"I like where we are"--interpretation?

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Been seeing someone for a couple months now. Thing is, she's pretty fresh out of a long term relationship. And by fresh, I mean we started talking as she was moving out of her ex's apartment. In her words, she's not hurting from the breakup--she broke up with him, so maybe she's been mentally checked out for a while.

We've hungout and gone on dates, and have been sleeping together and seem to have a lot of chemistry. This was probably a mistake, but last night I ended up telling her "we should probably talk about what we're doing. Are we friends with benefits, dating, or is this a rebound?" Her response was a relatively vague "I like where we are," and she also said she's not sleeping with anyone else right now (I had mentioned the "safety" aspect of us sleeping together without condoms if we're also sleeping with other people). She asked if I was okay with that and I said I was.

Not sure if I should interpret this as "I like you but I'm not ready to jump into something serious again", or "I like you but I want to keep my options open and not be exclusive", or all of the above. I only brought this up with her because I've caught feelings (didn't tell her that, but I'm sure she can deduce it). Also bad timing all around. I'm 30 and have only dated and hooked up--never had a "real" relationship and am ready for one, and she's just out of a LTR. I also feel weird talking to other women (because of my feelings for her), but at the same time feel like I should be talking to other people to protect myself. Awkward situation.

I am prepared to be torn apart and flamed for this post.

 

[bat soup]

I think you shouldn't bring it up again and just let things develop naturally. If she feels like you're trying to get serious with her too quickly, she's going to feel smothered and she'll probably dump you or want to "take a break". Generally speaking, telling women your "feelings" is a really bad idea. It kills the excitement and mystery and makes you look dull and boring to them. She doesn't need to wonder about you because she already knows exactly how you feel about her. That will make her feelings less intense and she'll rationalize that it must be because you're not the right person for her. So just don't do it again and wait for her to be the one to bring this up. And continue to see other women whilst you still can.

 

[Robert28]

I’ve been there before. This is as far as it’s ever going to go, TRUST ME. So keep doing what you’re doing but start lining up other girls because if you want something more, she ain’t gonna give it. She will eventually cut off sex and friendzone you. You’re a rebound guy.

 

[Jack12345]

Did not read all
To tell the truth the title says it all

"I like where we are" = I dont consider any plans about u, and I need you as long as I can use you for x or y, and then I hope we'll kindly break up without u making me feel any guilt

 

[Robert28]

Did not read all
To tell the truth the title says it all

"I like where we are" = I dont consider any plans about u, and I need you as long as I can use you for x or y, and then I hope we'll kindly break up without u making me feel any guilt

Yep! This is the type of woman that will say “I need to take some time and take a step back” eventually and what she means is she wants a breakup but is too chicken**** to come right out and say it. I hate women that communicate so vaguely like this. They’re broken and damaged.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Been seeing someone for a couple months now. Thing is, she's pretty fresh out of a long term relationship. And by fresh, I mean we started talking as she was moving out of her ex's apartment. In her words, she's not hurting from the breakup--she broke up with him, so maybe she's been mentally checked out for a while.

We've hungout and gone on dates, and have been sleeping together and seem to have a lot of chemistry. This was probably a mistake, but last night I ended up telling her "we should probably talk about what we're doing. Are we friends with benefits, dating, or is this a rebound?" Her response was a relatively vague "I like where we are," and she also said she's not sleeping with anyone else right now (I had mentioned the "safety" aspect of us sleeping together without condoms if we're also sleeping with other people). She asked if I was okay with that and I said I was.

Not sure if I should interpret this as "I like you but I'm not ready to jump into something serious again", or "I like you but I want to keep my options open and not be exclusive", or all of the above. I only brought this up with her because I've caught feelings (didn't tell her that, but I'm sure she can deduce it). Also bad timing all around. I'm 30 and have only dated and hooked up--never had a "real" relationship and am ready for one, and she's just out of a LTR. I also feel weird talking to other women (because of my feelings for her), but at the same time feel like I should be talking to other people to protect myself. Awkward situation.

I am prepared to be torn apart and flamed for this post.

Just chill. If you continue like this for a period of time she will fall for you...it is just human nature...she won't be able to help it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Less thinking and more fvcking. Don’t bring this up ever again with her. You need to focus on taking her on fun dates and fvcking her brains out. Do that for a month or two and she will be the one asking you where things are going.

Do not bring up this conversation ever again with her.

 

[bat soup]

A long time ago I was banging a Spanish girl that was 10 years older than me and she was also my student (I was teaching English in Spain). At the time I was just 18 and I wanted her to be my first Spanish girlfriend. She just wanted to bang and have fun occasionally and she actually already had a boyfriend back in her home town. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I could have kept on banging her on a regular basis whilst being completely free to do whatever I wanted with other women. But of course, I had to open my big mouth and tell her my feelings... you can guess the rest.

 

[Robert28]

Women don’t want you to care, so don’t. Turn into the cold hearted sociopath that they want, but then complain about.

 

[HyenaPrince]

You need to cool down. Distance yourself from her emotionally. Meet other women and then get back to having sex with her. The very fact that she literally jumped out of her ex's bed into your arms speaks volumes about her. Never ask her again what you guys are. She should be wondering what you are.

 

[cola]

Dude, stfu sometimes. You’re going on dates, having sex and hanging out why would you make that stupid moist feminine hygiene wipe comment “we should talk about what we are doing” that’s such a girly thing to say..

Don’t ever let something like that come out your mouth again to any woman.

 

[bcude]

A long time ago I was banging a Spanish girl that was 10 years older than me and she was also my student (I was teaching English in Spain). At the time I was just 18 and I wanted her to be my first Spanish girlfriend. She just wanted to bang and have fun occasionally and she actually already had a boyfriend back in her home town. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I could have kept on banging her on a regular basis whilst being completely free to do whatever I wanted with other women. But of course, I had to open my big mouth and tell her my feelings... you can guess the rest.

In Spanish there is a saying:

The fish dies by the mouth

Very good saying.

Op, you're a rebound and nothing else. Never define yourself like that in the future, it can ruin alot of good things in life. Let others define themselves and keep your options open. A man who does what the woman is supposed to do comes off as defective and damaged to her subconscious. There must be something wrong with him since a bird would never volountarily fly into a cage, would it? No, the bird is flying around, chirping and enjoying life with no care in the world. That's the bird you should be.

 

[bat soup]

In Spanish there is a saying:

The fish dies by the mouth

Very good saying.

Op, you're a rebound and nothing else. Never define yourself like that in the future, it can ruin alot of good things in life. Let others define themselves and keep your options open. A man who does what the woman is supposed to do comes off as defective and damaged to her subconscious. There must be something wrong with him since a bird would never volountarily fly into a cage, would it? No, the bird is flying around, chirping and enjoying life with no care in the world. That's the bird you should be.

I remember a song in Spain called "por la boca vive el pez" (the fish lives by the mouth) and I always wondered what that meant. It seemed to not really say anything that wasn't obvious. But the opposite makes a lot more sense.

 

[Ish613]

The OP is a complete idiot.
Next time stfu.
Your girly ass asking about the health concerns and what are type nonetheless. The fuk is wrong with you.
Mark my words, she’s going to dump your weak feminine ass soon, very soon. Watch.
What a idiot.

 

[Jack12345]

Mark my words

meaningful moment

 

[Black Widow Void]

In an ideal world, there would be no power struggle between the sexes, but there usually is. It's been my experience that the more forthcoming men are with their feelings, the more scorn (even if subtle) we will experience. We want women to appear feminine and they equally desire a man to display masculinity.

Unlike some above responses, my above is not a put down. I've had my share of a rapid heartbeat and day dreaming as well (anyone here that claims otherwise is lying). But as stated above, these characteristics do not appear masculine. It's like... a woman might hock a loogie or let one rip when she's alone, but she knows that it's not feminine and would not deliberately portray such an open image.

No matter who does the breaking off, it's always a good idea to have a little 'down time' to process. She never had this and as a result, you may experience more than the usual bumps.

It may be too late, but I'd suggest not getting too invested (or at least this soon).

 

[Robert28]

In an ideal world, there would be no power struggle between the sexes, but there usually is. It's been my experience that the more forthcoming men are with their feelings, the more scorn (even if subtle) we will experience. We want women to appear feminine and they equally desire a man to display masculinity.

Unlike some above responses, my above is not a put down. I've had my share of a rapid heartbeat and day dreaming as well (anyone here that claims otherwise is lying). But as stated above, these characteristics do not appear masculine. It's like... a woman might hock a loogie or let one rip when she's alone, but she knows that it's not feminine and would not deliberately portray such an open image.

No matter who does the breaking off, it's always a good idea to have a little 'down time' to process. She never had this and as a result, you may experience more than the usual bumps.






I see that you are new(er) here. In your ten months, you've posted (as I type) six different times.
In view of your most recent, I ask
Did you join to prance and swagger?
What is your significance?

You can forget women taking time off from dating after getting out of a relationship to work on themselves. Ain’t gonna happen. They bring their issues into the new relationship, but yet men are the ones who supposedly have to constantly work on themselves and improve.

 

[Black Widow Void]

The OP is a complete idiot.
Next time stfu.
Your girly ass asking about the health concerns and what are type nonetheless. The fuk is wrong with you.
Mark my words, she’s going to dump your weak feminine ass soon, very soon. Watch.
What a idiot.

I see that you are new(er) here. In your ten months, you've posted (as I type) six different times.
In view of your most recent, I ask
What is your significance?
Did you join to prance and swagger?

 

[coyote_astro]

The flaming has begun

 

[Black Widow Void]

You can forget women taking time off from dating after getting out of a relationship to work on themselves. Ain’t gonna happen. They bring their issues into the new relationship, but yet men are the ones who supposedly have to constantly work on themselves and improve.

I agree. Women typically look for diversions and/or 'branch' to the next thing that offers 'feel good' or 'feel good about oneself' emotions. Not all women, but most.

... And because of the above behavior, they are the same version (or worse) when entering their next relationship.

I'll openly admit that I have flaws. However, with each new female encounter, I apply introspection and strive to be a 'newer and improved' version of myself.