Did I freak my secretary out?

[coyote_astro]

Man, it's obvious you have oneitis about her. No judging, we've all been there, and I know the feeling!
You should move the f**ck on!

 

[Glassguy]

Im ready for "this one girl season 12". I love that show!

Come on Gambino. Wake up. Are you just trying to find someone who agrees with your fantasy about this chick? The census is you need to MOVE ON!

 

[bat soup]

why do you think that? after everything you read. I really appreciate it if you give the arguments..

If she was interested it would be easy and you wouldn't need to ask for help on here.

 

[xplt]

I know but why does she ask me what I’m doing every evening and when I’m off ? Why does she ask me if there are girls around ? Why does she hold eye contact for 30/40 seconds flirting fvcking with eyes for weeks.. Why does she ask me about my dating life and if I’m religious and all that when we were together, more personal questions. She broke up with that guy her ex, she told my colleague two weeks ago but didn’t tell me about it.

I have a coworker who plays the same games on and off for 1,5 years now. She never gets tired of the eye****ing game. If I don't give her attention, she even goes mad and ignores me for days. When I gave in a few times, she started playing hot and cold. In 1,5 years nothing ever happened between us, despite her initiating every single flirt, so I stopped interacting with her in nonbusiness situations.

Just withdraw your attention and search for a woman worth your time. If her actions are this confusing, she has no intention to get further with you.

 

[jimwho]

You should slowly steadily step back and keep a good attitude. Try to back out of this mess before you get burned.

 

[bat soup]

I like this thread because it's a good example of what NOT to do. Plenty of teachable examples:

- Don't take a long time to make a move (find out quickly if there is real interest)
- Don't give your time and attention to women that are not reciprocating
- Don't get emotionally involved with women that haven't proven their interest
- Always have other options

The best thing would have been to invite this girl out for a drink a long time ago and if she said no, forget about her. I bet that she's going home and complaining to everyone that listens about her bosses' behaviour and they're already giving her advice about the best way to ruin his life.

 

[TheGambino]

I like this thread because it's a good example of what NOT to do. Plenty of teachable examples:

- Don't take a long time to make a move (find out quickly if there is real interest)
- Don't give your time and attention to women that are not reciprocating
- Don't get emotionally involved with women that haven't proven their interest
- Always have other options

The best thing would have been to invite this girl out for a drink a long time ago and if she said no, forget about her. I bet that she's going home and complaining to everyone that listens about her bosses' behaviour and they're already giving her advice about the best way to ruin his life.

Yes and that might be what she’s doing with saying she got an encounter with a guy with corona and staying home to figure out her next move to ditch everything. I will let you guys know and try to erase this out of my system.

 

[Romanemp22]

Don't let your work suffer over that b1tch. Never take personal sh1t in workplace and vice versa.

 

[TheGambino]

Don't let your work suffer over that b1tch. Never take personal sh1t in workplace and vice versa.

Thank you so much brother, I love you guys I swear to god.

 

[Romanemp22]

Thank you so much brother, I love you guys I swear to god.

Remember bro we were never mean to you or anything, we just tried to help you to get that scrawny slvt in your past. You are her boss you deserve better girl believe me that.

 

[bat soup]

Yes and that might be what she’s doing with saying she got an encounter with a guy with corona and staying home to figure out her next move to ditch everything. I will let you guys know and try to erase this out of my system.

Yes, be careful. You can be fairly direct with women in most environments without any consequence, but at work it's a different matter. The inability to be direct means that you have to be subtle, which leaves women a lot of room to play games. Women like to avoid giving a direct answer if they're not interested, because then they can manipulate you.

That's why I think you should have invited her out for a drink, which would take her out of the work environment. If she voluntarily socializes with you outside of the workplace you have more leeway, but even then you have to be careful. When she's alone with you at a bar, then you can make your move and see how she reacts. If she avoids putting herself in that kind of situation, that shows she's not really interested.

To me, everything she's done so far shows disinterest. The flirting just shows that she wants attention, whereas it's action (spending time with you alone outside of work, making things easy for you, getting physically close to you and letting you touch/kiss her etc..) that shows attraction.

 

[TheGambino]

Yes, be careful. You can be fairly direct with women in most environments without any consequence, but at work it's a different matter. The inability to be direct means that you have to be subtle, which leaves women a lot of room to play games. Women like to avoid giving a direct answer if they're not interested, because then they can manipulate you.

That's why I think you should have invited her out for a drink, which would take her out of the work environment. If she voluntarily socializes with you outside of the workplace you have more leeway, but even then you have to be careful. When she's alone with you at a bar, then you can make your move and see how she reacts. If she avoids putting herself in that kind of situation, that shows she's not really interested.

To me, everything she's done so far shows disinterest. The flirting just shows that she wants attention, whereas it's action (spending time with you alone outside of work, making things easy for you, getting physically close to you and letting you touch/kiss her etc..) that shows attraction.

Yes her ex cheated on her and she was broken. That happened when she worked for me for a month. The next months she started flirting with me hard and giving out iois, I flirted back but no action. Then at some point she said my ex is kind of back in my life. He said sorry to her father and told her that he messed around with 4 women after her. She takes him back because she loves him. She plays around with me at work showing interest in my love and personal life and now she’s seeing him again. We are now in this situation I wrote about...

 

[Baibars]

Nobody is immune against relapse even if you figured it out or if you've been here for a long time.
There are men who get religious and then relapse when there comes some girl into their life. You can not completely erase your tendencies. I believe that even the most badass guy here is able to do beta sh*t. We should always keep our egos low and accept the advice strong guys give us when we are a little weak at the moment.

 

[bat soup]

What you have to do, with any woman, is gain certainty. You want to know if she's in or not and you want to know that as quickly as possible.

When things drag on for a long time, that means she's manipulating you. She's got you right where she wants you: uncertain of where you stand.

 

[Stoic]

Probably counter intuitive for you, but the only hail Mary chance you'd have is to not have this girl occupying so much of your head space.

Start prospecting for other good looking chicks. No offense whatsoever but you are coming across as desperate on this thread. I imagine you are coming off even more desperate to her.

When you focus on one, you'll have none. Focus on many and youll have plenty.

Best of luck OP. You will turn it around. But not with this chick.

 

[TheGambino]

Probably counter intuitive for you, but the only hail Mary chance you'd have is to not have this girl occupying so much of your head space.

Start prospecting for other good looking chicks. No offense whatsoever but you are coming across as desperate on this thread. I imagine you are coming off even more desperate to her.

When you focus on one, you'll have none. Focus on many and youll have plenty.

Best of luck OP. You will turn it around. But not with this chick.

I absolutley act dominant and funny. Joke around and light. No jealousy or weak behavior in my communication or vibe. I don’t lose my face on work around her or anyone

 

[Glassguy]

Yes her ex cheated on her and she was broken. That happened when she worked for me for a month. The next months she started flirting with me hard and giving out iois, I flirted back but no action. Then at some point she said my ex is kind of back in my life. He said sorry to her father and told her that he messed around with 4 women after her. She takes him back because she loves him. She plays around with me at work showing interest in my love and personal life and now she’s seeing him again. We are now in this situation I wrote about...

Her ex is a CHALLENGE for her and you are not.

That sums it up and there is a HUGE lesson for you to learn.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, the picture I have is of her leading you around on a leash. That’s what I’m seeing here.

 

[Igetit!]

OP, the picture I have is of her leading you around on a leash. That’s what I’m seeing here.

Agreed. The part that people (some) don't see is that it was the OP HIMSELF who bought the leash,put it on himself,handed the chick the handle,then got down on all fours awaiting commands.

This chick hasn't done one thing wrong here........NOT ONE.

And I challenge anyone here to find any wrongdoing in all this mess on HER part.

 

[bat soup]

LMAO not a chance in hell

Classic oneitis rationale. Im going to guess that you creeped her out bro

More likely she said "my boss is harassing me" and they told her to make an excuse to avoid being alone with you whilst she looks for another job and/or a lawyer.