Smartone84
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2006
- Messages
- 312
- Reaction score
- 91
Met her online well over a month ago now. Very different/reserved type of chick. Got weird about removing her mask for a kiss at the end of what was a very nice 3rd date and said "Next time!". Not big into sex talk. Only made out at the end of the 4TH DATE (I know). 5th date I slept over her place and banged her, though I did have a little trouble keeping it up with the condom (hate those things). She told me she's on the pill but prefers condoms initially. She understood my issues and after there was just tons of cuddling and intimacy, and it really felt like something was progressing by the morning when I left.
Here's the thing: Back up for a minute, and she reveals to me at the end of the 4th date, now a month into dating, (after me asking) that her new job that she got only recently will "LIKELY" be moving her FOUR HOURS away to another state at some point in the Fall. Wow, I thought. I was shocked, and disappointed. Just as I was starting to really like her, this bombshell was dropped right in my face. She then told me flat out, that if I didn't ever want to see her again, she would understand. She did say she enjoys seeing me and would definitely see me again though and likes spending time with me. In so many words in my response, I basically agreed to keep seeing her but then told her well, what would happen in the theoretical scenario that we were dating, etc. Her response was simply something along the lines of: "well, the Fall is such a long time away....". It just seemed as if it was too "much" of a thought for her to process, but there I was thinking geez, you better tell me what's going on here bc I ain't going to date someone for months and then they're out of my life the next day.
About her: She's 40 years old, never married, never engaged, never even lived with a guy, but super attractive, super smart and extremely nice/well mannered. Definitely not your typical western attractive white girl from a big city. I do not know anything about her dating history yet though I am a bit more curious at this stage as maybe you'll understand as you read. You can feel the chemistry between us and it's nice. But that being said I still feel like there is just something "off" about her based on her other actions as you will continue to read about....
While she's not a big phone person at all, she has yet to once, in this near 1.5 months (even though things only really began picking up steam after the 3rd date) text me unprompted, and has ALWAYS taken hours to respond to me, so much so that by the 4th and 5th date offers, when she took 5-6 hours to answer me both times, I was finally starting to get annoyed wondering what is the deal with this chick. Back to her ever reaching out, she's only messaged me about things that I asked her about previously (i.e. Let me know how the vaccine goes when you get it) but never a single how's your day or this made me think of you, etc. Never a call. She HAS gotten a little flirty in texts but as we all know actions speak louder than words. I know texting is primarily for setting up dates and lord knows I don't go into full fledged convos, but never having anything come from her randomly I find odd. Long story short, outside of the actual dates, the rapport and convo feels like next to nothing and now at this point, it's starting to reach an awkward level so much so that when I go into this 6th date, it may as well feel like a 1st date.
As far as in person goes however, things are a bit different. While she hasn't "confessed" any feelings for me or anything like that, the kino was out of control towards the end of the 4th date and entire 5th date, and she told me flat out how she wants a relationship and ultimately a family one day. She also started implying that she'd want to see me in the future with a few ideas for plans down the road. This weekend now is her birthday weekend. I called her and we had a nice chat the other day and I told her I'd like to see her for her bday weekend and take her out. She explained that unfortunately her entire weekend is crazy busy and didn't seem like she wanted to be put on the spot (again lets rememeber this is a chick who has taken hours upon hours before to respond even to text offers) and said she will let me know. I hung up the phone thinking ok then. 24 hours later- she texts me saying while this weekend is just too busy, she's very flexible and can either see me next Saturday at my place or even during the week. I said ok that's fine and i'll cook for her NEXT weekend. She was happy, but meanwhile I feel like the steam is just dying as each day goes on. Then today, a couple of days after this convo where we set up those plans, I texted her something very quick, a piece of news I thought she'd like to see, and again, 3 hours later there's the response, with nothing else for me to grab onto or answer. It was a close ended remark.
I do still like this chick and absolutely think there's something there, but at this stage in the game, well over a month in and looking at a 6th date coming up, I just can't say I sense the same from her.
So my question is simple- What is the deal here?
IS IT the eventual move that's holding her back from latching on? The implication there being that this girl could legit date me for the entire summer and turn off all her deep feelings and then pack up shop and be ok with a long distance relationship at 41 yrs old?
or
IS she just weird/guarded in general and doesn't know how to properly communicate?
or
is this woman legit just enjoying some company and companionship and has general low interest?
*As a key thing, I should note that she has often paid for things on these dates, so a theory of she's using me for free meals, drinks and fun can be thrown out the window.
Here's the thing: Back up for a minute, and she reveals to me at the end of the 4th date, now a month into dating, (after me asking) that her new job that she got only recently will "LIKELY" be moving her FOUR HOURS away to another state at some point in the Fall. Wow, I thought. I was shocked, and disappointed. Just as I was starting to really like her, this bombshell was dropped right in my face. She then told me flat out, that if I didn't ever want to see her again, she would understand. She did say she enjoys seeing me and would definitely see me again though and likes spending time with me. In so many words in my response, I basically agreed to keep seeing her but then told her well, what would happen in the theoretical scenario that we were dating, etc. Her response was simply something along the lines of: "well, the Fall is such a long time away....". It just seemed as if it was too "much" of a thought for her to process, but there I was thinking geez, you better tell me what's going on here bc I ain't going to date someone for months and then they're out of my life the next day.
About her: She's 40 years old, never married, never engaged, never even lived with a guy, but super attractive, super smart and extremely nice/well mannered. Definitely not your typical western attractive white girl from a big city. I do not know anything about her dating history yet though I am a bit more curious at this stage as maybe you'll understand as you read. You can feel the chemistry between us and it's nice. But that being said I still feel like there is just something "off" about her based on her other actions as you will continue to read about....
While she's not a big phone person at all, she has yet to once, in this near 1.5 months (even though things only really began picking up steam after the 3rd date) text me unprompted, and has ALWAYS taken hours to respond to me, so much so that by the 4th and 5th date offers, when she took 5-6 hours to answer me both times, I was finally starting to get annoyed wondering what is the deal with this chick. Back to her ever reaching out, she's only messaged me about things that I asked her about previously (i.e. Let me know how the vaccine goes when you get it) but never a single how's your day or this made me think of you, etc. Never a call. She HAS gotten a little flirty in texts but as we all know actions speak louder than words. I know texting is primarily for setting up dates and lord knows I don't go into full fledged convos, but never having anything come from her randomly I find odd. Long story short, outside of the actual dates, the rapport and convo feels like next to nothing and now at this point, it's starting to reach an awkward level so much so that when I go into this 6th date, it may as well feel like a 1st date.
As far as in person goes however, things are a bit different. While she hasn't "confessed" any feelings for me or anything like that, the kino was out of control towards the end of the 4th date and entire 5th date, and she told me flat out how she wants a relationship and ultimately a family one day. She also started implying that she'd want to see me in the future with a few ideas for plans down the road. This weekend now is her birthday weekend. I called her and we had a nice chat the other day and I told her I'd like to see her for her bday weekend and take her out. She explained that unfortunately her entire weekend is crazy busy and didn't seem like she wanted to be put on the spot (again lets rememeber this is a chick who has taken hours upon hours before to respond even to text offers) and said she will let me know. I hung up the phone thinking ok then. 24 hours later- she texts me saying while this weekend is just too busy, she's very flexible and can either see me next Saturday at my place or even during the week. I said ok that's fine and i'll cook for her NEXT weekend. She was happy, but meanwhile I feel like the steam is just dying as each day goes on. Then today, a couple of days after this convo where we set up those plans, I texted her something very quick, a piece of news I thought she'd like to see, and again, 3 hours later there's the response, with nothing else for me to grab onto or answer. It was a close ended remark.
I do still like this chick and absolutely think there's something there, but at this stage in the game, well over a month in and looking at a 6th date coming up, I just can't say I sense the same from her.
So my question is simple- What is the deal here?
IS IT the eventual move that's holding her back from latching on? The implication there being that this girl could legit date me for the entire summer and turn off all her deep feelings and then pack up shop and be ok with a long distance relationship at 41 yrs old?
or
IS she just weird/guarded in general and doesn't know how to properly communicate?
or
is this woman legit just enjoying some company and companionship and has general low interest?
*As a key thing, I should note that she has often paid for things on these dates, so a theory of she's using me for free meals, drinks and fun can be thrown out the window.
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