She was chasing me, then stopped...

[Blacksheep]

Something very strange has happened these days. I was going out with a woman from another city, she came by bus to my city to meet me (she paid the first two times).

Basically it was just casual sex, she came to my house and we had sex (always with a condom + tadalafil which made me had a very good performance). And she seemed to like that a lot.

Last week she started to demand more of my attention and I started to ignore it. There was a day when she called me several times and I just ignored it. Then I told her I was busy and would call as soon as I could. But I always talked with her normally... without talking all the time.

After she got tired of insisting she sent me a message saying: "The next time I go there, you pay for bus tickets." I said ok, after all she had already come twice, and she had paid for the tickets.

Okay, last Wednesday she called me in the morning saying she was coming to my city out of nowhere. I picked her up at the bus station, we came home and had great sex. I realized that she wanted to have sex without a condom, but I didn't fall for it. The most that happened was leaning against her vagina before sex.

I made lunch for us, ate and lay down. From there she got weird and after a while I took her to the bus station and she left (gave her the money for those tickets). I already saw that she become cold, which was super sudden.

Then she disappeared and didn't look for me anymore. I was worried and today I called her asking if everything was okay. She said yes and hung up without saying goodbye.

I met her in an app called Bumble ... similar to Tinder.

Anyway, my guess is that she lost interest. But it was very strange. As if the person suddenly changed his mood and personality.

I personally don't care with that, cause I already have another new plate to meet. But the way it happened was very weird. Maybe she just spinned her plates too haha

I would like feedback from you.

 

[christie]

Hi Blacksheep, congrats on dating more, you were smart to keep using condom protection.

My instinct is that she wants attention, or she wants the risk of no condom/potential baby, or she wants to get you used to paying for things like bus tickets(betabucks conversion)............................... ...basically, she just wants to see what she can get from you.

I don't know why women default to this using of men.

Maybe she needs you to firmly state boundaries and follow through with consequences if she doesn't comply(silence and distance)

But then she's kind of doing the s & d with you.

I don't know. Power struggle for sure.

Maybe try being more bossy in every communication and in person next time?

 

[Blacksheep]

Hi Blacksheep, congrats on dating more, you were smart to keep using condom protection.

My instinct is that she wants attention, or she wants the risk of no condom/potential baby, or she wants to get you used to paying for things like bus tickets(betabucks conversion)............................... ...basically, she just wants to see what she can get from you.

I don't know why women default to this using of men.

Maybe she needs you to firmly state boundaries and follow through with consequences if she doesn't comply(silence and distance)

But then she's kind of doing the s & d with you.

I don't know. Power struggle for sure.

Maybe try being more bossy in every communication and in person next time?

Hey my friend! Thanks for your feedback!

Yeah... Just after I called her today, she sent me a message and tried to call me. LOL

I'm sure this is some kind of game. And those topics you said make a lot of sense.

What do you mean about being more bossy?

 

[christie]

Hey my friend! Thanks for your feedback!

Yeah... Just after I called her today, she sent me a message and tried to call me. LOL

I'm sure this is some kind of game. And those topics you said make a lot of sense.

What do you mean about being more bossy?

Bossy?

I'll try to think of an example.

Instead of saying "Can you please take the 15:00 bus and I'll come pick you up when you text me from the station?"

say " I want you here by 17:00 next Saturday, get your Uber driver from the bus station to take you to the store to get us something for you to cook for us when you get here. I'll be listening for the doorbell. Don't be a minute late."

This is how I see bossy. Its what you're supposed to do. And she is supposed to comply, no talkback or negotiating.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Something very strange has happened these days. I was going out with a woman from another city, she came by bus to my city to meet me (she paid the first two times).

Basically it was just casual sex, she came to my house and we had sex (always with a condom + tadalafil which made me had a very good performance). And she seemed to like that a lot.

Last week she started to demand more of my attention and I started to ignore it. There was a day when she called me several times and I just ignored it. Then I told her I was busy and would call as soon as I could. But I always talked with her normally... without talking all the time.

After she got tired of insisting she sent me a message saying: "The next time I go there, you pay for bus tickets." I said ok, after all she had already come twice, and she had paid for the tickets.

Okay, last Wednesday she called me in the morning saying she was coming to my city out of nowhere. I picked her up at the bus station, we came home and had great sex. I realized that she wanted to have sex without a condom, but I didn't fall for it. The most that happened was leaning against her vagina before sex.

I made lunch for us, ate and lay down. From there she got weird and after a while I took her to the bus station and she left (gave her the money for those tickets). I already saw that she become cold, which was super sudden.

Then she disappeared and didn't look for me anymore. I was worried and today I called her asking if everything was okay. She said yes and hung up without saying goodbye.

I met her in an app called Bumble ... similar to Tinder.

Anyway, my guess is that she lost interest. But it was very strange. As if the person suddenly changed his mood and personality.

I personally don't care with that, cause I already have another new plate to meet. But the way it happened was very weird. Maybe she just spinned her plates too haha

I would like feedback from you.

Signs she wanted more than you were willing to give. Nothing wrong on either side, just two people with different end goals.

I think in the end you may have been making her feel like a cheap slut and that isn't what she wanted to feel.

 

[Bigpapa]

Something very strange has happened these days. I was going out with a woman from another city, she came by bus to my city to meet me (she paid the first two times).

Basically it was just casual sex, she came to my house and we had sex (always with a condom + tadalafil which made me had a very good performance). And she seemed to like that a lot.

Last week she started to demand more of my attention and I started to ignore it. There was a day when she called me several times and I just ignored it. Then I told her I was busy and would call as soon as I could. But I always talked with her normally... without talking all the time.

After she got tired of insisting she sent me a message saying: "The next time I go there, you pay for bus tickets." I said ok, after all she had already come twice, and she had paid for the tickets.

Okay, last Wednesday she called me in the morning saying she was coming to my city out of nowhere. I picked her up at the bus station, we came home and had great sex. I realized that she wanted to have sex without a condom, but I didn't fall for it. The most that happened was leaning against her vagina before sex.

I made lunch for us, ate and lay down. From there she got weird and after a while I took her to the bus station and she left (gave her the money for those tickets). I already saw that she become cold, which was super sudden.

Then she disappeared and didn't look for me anymore. I was worried and today I called her asking if everything was okay. She said yes and hung up without saying goodbye.

I met her in an app called Bumble ... similar to Tinder.

Anyway, my guess is that she lost interest. But it was very strange. As if the person suddenly changed his mood and personality.

I personally don't care with that, cause I already have another new plate to meet. But the way it happened was very weird. Maybe she just spinned her plates too haha

I would like feedback from you.

she just wanted more , and it was very difficult for her to continue this since she had to put all the effort by taking the buss etc

 

[Kotaix]

Women have a primal desire for unprotected sex. It's instinctive and almost beyond their control. This is why there are so many single moms.

You're smart to use condoms, but damn do they take the fun out of sex.

 

[Blacksheep]

Bossy?

I'll try to think of an example.

Instead of saying "Can you please take the 15:00 bus and I'll come pick you up when you text me from the station?"

say " I want you here by 17:00 next Saturday, get your Uber driver from the bus station to take you to the store to get us something for you to cook for us when you get here. I'll be listening for the doorbell. Don't be a minute late."

This is how I see bossy. Its what you're supposed to do. And she is supposed to comply, no talkback or negotiating.

Gonna try to do this and see how it works. Have some other plates I'm planning to date... So gonna try this!

 

[Blacksheep]

Signs she wanted more than you were willing to give. Nothing wrong on either side, just two people with different end goals.

I think in the end you may have been making her feel like a cheap slut and that isn't what she wanted to feel.

Thats true man.

But she actually say that she prefer something casual... cause we live in different cities and I said to her it was ok for me. That I was not looking to anything serious in the moment.

But maybe she was testing me with this thing.

 

[Blacksheep]

she just wanted more , and it was very difficult for her to continue this since she had to put all the effort by taking the buss etc

With more you mean a relationship?

 

[Blacksheep]

Women have a primal desire for unprotected sex. It's instinctive and almost beyond their control. This is why there are so many single moms.

You're smart to use condoms, but damn do they take the fun out of sex.

I think it happens to men too... Using condoms really take the fun out of sex. With tadalafil I can feel pleasure, but without it I only feel pleasure without condoms. But then there is the risk right.

That is the part where having one exclusive partner is a good thing... and a difficult to find too.

 

[Blacksheep]

I'm not convinced it will help to know why she stopped chasing.

The more women you chase, and the more DJ lifestyle you adopt, the more women will come and go without explanation. I strongly advise to stop trying to understand why. Waste of your time in my opinion.

Thats true man!

Its something that understanding or not, that wont change my life.

Today for example, she just sent me a message... I'm sure she was testing me if I would get into that game.

 

[flowtheory]

She’s trying to get you to chase her, rather than her chase you. It’s a power move when women do this. But it’s also them being attracted. She’s trying to gain control and certainty, rather than anxious and uncertain

Just keep being how you were. She’s testing you to see if what you put forth is true. Evidently there are some cracks if you’re getting slightly worked up over this..

 

[Bigpapa]

With more you mean a relationship?

yep , and you kept only for banging .

women are ok with this at the beginning , but then they will start over analyze and will push for more .

in your case it can be just you coming to your place or picking her up with your car and drive her to your place .

or a proper date before going home

Basically she wants steps that are going to lead towards a relationship eventually

 

[Suave88]

Something very strange has happened these days. I was going out with a woman from another city, she came by bus to my city to meet me (she paid the first two times).

Basically it was just casual sex, she came to my house and we had sex (always with a condom + tadalafil which made me had a very good performance). And she seemed to like that a lot.

Last week she started to demand more of my attention and I started to ignore it. There was a day when she called me several times and I just ignored it. Then I told her I was busy and would call as soon as I could. But I always talked with her normally... without talking all the time.

After she got tired of insisting she sent me a message saying: "The next time I go there, you pay for bus tickets." I said ok, after all she had already come twice, and she had paid for the tickets.

Okay, last Wednesday she called me in the morning saying she was coming to my city out of nowhere. I picked her up at the bus station, we came home and had great sex. I realized that she wanted to have sex without a condom, but I didn't fall for it. The most that happened was leaning against her vagina before sex.

I made lunch for us, ate and lay down. From there she got weird and after a while I took her to the bus station and she left (gave her the money for those tickets). I already saw that she become cold, which was super sudden.

Then she disappeared and didn't look for me anymore. I was worried and today I called her asking if everything was okay. She said yes and hung up without saying goodbye.

I met her in an app called Bumble ... similar to Tinder.

Anyway, my guess is that she lost interest. But it was very strange. As if the person suddenly changed his mood and personality.

I personally don't care with that, cause I already have another new plate to meet. But the way it happened was very weird. Maybe she just spinned her plates too haha

I would like feedback from you.

When did you start dating/ fvcking/gropping her??

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

She feels she is much more invested than you are and that you are unwilling to match her investment. She pays, invests the time to travel to you, and you are mostly just sexing her and not much else.

It’s very out of balance from her perspective. So she doesn’t see a willingness in you to invest so she’s pulling back hard.

How interested are you in seeing her? Willing enough to step it up?

If not? Oh well. Shjt happens.

 

[derby1]

Op im going to be straight up, I think you handled this in a grade A arsehole way. I know your not like that from your time on the forum.

if a dime does this to you, you will be back on here asking what went wrong.

 

[Blacksheep]

Op im going to be straight up, I think you handled this in a grade A arsehole way. I know your not like that from your time on the forum.

if a dime does this to you, you will be back on here asking what went wrong.

We talked about that, and she was clear to me: she didnt want anything serious... Just casual. The same for me. As we get this clear we keep meeting and having sex.

Both of us agreed that this was better.

And all the time I offered her to pay the bus ticket, but she refused. But besides that when she went here, I always bought some drinks and food for the time we were together.

For me its clear that she was sh1t testing me about this casual stuff... Cause after that she started to ask more for attention... And hey, she wanted that almost all the time during the day.

And I didnt get your point. What was wrong with me coming here to ask that?

 

[Blacksheep]

Advice from the old lady:

She feels she is much more invested than you are and that you are unwilling to match her investment. She pays, invests the time to travel to you, and you are mostly just sexing her and not much else.

It’s very out of balance from her perspective. So she doesn’t see a willingness in you to invest so she’s pulling back hard.

How interested are you in seeing her? Willing enough to step it up?

If not? Oh well. Shjt happens.

That could be true if we didnt agree to be only a casual thing.

Also I always offered to pay for her bus ticket. I told her that meeting here would be better and I didnt care to pay those tickets and help her.

Maybe I didnt explain this story better. But probably she said that she didnt want anything serious to see how I would react. Maybe I would chase and say I wanted something serious... But I said that for me was ok and I didnt want a LTR for now.

 

[Blacksheep]

She’s trying to get you to chase her, rather than her chase you. It’s a power move when women do this. But it’s also them being attracted. She’s trying to gain control and certainty, rather than anxious and uncertain

Just keep being how you were. She’s testing you to see if what you put forth is true. Evidently there are some cracks if you’re getting slightly worked up over this..

Yeah... It started with this talk of nothing serious... But I think she was not being honest with that and was testing my behavior.

So, as it doesnt work... She changed.

She texted me those days, but Im not up to play those games... So just next.