Update a year later

[MoMoses]

And brother its not like she just lost interest. This girl when she left me, she fired me too, she was my boss.. When I started to call her etc asking why she fired me, she told me she would call the police, and would contact social services to take my son from me if she knew I was a bad father.. She is a piece of work man. And now she comes to say hi to my son on the phone while she has me blocked.. Not cool

Wow. Ok.

Still not a fan of blocking her and showing her she got to you, but this is really bad. Forget about that biitch. I get it now why you are so mad at her.

edit: after reading the first thread you made months ago... she was your boss only for one month and only because she wanted you to have a job. You were unemployed and at her place all the time. Her offering you a job was a hint buddy. You never should have accepted this! No wonder it was all over just 3 weeks later. You really don't see this? You should have rejected her job offering and should have gotten another job sooner than yesterday. She wants a man. A man takes care of his own life and makes his own decisions and life choices. Taking jobs from your gf is not the way to go.

edit2: As for her blocking you: you were chasing her in a really bad way. She blocked you for a reason. Another hint you didn't see...

Listen man, you really need to work on this

 

[RicBoy]

I read your initial post from the previous thread.

She's your ex for a reason. The relationship was toxic. All the blocking, arguing, drama is a huge energy waste and time suck. Realize this now and go become a better man living a good life. Forget this Woman as she has her own issues. She probably gaslighted you meaning caused drama by pushing your buttons and then blaming you for it.

My advice is to write down all the negative things about her and your relationship with her and pin it to your forehead. Be thankful it ended. If anything was your fault then internalize what you did wrong and never do it again.

You sound like a good guy. Don't waste your time or energy on low quality or low status women. Finally be a good father to your son.

Yes she did that. Started to act like a Bix... Shouting on the phone with me as she was my supervisor and acting all distant then St home.. Then she would apologise and do all again. She was just waiting that I would flip with a did and shoved her during an argument. She finally had a reason to leave me and did it. Then I lost it and chased and chased for a while and that was the end.

 

[RicBoy]

But this went further. She sent a msg to my mom saying I attacked her and then call my son's mother to not let my son come to live with me, I would be a bad father a d use the kid to her access to her. That's why I blocked kids too, so she doesn't think I'm using my son and trying to keep kids interlocked to have access to her. Like I wrote in the msg I sent to her.. "I wanted to be with her and the kids but she decided to leave, now she has to go completely from my life and my son's"

I didn't really attack her either.. We had an argument and I pushed her, the bed was behind her that was it, I tried to have have some make up sex with her, it was nothing that bad. I apologised 10000 times too. She used it to have a way out. I was unemployed for a while and she probably saw me low value man a d got smothered.

 

[MoMoses]

I was unemployed for a while and she probably saw me low value man a d got smothered.

ding ding ding

You win a refrigerator

Her accusing you of using domestic violence is her looking for drama. Female behavior at its best. But she did it because she didn't feel safe around you. Arguing, pushing her, not leaving her alone, wanted to speak to her at every chance you'd get, etc

I'm not saying it's ok what she did, because it really isn't, but your behavior is the root of all of these problems man.

edit: and re-read all of your comments man. You've been looking for excuses lots of times. Take ownership of your own behavior. See your mistakes for what they are and learn from them. I can tell you are a good man and won't ever hurt a woman, but you're too unsure of yourself and your relationships.

 

[RicBoy]

ding ding ding

You win a refrigerator

Her accusing you of using domestic violence is her looking for drama. Female behavior at its best. But she did it because she didn't feel safe around you. Arguing, pushing her, not leaving her alone, wanted to speak to her at every chance you'd get, etc

I'm not saying it's ok what she did, because it really isn't, but your behavior is the root of all of these problems man.

edit: and re-read all of your comments man. You've been looking for excuses lots of times. Take ownership of your own behavior. See your mistakes for what they are and learn from them. I can tell you are a good man and won't ever hurt a woman, but you're too unsure of yourself and your relationships.

Yes my behaviour was ****. I scared her with so much chasing. And she is not used to have guys going after her this strong.
Last I heard from her was last August, I sent her msgs she replied one. She said something along the lines. We have nothing to talk, we are not gonna meet. Yes you attacked me. The kids can meet up but I won't be involved and leave me alone.

I never contacted her again until a couple weeks ago where I sent that one msg above and blocked them from my son's phone.

 

[RicBoy]

Now that I blocked the kids, I'll probably never hear from her again but that's OK life goes on. She is probably angry that I'm "hurting" her daughter. All the guys maybe 90% of this forum who followed my thread a year ago almost, told me I should not let the kids meet up.

 

[manfrombelow]

But this went further. She sent a msg to my mom saying I attacked her and then call my son's mother to not let my son come to live with me, I would be a bad father a d use the kid to her access to her. That's why I blocked kids too, so she doesn't think I'm using my son and trying to keep kids interlocked to have access to her. Like I wrote in the msg I sent to her.. "I wanted to be with her and the kids but she decided to leave, now she has to go completely from my life and my son's"

I didn't really attack her either.. We had an argument and I pushed her, the bed was behind her that was it, I tried to have have some make up sex with her, it was nothing that bad. I apologised 10000 times too. She used it to have a way out. I was unemployed for a while and she probably saw me low value man a d got smothered.

Man you only have yourself to blame when you decided to choose such a sh!tty woman to live with. Next time be more careful with your choice, because crazy low-level women not only can fvck up your mental health, but also your son's.

And you should seriously have some talk with your son, man-to-man talk, to explain to him why you did it, because no matter how you look at it, the fact that you unilaterally stopped the connection between him and his friend/step-sister/whatever could really fvck up his mental health and childhood. After all, being a good parent means don't make YOUR problems YOUR KIDS problems.

Goodluck man.

 

[RicBoy]

Man you only have yourself to blame when you decided to choose such a sh!tty woman to live with. Next time be more careful with your choice, because crazy low-level women not only can fvck up your mental health, but also your son's.

And you should seriously have some talk with your son, man-to-man talk, to explain to him why you did it, because no matter how you look at it, the fact that you unilaterally stopped the connection between him and his friend/step-sister/whatever could really fvck up his mental health and childhood. After all, being a good parent means don't make YOUR problems YOUR KIDS problems.

Goodluck man.

Thanks for your words. My ex was a supervisor in my company, very strong and masculine type of woman. Very loud too. She is the kind of girl who drives fast, while checks her phone, music loud and dancing in the car. She is a but too wild. Very hard to make this kind of woman submit to you. She fight all my decisions. Anyways its done now. I learnt from my mistakes too. It was fun to date her but I soon realised this would be her dominating me in the relationship and when I imposed my self she would say I'm insecure. Like for example I like to drive the car, she always fought me on that she wanted to drive. For me a man drives his family period.

I think it was a good decison to end the kids friendship, for my own sake. Don't wanna hear her on the background of thr phone calls all day long and whatever guys she is dating

 

[manfrombelow]

Thanks for your words. My ex was a supervisor in my company, very strong and masculine type of woman. Very loud too. She is the kind of girl who drives fast, while checks her phone, music loud and dancing in the car. She is a but too wild. Very hard to make this kind of woman submit to you. She fight all my decisions. Anyways its done now. I learnt from my mistakes too. It was fun to date her but I soon realised this would be her dominating me in the relationship and when I imposed my self she would say I'm insecure. Like for example I like to drive the car, she always fought me on that she wanted to drive. For me a man drives his family period.

I think it was a good decison to end the kids friendship, for my own sake. Don't wanna hear her on the background of thr phone calls all day long and whatever guys she is dating

She has more fvcking redflags than Tiananmen Square on Mao's birthday lmao.

Anyway man, you did the CORRECT thing. Hope you learned valuable lessons from this experience and move on as a better upgraded version of yourself.

PS: Don't fvcking forget to talk to your son about your decision. You took his step sister away from him (at least that's what is perceived by him), so you owe him at least one good explanation. He deserves it. And you know it.

 

[RicBoy]

All of this over a woman? It is a mistake to block or limit communication because of your emotional stupidity. I would say more on this but I don’t feel like it. You’re wrong and you know it.

Maybe wrong but it's the best decison for me and my mental health. Letting kids talk wont help me at all,unless I can deal with hearing her and bf talking all day on the background. Could you handle that? Very unhealthy to say the least

 

[rart]

Wow. You needed to cut her from you life a year ago. How old is your son? Talk to him. Depending on his age he will understand.

I would go further and change your son's number. Blocked numbers can be unblocked.

 

[RicBoy]

Wow. You needed to cut her from you life a year ago. How old is your son? Talk to him. Depending on his age he will understand.

I would go further and change your son's number. Blocked numbers can be unblocked.

He is 10. I blocked numbers and deleted. But ofc he could find a way to unblock it on WhatsApp

 

[rart]

I also have 10 year old son and at this point he can be reasoned with. How come they became such good friends? It is obvious that your ex is using children to hurt you. She is a vengeful c**t.

It is absolutely clear that you need to cut every connection with her. She tried to limit your access to your son for gawd's sake!

 

[RicBoy]

I also have 10 year old son and at this point he can be reasoned with. How come they became such good friends? It is obvious that your ex is using children to hurt you. She is a vengeful c**t.

It is absolutely clear that you need to cut every connection with her. She tried to limit your access to your son for gawd's sake!

Yes she is very vengeful. She went to cry to all corners of the world that I attacked her.
We dated 7 months, traveled etc, kids used to kiss in the mouth as joke too, they were very close. They kept video calling and online games. And when my son visited me (he lived with his mom Abroad) I would drive him to my ex house. 3 months ago he permanently moved in with me and now he was planning to meet my ex and her daughter, phone calling all the time.

I just couldn't deal with it no more. Hearing my ex on the background and one time I heard one guy, it was slowly killing me, setting me months back. So I broke 7 months NC with the msg I wrote on first comment of this thread. And block my ex and her daughter from my son's phone.
All the times a year ago I drove my son to my ex house she gave me the cold shoulder, never came to the doorstep to say hi, I looked like a puppy waiting she would throw me a bone. Very cold.. Never thought she could despise me this much.

Looking back, should have just blocked and send nothing. She also didn't explain me when she dumped me lol

 

[Lookatu]

Thanks for the update as I've followed your previous threads.

But seriously, you need psychological help from a professional because clearly, you are having a hard time letting go and moving on with your life. She has no problem, it's you that does I'm afraid.

Good luck brother

 

[2Rocky]

And this kids is why we:

1) don't get involved with women we work with (especially work FOR)
2) Don't introduce women to our kids until we are sure they are LTR material
3) Don't make women an LTR until we have done a complete Red Flag Survey
4) Don't put ***** ahead of your role as a father long term
5) Let bad relationship dynamics fester.
6) Don't meddle with our kids friendships unless the other kids are a bad influence
7) Read though the OP's posts and DON"T DO what he did...at all!

 

[soulforge]

It's very clear... This bittch was crazy!

Yet you wifed her up.. She should have been nothing but a plate to you who you bang once a while & if you catch yourself feeling something for her, you drop & fukin run!

 

[LiveYourDream]

OP original post/thread started October 26, 2019 with post below. See bolded within it if TL;DR

Need advice!
I was dating a girl for 7 months, all was good, we work together. We met my family this summer, and we were going to meet her family on Xmas.

A month ago, she was going through a lot of stress, work, issues with her daughter, and also semi serious health issues where cancer could have been diagnosed. She wasn't feeling like having as much sex maybe only once or twice a week. Instead of supporting her, I kept pushing for sex every day, tried to see her more often, became a bit insecure and needy and she pulled back 2 weeks or so.
We talked and things went back to normal.
One weekend we were having a great night, dinner, cuddling etc, but she didn't want to have sex and I flipped, we had a massive fight, I screamed, and I pushed her and she took it as violence even tho it wasn't in my mind. She kicked me out of her house and asked me space to think of she wanted to continue.
I kept calling her for 5 days asking for her to come back and didn't give her time to think. On the 6th day I showed up at her place to talk, rang the bell she didn't open. Finally she came outside and told me I couldn't wait and it's all over now.

We work together and I spoke to her 2 days after going over to her house. She said things weren't going good for 1 month as I explained above but pushing her at her house, disrespect her and showing up at her place like a crazy person was the end for her. She claims she has no feelings for me now, that I destroyed them with my actions.

After this talk face to face, I have been in no contact for 2 days. Do I have a chance here? What should I do?

My son is coming to visit me from a broad in 3 weeks and she said he could sleep over her place with her daughter for few nights. I'm guessing we are all four going for lunch at least.
Plan of action?

OP, in 2019 you lost control of yourself and expressed your anger and frustration by getting physical and ‘pushing’ her.

Your demonstrating your inability to control yourself scared her. Understandably so. She however was still hanging in there, but barely. Unfortunately, rather than rebuilding her capacity to once again feel safe with you, you gave her more experiences, of your lack of self/impulse control. Even if she had wanted to, she could no longer be with you, at that point.

If you are unable to control your own impulses, as a physically dominant man, there is NO way she, as a less physically dominant female, can ever truly feel safe and relaxed with you.

It’s a sad story for all involved. Take it and learn from it. Use it to grow.

OP I suggest you choose take your focus off her, to better yourself and better your life. I believe it would serve you more than you would imagine, for you to get meaningful professional help, to reflect upon and grow out of YOUR;

*Inability to control yourself when triggered
*Expressing your anger physically (shoving’ a woman)
*Defaulting to perceiving through the eyes of your own victim mentality
*Lack of true empathy, for each of the others involved
*Seemingly reflexive and/or manipulative temper tantrum responses, when you don’t get life the way you want

This isn’t just about you losing control in 2019, as if it was a singular incident that ruined everything. You have continued to display a lack of impulse control and more. It is time to self reflect deeply if you want true change in your life. The frustration, upset and even heartbreak you experienced and continue to experience will be repeated with others, in some form, until you get the help needed, to truly transform yourself.

In addition, until you can truly shift your perspective from defaulting to a victim mentality, to one of fully empowered self responsibility, true happiness will always remain elusive to you.

You are unaware of what you don’t see and know about yourself and relationships, yet. That is how life is. There will always be those with greater life experience and greater insight than we have had yet. When asked, they can help shine a light forward for us, if we allow. A good guide can help you see what you might not right now. They can help you to grow to new heights. IMHO, the sooner you deeply reflect and also engage meaningful professional help the sooner you can experience life anew.

I truly wish you and your son the best. If you hesitate to engage meaningful help for your self, reconsider doing so you can become an ever greater Father and Man, for your son.

 

[Igetit!]

It's very clear... This bittch was crazy!

She was crazy??? Have you read this guy's threads?

Go have a quick look,then tell me who needs counseling.

 

[TheProspect]

She was crazy??? Have you read this guy's threads?

Go have a quick look,then tell me who needs counseling.

You attract what you are