Chaos Theory ( some call it Star Theory) is something I have strongly supported as a dual theory to Hypergamy. Both are valid. This is even more evidence.
I have a female associate who told me that she is turned off by "attractive guys". We were ranking attractive coworkers. She said she friendzones them. She said she will go for the unassuming non traditionally good looking dude.
This is confirmed by seeing her bf. I also know for a fact that she does indeed reject the advances of the cool handsome guys at work.
I ask her why? Her answer was predictably fuzzy. She did not really know. She just said something along the lines of " everyone wants him blah blah".
This is a pattern i have noticed with many women. They gravitate towards the guys that are below them. They need to be the Star in the relationship. The reason chicks pick or dont pick is pure chaos. I try not to take it too personally. For most girls I dont.
MOST IMPORTANTLY:
I asked her why girls ghost after sex. She told me that her besties ghosts men on purpose in order to hurt them. Apparently she was hurt by a guy and now does ghosting as a dominance play. She does it especially to hot guys to mess with their head. Pure chaos man. Evil
They are agents of chaos.
I see two issues here:
1) All women have some inherent level of insecurity that never gets better as they get older. In contrast, men's insecurity improves over time as we address our weaknesses in life and learn to ignore the things that we can't change. Women can try to do the same thing, but they never really feel it the way that a man does.
2) Women are more realistic with relationships than most guys realize. They have an inherent ability to quickly categorize a guy as player or provider (on a spectrum, not absolute) and decide if they can work with the guy.
So, my guess is that your friend has lower self-esteem (which she may be able to hide very well) while she has a somewhat realistic view about her chances for a worthwhile relationship with certain men.
With regards to chicks ghosting, it's not a vindictive thing. Women auto-reject when they don't see a reasonable chance of things working. They might sleep with a guy once or twice just to get him out of their system (they suffer from the same "what if" regrets that guys do). Then, they'll ghost him because they don't want to try to "logically" explain something that they feel a guy should inherently understand.
As a guy, you need to figure out what her perception of you is relative to her. If she acts like she's nervous about offending you, it's an obvious sign that she thinks very-highly of you. You should be building her confidence and bringing her up to your level.
I read so many posts on this board and others about women being random, vindictive, agents of chaos, etc. I really don't buy any of it. Women are very shrewd about relationships. As a guy, you should always try to understand what's in it for her by assessing where she is in life and where she's going (which can change even on a short-term basis or when they're on vacation). A single-mom looking for some help has completely different goals than a recently-divorced 40ish woman who is in her "fear of missing out phase".
