Is dating about max potential (relationship)

[oc16]

I'm 43, soon to be 44. I'm tall, fit, decent job, educated and about a 7 to 7.5 in looks.

I believe you should only go after and date (for a possible relationship) women that make your heart beat a little faster when you see them or you receive a text from them.

Like most men, I like younger women. I would prefer a woman 7 to 14 years younger.

For example, there is a 39/40 year old woman I am texting with now and she wants to go out. She is a little too skinny for my taste, has kids and she's okay looking.

I think I can do better (e.g, early to mid 30s, hotter, no kids).

I already told her I'm just looking for casual, I don't want to mislead her.

Am I being too picky or closed minded thinking this way?

 

[Barrister]

I'm 43, soon to be 44. I'm tall, fit, decent job, educated and about a 7 to 7.5 in looks.

I believe you should only go after and date (for a possible relationship) women that make your heart beat a little faster when you see them or you receive a text from them.

Like most men, I like younger women. I would prefer a woman 7 to 14 years younger.

For example, there is a 39/40 year old woman I am texting with now and she wants to go out. She is a little too skinny for my taste, has kids and she's okay looking.

I think I can do better (e.g, early to mid 30s, hotter, no kids).

I already told her I'm just looking for casual, I don't want to mislead her.

Am I being too picky or closed minded thinking this way?

In my opinion - no. You should never settle or you ultimately won’t end up being happy. So if you think you can do better then hold out for the right situation. In meantime, seeing other women will only maximize your ability to get the one you want by lessening your desperation. So you should still keep seeing the others.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm 43, soon to be 44. I'm tall, fit, decent job, educated and about a 7 to 7.5 in looks.

I believe you should only go after and date (for a possible relationship) women that make your heart beat a little faster when you see them or you receive a text from them.

Like most men, I like younger women. I would prefer a woman 7 to 14 years younger.

For example, there is a 39/40 year old woman I am texting with now and she wants to go out. She is a little too skinny for my taste, has kids and she's okay looking.

I think I can do better (e.g, early to mid 30s, hotter, no kids).

I already told her I'm just looking for casual, I don't want to mislead her.

Am I being too picky or closed minded thinking this way?

Yes! Part of it is how you feel about her. But the important part is how she feels about YOU.

You need her to feel like that about you.

Plenty of men have ruined their lives with a babe who makes his heart pulse....

 

[oc16]

In my opinion - no. You should never settle or you ultimately won’t end up being happy. So if you think you can do better then hold out for the right situation. In meantime, seeing other women will only maximize your ability to get the one you want by lessening your desperation. So you should still keep seeing the others.

I agree, but if a woman is looking for a relationship right off the bat, I feel bad knowing I don't feel the same way.

 

[Barrister]

I agree, but if a woman is looking for a relationship right off the bat, I feel bad knowing I don't feel the same way.

You have no obligation for that. Not like you have promised anything just by going out or hooking up. I wouldn’t feel bad at all if she has an expectation for a relationship without there being any overt agreement for one.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm 43, soon to be 44. I'm tall, fit, decent job, educated and about a 7 to 7.5 in looks.

I believe you should only go after and date (for a possible relationship) women that make your heart beat a little faster when you see them or you receive a text from them.

Like most men, I like younger women. I would prefer a woman 7 to 14 years younger.

For example, there is a 39/40 year old woman I am texting with now and she wants to go out. She is a little too skinny for my taste, has kids and she's okay looking.

I think I can do better (e.g, early to mid 30s, hotter, no kids).

I already told her I'm just looking for casual, I don't want to mislead her.

Am I being too picky or closed minded thinking this way?

The heart beat thing is for teenagers and young adults (<25). At 44, you should be looking for the best deal. Whomever aligns with your goals in life.

 

[Stoic]

That's good of you OP to not lead them on.

I want to work on being a little more up front with women that I have sex with but dont want them as girlfriends.

Sometimes I know they want more from me, but I just want the sex and maybe a good time hanging out. I dont always overtly tell them that and maybe I should.

 

[CoandaEffect]

Always go for what you want, never settle.

It is important though to keep dating. Don’t become so focused on what you want that you date less often. Dating is like playing the guitar, you can’t just play when you want to, you have to practice often. I’ve been guilty of this in the past, only dated girls I really fancied. That meant I didn’t date much so got out of practice and failed when I did.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Go for what you want but also be realistic about it. At 44 you aren't getting any younger and at some point your ability to pull hot women will start going down. A 36 year old hot woman is going to look at a 50+ guy and feel like she can upgrade most of the time. Keep that in mind for a few years down the road. What works now probably won't work in a few years.

 

[darksprezzatura]

I'm 43, soon to be 44. I'm tall, fit, decent job, educated and about a 7 to 7.5 in looks.

I believe you should only go after and date (for a possible relationship) women that make your heart beat a little faster when you see them or you receive a text from them.

Like most men, I like younger women. I would prefer a woman 7 to 14 years younger.

For example, there is a 39/40 year old woman I am texting with now and she wants to go out. She is a little too skinny for my taste, has kids and she's okay looking.

I think I can do better (e.g, early to mid 30s, hotter, no kids).

I already told her I'm just looking for casual, I don't want to mislead her.

Am I being too picky or closed minded thinking this way?

There's a difference between being honest directly and implying it indirectly.

"I'm looking for sometime casual" triggers anti-slvt defense.

Calibrate.

 

[Visionist]

Don't answer a question about love with "I don't love you, I just like fûcking you".

Then again if she's a slût you might as well admit it.

 

[SW15]

I'm 43, soon to be 44. I'm tall, fit, decent job, educated and about a 7 to 7.5 in looks.

Like most men, I like younger women. I would prefer a woman 7 to 14 years younger.

For example, there is a 39/40 year old woman I am texting with now and she wants to go out. She is a little too skinny for my taste, has kids and she's okay looking.

I think I can do better (e.g, early to mid 30s, hotter, no kids).

I already told her I'm just looking for casual, I don't want to mislead her.

Am I being too picky or closed minded thinking this way?

I can understand passing on a 39/30 year old woman because she has kids. Okay looking is not enough.

You can go 5-7 years younger, but 8-14 might be more difficult to achieve. This is even more true if you're using swipe apps where men commonly date down by more than other means of meeting.

If you're childless, you're well within your rights to demand a childless woman.

 

[RickTheToad]

In my opinion - no. You should never settle or you ultimately won’t end up being happy. So if you think you can do better then hold out for the right situation. In meantime, seeing other women will only maximize your ability to get the one you want by lessening your desperation. So you should still keep seeing the others.

We all settle dude. If not, we're just like the females who wait until forever for the right dude; which never comes. I want Margot Robbie, but that's not going to happen. Thus, the female I go for would have to be less or me settling for something other than Margot Robbie.

 

[oc16]

Go for what you want. The boner doesn't lie. (That's what causes the heart to flutter, after all. I'm such a romantic.)

I'm about to turn 45 and I'm seeing a 28 year old who's super cool and checks most of the boxes for me. Of course I always think there are more out there to slay. Only worried about today though, if that makes sense.

Good for you, my One friend was 49 and seeing a 29 year old. It didn't last, but he dated her for 4 to 5 months.

 

[Barrister]

We all settle dude. If not, we're just like the females who wait until forever for the right dude; which never comes. I want Margot Robbie, but that's not going to happen. Thus, the female I go for would have to be less or me settling for something other than Margot Robbie.

There is a difference between not settling vs. having unrealistic expectations. You’re referencing an unrealistic expectation to be dating Margot Robbie. There is a clear dichotomy.

 

[Lookatu]

Going on close to 44, you have every right to be picky. You can't reverse or slow down time so be as picky and ruthless about it as you can. Time is the most valuable to you so don't waste it on so so girls. Because time you waste on someone you're not totally into will make you lose opportunity costs with someone else.

I don't care what anyone else says, you got a limited shelf life to be the most marketable. Use your time wisely.

 

[andreihaha]

Don't answer a question about love with "I don't love you, I just like fûcking you".

Then again if she's a slût you might as well admit it.

I actually believe that telling her that is the thing to go.
It's best for her and also for him. Why be with someone who wants something/someone else? You both can do better. Don't settle for "ok".

 

[Kotaix]

Stay the hell away from single mothers. They are a HUGE liability. You are entirely in your right to demand that a woman be childless if you are yourself childless.

 

[RickTheToad]

There is a difference between not settling vs. having unrealistic expectations. You’re referencing an unrealistic expectation to be dating Margot Robbie. There is a clear dichotomy.

Tomato vs tomoto. Point being, since we do not run in the same circle and I'm not a high value dude in the entertainment industry, this wouldn't be feasible. However, just because a dude or a female thinks they are a 9, 10, 2 billion, whatever; doesn't mean that is what they really are. The marketplace, such as the stock market, sets the value, not the individual person.

 

[Barrister]

Tomato vs tomoto. Point being, since we do not run in the same circle and I'm not a high value dude in the entertainment industry, this wouldn't be feasible. However, just because a dude or a female thinks they are a 9, 10, 2 billion, whatever; doesn't mean that is what they really are. The marketplace, such as the stock market, sets the value, not the individual person.

I understand what you’re saying and I actually agree with what you said here. But you can still “settle” even within your own ability to pull women. This will lead to unhappiness. Not because you didn’t get that super model or Grade A actress you fantasized about.