"I have a boyfriend"

[bat soup]

4 words that will will throw me off in a convo. How do I respond to this? Say we're talking and I ask her out, and she throws this line at me? I wouldn't go after her after hearing this, but how to do I back out of this gracefully?

Oh my God, some guy tried to use this one on me last night!

I would have replied "sausages" and then walked off.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

She: "I'm seeing someone right now"

You: "I'm seeing two women right now - you need to catch up. (BIG GRIN)"

BOOM. That is a good one!

 

[bat soup]

Oh my God, some guy tried to use this one on me last night!

Did it work?

 

[SW15]

Oh my God, some guy tried to use this one on me last night!

Did it work?

She made that post in 2002 and hasn't been seen in the Forum since 2009. She probably wouldn't remember by now even if she was actively posting. She was slated to get married in 2005. There's a good chance that marriage ended and she's in her 40s nearly 50 by now.

 

[bat soup]

She made that post in 2002 and hasn't been seen in the Forum since 2009. She probably wouldn't remember by now even if she was actively posting. She was slated to get married in 2005. There's a good chance that marriage ended and she's in her 40s nearly 50 by now.

Holy sheet. They should put this thread in the Egyptian Museum.

 

[SW15]

Holy sheet. They should put this thread in the Egyptian Museum.

I can remember some approaches that I made from 2000-2005, especially if the approach ended in a bang. If an approach I made in 2000-2005 resulted in a bang, I'll likely remember it. If there was some harsh rejection, I'd likely remember it. There are also numerous rejections from that era that I wouldn't remember.

Women field a lot of approaches. They field more approaches than we do. If you consider electronic approaches, that number has gone way up since 2005. Even in 2002, if a 25 year old woman was going out to bars and didn't have a website dating profile, she was still getting approached a decent amount.

 

[bat soup]

4 words that will will throw me off in a convo. How do I respond to this? Say we're talking and I ask her out, and she throws this line at me? I wouldn't go after her after hearing this, but how to do I back out of this gracefully?

Tell her "Call me if it doesn't work out" or "OK. Call me if your situation changes".

The point with this is that you're not ignoring what she said, but you're still leaving the door open IF (and only IF) she changes her mind about what she wants to do with you. You're not accepting to deal with her as a friend.

 

[bat soup]

This is an ancient thread, but it's a common theme and I think the advice to this question hasn't changed. If a girl tells you that she has a boyfriend, you can't ignore it. It could be a sign of low interest or she could just be letting you know the deal, in case something does happen between you.

I would rather that a girl not tell me if she has a boyfriend. I don't ask and I don't want to know. But if she does, then you have to acknowledge it and let her know what your position is. For me - I don't give a sheet really, as long as she is willing to bang. If not then I don't want to deal with her. So I tell her "if something changes and you want to do something together, call me". That makes it clear that I don't want calls from her unless she wants to get together, but on the other hand I'm not just blowing her off.

 

[SW15]

IHAB is fading. With more people using swipe apps to meet people, IHAB's are less commonly used now than they were in the early years of me dating (1999-2005, ages 16 to 22). Even when websites were gaining in popularity from 2005-2012, IHAB's were still common enough. Once Tinder got big around 2013, I think they started fading. I can't recall the last time I got IHAB'ed. I have used swipe apps over the years but have done plenty of cold approaching. Something you'll notice with more use of swipe apps is that some women don't know how to process in-person approaches anymore. This was going on before COVID hit and was usually seen in daytime approaching.

when I asked her out, she gave me some bogus excuse that she had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't going to see anyone one on one. She had moved to the city 6 months earlier, so it is likely that whatever relationship she was in ended 6 months earlier when she moved. About 6 weeks later, I saw her at the grocery store with some guy. That line was total horse manure. I had to see her at my gym for a long time after that and had still seen her at my gym right before the pandemic hit.

I still think most women are not giving IHAB's anymore but are using other excuses, like the bogus one I talk about on the previous page.

 

[SW15]

Often times, when a girl gives you an excuse like this, it's code for 'try harder.'

Truth.

Sometimes it is. I don't take IHAB at face value when I get it. I assume she's shiit testing. Even if she is in a relationship, as most people are at any given point, it's likely a mediocre to subpar one.

 

[returnofpigman]

4 words that will will throw me off in a convo. How do I respond to this? Say we're talking and I ask her out, and she throws this line at me? I wouldn't go after her after hearing this, but how to do I back out of this gracefully?

I ignore it and continue the conversation. She is telling you that to keep her ASD up. She is bored with him if she is spending time with you especially if she seems to like you. I had a girl tell me that a month ago. We talked about him only a few minutes and she mentioned he has 6 cats. Without dissing him, I mentioned that’s a lot of cats. It’s like a cat farm in his house. I then moved the conversation back what we were doing. You could tell she was bored with him and his cats. Saw her the other day in the store. She stands very close and stares into my eyes when speaking to me as long as she doesn’t have her friends around her Who may alert catboy. Must attempt escalation if I get through the BF protection shield.

 

[Robert28]

Often times, when a girl gives you an excuse like this, it's code for 'try harder.'

Truth.

“Dance, monkey, dance!” No thank you. She had her one chance and you decided to blow it. I’m not into “trying harder” and playing games.

 

[Robert28]

You never know if it could’ve turned into some beautiful.

...all because you didn’t want to give her another ounce of effort.

Having the mindset you suggest is a bit too ego-centric.

These chicks know how to play the game too, gents.

You degrade yourself as a man by chasing after some girl that just told you she has a boyfriend. I am first to admit that I have a rather large ego, it gets me in trouble sometimes but it also keeps me from being made a fool of too. She could pick any number of lines to use if she wants me to try harder, “sorry I have a boyfriend” will never make me try harder. It’ll make me say “ok cool, later” and turn around and walk off.

 

[RickPound]

Who may alert catboy.

Lol, catboy

 

[Hamurabimbi]

‘Is he here?’

 

[returnofpigman]

Her: "I have a boyfriend."

Hank: Is he an organ donor?

Her: No.

Hank: He's not? See, you're way too beautiful to be with someone who can't even give you their heart."

@TheNewStyle123 @RickPound @Robert28 @SW15 @Pan87 @Black Widow Void @BeExcellent

this is how the real players respond to it. Works like a charm.

Good grief that’s awful. Do you laugh your a$$ off after saying that?
Give girl line, wait for shock and dry heaves, follow up with:
On a scale of 1 to 10 how nauseous does that line make you?
Girl: 10
You: Ok, I’ll log that for the study

You have now completely eliminated the BF from the conversation. Brilliant!

 

[returnofpigman]

It works well for me, guy who rarely ever posts here.

Enjoy the forum.

I can imagine it works. Keeping straight face would be my challenge with something like that.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I once approached a girl and she said this. I countered with “so do I”. Almost got her number too.

 

[Lordeterra]

4 words that will will throw me off in a convo. How do I respond to this? Say we're talking and I ask her out, and she throws this line at me? I wouldn't go after her after hearing this, but how to do I back out of this gracefully?

ive slept with a woman the next day that said this. Look her dead in the eye with the "I will fvck the sh1t out of you" intent (make sure your confident and attractive before you do this lol) while saying its okay we can just be friends. She knows what you want and because you said youll be friends youll take the responsibility off of her if she just happens to have your penis in her pvssy lol. This is how women think.

 

[Rocnavy]

Dude when a woman mentions upfront that she has a bf, husband or even seeing somebody that means she's not interested in you even if she's lying or not. Your best response is ok no problem and walk away. Men are not competitors they are opportunists so stop simping over a woman who telling u she has a bf.