His money = our money. Her money = her money.

[RickTheToad]

I was referring to non-marital cohabitation...

Good way to lose a lot of your sh!t if it goes south...

It's all over the culture. You ever seen those coffee mugs with the couple quotes on them?

They all make the husband sound like a pathetic piece of trash.

Yea... Seen them at the nurses station..

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Wife “loans” him money to pay half the bills while he’s temporarily not earning, then later refuses to use her $200k windfall to pay her half of the bills. Says she shouldn’t have to pay her half anymore. Proceeds to blow money on new cars and other things.

You can’t make this sh*t up

My wife offered to ‘loan’ me money when I was having financial trouble. Now I make six figures — and she refuses to pay any bills

‘As I started my new job, and my wife received her money, she used part of her $200,000 inheritance to go on a spending spree: a $50,000 truck and a $20,000...

www.marketwatch.com

Marriage is a tricky and often unbalanced arrangement. Either you don't get married or you sign a very detailed and concise prenup. If you choose not to marry but live together, even then you have to cover your a** and sign some type of agreement. Because if things go sour, the court will always favor the woman.

Modern Man Advice

 

[EyeBRollin]

Good way to lose a lot of your sh!t if it goes south...

Living in fear is a loser’s mindset. So what if we lose shvt? Acquire more.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It's all half his if he divorces her. Marital property is jointly held.

Except inheritance money is usually exempt (which she probably knows).

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

I have heard a friend's wife joke "What's mine is mine and what's his is mine"

I think a new generation is waking up to this nonsense.

Assuming they didn't become trannies, that is.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Except inheritance money is usually exempt (which she probably knows).

If she were smart, she could keep it separate, good point. Idk about every state, but in mine it looks like she would have comingled the assets when she started buying stuff.

Inheritance and Divorce In Illinois - Russell D. Knight

Inheritance and divorce in Illinois. Learn more about what happens to money from an inheritance in a Chicago, Illinois divorce.

rdklegal.com

 

[Lookatu]

Guy's biggest mistakes are not screening properly and giving proper sh1t tests before marriage.

I met my wife while I was unemployed so financial reasons for divorce is ruled out. She also never said no to me for sex and wants it more than I do so lack of sex is ruled out. Those two are the two biggest reasons for divorce.

 

[RickTheToad]

Living in fear is a loser’s mindset. So what if we lose shvt? Acquire more.

Seriously? That's your answer? Please, don't give advice like this. It's unproductive for anyone reading. Who works hard for what they've acquired to lose it all in a divorce? Tell that to Robin Williams and other dudes who, at a certain age couldn't "acquire more" at 50, 60, 70 + then to just commit suicide instead of "starting all over again". You're out there dude.. Like Pluto...

 

[EyeBRollin]

Seriously? That's your answer? Please, don't give advice like this. It's unproductive for anyone reading. Who works hard for what they've acquired to lose it all in a divorce? Tell that to Robin Williams and other dudes who, at a certain age couldn't "acquire more" at 50, 60, 70 + then to just commit suicide instead of "starting all over again". You're out there dude.. Like Pluto...

No, I’m not. You’re speaking in fear. Marriage has financial benefits for men (married men earn more and live longer). This is fact, not opinion. Sorry for the guys who had bad experiences. Telling every man to be single and spin plates for the rest of their lives is irresponsibly bad advice.

 

[RickTheToad]

No, I’m not. You’re speaking in fear. Marriage has financial benefits for men (married men earn more and live longer). This is fact, not opinion. Sorry for the guys who had bad experiences. Telling every man to be single and spin plates for the rest of their lives is irresponsibly bad advice.

Respectfully, I disagree. I am not living in fear. My divorce didn't hurt me at all. In fact, my ex-wife (annulled) had to file for bankruptcy a few years later. I only found out about this as due to the notices I received at my house where she lived for a short period of time. You have never experienced the machine and life after the machine, so respectfully, you are not in a position to give said advice about marriage and divorce. I know many dudes who've been financially destroyed from divorce.

I am not, nor have I ever, told any dude to spin plates for the rest of his life. That's pointless, becomes boring and has little substance. I do suggest that they build a family without a state license. Want a religious marriage, go for it, just not a state license. That is all. You're still a bit Disney and blue pill on marriage. No disrespect, but people change and change in marriage the dude gets royally screwed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I am not, nor have I ever, told any dude to spin plates for the rest of his life. That's pointless, becomes boring and has little substance. I do suggest that they build a family without a state license. Want a religious marriage, go for it, just not a state license. That is all. You're still a bit Disney and blue pill on marriage. No disrespect, but people change and change in marriage the dude gets royally screwed.

How exactly is that arrangement more beneficial than a state license?

 

[RickTheToad]

How exactly is that arrangement more beneficial than a state license?

You're married under the eyes of religion and not the state. Neither party will be at the mercy of lawyers or the family court. At worst, the dude will have to pay child support for his offspring. No losing the house (if either owned it outright or it's in one person's name, not the others), no splitting of assets, no splitting of retirement. If she refuses, no problem, she's only in it for the exit fee. If she goes a long with it, then you have a keeper.

Ultimate litmus test if a female really wants to build a family with a dude or not. The alternative, ALL THE TIME is:

Splitting of the marital assets.
Losing the ability to stay in YOUR house, but having to be forced to pay for continuous upkeep, insurance and taxes even though you do not live there any longer.
Splitting of YOUR savings.
Splitting of YOUR retirement accounts.
Loss of ALL tax benefits, while she keeps the child dependency credit.
Having to pay alimony, without having the ability to write it off on your taxes; yet her alimony payments are tax free.

See the difference?

 

[EyeBRollin]

You're married under the eyes of religion and not the state. Neither party will be at the mercy of lawyers or the family court. At worst, the dude will have to pay child support for his offspring. No losing the house (if either owned it outright or it's in one person's name, not the others), no splitting of assets, no splitting of retirement. If she refuses, no problem, she's only in it for the exit fee. If she goes a long with it, then you have a keeper.

Ultimate litmus test if a female really wants to build a family with a dude or not. The alternative, ALL THE TIME is:

Splitting of the marital assets.
Losing the ability to stay in YOUR house, but having to be forced to pay for continuous upkeep, insurance and taxes even though you do not live there any longer.
Splitting of YOUR savings.
Splitting of YOUR retirement accounts.
Loss of ALL tax benefits, while she keeps the child dependency credit.
Having to pay alimony, without having the ability to write it off on your taxes; yet her alimony payments are tax free.

See the difference?

No. No offense guy but you sound jaded. None of what you have offered is a benefit. This is a list of potential liability.

It’s not your house, etc. That is joint property. With a religious marriage only, you get none of legal benefits, lose the tax benefits, and under some jurisdictions still are considered common law.

 

[RickTheToad]

No. No offense guy but you sound jaded. None of what you have offered is a benefit. This is a list of potential liability.

It’s not your house, etc. That is joint property. With a religious marriage only, you get none of legal benefits, lose the tax benefits, and under some jurisdictions still are considered common law.

There is no common law in New York; where you are currently domiciled. Any legal benefit, and I use that term loosely given in marriage can be given outside of marriage with a trust. The tax benefits are minimal, at best, a couple grand a year for most. So, for a couple of grand you'd risk over half of your assets and net worth? Come on, even you cannot be that naive. Oh, the house, hmm. Do you know what happens when one party owns the house prior to marriage, and then the other party moves in during marriage, it becomes marital property even though it was purchased prior to marriage. So, if your lovely wifey moves in to your house you purchased years prior, she can now have the family court kick you out of your own home.

Seems marriage sounds wonderful. Please, go ahead, get married. When she divorces your ass, don't say a toad didn't try to warn you of the potential pitfalls. You live in dream world dude.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Oh, the house, hmm. Do you know what happens when one party owns the house prior to marriage, and then the other party moves in during marriage, it becomes marital property even though it was purchased prior to marriage. So, if your lovely wifey moves in to your house you purchased years prior, she can now have the family court kick you out of your own home.

I smell a rat. How does an ex-wife kick her husband out of a house she never owned before the marriage?

Seems marriage sounds wonderful. Please, go ahead, get married. When she divorces your ass, don't say a toad didn't try to warn you of the potential pitfalls. You live in dream world dude.

Jaded indeed.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Guy's biggest mistakes are not screening properly and giving proper sh1t tests before marriage.

I met my wife while I was unemployed so financial reasons for divorce is ruled out. She also never said no to me for sex and wants it more than I do so lack of sex is ruled out. Those two are the two biggest reasons for divorce.

Plus it means she at least "likes" you. Sex should never be downplayed.

 

[Bandolero]

THIS Exactly.

So many relationship problems can be avoided by establishing frame very early. Time and again we see men come in here who are dealing with a difficult relationship issue, when early conversations could have avoided the trouble.

I have found that the best way to sneak under the radar effortlessly (early in the relationship) is the random "musing". You're at a park, let's say, sitting quietly together. You start musing on relationships, how you think principle XYZ is important, how you know a couple where the wife did ABC and destroyed everything, how you're glad your gf is not the same way, etc. The power of influence this affords you is tremendous. Somehow, girls are extremely receptive to a man's musings about life.

Your Uncle Atom just gave you the keys to the relationship kingdom, disguised as nothing.

Hopefully her actions are as loud as her words.
I would bet in most cases against it.

 

[Georgepithyou]

This is why people should only cohabitate (with an agreement) and not marry. There's zero benefit if he leaves, because half of the marital assets are legally hers. It's a negative sum game here. If people just cohabitate, with kids or not, the other can leave when sh!t hits the fan and only have to pay child support. In addition, if one own's a home, it's still his or her home, not their home. State sanctioned marriage is the biggest scam out there.

TBH though, I am not sure if I'd be able to live with a female who I was married to who acted this way. I'd probably have a serious talk with her and proceed from there. Even when I was married, we gave each other money; or offered to do so.

Here in Australia we have De facto partnerships (common law marriage) for people that live together long enough. Maybe it's best to have seperate houses, buy all your stuff in someone elses name
Transfer all your money to an offshore bank account

 

[RickTheToad]

I smell a rat. How does an ex-wife kick her husband out of a house she never owned before the marriage?



Jaded indeed.

Simple. You guys have kids, the court awards her the marital home with no compensation to you. In addition, you are also awarded the responsibility of property taxes, mortgage, utilities and sewer. Do whatever you wish. Just understand, you have less than a 50% chance of not going down this route. If that's okay with you, knock yourself out. If you think this is not reality, that's cool too, but you live on Melmac, not Earth.

 

[RickTheToad]

Here in Australia we have De facto partnerships (common law marriage) for people that live together long enough. Maybe it's best to have seperate houses, buy all your stuff in someone elses name
Transfer all your money to an offshore bank account

If that's possible and you can get a female to go along with it, go for it.