How to tell if their crazy!?

[andreihaha]

It stands to reason that we will all recognize the isolated incident or two (from the below listed) with every woman.
In fact, one or two below traits might not seem too unreasonable (for a woman.. that is)
However, if it's more than a couple and it's not isolated... you might be dating a psycho.

01. She wasn't awarded custody (if she has children)
02. Her bookshelf is full of "self-help" books.
03. She provides the best sex that you've ever had (or close)
04. Dilated pupils / her eyes "bing" (a result of mental health meds)
05. She has more gay male friends than female friends.
06. She never speaks of an amicable break up
07. You get accused of unfounded behaviors of which you suspect she possesses
08. Apathetic at times when emotions are normal
09. Never revealing vulnerabilities - but overly inquisitive about yours
10. Overly emotional reactions while discussing way distant past unpleasant incidences (which did not involve abuse) .

Number 3 is the silent killer. You always know after that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Oh sh1t. I have just stumbled upon a "baby voice one".

Baby voice its a lure. Underneath is a cold manipulative ego.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I totally agree with the first part of the sentence.

When it comes to the 'cold manipulative ego'.... I think women are just like that - they need to be like that. Or simply put I tend to meet the inverted reflection of myself (I'm often warm outside but cold inside).

Be the image she needs for her "sexual man of value" and your treated good

 

[andreihaha]

Baby voice its a lure. Underneath is a cold manipulative ego.

You're probably right. But she's really hot.
They always are...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You're probably right. But she's really hot.
They always are...

Hot has fvcked many men's lives up

 

[andreihaha]

I have tried to put a list together.....but will sum it up like this:

If you have dated a few women and are older 25+..............you will feel in your gut, behavior that is wrong, disrespectful, etc. You literally will feel your anxiety rise, sickness in your gut.

Excelent point. You can feel it.
And I agree, it hits you hard when you do want a relationship. It is harder to see at first, specially when she's being manipulative.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have tried to put a list together.....but will sum it up like this:

If you have dated a few women and are older 25+..............you will feel in your gut, behavior that is wrong, disrespectful, etc. You literally will feel your anxiety rise, sickness in your gut.


I dated a girl one time for 8 months......for the first three months, it was good. REALLY good. Then the games started, the manipulation, the disrespect. When the relationship ended, I was shocked and confused. I did a few months of research and reading, and think she was NPD/BPD. She gave me many sleepless nights, as I tried to figure out WHY she was acting the way she was, WHY she had suddenly turned into such a manipulative biatch, HOW I could fix it . I caught her in many many lies, some of which were about abusive boyfriends, many other lies.

This is exactly how she wanted it. She wanted me confused.

Know what the problem was ?
I wanted a relationship too much. The first red flags were all the deep, very personal questions she asked early in the relationship, including "when was the last time you had sex?" She was building a profile on me, to learn how to best manipulate me. I realize all this in hindsight.

Red Flag behaviors - the short list

​

BEHAVIORS THAT MAY INDICATE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (For ease of use, the generic masculine pronoun has been used. Please recognize that the below behaviors apply to both male and female.)​

​

Low stress tolerance with explosive behavior.​ Moody – switches from nice guy/gal to anger without much provocation.​ Survive on threats and intimidation to keep others chained to them.​ They do not take responsibility for their behavior.​ They have to be right. They have to win. They have to look good.​ Very slow to forgive others. They hang on to resentment.​ Unable to sustain a totally faithful relationship with love partner.​ Tendency to project their own shortcomings onto the world about them – frequent blaming. Never at fault.​ Ready rationalization – rarely at a loss for words – twists conversation to divorce themselves from responsibility.​ Glimpses of integrity and emotion are seen – but short-lived. They give you hope that they are changing, but return soon to deviant behavior.​ In a trust relationship, inevitably betray and violate their commitments and get blocked emotionally when they get too close to those they say they love.​ They have no concept of open sharing of ideas, feelings, emotions. Conversation goes per their direction. They have the last word always.​ Can show tenderness of feeling, then return to customary behaviors. Two (or more) vastly different sides to their personality are seen.​ They never seem to get enough of what they want. They leave others feeling drained and confused.​ Highly contradictory. He loves me, he hates me. They threaten their partner with poverty, then indulge their partner or the relationship.​ You end up feeling responsible for the problem. They get to your feelings. No matter what -- they win, you lose.​ Attitude of “I’ll meet your needs if you meet mine. If you don’t, I’ll find someone else who will or I will not meet yours.”​ They are so skilled at making a mountain out of a molehill, and you become so tired of the conflict. It drains all of your energy, love and hope.​

The woman I dated literally hit EVERY point on the list above. When I read that list, my jaw dropped, and suddenly it all made sense, All of it.
Anyways, it was a short relationship that left me very hurt, dazed and confused. Thankfully, it led me to dig and find out what the F she was. I won't be fooled again.

Here is my advice:

Take it very slow

Do NOT ignore red flags - write those red flags down somewhere and literally review them periodically. This will put into perspective the whole picture, and show patterns. Otherwise, you will be like a frog slowly being boiled alive.

ALWAYS be willing to walk away. THAT was MY downfall at the time. Wanted the relationship too much, ignored red flags and disrespect because of it.

Consistently raising your anxiety or stress is a terrible sign. You know better now. Also disrespect and attention games. Those situations teach you your self worth and how it gets exploited.

 

[2Rocky]

​ ​ Attitude of “I’ll meet your needs if you meet mine. If you don’t, I’ll find someone else who will or I will not meet yours.”​ ​

I see this attitude among the other members here A LOT. Your list made me do a bit of a self inventory and I'm not sure I like what I found.

Of course maybe it is a Catch 22?

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Or would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to, but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. 'That's some catch, that catch-22,' he observed. 'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed."

 

[Lookatu]

I was shocked and confused. I did a few months of research and reading, and think she was NPD/BPD. She gave me many sleepless nights, as I tried to figure out WHY she was acting the way she was, WHY she had suddenly turned into such a manipulative biatch, HOW I could fix it . I caught her in many many lies, some of which were about abusive boyfriends, many other lies.

This is exactly how she wanted it. She wanted me confused.

This was exactly my experience too. Nothing made sense and it was this confusion that kept me awake at nights.

 

[Billtx49]

Yes, it’s what psych professionals refer to as the ‘fog’. Bottom line here is that if a man starts feeling like his personal life is now in permanent chaos and confusion after becoming involved with a woman, she’s likely of the crazy toxic variety…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes, it’s what psych professionals refer to as the ‘fog’. Bottom line here is that if a man starts feeling like his personal life is now in permanent chaos and confusion after becoming involved with a woman, she’s likely of the crazy toxic variety…

The other side was he got too deep into her. If he prioritized his own life more he would limit his exposure abd limit her ability to damage him.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The other side was he got too deep into her. If he prioritized his own life more he would limit his exposure abd limit her ability to damage him.

That "fog" or loss of mental clarity comes about thru her or a groups half truths, outright lies, manipulations, improper information. It can ve bad enough to distort your reality.

 

[Billtx49]

That "fog" or loss of mental clarity comes about thru her or a groups half truths, outright lies, manipulations, improper information. It can ve bad enough to distort your reality.

Exactly. The point is a man may not know everything about her when he’s in the process of getting sucked in, but he does know himself and should be self aware enough to recognize when his life is heading into the krapper…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly. The point is a man may not know everything about her when he’s in the process of getting sucked in, but he does know himself and should be self aware enough to recognize when his life is heading into the krapper…

One of the guys called it being her "mud puppy", so going over into her "territory" and making her views and priorities your priorities and understanding and trying to get along with her views.

Reading the "Manipulated man" again, that book is chock full of power not in that you will hate women. You are just better able to distort their view and yours and keep them separate, and thus keep a stronger self identity.

That lack of "clarity" or "gas lighting" is your principles and priorities and your actual view being "overridden" by the manipulation or agenda that you are going along with, unknowingly of course.

 

[Medina]

A very high sex drive is normally a good indicator

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A very high sex drive is normally a good indicator

** thumbs up ** ( favorite sign )

 

[7onriverI f]

What are some of the signs you might be dating a mentally unstable or psycho *****. I mean sure we talk about RED FLAGS or certain type of women to avoid, single moms, girls with daddy issues and ect. But are there certain signs that may say she's just fvckin crazy? Like needy, emotional, making up different sides to the story, lying, taking things the wrong way? One minute everything is cool than the next minute she's complete opposite...

Sorry if im being vague. Just wanted to see what other DJ's think

Both girls I madeout with tonight most probably and the other girl I called before i went out.

Dilated pupils / her eyes "bing" (a result of mental health meds)

Yeah I am on them and my eyes are like this especially after I do meditation with alcohol at the same time. It doesn't take much booze to make it look like I am on drugs. I tend to stay away from alcohol.

Both girls tonight were slapping me right in the face quite hard and I don't even react to it (I don't smile really) and were trying to fight me and probably trying to **** me to at certain points in the night. 1 lesbain/bisexual girl who was probably into me as well asked if i have any emontions and trying to distract me to smile or laugh at her stupid faces. Two two girls i madeout with did this as well.

these mood swings came both from these two girls tonight and my mood was pretty much constantly stable but I not happy go man or upset as such.

I tend to attract these types and guys are constantly hitting on these girls while I just stand back and we meet in the middle and they are crazy sexual girl jumping all over me.

 

[7onriverI f]

** thumbs up ** ( favorite sign )

Drank 2 and a half coronas tonight over 9 hours. 1 and half over probably 4.

I wanna cut that out completely though. Just feel a bit uncomfortable soon as i get in the bar by myself standing around without a drink and at poker and too shy to ask for water at 10pm when it's a little quieter. Both clubs I could of quite easily just jumped on the dancefloor straight away.

 

[7onriverI f]

I might add I have been to a mental hospital twice and girls in there also try and get into your room before the nurses break it up due to the secruity systems they have in place. The newer hospital stops such a thing.

The girls in there are really wanting sex at certain times and then you could look at them and they will point the finger at you and not want a approach. You really gotta let the crazy girls come to you. They are like cats.

Some of them are fricken models as well in there. Had one indian model try and sneak into my room and kept asking for a hug while another girl was present who also tried to sneak into my room. I didn't hit on these girls only really strong eye contact and limited talking.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Both girls I madeout with tonight most probably and the other girl I called before i went out.

Dilated pupils / her eyes "bing" (a result of mental health meds)

Yeah I am on them and my eyes are like this especially after I do meditation with alcohol at the same time. It doesn't take much booze to make it look like I am on drugs. I tend to stay away from alcohol.

Both girls tonight were slapping me right in the face quite hard and I don't even react to it (I don't smile really) and were trying to fight me and probably trying to **** me to at certain points in the night. 1 lesbain/bisexual girl who was probably into me as well asked if i have any emontions and trying to distract me to smile or laugh at her stupid faces. Two two girls i madeout with did this as well.

these mood swings came both from these two girls tonight and my mood was pretty much constantly stable but I not happy go man or upset as such.

I tend to attract these types and guys are constantly hitting on these girls while I just stand back and we meet in the middle and they are crazy sexual girl jumping all over me.

You sound like a highly charged sexual magnet.