Cold approach tips

[Jim88]

Earlier this week I was super depressed about life so I realized I need to change something. I have very little experience with women and I'm pretty insecure about it. Anyway, I started just saying "hi" to girls just walking around outside and they would say "Hi" back and I realized I could do more than this lol, but I've never really done a full-on cold approach. Any tips? I plan to avoid crowded bars due to COVID--mostly just random outdoor approaches (I live in a neighborhood with a lot of 18-24 year old girls). I need some of you guys to be accountable to so I can get more motivated to do this stuff

 

[Black Widow Void]

Find something unique about the subject.
In your age range, tattoos are pretty common. You could say something like .. "the outline or shading is really good. Who did your work?" Or... "I bet there's a good story behind that one."
Personally, I'm not into tattoos, but for the sake of an ice-breaker, these do work.

If she's wearing a shirt with a slogan or band name, this provides another opener.

Jewelry, provides another opener. Even if it looks common, you could comment on how unique it looks ("did you get this from another country" ... "was it hand made" etc...)

My favorite opener is "you have a unique accent, where are you from?" Even if they are local, they might say something like "my mom was from _____ (insert some place not local) and I picked up her accent."

There's an old slogan that I think holds a lot of weight and it goes.. "it's not what you say, but how you say it."

That's great to read that you are approaching. If you've got the guts to walk up and say "hi" then you are already way ahead of many members here.

Good luck!

 

[Jim88]

Find something unique about the subject.
In your age range, tattoos are pretty common. You could say something like .. "the outline or shading is really good. Who did your work?" Or... "I bet there's a good story behind that one."
Personally, I'm not into tattoos, but for the sake of an ice-breaker, these do work.

If she's wearing a shirt with a slogan or band name, this provides another opener.

Jewelry, provides another opener. Even if it looks common, you could comment on how unique it looks ("did you get this from another country" ... "was it hand made" etc...)

My favorite opener is "you have a unique accent, where are you from?" Even if they are local, they might say something like "my mom was from _____ (insert some place not local) and I picked up her accent."

There's an old slogan that I think holds a lot of weight and it goes.. "it's not what you say, but how you say it."

That's great to read that you are approaching. If you've got the guts to walk up and say "hi" then you are already way ahead of many members here.

Good luck!

Thanks! Those are good ideas. Do you have any stories of your own approaches? I'm assuming my ego is gonna get stomped on lol. I'm just curious to hear other guys experiences and how it changed ur mindset

 

[7onriverI f]

Go out focus on your breathing and feel your hands. Walk past a girl and look her dead in the eye and she might start giggling or keep looking at you in the eye. Say hi if she doesn't say something to you first. Don't be approaching girls who show no interest.

Other things you can do is focus on each step you do placing the foot on the ground.

 

[7onriverI f]

You gotta understand push pull behaviors as well. When she shows disinterest you don't want to be pushing. I see this in clubs with guys he's too pushy and girl walks off. you want to pull away when they show disinterest. Being polite saying nice to meet you have a good day or night is probably a good practice in areas where you can talk. Alterntively you don't even need to approach as such and let girls come to you. This comes from a auru of not giving a fark while in the field at least. Sitting by yourself at a table where women are around. They will approach you if you lock eye contact with them in alot of cases.

 

[Jim88]

I wanna hear from those of y'all who have actually done cold approaches outside on the street or in parks. How did it benefit your social skills in general? How long did it take to get good?

 

[7onriverI f]

I wanna hear from those of y'all who have actually done cold approaches outside on the street or in parks. How did it benefit your social skills in general? How long did it take to get good?

I've done it with a buddy and been stopped by police because my buddy was jumping in front of asian girls and saying hi and scaring them. Cops pulled us over. 4 cops get out of the van and I talked to them and my buddy went quiet and they told me they should beat the **** out of us for doing that. I didn't react gave them my drivers license they asked me where we was going after i this and I said home and the let us go. My buddy did the same thing with other girls and the girls loved him. And those girls were better looking and full of laughter. Like I said approach girls who are interested.

 

[Jim88]

I've done it with a buddy and been stopped by police because my buddy was jumping in front of asian girls and saying hi and scaring them. Cops pulled us over. 4 cops get out of the van and I talked to them and my buddy went quiet and they told me they should beat the **** out of us for doing that. I didn't react gave them my drivers license they asked me where we was going after i this and I said home and the let us go. My buddy did the same thing with other girls and the girls loved him. And those girls were better looking and full of laughter. Like I said approach girls who are interested.

They called the cops lmao what? I'm not going to be jumping in front of girls though so I'm assuming that won't happen. But I'm actually curious how many guys on here actually do daytime approaches. I'm guessing most don't especially alone... honestly I just want the practice even if they don't seem into it. I wanna motivate myself to do it even if it means getting totally humiliated lol but it's easy to chicken out

 

[7onriverI f]

They called the cops lmao what? I'm not going to be jumping in front of girls though so I'm assuming that won't happen. But I'm actually curious how many guys on here actually do daytime approaches. I'm guessing most don't especially alone... honestly I just want the practice even if they don't seem into it. I wanna motivate myself to do it even if it means getting totally humiliated lol but it's easy to chicken out

they didn't call the cops mate we did it in front of the cops on the street at 1 oclock or just after lunch in the afternoon on a sunny day.

Yes just go out. I've been to mall and had girls ask me what are you looking at? and then i don't say anything and they look at their friends and they start giggling. this is during the day. I've also yelled at girls from across the road and told me to come here and they wander over take off their sunglasses play with their hair and look me in the eye waiting for me to say or do something. I've also laughed at girls from across the street and they ask what are you laughing at and then i say come here. they come over i get their number and talk to them for a bit and take them to the park to makeout with within 30 mins.

You gotta go out and notice which girls are looking at you and then look back and open them perhaps. Or you can play to hard to get and they come open you. but if your walking down a street past them you probably have to open them because they will just walk past and you won't see them again if you live in a big city.

I'm going to start doing more daygame myself since i'm quiting other passions and hobbies and just doing game because i find it more fun and actually can get results with it. It's hard when your going out it's like jumping into a ice cold lake because you don't really wanna do it initially and feel a bit awkward every time you go out. Its sunday morning here and i will walk around the supermarket mini mall in my small town 50 mins from the cbd and try a see what i can get. Ive had girls look me up and down there but they just keep walking because i chicken out and don't open them and i just keep walking. its pretty damn hard man sometimes. other times it seems like your on fire in the zone killing it.

 

[7onriverI f]

Girls will smile at you with all sorts of fake smiles and **** but don't smile back unless its a genuine smile and you feel that ****.. Just say hi and then keep looking at them and make a few statements and ask a few questions. When you see shes interested standing there like a cold duck then suggest for you and her to go somewhere. Could be somewhere to have coffee, something to eat or go to a movie or whatever. Game can be expensive so I would avoid going to movies every day lol since it will cost $100+ a week just to go to movies and if you pay for hers its even more. Drinking coffees can add up as well. But if you have the cash then by all means use it to your advantage. Us other folk who are trying to build income streams rather than spending it see it as a hindrance sometimes and talk us selfs out of even going out because rationalising we are going to end up paying for stuff whether its food if you bring her back to yours since most people don't want to eat boiled chicken breast and frozen brocolli boiled in a pot and rice eggs and oatmeal with no flavours. This is girls included. Alot of girls wanna eat pizza which costs $15 and drink booze or some do drugs. Some fitness girls might eat bland foods but even they like to eat out when they are dating. Had a girl tell me a guy came over and made her 2 min noodles lol and she didn't see him again because of it.

 

[Jim88]

they didn't call the cops mate we did it in front of the cops on the street at 1 oclock or just after lunch in the afternoon on a sunny day.

Yes just go out. I've been to mall and had girls ask me what are you looking at? and then i don't say anything and they look at their friends and they start giggling. this is during the day. I've also yelled at girls from across the road and told me to come here and they wander over take off their sunglasses play with their hair and look me in the eye waiting for me to say or do something. I've also laughed at girls from across the street and they ask what are you laughing at and then i say come here. they come over i get their number and talk to them for a bit and take them to the park to makeout with within 30 mins.

You gotta go out and notice which girls are looking at you and then look back and open them perhaps. Or you can play to hard to get and they come open you. but if your walking down a street past them you probably have to open them because they will just walk past and you won't see them again if you live in a big city.

I'm going to start doing more daygame myself since i'm quiting other passions and hobbies and just doing game because i find it more fun and actually can get results with it. It's hard when your going out it's like jumping into a ice cold lake because you don't really wanna do it initially and feel a bit awkward every time you go out. Its sunday morning here and i will walk around the supermarket mini mall in my small town 50 mins from the cbd and try a see what i can get. Ive had girls look me up and down there but they just keep walking because i chicken out and don't open them and i just keep walking. its pretty damn hard man sometimes. other times it seems like your on fire in the zone killing it.

Good stuff man, lemme know how it goes

 

[daproest1]

It’s how u say it. It doesn’t really matter what u say. It matters what u feel inside and what Vibe you’re giving off. U have to think like... “I wonder if I’ll like her”. NOT “I wonder if she’ll like me”. Just say whatever. Then ask questions. Study their responses and body language. Ignore their beauty. IF U APPROVE OF THEIR PERSONALITY, ask for the number and say u have to go. Ive literally told girls “give me your phone” before and just called myself. Pulling a move like this says a lot about to u. Or u can give her your phone and tell her to call Herself. In both of these scenarios you’re not even “asking” for her number.

 

[7onriverI f]

It’s how u say it. It doesn’t really matter what u say. It matters what u feel inside and what Vibe you’re giving off. U have to think like... “I wonder if I’ll like her”. NOT “I wonder if she’ll like me”. Just say whatever. Then ask questions. Study their responses and body language. Ignore their beauty. IF U APPROVE OF THEIR PERSONALITY, ask for the number and say u have to go. Ive literally told girls “give me your phone” before and just called myself. Pulling a move like this says a lot about to u. Or u can give her your phone and tell her to call Herself. In both of these scenarios you’re not even “asking” for her number.

Yeah i think this is somewhat true. Girls do ask me if I like them or what i think of them or whatever. This is the frame behind it.
I honestly think they actually like me when they try and talk to me and look at me though. I know girls don't like me and i don't really care about that and don't go near them if they don't like me or show any interest. Mate told me his girlfriend didn't like me because i said women belong in the kitchen and she never forgave me for that. another girl said I'm weird as fark and didn't like me probably after she asked me where i was going and I just walked off on her. Couldn't handle the rejection i guess but it wasn't really a rejection as such i just wanted to go to the gym and not talk to her instead. I could of handled it in a better way and just said it's been fun small talking but i really gotta go and perhaps ask her if she wants to do play pool down at the bar later.

 

[daproest1]

Yeah i think this is somewhat true. Girls do ask me if I like them or what i think of them or whatever. This is the frame behind it.
I honestly think they actually like me when they try and talk to me and look at me though. I know girls don't like me and i don't really care about that and don't go near them if they don't like me or show any interest. Mate told me his girlfriend didn't like me because i said women belong in the kitchen and she never forgave me for that. another girl said I'm weird as fark and didn't like me probably after she asked me where i was going and I just walked off on her. Couldn't handle the rejection i guess but it wasn't really a rejection as such i just wanted to go to the gym and not talk to her instead. I could of handled it in a better way and just said it's been fun small talking but i really gotta go and perhaps ask her if she wants to do play pool down at the bar later.

I don’t know how old u are. I’m 32 and I was a bartender at nightclubs in miami fl for about 7 years. Then got together with a 10 and kept her around for 6 years. Short version, she wanted to get married, REALLY bad, I didn’t yet, she left. Beauty is easy to handle once u get used to it. It’s all in your mind. After my oneitis with the 10, I’ve literally broke it off with a 9 Who LIVES DOWNSTAIRS, because a 6 (body is an 8) that I was also seeing, treated me much better, had a lower notch count And overall energy about her. Once u get used to them, it’s whatever. They really don’t matter. Your internal state does. Focus on that. Be completely outcome independent. Make sure YOU like what you’re dealing with. And accept that everything is transient and temporary. Just be stoic about life In general. Makes it easier.

 

[7onriverI f]

I don’t know how old u are. I’m 32 and I was a bartender at nightclubs in miami fl for about 7 years. Then got together with a 10 and kept her around for 6 years. Short version, she wanted to get married, REALLY bad, I didn’t yet, she left. Beauty is easy to handle once u get used to it. It’s all in your mind. After my oneitis with the 10, I’ve literally broke it off with a 9 Who LIVES DOWNSTAIRS, because a 6 (body is an 8) that I was also seeing, treated me much better, had a lower notch count And overall energy about her. Once u get used to them, it’s whatever. They really don’t matter. Your internal state does. Focus on that. Be completely outcome independent. Make sure YOU like what you’re dealing with. And accept that everything is transient and temporary. Just be stoic about life In general. Makes it easier.

I'm 30 and also been a part time bartender not as long as you actually nowhere near as long as you i did it for like 4 months when i was 18.
I agree mate outcome independant is somewhat key. And beauty i don't really give much a hoot about beauty. I've interacted with negetive -9s and have them interested and im interested in them and i interacted with solid models 9s and 10s and then girls in between. I'm now focused on just actually going out more and just enjoying myself.

 

[Jim88]

What I've been doing lately is just saying hi to every hot girl I see. I'm also interrupting the conversations of groups of hot girls. I know that sounds kinda retarded but I used to have majorly pathetic social anxiety so it's a big step for me. Im at the point where I can interrupt girls to say something without being scared, i figure worst thing that happens is they yell at me. Trying to just get in the habit of talking to every woman I find attractive and start conversations--I'm not really concerned with whether they're giving me signals because I have to get this experience first. There are also alot of drunk girls in my neighborhood on weekend nights so I'm gonna try to start conversations with them as well.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

What I've been doing lately is just saying hi to every hot girl I see. I'm also interrupting the conversations of groups of hot girls. I know that sounds kinda retarded but I used to have majorly pathetic social anxiety so it's a big step for me. Im at the point where I can interrupt girls to say something without being scared, i figure worst thing that happens is they yell at me. Trying to just get in the habit of talking to every woman I find attractive and start conversations--I'm not really concerned with whether they're giving me signals because I have to get this experience first. There are also alot of drunk girls in my neighborhood on weekend nights so I'm gonna try to start conversations with them as well.

That's great. Keep it simple. When you get comfortable saying hi start thinking of something more clever to follow up with. Keep building on stuff and getting comfortable until you can dance your way through a conversation with grace. The best is when a woman is floored by casual mastery, verbal or otherwise. She instantly melts, it's a great sight. The ultimate panty dropper.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

One of the more nuanced things we have in cold approaches right now: Masks.

Generally, if we approach somebody and their instinct is to immediately go for their mask, this is not good because there is no cognitive dissonance for us to take advantage of.

However, in your cold approach, if she delays to reach for her mask, this one is more comfortable with you; she is displaying cognitive dissonance, she is making you an exception... If you notice this, try to take your mask off as quickly as possible.

Even if she is fiddling with her mask, touching it, most people dont do that unless they feel safe. Safety is paramount in a cold approach.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Also, look for ones not wearing a mask, they are the recklessly horny ones hehe just careful of the rona

 

[Georgepithyou]

I find indirect openers best, feels more natural.
Direct openers just come across as simping.

You give away all your power with a compliment