GF weight issues

[Chalkie]

Dating a girl for about 1.4 years. When we started dating, I told her health and fitness are very important to me, she said understood. I myself, lost north of 50 LBS over the last 3 years, so there's no excuse why anyone can't. She's not on any meds, and used to walk at night at least prior to COVID. Now, she's working from home. If I exercise, she'll begrudgingly exercise too. She seems to eat healthy when around me, but I am not sure if she eats healthy on her own. I know I cannot force her to do, and I've already stated this could become really big issue for me a few times. Aside from that, she's excellent. Cooks, cleans, sex, pays and buys me things. Rather not get rid of her, but she's very emotional and sensitive, so if I say lose the 20 LBS, or I'm out, it'll probably not go over well. Yes, I am in shape and not over-weight. Size M with a 28 waist. I know she's lost weight, as her clothes have been big on her, but I'd feel better if she'd also exercise too.

Any points here? We're both 36.

 

[Lookatu]

Are you in the midwest by chance? I see soooo many women letting themselves go and blowing up when they have been with a guy for awhile.

Just keep hammering in the importance of exercise and nutrition. Participate and lead walks and bike rides for starters. You can also subliminally give her hints by looking at fit women whether on tv or in real life and making comments. Just make sure you do it in a subtle and neutral way to not offend her.

If those don't work, you need to have a conversation that it makes you feel uncomfortable being around an obese person. If she really cared about you, she would or will make efforts to please you. Just like you've probably made some sacrifices or made additional efforts to please her. It's a two way street. Don't get cucked and let her have her cake and eat it too. Literally and figuratively...

I've been down a similar road before and if you don't nip it in the butt now, it's only going to get worse.

 

[Chalkie]

Are you in the midwest by chance? I see soooo many women letting themselves go and blowing up when they have been with a guy for awhile.

Just keep hammering in the importance of exercise and nutrition. Participate and lead walks and bike rides for starters. You can also subliminally give her hints by looking at fit women whether on tv or in real life and making comments. Just make sure you do it in a subtle and neutral way to not offend her.

If those don't work, you need to have a conversation that it makes you feel uncomfortable being around an obese person. If she really cared about you, she would or will make efforts to please you. Just like you've probably made some sacrifices or made additional efforts to please her. It's a two way street. Don't get cucked and let her have her cake and eat it too. Literally and figuratively...

I've been down a similar road before and if you don't nip it in the butt now, it's only going to get worse.

No, NJ area. I've said it a few times, and she'll exercise with me, but at home she doesn't. I've said this to her again yesterday, and she even said a bit too blunt and direct. I said, it's important to me and this needs to be addressed. I fear that I will have to make the decision to leave because of this. I just hope she turns herself around. I feel a bit vain in doing this as for everything else she's excellent... Just the weight issue. I know some people do not think 20 lbs is a lot, but it can only grow from there if not nipped in the bud.

Anyways in addressing it to her w/o making her cry? Again, she's very sensitive. She doesn't eat sweets, but loves cheese and bread; which there in lines the problem. The COVID just made things worse since she cannot go to the gym. It's 103 degrees today and even I do not want to go out to run. She did suggest we could exercise online today; which I guess is a plus.

 

[Young OG]

Most likely you will not get her to lose weight. I've had a couple ex girlfriends that I tried to get to lose weight. There diet/fitness programs were complete disasters. Neither of them took it serious. The only way someone will lose weight is because they themselves want to lose that weight. Not because someone else wants them to.

Don't give her an ultimatum. Try to hammer it into her mind that you just want her to be healthier and that since you put in the work, that she should too. But, most likely you will lose in the end.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dating a girl for about 1.4 years. When we started dating, I told her health and fitness are very important to me, she said understood. I myself, lost north of 50 LBS over the last 3 years, so there's no excuse why anyone can't. She's not on any meds, and used to walk at night at least prior to COVID. Now, she's working from home. If I exercise, she'll begrudgingly exercise too. She seems to eat healthy when around me, but I am not sure if she eats healthy on her own. I know I cannot force her to do, and I've already stated this could become really big issue for me a few times. Aside from that, she's excellent. Cooks, cleans, sex, pays and buys me things. Rather not get rid of her, but she's very emotional and sensitive, so if I say lose the 20 LBS, or I'm out, it'll probably not go over well. Yes, I am in shape and not over-weight. Size M with a 28 waist. I know she's lost weight, as her clothes have been big on her, but I'd feel better if she'd also exercise too.

Any points here? We're both 36.

Example. Maybe ask her nicely to come with you. There is a "bonding" effect in working out together. Makes the sex better too. But don't try to boss her or tell her what to do.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

 

[Machine10033]

I got myself in the best shape I’ve ever been in. My girl was pretty lazy but over the last year she has heard from her friends, family and her girlfriends significant others about how shredded I am. She miraculously started eating right and exercising daily to keep her rear in shape. If your girl wants to keep you she will keep herself in shape... if not I wouldn’t stress you will find someone more compatible.

 

[Chalkie]

Example. Maybe ask her nicely to come with you. There is a "bonding" effect in working out together. Makes the sex better too. But don't try to boss her or tell her what to do.

I have been. However, she doesn't do anything on her own. I gave her some resistance bands that she says she uses, but who knows. I tried to show her the myfitness pal app to use so she can track her macros. She won't use it. I will now just step away and see what she does. I fear I may have to walk; even if I do not want to. It really is a catch-22.

 

[Jack12345]

Dating a girl for about 1.4 years. When we started dating, I told her health and fitness are very important to me, she said understood. I myself, lost north of 50 LBS over the last 3 years, so there's no excuse why anyone can't. She's not on any meds, and used to walk at night at least prior to COVID. Now, she's working from home. If I exercise, she'll begrudgingly exercise too. She seems to eat healthy when around me, but I am not sure if she eats healthy on her own. I know I cannot force her to do, and I've already stated this could become really big issue for me a few times. Aside from that, she's excellent. Cooks, cleans, sex, pays and buys me things. Rather not get rid of her, but she's very emotional and sensitive, so if I say lose the 20 LBS, or I'm out, it'll probably not go over well. Yes, I am in shape and not over-weight. Size M with a 28 waist. I know she's lost weight, as her clothes have been big on her, but I'd feel better if she'd also exercise too.

Any points here? We're both 36.

She probably not took u seriously the first time, she tries to compensate with being a good partner

Woman (or man) should work on themselves because they want not because someone said they should. if you start relationship with a note "my plan is that" this would not hold eventually

 

[Shrubber101]

Women will go either two ways when they're fat and you're getting in shape. They'll either step up and get their arse in gear or dig their heels in and keep eating the pastries.
Just let nature take its course. If she carries on, you'll eventually stray and/or break up with her. It comes down to how much she values you. She will eventually have to decide whether she wants to keep you or not.
Make sure you look good when you go out with her and get admiring looks from other women.
You're on your own path. It's a womans job to tag along or fall by the wayside.

 

[bcude]

Were she in shape when you guys met? If you don't like the way she looks when you first met her then you're in for dissappointment. She most probably won't change (for you). What can you do? Only encouraging her to exercise will work. You can't change people, only show them the waterhole.
The irony is if and when she loses the excess weight, she'll increase her SMV and commonly leave her man for someone better - because she can that now.

 

[Stoic]

Honestly, from my experience there is only one way to do this.

You get in top shape yourself to the point that you're getting more attention from women.

She'll of course notice, get worried she could lose you and hopefully improve her body herself.

Asking her to lose weight will only result in her resenting you.

 

[bat soup]

Don't try to hide your loss of sexual interest and look out for opportunities to get an upgrade.

 

[logicallefty]

Honestly, from my experience there is only one way to do this.

You get in top shape yourself to the point that you're getting more attention from women.

She'll of course notice, get worried she could lose you and hopefully improve her body herself.

Asking her to lose weight will only result in her resenting you.

This is the best option in my opinion. Set the example with yourself, and don't pressure her. You can also eat healthy in front of her and tell her how much better you feel when you eat healthy vs eat crappy. For me if I eat one crappy meal I feel like sh|t for 2-3 days. That alone keeps my diet on track. I don't want to and can't afford to feel that way.

 

[Chalkie]

She was on her way of losing weight. She's made a good amount of progress prior to us meeting or I would not had dated her. If it helps, she was a cheerleader in HS. She's a size 8, where as all prev. were around a 4 - 6. She doesn't really eat sweets, her passion is imported cheese and wines; she's Italian/Greek). So, we shall see. I've backed off, so we'll see where the chips fall.

 

[Stoic]

The chips will probably fall into the quacamole...

Savage

 

[logicallefty]

You haven't gone vagitarian, have you?

No way!