The Final Word on Looks

[darksprezzatura]

Ugly dudes who approach get more lays than good looking dudes who don't.

When I was fat, I still got laid cuz I approached more.

Now that I'm muscular and fit, I won't get laid as often if I don't approach.

I hope that a few guys here and maybe hundreds of our multiple thousands of regular lurkers are rethinking the PARALYSIS of feeling they are ugly or plain.

It’s funny how in nature, usually the male of the species is the beautiful one. Bright colors, grandiose plumes of feathers, beautiful manes, the list goes on.

But in humans, it’s the direct opposite. The female is visually appealing just as the male is in the animal kingdom.

This means that the male of our species is not expected to look beautiful. We are expected to look trim, confident, strong, and weathered. Let that sink in before you reject the notion. Women love a rough, weathered look. Women love scars. Men are chiefly attractive by projecting ACTION and bold, manly activity. That’s not the stuff of “pretty boys”.

Beauty is expected of women, and that beauty always has femininity attached to it. I observe that women’s perception of beauty in men is largely based upon the STORY of ACTION that his body and his eyes tell.

This is less true of very young girls and especially party girls who are highly influenced by the media. You guys can have the bar skanks and party girls. If that’s your world, I can tell you right now that you live a life of dissipation.

However, real, authentic women of substance tend to get turned on by what I just described; Men whose entire persona projects action and some wear and tear. An aura of self-respect seems to be vital to attraction for women. That’s where clothing, grooming and presentation come in.

Your greatest asset is probably your eyes. When you look a woman in the eyesand don’t look away, you have just bumped your score by two to three points. 98% of men look away or down.

Women’s perception of attractiveness is so malleable and so complex and subjective, that we men can’t even comprehend it.

Men are all about PROJECTION. We shoot guns. We project power. We like to spit. We obviously anatomically have sexual organs that project out. We love urinating outdoors. Men shoot forth sexually and in every other way.

How many men know that the eyes project power or timidity to women?

Bottom line: If you consider yourself ugly or average because of your looks, you are paralyzed. You can easily unparalyze yourself by learning how to project forward a bold attitude.

Summary of how to solve your problem:
1) Make yourself reasonably fit. Fat is your biggest enemy and is reallythe only objective metric.
2) Dress to convey self-respect
3) Maintain good hygiene
4) Wear neat, clean shoes
5) Project confidence and superiority with your eyes. You should feel superior to EVERY woman, not in worth but rather in knowledge, moral fiber, and unshakable character. You are a man. You have authority. A woman can ONLY submit to a man she feels is superior.

PROJECT, PROJECT, PROJECT. Thrust your entire being forth into the world. Provide amusement and fun for yourself first and for everyone around you secondarily.

Such a man is seen as extremely attractive. Women are easily influenced to perceive you as much, much more than your objective looks.

THRUST and penetrate into your world. Yeah, you know what I’m saying here, pal!

Posts like these make me happy to login when I can

 

[darksprezzatura]

The corollary to that would be ugly dudes who don't approach claim their looks are holding them back.

Being fat lowers testosterone and vice versa.

It's no wonder fat guys don't approach as often.

Some call it insecurity/low confidence, I call low T.

It was definitely tougher for me to approach when I was fat.

This is one reason getting in shape is promoted.

 

[DreamAgain]

As a forum veteran, I expected more from OP.

Everything I have seen indicates that looks are everything, followed by social status, i.e. money which goes hand in hand.

I have seen so many witty, genuinely funny and interesting guys fail over and over again with women, and braindead better looking ones that can literally only speak 2 consecutive sentences of coherent thoughts have women throw themselves at them.

The OP's monologue is all theory and does not correspond with the contemporary status of today's youth. I don't know how old he is, but I can assume he is not dating girls in the 18-24 range.

These guys were not bad looking by any means. They work out and dress well, maximize themselves somewhat. But you can only do so much to overcome genetics, i.e. bad height, frame, face, whatever.

 

[DreamAgain]

And before someone chimes in, well those young girls are only party girls and bar skanks, lol man, 18 - 24 is a woman's prime and if you are not bagging them here, you are getting someone's leftovers. That may sound quite pessimistic but it's the truth.

A separate discussion is the deterioration of society and culture in general.

 

[Bigpapa]

As a forum veteran, I expected more from OP.

Everything I have seen indicates that looks are everything, followed by social status, i.e. money which goes hand in hand.

I have seen so many witty, genuinely funny and interesting guys fail over and over again with women, and braindead better looking ones that can literally only speak 2 consecutive sentences of coherent thoughts have women throw themselves at them.

The OP's monologue is all theory and does not correspond with the contemporary status of today's youth. I don't know how old he is, but I can assume he is not dating girls in the 18-24 range.

Depends on the context and on the girl

but for sure if you do not have the looks you will have to compensate for it . It goes the same way for women too

why do you think that most of the career women are quite ugly on average ? It is because they are trying to compensate their lack of beauty with money , and most of them that reached somehow a level of success and have some money will be sugar mommies . The rest either will settle for a guy at the same level or lower , either will Be the crazy cat woman

 

[DreamAgain]

Depends on the context and on the girl

but for sure if you do not have the looks you will have to compensate for it . It goes the same way for women too

why do you think that most of the career women are quite ugly on average ? It is because they are trying to compensate their lack of beauty with money , and most of them that reached somehow a level of success and have some money will be sugar mommies . The rest either will settle for a guy at the same level or lower , either will Be the crazy cat woman

I don't even care too much about looks anymore personally. I've sat through enough boring "dates" with airheads that thought flowers bloomed everywhere they walked past.

It was only when I started hanging out with more interesting people, people who actually accomplished things and had interesting life experiences, that I realized the error of my ways and had to unplug myself from a lot of contemporary information streams trying to tell my looks were everything.

Social media. Consumer advertising. Our education system. The way our cities are organized and constructed. The socially acceptable topics of discourse.

Everything is geared towards external appearances. Of how you look and the stuff you have, the pictures you have representing the stuff you have, whatever.

Now when I talk to a girl (this is very rare unfortunately) who is very witty, charming, knows how to keep my mind guessing and makes me strive to be a better version of myself to keep her interested, my interest level goes through the roof!

 

[Bigpapa]

I don't even care too much about looks anymore personally. I've sat through enough boring "dates" with airheads that thought flowers bloomed everywhere they walked past.

It was only when I started hanging out with more interesting people, people who actually accomplished things and had interesting life experiences, that I realized the error of my ways and had to unplug myself from a lot of contemporary information streams trying to tell my looks were everything.

Social media. Consumer advertising. Our education system. The way our cities are organized and constructed. The socially acceptable topics of discourse.

Everything is geared towards external appearances. Of how you look and the stuff you have, the pictures you have representing the stuff you have, whatever.

Now when I talk to a girl (this is very rare unfortunately) who is very witty, charming, knows how to keep my mind guessing and makes me strive to be a better version of myself to keep her interested, my interest level goes through the roof!

yeah , I also like this girls , but they are not that many roaming around

and if indeed I find one usually I am not attracted to her and friend zone her

i Confess , I am quite shallow from this point of view

 

[Lookatu]

why do you think that most of the career women are quite ugly on average ? It is because they are trying to compensate their lack of beauty with money

"It is because they are trying to compensate their lack of beauty with ..."
The same can be said for plumpers that give great BJ's...

 

[Atom Smasher]

As a forum veteran, I expected more from OP.

Everything I have seen indicates that looks are everything, followed by social status, i.e. money which goes hand in hand.

I have seen so many witty, genuinely funny and interesting guys fail over and over again with women, and braindead better looking ones that can literally only speak 2 consecutive sentences of coherent thoughts have women throw themselves at them.

The OP's monologue is all theory and does not correspond with the contemporary status of today's youth. I don't know how old he is, but I can assume he is not dating girls in the 18-24 range.

These guys were not bad looking by any means. They work out and dress well, maximize themselves somewhat. But you can only do so much to overcome genetics, i.e. bad height, frame, face, whatever.

"Everything I have seen indicates..."

The precise point of my thread is to open some of you guys' eyes to perceive that everything you have seen is a limited (by age and little experience) view of the actual reality that a more seasoned, experienced man like myself sees and leverages to his advantage. You are one of the ones who cannot yet see it.

You have seen many "witty, genuinely funny and interesting" guys fail with women. That's because they are that way according to your own sensibilites, not to women's. I assure you, they project absolutely no wit and no humor, and elicit no interest from women. They have no idea how to give women the necessary tingles. Their wit, humor, and way of talking falls on deaf ears when it comes to the opposite sex. This should be obvious as you say they are good-looking.

Most of my writings are not geared to todays youth at all, but rather to men who are emerging from the simplicity of youth to deeper, more nuanced truths. To such young men, my offerings are noise and cannot take hold in any way.

Even though I'm only 25, I have hung out with enough older men to have picked up on these deeper truths.

Personally I despise meaningless, pie in the sky theory. I'm a man of nuts and bolts. I do what works in real life. I've turned myself from an absolute, miserable loser with women to a man who has zero concerns about attraction. Those problems are long-gone because I've learned to recognize and leverage how the game works.

The nutshell of this thread is that when a man maximizes his looks, he can cross that off as a barrier to entry and can hone his interpersonal skills with women to great effect and enjoy a life of abundance, whereas before he thought himself universally rejected solely on looks. Of course there is also the practical point that once one has done what he can, it is pointless and self-defeating to ruminate over deficiencies. Women can most definitely sense when a man owns exactly the way he is. This means a lot to them because women always have at least one thing (and usually several things) about themselves that they hate and they recognize and admire when a man is comfortable in his own skin regardless of deficiencies.

Men, here's an incredibly important maxim: Women believe about you exactly what you believe about yourself. They pick up on your self-perception and they adapt that as objective truth. Remember what I said up above: Projection is everything. Your projection of self-respect overrides her subjective opinion based on looks. If a man speaks in a way that gives her excitement, her brain will assign a MUCH higher looks rating. Her brain will suppress traits that would normally bother her and will simultaneously amplify his good traits.

This is no pie in the sky theory, pal. This is what turned my life around with women and eventually scored me a woman with stunningly good looks and a quality character to match. Zero drama, zero tests. One might say I hit the lottery. I say I took the hammer and chisel to myself and relentlessly and painfully chipped away to forge a decent, desirable man out of a total confused loser.

 

[Lookatu]

view of the actual reality that a more seasoned, experienced man like myself sees and leverages to his advantage.

Even though I'm only 25, I have hung out with enough older men to have picked up on these deeper truths.

So you're 25 and not 63? I'm confused...

 

[DreamAgain]

@Atom Smasher I see you are well intentioned, but your words are simply anachronistic and unfortunately not applicable with today's youth.

It is easy to say what should be done from the sidelines. But if you aren't in the game, this is just pontificating for the sake of taking a mental exercise to some desired conclusion.

If your post was written to attempt to help young guys, maybe in college or just graduating, it will unfortunately be counter productive advice.

Take Atom Smasher's advice if you want to hunt for unicorn women that are wife material. You will likely end up disappointed and alone. Atom Smasher got lucky with his personal outcome but he didn't grow up in the digital age, and mistook correlation with causation.

My advice to them, as a guy in my mid to late twenties so I still consider myself in that bracket, would be:

Take my advice if you want to hook up with 99% of the women out there:

Maximize your physique and physical appearance, get surgery if necessary.
Maximize your social media and real world "cache", via doing whatever is popular at the time. If you are not perceived as socially popular, you can be a genius with a PhD in astrophysics, you can be a pro athlete, you will simply be unattractive to 99% of women.
Maximize your money and flaunt it. That doesn't mean necessarily wearing expensive clothes, driving expensive cars, etc. That means posting pictures of vacations. That means having an "idler" deameanor, as a wealthy man your time is plentiful as you aren't bogged down with the rat race, getting your piece of code to compile before midnight so you have positive news to deliver at your daily scrum the next day..

I am embellishing the percentage here intentionally but the point still stands.

 

[Atom Smasher]

@Atom Smasher I see you are well intentioned, but your words are simply anachronistic and unfortunately not applicable with today's youth.

It is easy to say what should be done from the sidelines. But if you aren't in the game, this is just pontificating for the sake of taking a mental exercise to some desired conclusion.

If your post was written to attempt to help young guys, maybe in college or just graduating, it will unfortunately be counter productive advice.

My poor, poor @DreamAgain ...

Let me help you a bit with your reading comprehension LOL. Here's what I just wrote:
"Most of my writings are not geared to todays youth at all, but rather to men who are emerging from the simplicity of youth to deeper, more nuanced truths. To such young men, my offerings are noise and cannot take hold in any way."

I sense that you pretty much exist within a narrow field of "certainty" that your experience level is all there is. There is absolutely no way for you to comprehend what I'm saying here.

I'm pretty sure the guys here know me as someone who took the principles taught here, applied them, and became hugely successful with women. I pretty much described the practical application of these principles in my life up above, as well as in many of my other writings.

You are in a state where you are compelled to view things within your narrow range of experience, so we should agree to disagree. I don't mean any ill-will, as when I was 30, I knew everything, too. I get it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

So you're 25 and not 63? I'm confused...

63

 

[DreamAgain]

My poor, poor @DreamAgain ...

Let me help you a bit with your reading comprehension LOL. Here's what I just wrote:
"Most of my writings are not geared to todays youth at all, but rather to men who are emerging from the simplicity of youth to deeper, more nuanced truths. To such young men, my offerings are noise and cannot take hold in any way."

I sense that you pretty much exist within a narrow field of "certainty" that your experience level is all there is. There is absolutely no way for you to comprehend what I'm saying here.

I'm pretty sure the guys here know me as someone who took the principles taught here, applied them, and became hugely successful with women. I pretty much described the practical application of these principles in my life up above, as well as in many of my other writings.

You are in a state where you are compelled to view things within your narrow range of experience, so we should agree to disagree. I don't mean any ill-will, as when I was 30, I knew everything, too. I get it.

Fair point, I missed that! My reading comprehension indeed does need work!

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

Here’s what I’ve learned about looks. They matter. However, the average looking girl might not consider you attractive or “her type” at all and friendzone you, whereas the girl who’s a 8 or 9 thinks you are CUTE and exactly her type. I’ve had that exact thing happen to me. Friendzoned hard and made a fool of by a girl who’s a 6 on her best day, made me feel like I was the ugliest dude on earth. Then I met 3 girls consecutively that were WAY above her looks wise and I was their type all the way.

glad to hear it man that's good

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Here’s what I’ve learned about looks. They matter. However, the average looking girl might not consider you attractive or “her type” at all and friendzone you, whereas the girl who’s a 8 or 9 thinks you are CUTE and exactly her type. I’ve had that exact thing happen to me. Friendzoned hard and made a fool of by a girl who’s a 6 on her best day, made me feel like I was the ugliest dude on earth. Then I met 3 girls consecutively that were WAY above her looks wise and I was their type all the way.

So let me guess your confidence was flattened with her and was juiced up by the others. Then you looked at her differently.

 

[AlphaDraconis]

Research has constantly shown the same thing over and over.

The less a woman has spent time interacting with you and getting to know you, the more looks matter since that is really all she knows about you at that point.

This is why guys who are not great looking can end up with hot chicks...because they might be in the same social circle and they have gotten to know them and become comfortable with them and they find other things attractive about them.

At one time this was true, but due to so much choice on social media / dating apps, etc, these average looking guys get friendzoned or - more aptly - put in her simp category. Chad’s are her eff boys; the average looking guys are her butlers, chauffeurs,counsellors, human ATM’s, maintenance men, comedians, etc, etc.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

At one time this was true, but due to so much choice on social media / dating apps, etc, these average looking guys get friendzoned or - more aptly - put in her simp category. Chad’s are her eff boys; the average looking guys are her butlers, chauffeurs,counsellors, human ATM’s, maintenance men, comedians, etc, etc.

Sorry, but my experiences are not similar.

 

[Robert28]

So let me guess your confidence was flattened with her and was juiced up by the others. Then you looked at her differently.

Absolutely. It’s funny how that happened. Once I started looking at her differently she started to look at ME differently I think.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Absolutely. It’s funny how that happened. Once I started looking at her differently she started to look at ME differently I think.

Then she could finally see you as a attractive dude?