Are most of the people you grew up with married, have children or both?

[Reyaj]

Randomly looked up some people I went to high school with.. once I found one I clicked on others who they had on their friends list etc... Most are married (some twice over) and have children.. It's such a weird feeling I get looking at it.. just thinking about how they used to be and it's like they all have under gone a complete metamorphosis..

I don't have children yet but I think I'm probably the latest out of everyone.. even those that waited till their 30s.

Just a weird feeling is all I can say

 

[DelayedGratification]

I haven't done thorough research, but I'd guess that most of my high-school compatriots fit into the 50%-divorced category.

The 50% that managed to survive their marriages past 20 years seem to be locked in. The rest seem to be adrift.

If I had to do it over again---as much as I love my children----I would opt out of parenthood.

 

[Reyaj]

I haven't done thorough research, but I'd guess that most of my high-school compatriots fit into the 50%-divorced category.

The 50% that managed to survive their marriages past 20 years seem to be locked in. The rest seem to be adrift.

If I had to do it over again---as much as I love my children----I would opt out of parenthood.

wow are you serious? You are honestly the first person I have heard say they'd prefer not to have children. To be clear, I am talking about once a person has them.. not their pre children outlook. I always thought that having a child brings about the most rewarding experience in life.... even though its a sacrifice its one you'd know brings about the most fulfillment....

Tell me more

 

[Black Widow Void]

I think that marriage is more common in rural type environments. I'd say that about 50% of my friends are married or divorced. I only have one friend that is a "baby daddy.'

Life (for many) can be an irony.

"we" can't wait to get out from under our parent's roof ...so we can have our independence .
(and here's where it gets funny)
around the mid 20's and getting established in a work place / or after college
most of the "we can't wait to be on our own" crowd becomes everything they (just a few years ago) wanted to escape.
They voluntary commit to sleeping with the same woman forever and then do a 18+ year sentence by bringing kids into the mix.

Here are the typical reasons why;
01 - They fell in love for the first time (as an adult) and acted on impulse
02 - Got their heart broken, (while their friends were getting hitched) and married the next girl that gave them attention
03 - Felt lonely after their friends got married, then felt inadequate and "old' and so they got married.

The milk is free and abundant. No need to buy a cow.

 

[Reyaj]

The milk is free and abundant. No need to buy a cow.

On what planet?

 

[Machine10033]

Just turned 40..... I told my friends in my teens and 20’s I would never get married.. and I didn’t.

95 percent of my childhood, highschool, college bro’s are married.

I would say 80 percent Have kids and most of the men seem to be doing most of the work. for example.... my one buddy lives 3 blocks away... was a stud in college... d1 football player. Falls in love and gets married.. let’s the wife stay home and raise the kids. She soon talks him into daycare even tho she’s not working. He works 10-12 hours a day.. rushes home... gets kids... runs them all over the place to their activities. He has zero time for himself.. puts on 100lbs of fat...

when I’m running in the evening I always see his wife out for her run. She’s in perfect shape while he is killing him self. I have no doubt she will branch swing at some point.

that’s the life of pretty much every dude I grew up with. There are some alphas that laid the law down early and still live their own life... but most became mr mom.... and seemingly gave up on life.

It is sad.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

wow are you serious? You are honestly the first person I have heard say they'd prefer not to have children. To be clear, I am talking about once a person has them.. not their pre children outlook. I always thought that having a child brings about the most rewarding experience in life.... even though its a sacrifice its one you'd know brings about the most fulfillment....

Tell me more

Many parents probably regret having kids deep down by they don't have the honesty and introspection to admit their mistake.

 

[jpic0172]

On what planet?

If you're stuck in the mindset that you have to "pay" for the milk, then you're stuck on the planet that "pays" for the milk. Period. State of mind is everything.

 

[jpic0172]

Just turned 40..... I told my friends in my teens and 20’s I would never get married.. and I didn’t.

95 percent of my childhood, highschool, college bro’s are married.

I would say 80 percent Have kids and most of the men seem to be doing most of the work. for example.... my one buddy lives 3 blocks away... was a stud in college... d1 football player. Falls in love and gets married.. let’s the wife stay home and raise the kids. She soon talks him into daycare even tho she’s not working. He works 10-12 hours a day.. rushes home... gets kids... runs them all over the place to their activities. He has zero time for himself.. puts on 100lbs of fat...

when I’m running in the evening I always see his wife out for her run. She’s in perfect shape while he is killing him self. I have no doubt she will branch swing at some point.

that’s the life of pretty much every dude I grew up with. There are some alphas that laid the law down early and still live their own life... but most became mr mom.... and seemingly gave up on life.

It is sad.

Absolutely sad- branch swing inevitable until your friend finds himself again. This is all too common!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Same to me except that most of the women are married with kids while only half of the men are, mostly myself included didnt really get the memo that we are no longer in our 20s, I see many of them are still going seriously to the gym and hitting clubs at least before the lockdown.

The women simply changed skin, no matter if they were party girls or rode the carouself countless times, they all deleted the last 10 years of their life and now only show pictures of them with their kids and their husbands.

Needless to say that the kind of man they married is exactly the kind they wouldnt even bother to talk with when we were at the university.

The married guys are doing ok but most of them live in eastern europe so as family men they still have respect and gratitude.

I would have like to have a family but there are simply no conditions right now to make it in my opinion, its one of the few risks I wouldnt take despite I've being pretty close to it in my late 20s.

 

[Reyaj]

Many parents probably regret having kids deep down by they don't have the honesty and introspection to admit their mistake.

You think so? I am genuinely curious about that..... I thought even those who have children experience some kind of altering mindset change once they are born... Even if they never thought they wanted kids in the first place.

If you're stuck in the mindset that you have to "pay" for the milk, then you're stuck on the planet that "pays" for the milk. Period. State of mind is everything.

So you're able to go out and practically lay most girls you fancy at will without expending much money or effort? If you write a book I'll buy it lol

Realisitically if you are dating a woman with sex being the goal then you are spending both money an effort. This is the same as indirect prostitution just with more hoops...

I would have like to have a family but there are simply no conditions right now to make it in my opinion, its one of the few risks I wouldnt take despite I've being pretty close to it in my late 20s.

I guess it comes down to if you think it would help you achieve personal fulfillment.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I guess it comes down to if you think it would help you achieve personal fulfillment.

In my opinion gives you a lot of stability and social support but doesnt help much with professioanl fulfillment, possibly the opposite according to your work field.

Many companies usually hire single men for the fact that if necessary they can take extra work and extra days even during vacations, I got a promotion once cause of that, other men more skilled and experience had wives and kids so you couldnt tell them that they were getting on plane 48 hours later.

A middle aged man probably has more benefits as a family man, a guy in his 30s not sure from a professional only pov.

 

[Reyaj]

In my opinion gives you a lot of stability and social support but doesnt help much with professioanl fulfillment, possibly the opposite according to your work field.

Many companies usually hire single men for the fact that if necessary they can take extra work and extra days even during vacations, I got a promotion once cause of that, other men more skilled and experience had wives and kids so you couldnt tell them that they were getting on plane 48 hours later.

A middle aged man probably has more benefits as a family man, a guy in his 30s not sure from a professional only pov.

Its interesting you say that. Logically that makes sense.. but I do have to say it seems like most of higher ups in corporate america have families. I am sure a family would sacrifice your attention to work and/or hobbies.... thus limiting that professional fulfillment. But perhaps the personal fulfillment of having a family is greater. I guess to each is own...

I remember a higher up at a company I used to work at told me "having a child is the most rewarding experience you can have"

Again though to each is own...

 

[Who Dares Win]

Its interesting you say that. Logically that makes sense.. but I do have to say it seems like most of higher ups in corporate america have families. I am sure a family would sacrifice your attention to work and/or hobbies.... thus limiting that professional fulfillment. But perhaps the personal fulfillment of having a family is greater. I guess to each is own...

I remember a higher up at a company I used to work at told me "having a child is the most rewarding experience you can have"

Again though to each is own...

I never experienced having a family, I would say that if you need a stable professional to run an established company a married man with kids is probably the best option.

If you have to launch a new business and you need to cut your piece of market against the others you need an unchained shark willing to work day and night and play dirty if necessary so a single guy with plenty of ambitions and no limitations would fit more.

Then there is the travelling thing for many jobs which is a different topic.

A diplomatic that moves once every 3 years has no problem, actually the wife can help him to better connect with other married subjects while a contractor that has to move every 2 months in crappy environments clearly does better alone.

It would be interesting to read users who experienced both the cases.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I looked at 10 (including me) friends from HS. 3 are married, two with kids. 3 (including me) have GFs, but no kids, 4 are alone. For the recored, when married, my ex- & I tried to have kids but weren't able.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I went to a very traditional/conservative private Christian school (think Ronald Reagan types), so naturally 90+% got married, had kids. My best friend from grade school through junior high did, BUT just died (could be due to his social life being cut off due to COVID, so suicide by alcohol? could be heart attack from steroids? he was very big at 5'9" could have been natural lifting though) back in April this year. He'd been through a vicious divorce in 2014, of course didn't have custody, had to pay child support, lost his family business, had to work for others for peanuts. I think he checked out, but I have no idea looking at his facebook. There's no answers what happened. All the nerdiest nerd incels got married. I'm talkin guys you'd say NO WAY he has a family, but he does and there is a Christian "religious" element involved with his ability to get married/have a family cause say one of em's 4'10 and weird voice, dumpy, yet there he is married with kids and much of it is due to his CPA and working for a prestigious not-for-profit I guess. Another flat-out nerd incel married a very ugly woman, probably older, but hey at least he's married with children. A few both men and woman (one very hot all her life and into me at prom sat in my lap while others danced, she knew friends I knew and we'd ran into each other outside of school a few times at other people's houses and my baseball games) never got married. See a lot of girls who treated their boyfriends terribly in high school...she's divorced living in an apartment. She always made fun of and looked down on me, my family was poor, but I was good-looking, still she married rich way above her level and paid the price. I did some sleuthing and saw where her ex-husband went to court again this year and got the child support lowered or "adjusted." Gnawing and Gnashing of teeth, I don't care Who you are, it will come back around. I'm probably richer than 80% of my graduating class though, and I didn't have one ounce of help really. I mean, I networked but in a town 1000 miles away, Zero nepotism.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I went to a very traditional/conservative private Christian school (think Ronald Reagan types), so naturally 90+% got married, had kids. My best friend from grade school through junior high did, BUT just died (could be due to his social life being cut off due to COVID, so suicide by alcohol? could be heart attack from steroids? he was very big at 5'9" could have been natural lifting though) back in April this year. He'd been through a vicious divorce in 2014, of course didn't have custody, had to pay child support, lost his family business, had to work for others for peanuts. I think he checked out, but I have no idea looking at his facebook. There's no answers what happened. All the nerdiest nerd incels got married. I'm talkin guys you'd say NO WAY he has a family, but he does and there is a Christian "religious" element involved with his ability to get married/have a family cause say one of em's 4'10 and weird voice, dumpy, yet there he is married with kids and much of it is due to his CPA and working for a prestigious not-for-profit I guess. Another flat-out nerd incel married a very ugly woman, probably older, but hey at least he's married with children. A few both men and woman (one very hot all her life and into me at prom sat in my lap while others danced, she knew friends I knew and we'd ran into each other outside of school a few times at other people's houses and my baseball games) never got married. See a lot of girls who treated their boyfriends terribly in high school...she's divorced living in an apartment. She always made fun of and looked down on me, my family was poor, but I was good-looking, still she married rich way above her level and paid the price. I did some sleuthing and saw where her ex-husband went to court again this year and got the child support lowered or "adjusted." Gnawing and Gnashing of teeth, I don't care Who you are, it will come back around. I'm probably richer than 80% of my graduating class though, and I didn't have one ounce of help really. I mean, I networked but in a town 1000 miles away, Zero nepotism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_bar

 

[Desdinova]

Most of the friends I grew up with are either divorced or never married. The divorced ones have pretty much given up on women due to how badly fvcked over they've been. The ones that are never married are stuck trying to find a 30-40 year old Mrs. Right but are frustrated that they keep ending up with cvnts. I think I have one male friend from high school who's happily married, but he met her when she was still young.

It feels really strange to sit back and watch the complete disconnect between men and women. It's not just a gap, it's a huge gaping hole. Men are exhausted from the bull5hit that women dish out. Some still have that glimmer of hope, but it keeps getting shot down.

 

[Lookatu]

75% of the older people I know have kids with 25% not wanting them. It's personal decision but if you can't even take care of yourself or are pretty selfish individual, I'd say having kids is probably not for you.
I have 3 boys and other than fvcking an 18yo, this is probably close to the fountain of youth you can get. They keep you young and having kids makes you better with women as we all know women act like kids.

 

[Kotaix]

Out of my graduating class from high school, 50% of the women are still single, the other 50% have multiple kids. Mind you this is not in the US. The ratio of single men is probably higher. 60/40.

I'm your age. Until very recently I haven't wanted kids, which is pretty much leftist brainwashing at work. But even now, even though I'm cool with the idea of having them, I really am glad I don't have kids because otherwise I would have ended up paying child support to some b!tch I didn't want anything to do with ever again.