It all comes down to this

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
As pointed out above the term "better" is a subjective thing, but as far as mainstream opinions go, women could absolutely do (so-called) better than me.
This isn't written from a low self-esteem point of view, but from a more mainstream objective POV.
I've been fortunate enough to usually "date up." As I've gotten older, I no longer have the male equivalent to "dumb blonde" status (I'm not blonde, but in the past never had to exert much effort).

I'm not into dressing trendy and I drive a beater. The car is more reliable than cars of today and it's paid for ... and I like the clothes I wear.
The women I date, I'd consider to be between 7 and 8's... and applying self-objectivity, I'm probably about a "5."
Because I don't measure myself against the status quo, I like myself just fine. However, most women I've "been with" (dated or bedded) are usually more hung up on those things..and so, yeah... I'm sure that they could do (so-called) "better."
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,054
Reaction score
5,236
Age
50
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
OP is spot on. Hypergamy does not discriminate against gender, age, race, religion, etc. etc. Anyone can kick into “I want an upgrade” mode at any time.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
As pointed out above the term "better" is a subjective thing, but as far as mainstream opinions go, women could absolutely do (so-called) better than me.
This isn't written from a low self-esteem point of view, but from a more mainstream objective POV.
I've been fortunate enough to usually "date up." As I've gotten older, I no longer have the male equivalent to "dumb blonde" status (I'm not blonde, but in the past never had to exert much effort).

I'm not into dressing trendy and I drive a beater. The car is more reliable than cars of today and it's paid for ... and I like the clothes I wear.
The women I date, I'd consider to be between 7 and 8's... and applying self-objectivity, I'm probably about a "5."
Because I don't measure myself against the status quo, I like myself just fine. However, most women I've "been with" (dated or bedded) are usually more hung up on those things..and so, yeah... I'm sure that they could do (so-called) "better."
Is "better" specs normally a better guy for them?
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Is "better" specs normally a better guy for them?
Speaking as a person that is (half jokingly) borderline narcissist, I don't think that women could do better than me.
However, because most women I date place emphasis on clothing style, material items, trends and status quo aspirations, there's a lot more men out there 'plugged in' to their way of life.
I suppose that this proves that women are emotional creatures that want to feel good.. because I'm not about to conform to their lifestyle and I still do fairly well with women (and I'm probably a "5"on the scale as well) .
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Speaking as a person that is (half jokingly) borderline narcissist, I don't think that women could do better than me.
However, because most women I date place emphasis on clothing style, material items, trends and status quo aspirations, there's a lot more men out there 'plugged in' to their way of life.
I suppose that this proves that women are emotional creatures that want to feel good.. because I'm not about to conform to their lifestyle and I still do fairly well with women (and I'm probably a "5"on the scale as well) .
Have you met some of their guys and realized its "fools gold"?
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Have you met some of their guys and realized its "fools gold"?
Hmmm. my answer would be "yes and no."

I've met a few ex's of women I've dated (parties, social gatherings etc...) . In one or two cases, (after the fact) I've actually developed friendships with them (though not while currently involved with the gal ).

In other cases, I've bumped into an ex of theirs and thought to myself.... "my god! if that's the type of dude that they were into, then she and I are probably not a good match."

This isn't intended to sound arrogant, but I've never been intimidated by a gal's exl, but there's been times when I sure felt above them.
It's all subjective though. My personal perception of "being all that" may not be the same perception in the eyes of another man.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Hmmm. my answer would be "yes and no."

I've met a few ex's of women I've dated (parties, social gatherings etc...) . In one or two cases, (after the fact) I've actually developed friendships with them (though not while currently involved with the gal ).

In other cases, I've bumped into an ex of theirs and thought to myself.... "my god! if that's the type of dude that they were into, then she and I are probably not a good match."

This isn't intended to sound arrogant, but I've never been intimidated by a gal's exl, but there's been times when I sure felt above them.
It's all subjective though. My personal perception of "being all that" may not be the same perception in the eyes of another man.
Give me a example of the "my god" type.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,383
Reaction score
2,123
This is such a naive concept, I have trouble wrapping me head around it...

Everyone can always do better, but it doesnt mean they should. There are too many variables of "better" for this even to be an argument. Better in which way? Looks, personality, attitude are only a small sample of variables that a partner could be perceived as "better". And each of those is completely subjective.

Arguments are a natural part of every relationship, and in a successful relationship, provides growth for both the man the woman. By believing this, you will be chasing a carrot on a stick, and you won't ever even get a finger on it.
 

Jack12345

Banned
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
758
Reaction score
428
After being in social circles with women, I’ve learned that women choosing between one guy with masculine presence and another guy with masculine presence is a myth.
You saying who's above 8 is a winner in any case, and then is just a personal decision?
 

JohnChops

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
2,762
Reaction score
492
Location
No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
Can you do better than her? And can she do better than you?

That's literally the equation. It's the basis of all problems/arguments in a relationship. Its the reason some pairings are successful and others fail. It's the reason that you (or her) are indifferent or can afford to move on

Prove me wrong.
Relationships, of any kind, are give and take. Why be in ANY relationship of the other person isn't helping you in some way? That way can be anything btw.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Give me a example of the "my god" type.
It kind of pointless to do so, because it's all subjective.
But I've always said that an honest direct question deserves and honest direct answer,so here goes....

I can overlook a woman that's had a fling with any type, because hormones are hormones. However, if she's willing to invest into exclusivity and it's with someone lacking polish (the white trash, red neck type etc... ) that would seem indicative of a low self-esteem, co-dependency or desperation. I have value in myself and expect the same in a woman.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
It kind of pointless to do so, because it's all subjective.
But I've always said that an honest direct question deserves and honest direct answer,so here goes....

I can overlook a woman that's had a fling with any type, because hormones are hormones. However, if she's willing to invest into exclusivity and it's with someone lacking polish (the white trash, red neck type etc... ) that would seem indicative of a low self-esteem, co-dependency or desperation. I have value in myself and expect the same in a woman.
Yes. And if that is what she prefers. Its her right and it means she won't appreciate you.
 
Top