Women triggered by older men dating younger women

[metalwater]

As for my friendships - the issue is that in both cases, it was the GF of a close friend who had an issue with me (two different couples, two different girls). While I had ZERO problem telling their GFs I didn't give a F about their opinion, and I had zero problem ignoring them completely from that moment forward, it does create challenges in my social circle. And I have to take care not to bring any of my GFs around those women as they will try to sabotage. My current GF even tries to shame me for it, but I've drawn a very firm boundary with her about it and have dumped her twice over bringing it up after I told her not to.

If it is ok for you; then it would be ok for the girls current guy. if he see it working well for you he might try also the same and dump that older one.

 

[zekko]

I've realized this is an extremely touchy subject with women in their 30s, they don't want to admit they're not as pretty as they used to be, and their looks a lone cannot continue to carry them through life.

I was watching a video this morning, this lady was listing the traits a woman needed to have to be successful dating partners as they age. Something like they needed to retain their fitness level, be pleasant to be around, and have a sense of humor. There was more, but it sounded like sound advice. I can't remember what video it was, or I'd post the link for reference.

 

[JayAce]

A lot of the 30 something women ive known or am seeing in general have either fallen off a cliff looks wise, either taken w a kid or a single mom w a kid and/or extremely pessimistic. Sign me up for 23-27 years old women in a heartbeat. I know some men go younger than that, but I find 22-23 to be my minimum personally

 

[Kotaix]

I've had some interesting push-back from women my age when I list under 32 in the list of requirements in a female, this usually comes from close friends from school days. I think they're mostly pissed because they know they can't compete with young women.

That, and older women don't really have the option to date younger men on a level playing field because they can't offer them children.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The ironic thing about this for me is that I don't necessarily prefer younger women. If I met a 40 year old who took care of herself, was single, attractive, and was interested in me, I'd definitely date her. I don't find that though. Generally it's women who are 28-35 who are looking at me, and I seem to have a lot of luck with women in their early 20's too. I think part of it is that I look very young for my age.

The girl I'm seeing now has brought it up repeatedly and it is clearly a constant source of anxiety for her. I do NOT tolerate her criticizing me over it, and at this point I've told her the subject is taboo and should never be brought up because I've heard her side, she's heard mine, and nothing she says is going to convince me that it's "wrong", and it is clear no amount of facts I present or questions she can't answer will convince her it's "not wrong." So she will either have to get over it or date someone else. Just so frustrating when you have exposed their false beliefs and they still refuse to accept it, and instead continue being upset over it. This is something that troubles me in-general: People who want to believe something so badly that they will ignore all the obvious facts right in front of them in order to believe it. I see it daily in politics.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

I wanted to see what experience you guys have had with this. It has gotten to the point of destroying friendships for me. There is no valid justification for women trying to shame a guy for this. The arguments they put up have no merit, and many of the arguments are hypocritical as they don't adhere to the same things they preach against.

1) They have the right to their opinion even if its factually wrong.

2) Sounds like what I call preference incongruity bias - in simple terms "I am allowed to have preference X for reasons A,B,C. But you are not allowed to have that same preference for similar or the same reasons." The common trope in this sphere is girls on tinder refusing to date men under a certain height ( a physical characteristic that they have no control over) but if a man says to a woman "I dont date women above X weight (a physical characteristic in most cases they do have control over)

When I was 28 I was dating an 18 year old. My friends gave me **** for it but I didnt really care because I wasnt doing anything wrong. If she was younger than 18 then we'd have a problem. so there are upper and lower limits age wise. But if your within those bounds dont worry about it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

My response to any age shaming is "would you say that if she were black? Or a man?"

The problem there is that no amount of logical debate with logic and reason will sway the person who is emotionally invested in their own fantasy view that provides them with comfort and eases their anxiety. Ask me how I know..... I've tried.

I could give you play by play conversations I've had with several women on this topic. I completely obliterated all of their statements as hypocritical or not based on fact. Yet they still clung to their fantasy. Heck, the woman I'm dating now is 10 years younger than me and she tries to shame me for dating younger women lol. If that isn't the picture of hypocrisy, what is? It's like one driver rolling his window down and saying to another driver, "You shouldn't drive - it's bad for the environment."

 

[MatureDJ]

I wanted to see what experience you guys have had with this. It has gotten to the point of destroying friendships for me. There is no valid justification for women trying to shame a guy for this. The arguments they put up have no merit, and many of the arguments are hypocritical as they don't adhere to the same things they preach against.

I always just use the excuse that since I am childless mature bachelor, I see absolutely no point in having a *serious* relationship with a woman that it too old to healthily brood. Of course, I never meet any women that are attractive enough to make my column rise that are not barren, so it's an easy line.

 

[MatureDJ]

My response to any age shaming is "would you say that if she were black? Or a man?"

A great intersectional comeback!

 

[MatureDJ]

I can understand why women are angry, they know men are more attracted to younger women. It may not be fair, but it's just the way things are. It's the equivalent to men being angry about women's hypergamy, or an incel being angry when a woman runs off with Chad.

Extraordinarily logical, Captain!

 

[Dash Riprock]

I wanted to see what experience you guys have had with this. It has gotten to the point of destroying friendships for me. There is no valid justification for women trying to shame a guy for this. The arguments they put up have no merit, and many of the arguments are hypocritical as they don't adhere to the same things they preach against.

They don't like it yet "cougaring" was and still is, all the rage. They even made a TV show about it years back, Desperate Housewives. Gained solid ratings.

The bigger question is why are you even mentioning it? I date girls 20+ years younger all the time but don't tell my female friends about it. My guys friends think it's awesome and most single guys I know in my age group who have any game at all, do it too.

The whole age difference issue is much more acceptable now than years past.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I wanted to see what experience you guys have had with this. It has gotten to the point of destroying friendships for me. There is no valid justification for women trying to shame a guy for this. The arguments they put up have no merit, and many of the arguments are hypocritical as they don't adhere to the same things they preach against.

What pisses me off about it is that nowadays many men are also falling into this feminist narrative that it's somehow creepy/rapey/immature/etc to for older men to date younger women (and I'm not talking 70 with an 18 year old, but say a 45 year old with a 22 year old which I think is perfectly normal). The simping has gone so that men actually think older women actually have value than younger women! They're absolutely ****ing delusional.

I assume this is what's caused difficulty with your friendships?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I’ve actually seen younger women get jealous of me...which is pretty funny.

That remains to be seen.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The bigger question is why are you even mentioning it?

I don’t... my female friends find out when they see me out with these girls or when I bring them on groups trips. The women I date can find out via careful detective work that they seem to enjoy so much (part of trying to assess my value I suppose.... who does he date, how hot are they, how old, how quickly does he run through them.... the answers they seem to like least are the ones that turn them on the most, but then I have to deal with constant anxiety from them.)

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I assume this is what's caused difficulty with your friendships?

Fortunately no. My guy friends have all been encouraging to me about who I date. But I do know some guys who would behave as you described but I choose deliberately not to be friends with them. It’s some of my guy-friends girlfriends (who I unfortunately have to see a lot) who take issue.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

That remains to be seen.

Why wouldn’t they? Girls are jealous of other girls for all kinds of reasons. Who they are dating, how their body looks, etc. My GF is 35 but has a solid 8 body and when we are walking around in public spaces, girls of all ages stare her up and down. And they aren’t smiling. There’s no reason a 20-something year old wouldn’t be jealous of a 50 year old if the 50 year old looks amazing. It’s challenging to stay looking good as you age but if you work on it, it can be done.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why wouldn’t they? Girls are jealous of other girls for all kinds of reasons. Who they are dating, how their body looks, etc. My GF is 35 but has a solid 8 body and when we are walking around in public spaces, girls of all ages stare her up and down. And they aren’t smiling. There’s no reason a 20-something year old wouldn’t be jealous of a 50 year old if the 50 year old looks amazing. It’s challenging to stay looking good as you age but if you work on it, it can be done.

Here’s what happens. I speak from personal experience just within the past year...

Keep in mind @FlexpertHamilton that my avatar is a recent photo of me. That’s what I look like and how I dress. I love those shoes and those white pants. That’s an unretouched proof. I can still model. In fact I’ve been asked recently to do some print advertising modeling because of how my physique looks and my hair (it’s all real - no extensions) and my looks.

Younger women have typically a beauty advantage and a youth advantage. No surprise there. For younger men who might want to sire children on day, youth is especially important. But I’m not dating men who want children - in fact if they mention they want children at some point I drop them immediately. I’ve dropped a couple of very handsome accomplished men for that reason very early on (prior to sexual involvement).

So the advantage of younger women is youth, beauty and in some cases naïve ness.

If an older woman keeps herself exceptionally well in the looks department and body department an interesting thing happens. It neutralizes the advantage of a much younger woman.

If all things are equal in the looks/body/appearance arena then an older woman can out compete a younger woman and the younger woman will in many instances become anxious or jealous. Here’s why.

1.Her appearance advantage has been neutralized.

2. Younger women are more prone to insecurity in areas beyond looks.

Here are areas where I outcompete younger (the more younger the more this is apparent) women:

1. I have self confidence and am not insecure.

2. I am emotionally stable and not immature.

3. I have greater intelligence and life experience.

4. I have congruent cultural reference and context with men I date. There isn’t a generation gap.

5. I have poise and social acumen.

6. I am done having children so there’s no concern that I will let myself go physically. The fact that I look as I do confirms that I am committed to a healthy lifestyle with good habits.

7. I am a well informed conversationalist and am intellectually stimulating.

8. I am not seeking a daddy or a source of resources.

9. I am comfortable around men and comfortable in my own skin and comfortable with my own sexuality. I’m not trying to figure myself out.

10. A man is not at risk of me leaving him if he encounters health issues or aging issues a decade or more from now. If I choose a man I’m not looking to bail for someone better/younger or whatever-er.

The thing that is most amusing that happens when I’m around women half my age for example...and this has happened countless times...is the younger women will gush about how beautiful I am. They’ll say OMG you’re gorgeous! I can’t believe your age! And they’ll say it over and over. In a nightclub. It’s funny. Or they’ll glare at me. Either response is competition anxiety. That’s because the beauty advantage is effectively neutralized and they cannot compete on the other merits. Which is why I appeal to men that might typically date much younger.

Men that appeal to me perceive me as a solid LTR option rather than a plaything. I know that and it all works out just fine.

I’m never at a loss for handsome great men who are attracted to me and want to date me. I turn down younger men with some frequency because they aren’t what I’m looking for.

It’s an interesting perspective to be sure, but I’m not suffering in the dating realm at all as far as desirability goes.

And I don’t bother with OLD because I have too many options in real life.

Some folks here will cry and shame me for that. That’s cool. This is my actual experience in my actual life and it is what it is. Nothing anybody says here changes my actual life.

 

[Scars]

Did you fvck the 30 yr old? She should be grown other quality so it's no need to compete on looks.

I did not. I tried to do some damage control after I realized I struck a nerve, but it was already over at that point. She stopped replying back to me completely. We only had a few text exchanges before that, and I was already noticing some red flags, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I wanted to see what experience you guys have had with this. It has gotten to the point of destroying friendships for me. There is no valid justification for women trying to shame a guy for this. The arguments they put up have no merit, and many of the arguments are hypocritical as they don't adhere to the same things they preach against.

They have no problem to throw away from human rights beneficiaries 80% of the men, let alone consider them as date prospects and this happened simply based on genetics wheter its height, hair, frame or facial shape.

I dont find anything wrong in men doing the same when it comes of beauty, size and youth except that it doesnt need a top 20%er for them to have a kid while we NEED a young healthy woman to have our own family.

Also dont get me started about how decades of being pumped and dumped basically messes up their head and makes them unable to bond.
If only they realized that being railed from 8s doesnt mean that they are 8 themselves, they should gauge their league according to the league of men willing to COMMIT to them not just bang them.

That would spare us the post wall spinsters epidemic.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They have no problem to throw away from human rights beneficiaries 80% of the men, let alone consider them as date prospects and this happened simply based on genetics wheter its height, hair, frame or facial shape.

I dont find anything wrong in men doing the same when it comes of beauty, size and youth except that it doesnt need a top 20%er for them to have a kid while we NEED a young healthy woman to have our own family.

Also dont get me started about how decades of being pumped and dumped basically messes up their head and makes them unable to bond.
If only they realized that being railed from 8s doesnt mean that they are 8 themselves, they should gauge their league according to the league of men willing to COMMIT to them not just bang them.

That would spare us the post wall spinsters epidemic.

Pump and dump is the same psychological effect as a man being used for his money. It's a devaluation.