Woman reschedules date then tries to change location at last minute. I cancel

[BackInTheGame78]

Was supposed to meet this woman last Tuesday, she was forced to stay late at work and asks to reschedule for the next day. I tell her I have plans that day and it won't work. Then she asks what about Friday...tell her I am busy til next week and we make plans for today.

Now the location has been set for almost a week and a half at this point and an hour before the time we are supposed to meet she texts me and says she doesn't like that place and if I can meet her at this other place which happens to be in her town.

No. F that.

So I let her know that if this date goes well maybe we can check out that other place another time but that I will be at the original location at 7 and I will see her there.

She says "Wow".

So at this point I am not even interested in meeting someone this entitled and tell her

"On second thought enjoy your evening at XYZ. First you reschedule and now you try and change the location at the last minute. If you are this difficult before meeting I can't imagine what it will be like after. Take care."

To which she replies "How rude!"

No b!tch. What is rude is you thinking I am going to let you dictate how things are going to go and that I am going to drive to all the way to you so you can be 5 minutes from home and put in no effort and expect me to pay.

No time for this type of BS in my life. She is a headache waiting to happen for someone and it won't be me. Either you get compliance or you walk.

This is what having more dates than you know what to do with allows you to do. If they don't get with your program from the get go they can kick rocks.

 

[DreamAgain]

Weeded out low interest, saved yourself time and money. Seems like a good outcome.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You should have stopped right there.
From reading your posts you dont handle flaky chics to well.
You gotta kill em with kindness bro. Like indifference to the level 10.

Example.
Her. Wow how rude bye..
You...crickets...
Her...(The next week or month)
Hey been thinking about you...
You... Who is this??

You guys let these girls work you up way to easy and you are TO ENGAGED. IMO

No bro. She is done. This isn't about trying to figure out a way to rekindle her interest, it's me telling her to kick rocks.

 

[backseatjuan]

Now the location has been set for almost a week and a half at this point and an hour before the time we are supposed to meet she texts me and says she doesn't like that place and if I can meet her at this other place which happens to be in her town.

This is an 'availability trap' with a twist, if not time, then place. It's a sht test, you passed with flying colors. Availability trap explained

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is an 'availability trap' with a twist, if not time, then place. It's a sht test, you passed with flying colors. Availability trap explained

She can kick rocks. Even if she begged me to go out with her at this point it's not happening. I have enough women that make it easy to meet them that I don't have time for this silliness.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't know who made you a moderator but they need their head checked. Just my opinion. The governance must be going to shyt around here. Might be tome to exit...

Thanks for the tip.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Way to much investment bro. A women that did this to me gets an ok or crickets if she is lucky.
You got emotional with a girl you just met. Thats beta bro

No emotion was intended. I just basically told her to kick rocks and walked away.

 

[RangerMIke]

No problem with this... certainly you should just cancel if you don't want to change location.

I usually handle stuff like this different. I play around with it, I'll say something like "So... want are you willing to do if I agree? You have to make it worth my while." Or I'll say "Does this mean you are paying? If so sure, I'll go with your plan."

If she acts like a butt hurt entitled b1tch, then I just decline. But sometimes you would be surprised how they respond to this approach.

 

[Trojan3000]

Man, don't ever lose your cool with women. Wasting any emotion on women is not worth it.

You never know what a girl is thinking, I don't see why you were so bothered by the last minute change. what if she decided somewhere closer to her place because she wanted you to come back there with her if the night went well? maybe she wanted to pick a spot she was more comfortable with.

I mean im glad that you feel proud that you did this, but, here's the thing.. Women are complex man. Women have periods. They aren't the same as men. As a guy, your goal is to craftily get to the prize (her pu$$y) not play emotional hissy fit with them. If someone looks at that convo, many would say you were the one who got emotional.

regardless, its just a girl out of many to come so its not a big deal either way. but from my own perspective, i woulda accepted her move, because i know i got many moves i want to employ on her . its like chess. but the mindset is always about "having fun" . i think you went into it with the subconscious frame that shes manipulating u or something idk

the good thing here is you stuck to your guns and made a stance. this is a valuable asset to have that many nice guys dont have. shouldnt have even texted her all that though.

 

[bat soup]

I think you were right not to accept it, but wrong to show your anger and get into an argument with her.

It would have been better just to say you're tired and don't feel like going so far away and if she insisted, just ok let's leave it for another time.

 

[Solomon]

I had a woman recently do something similar flake then claimed she was having car issues and to pick her up (mind you she lives 35 minutes from me) not only that but she wanted me to take her out for "Brunch" 22 year old who still lives with mommy and daddy

I laughed and deleted her number to many women out here to worry about 1 that wants to make me jump through all these hoops

 

[bcude]

I think you handled it well. She doesn't like the place? She had over a week to think about that, kinda rude to change location last minute. Not only location, she changed CITY. A date is a gift and if she's putting up resistance like that already it says alot about the future with her as you pointed out. Guessing she was older (30+) since this is typical behavior when they become entitled and demanding.

I would have answered abit differently and calmly explained that i've reserved this time and won't make it to her town and if she can't come this might be not worth all the trouble. But no harm in calling them out when it's warranted, that's the only way they will learn. Who cares how it might come off when she's never going to get any attention from you ever again. State your point and bye. Live true to yourself.

Next.

 

[Lookatu]

Thirsty men are at fault here for letting gals get spoiled this way and entitled. Girls feel they don't have to meet halfway anymore on anything these days as there will always be a beta simp willing to cave into their demands unfortunately.

This is the sad state of society these days...

 

[SW15]

This is the downside of an overreliance on text messaging. Text messaging is bad for dating.

With that said, there probably wasn't much salvageable about this situation.

 

[2Rocky]

Should have told her "Oh that's too bad. I had a car on it's way to meet you. I'll cancel it"

Mic Drop

 

[Glassguy]

@BackInTheGame78

I agree with your theory but I would have handled things a little different. If there has been a good vibe and she had been showing a lot of interest leading up to the date (lots of texts, good communication, fast responses, etc) and I thought she was very attractive and dtf, I would have probably met her at the other place if it wasnt way out of the way.

"Sure that sounds good. I will meet you there".

On the flip side- if she has been really non existent for the past week, which shows low interest, I would have just NOT responded to her message other than "Sorry, I am still planning on still going to such and such place. Enjoy your evening".

Thats it. I would not come across as butt hurt or call her out. You now know how she is, so why burn a bridge by calling her out? Also, you are showing a strong frame and still NOT canceling the date if you just tell her you are going to the place you picked but she is still welcomed to meet you there. She could have very well said "On second thought I will meet you at the place you picked" and then go from there.

From that point forward, if she didnt agree to the place I picked, if she reached out again, I would simply invite her to my place for a drink. Her "date" option passed her by.

On one side of the coin you did what you felt was good for you but on the other side of the coin you could have done things differently (above) and still passed a shyte test and STILL met up with her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@BackInTheGame78

I agree with your theory but I would have handled things a little different. If there has been a good vibe and she had been showing a lot of interest leading up to the date (lots of texts, good communication, fast responses, etc) and I thought she was very attractive and dtf, I would have probably met her at the other place if it wasnt way out of the way.

"Sure that sounds good. I will meet you there".

On the flip side- if she has been really non existent for the past week, which shows low interest, I would have just NOT responded to her message other than "Sorry, I am still planning on still going to such and such place. Enjoy your evening".

Thats it. I would not come across as butt hurt or call her out. You now know how she is, so why burn a bridge by calling her out? Also, you are showing a strong frame and still NOT canceling the date if you just tell her you are going to the place you picked but she is still welcomed to meet you there. She could have very well said "On second thought I will meet you at the place you picked" and then go from there.

From that point forward, if she didnt agree to the place I picked, if she reached out again, I would simply invite her to my place for a drink. Her "date" option passed her by.

On one side of the coin you did what you felt was good for you but on the other side of the coin you could have done things differently (above) and still passed a shyte test and STILL met up with her.

But that is kind of my point. The whole interaction turned me off to the point that I DIDN'T WANT to meet her anymore.

Agreed if my goal was to just get her out I could have handled it differently. At this point I just lost interest because

A) She wasn't that hot
B) She seemed like far more work than what she was worth

 

[Lookatu]

A) She wasn't that hot
B) She seemed like far more work than what she was worth

Man you just described like 80% of the girls out there. LOL

 

[EyeBRollin]

This is a tactical error in my opinion. The #1 objective is to get the date and have logistics set up for sex to happen. So unless she suggested a 5 star steakhouse, you play along with her suggestion and go pick her up at her house.

EDIT: missed you said only an hour before the date. Oh no, you were correct. My advice above is for when guys are locking/planning the date, not last minute changes. Well done, OP.

 

[RangerMIke]

*Her asking me questions about myself and then qualifying herself to me.

I think I know what this is but was is 'qualifying' exactly. Is this selling herself and bragging about herself. If so I completely agree. For me this is a pretty big deal, if a woman is bragging about herself, some men look at this as her just being self-absorbed. It could be, but the key to knowing if she is selling herself to you is if what she is saying comes way out of left field that is somehow impressive. And it is something she thinks might impress you.

General bragging doesn't necessarily mean anything, but if it is something she thinks might impress you then this is a good sign.