Does the orbiter exist?

[GreatHornedOwl]

You hear these stories about guys who hang around a woman in hopes of getting action, through buying dinners, drinks, etc. These are implications of a woman "using" a man for attention. But that's where the story stops. Like a to be continued episode that never aired. In almost every situation I've witnessed, through college, co-workers, friends, it's a misconception and sleight of hand peddled by dating coaches as a scare tactic to follow certain advice, usually their advice. That mentality is reinforced in the minds of men who aren't successful with women.

Most guys, and I speak from anecdotal evidence, have gotten the girl through being her "friend", which is interchangeable these days with "orbiter".

Women do not meet up for drinks, go to dinner, or continually put themselves in situations with a guy they're not interested in. It's flawed logic. And I think both genders realize this. Think about it. A man is not going to be pursuing a woman unless he knows he has a shot with her. So if she's not interested, then he's not pursuing. Therefore, the orbiter does not exist.

This is in actuality, a defense mechanism from a man who is in the process of pursuing the woman, projecting their insecurities into the situation before determining her interest.

 

[Sir FB]

Maybe you have had to be one to understand. I have this horrible memory less than a year ago about sleeping in the same bed with a woman who said "no sex" and accepting it. Leading up to this I had done all sorts of things for her, put up a security camera, donated money to her charitable cause, all to try and get with her. It was classic beta behavior and only got me put in the friendzone, but as long as I was willing to play the "just friends" game she was fine with sleeping in the same room, going to dinner or whatever. The moment I refused to accept the friend zone and expressed romantic interest I got shamed for having sexual desire, un-friended and blocked on social media. Orbiters definitely exist.

 

[SW15]

If orbiters do not exist, then why can women make a living from Instagram and OnlyFans?

 

[Georgepithyou]

The moment I refused to accept the friend zone and expressed romantic interest I got shamed for having sexual desire, un-friended and blocked on social media. Orbiters definitely exist.

That is just messed up, but it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Such a cold and heartless woman.

 

[spikeanut]

That is just messed up, but it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Such a cold and heartless woman.

The sad reality is she was not an exceptionally cold or more heartless woman than the norm. She treated him like any woman would treat a man they are not interested in.

To get back to OP's post, orbiters absolutely exist. The falsity of his post is assuming women have the same societally bound moral compass as a man. Men may not put themselves in situations where they meet up for dinner and drinks with a girl they're not attracted to, but this is not the case with women. Women crave male attention. And if the orbiter is the only one giving her that life blood at the moment, then he is the lucky bastard for the free dinner meal of the night.

This is the nature of the game. We should not be upset and angry at a woman for doing these things. It's upon us, as men, to know better and not allow ourselves to get into these situations. That is the whole purpose of the Red Pill, to understand and accept women's nature. It would be akin to getting angry at the lion for trying to make a snack out of you, if you purposely jump into the lions den.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I agree, the false definition of an Orbiter for us is some marketing narrative fed to us by PUAs or Hollywood. Orbiters are the guys you are winning against in the competition for her. Once a woman attaches a to man, she will drop her orbiters like flies. She might see an orbiter as a friend because he was too wussy to make a move, but she will drop him when he does and act all naïve about it lol.

You guys have to realize that PUA is meant for toxic women that are never going to submit to a man in the first place. OMG you might be able to tame her for a year, but a wild Zebra is going to buck eventually because they weren't meant to be domesticated in the first place.

 

[Barrister]

You hear these stories about guys who hang around a woman in hopes of getting action, through buying dinners, drinks, etc. These are implications of a woman "using" a man for attention. But that's where the story stops. Like a to be continued episode that never aired. In almost every situation I've witnessed, through college, co-workers, friends, it's a misconception and sleight of hand peddled by dating coaches as a scare tactic to follow certain advice, usually their advice. That mentality is reinforced in the minds of men who aren't successful with women.

Most guys, and I speak from anecdotal evidence, have gotten the girl through being her "friend", which is interchangeable these days with "orbiter".

Women do not meet up for drinks, go to dinner, or continually put themselves in situations with a guy they're not interested in. It's flawed logic. And I think both genders realize this. Think about it. A man is not going to be pursuing a woman unless he knows he has a shot with her. So if she's not interested, then he's not pursuing. Therefore, the orbiter does not exist.

This is in actuality, a defense mechanism from a man who is in the process of pursuing the woman, projecting their insecurities into the situation before determining her interest.

It without a doubt exists. My last LTR had literally about 10 orbiters at any given time throughout our relationship. These men would have fu*ked her within a heartbeat if given the chance. And they constantly did nice things for her. These are not things you would do for one of your guy friends. But if you're dating a HB 7+ you have to expect orbiters to be in the picture to a certain extent. My last LTR I can say was a HB 8.5 and therefore this wasn't a surprise. I can say it became a problem a couple of times though.

 

[Bandolero]

Just flip the script.
Any of us was once in his life an orbiter.
Either it worked out and you eventually hit,
or you walked away with a damaged ego.

 

[metalwater]

Women are good at compartmentalizing social interactions.

Most men will prefer an LTR that does not have ongoing personal and private contact with other men (orbiters)
We can say it doesn't bother us. ok...
We can say chicks never fck orbiters, that would be very very naive. Even if it is transactional it's still a nut.

It is a choice we make to accept it because she insists. I suggest don't worry about it just choose if will accept it or not. Hate and complain it is a bad choice, not allowing it is ok and also just being in an open relationship is a choice. Accepting and or believing that orbiters are not men is insane. I actually see out in the wild many PUA, orbiting. Or maybe we call it something else.

Orbiters are different, is definitely what a clever PUA would want you to think. Just another way to play.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

I'm not talking about chicks on the internet that these guys send money to. Those are thots, and those guys are suckers. Has nothing to do with orbiting.

We're talking about real interactions between men and women. I don't know ANY women, in recent memory off the top of my head, that ever took a guy up on an offer of dinner or drinks when she wasn't interested. As I sit here and write this post, I still can't think of any women I've known display this behavior, with the exception of very low socioeconomic status situations, or a platonic friend who was gay, and obviously not interested in her either. And those are the only exceptions.

Women cringe at being alone with men they're not interested in, and will only put themselves in that situation when they have to (work, school, etc).

My last LTR had literally about 10 orbiters at any given time throughout our relationship.

See, this is what I'm talking about. What do you mean 10 orbiters? Explain this. Ten guys who want to have sex with a woman doesn't classify them as orbiters. Sure, they might be guys who are doing nice things because they want to have sex with her, but that doesn't justify taking one word and claiming they're in her proximity because of their thoughts. That's their thoughts, not hers. This shows a lack of boundaries.

My point here is the word "orbiter" has been twisted into a delusional state of a position a guy is never really in. The men in this community have ran with that "word", taken it out of context, and applied it to guys who are alone with women, take them out for drinks, and dinners.

Now read that again.

Men who are alone with women... and taking them out for drinks, and dinners, are sleeping with those women. That isn't my opinion, that is 100% factual.

Men in this community incorrectly assume men who pursue those avenues aren't getting women. Which in turn means their mind is in a perpetual state of delusion.

 

[metalwater]

I'm not talking about chicks on the internet that these guys send money to. Those are thots, and those guys are suckers. Has nothing to do with orbiting.

We're talking about real interactions between men and women. I don't know ANY women, in recent memory off the top of my head, that ever took a guy up on an offer of dinner or drinks when she wasn't interested. As I sit here and write this post, I still can't think of any women I've known display this behavior, with the exception of very low socioeconomic status situations, or a platonic friend who was gay, and obviously not interested in her either. And those are the only exceptions.

Women cringe at being alone with men they're not interested in, and will only put themselves in that situation when they have to (work, school, etc).



See, this is what I'm talking about. What do you mean 10 orbiters? Explain this. Ten guys who want to have sex with a woman doesn't classify them as orbiters. Sure, they might be guys who are doing nice things because they want to have sex with her, but that doesn't justify taking one word and claiming they're in her proximity because of their thoughts. That's their thoughts, not hers. This shows a lack of boundaries.

My point here is the word "orbiter" has been twisted into a delusional state of a position a guy is never really in. The men in this community have ran with that "word", taken it out of context, and applied it to guys who are alone with women, take them out for drinks, and dinners.

Now read that again.

Men who are alone with women... and taking them out for drinks, and dinners, are sleeping with those women. That isn't my opinion, that is 100% factual.

Men in this community incorrectly assuming men who pursue those avenues aren't getting women.

this is gospel. believe it.

 

[Barrister]

I'm not talking about chicks on the internet that these guys send money to. Those are thots, and those guys are suckers. Has nothing to do with orbiting.

We're talking about real interactions between men and women. I don't know ANY women, in recent memory off the top of my head, that ever took a guy up on an offer of dinner or drinks when she wasn't interested. As I sit here and write this post, I still can't think of any women I've known display this behavior, with the exception of very low socioeconomic status situations, or a platonic friend who was gay, and obviously not interested in her either. And those are the only exceptions.

Women cringe at being alone with men they're not interested in, and will only put themselves in that situation when they have to (work, school, etc).



See, this is what I'm talking about. What do you mean 10 orbiters? Explain this. Ten guys who want to have sex with a woman doesn't classify them as orbiters. Sure, they might be guys who are doing nice things because they want to have sex with her, but that doesn't justify taking one word and claiming they're in her proximity because of their thoughts. That's their thoughts, not hers. This shows a lack of boundaries.

My point here is the word "orbiter" has been twisted into a delusional state of a position a guy is never really in. The men in this community have ran with that "word", taken it out of context, and applied it to guys who are alone with women, take them out for drinks, and dinners.

Now read that again.

Men who are alone with women... and taking them out for drinks, and dinners, are sleeping with those women. That isn't my opinion, that is 100% factual.

Men in this community incorrectly assuming men who pursue those avenues aren't getting women.

You’re wrong, brother. Women do this all the time. These orbiters were typically business associates that she felt the need to go out with and “network” with. Business wasn’t discussed though. She was there for validation. And these men gave it because she was a very good looking woman and got a lot of attention for it. Men like to be with hot women and hope for a shot at them. (Most) Women want as much validation (attention) from as many sources as possible. These are men who are lower on the totem poll but can be an option for her.

In fact, I learned she’s in a relationship with one of her former orbiters a few weeks ago. This is how this works. Not sure where you’re coming from.

 

[Bandolero]

Even if she is loyal to her current man and you are waiting on the sideline as a rebound . And she sees you as that. - u are an orbiter!
You are providing attention and time ( let's say in this cause u know u gone hit, but u have to wait for your turn) but she is not giving it up yet.
You are an _ _ b _ _ t_r. Fill it out friend.
You are investing into something u maybe won't get.

 

[metalwater]

You’re wrong, brother. Women do this all the time. These orbiters were typically business associates that she felt the need to go out with and “network” with. Business wasn’t discussed though. She was there for validation. And these men gave it because she was a very good looking woman and got a lot of attention for it. Men like to be with hot women and hope for a shot at them. (Most) Women want as much validation (attention) from as many sources as possible. These are men who are lower on the totem poll but can be an option for her.

In fact, I learned she’s in a relationship with one of her former orbiters a few weeks ago. This is how this works. Not sure where you’re coming from.

saying the same thing as the other. this girl is now with a past orbiter. not all orbiters hit, but if there are obiters some are or will eventually. 100%.

 

[SW15]

We're talking about real interactions between men and women. I don't know ANY women, in recent memory off the top of my head, that ever took a guy up on an offer of dinner or drinks when she wasn't interested.

I don't know any women like that either but apparently they exist. A Match.com survey says 1/3 of women have admitted to going out on dates just to get free meals.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

You’re wrong, brother. Women do this all the time. These orbiters were typically business associates that she felt the need to go out with and “network” with. Business wasn’t discussed though. She was there for validation. And these men gave it because she was a very good looking woman and got a lot of attention for it. Men like to be with hot women and hope for a shot at them. (Most) Women want as much validation (attention) from as many sources as possible. These are men who are lower on the totem poll but can be an option for her.

In fact, I learned she’s in a relationship with one of her former orbiters a few weeks ago. This is how this works. Not sure where you’re coming from.

What you just said didn't make any sense. According to you, it was a business associate where she felt the *need* to meet up with because of work, which was one of the few exceptions I actually gave. Then you said she was there for validation. Well, which was it? Was she there because she had to, or because she wanted to? Sounds like you don't really know.

Then you said she eventually got into a relationship with a former "orbiter".

So in other words, she voluntarily met one of these guys OUTSIDE of school or work, alone, just going to take a wild guess and say they had drinks or dinner at some point.... and slept together.

You just proved my point 1000%

 

[Barrister]

saying the same thing as the other. this girl is now with a past orbiter. not all orbiters hit, but if there are obiters some are or will eventually. 100%.

Sounds like a lot of this is over semantics of the word “orbiter.” To me - if a man is trying to bag a chick and is taking steps to do so and she is aware on some level of this but is not willing to bang but is willing to receive attention from him - he has entered her “orbit” and is now an orbiter. It doesn’t necessarily have to be he’s buying her food and drinks either. But the OP seems to suggest that no man is going to sit around and keep expending attention on a woman if he’s not sleeping with her. This is not even remotely true which I can attest to from my aforementioned experience.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I think of an orbiter as a guy who a woman knows is interested sexually in her, that may be promoted to fwb for her given needs at a given time. Then demoted back to friendzone when those are met.

 

[Barrister]

What you just said didn't make any sense. According to you, it was a business associate where she felt the *need* to meet up with because of work, which was one of the few exceptions I actually gave. Then you said she was there for validation. Well, which was it? Was she there because she had to, or because she wanted to? Sounds like you don't really know.

Then you said she eventually got into a relationship with a former "orbiter".

So in other words, she voluntarily met one of these guys OUTSIDE of school or work, alone, just going to take a wild guess and say they had drinks or dinner at some point.... and slept together.

You just proved my point 1000%

There was no need to meet up. It was for validation. I made that abundantly clear in my last post.

Your statement that women don’t want to meet up with men for dinner or drinks they aren’t interested in, presumably for sex, is patently false. If you can’t understand that and it “doesn’t make sense” to you I’m sorry.

 

[Bandolero]

We don't have to reinvent the wheel Guys.
This forum is digging to deep into obvious behavior and is questioning everything.
Some stuff is quite interesting and other stuff not
We shouldn't be waisting our time on the obvious.
Let's step our game up and leave this second grade stuff behind us. Seriously.