Broke no contact after 4 months.

[RicBoy]

Why don’t you live near your son? He needs you more than anyone. Or better question, why did you allow the mother to take him away?

Look for "current situation" thread if you are interested. I linked it in the first page.
My ex isn't my son's mother. And my son is moving her in a month, he lives with my parents.

 

[Dash Riprock]

For reference my stripey in under the thread "current situation".

Yesterday I sent my ex gf a birthday msg to her phone. I think a quite good chance she had me blocked. So I asked her best friend to pass her msg to her. A her friend read it but didn't reply.
Here is the msg:

Happy birthday! I hope you had a good day and everything is good with you and your daughter. I was wrong the way I treated you, I see it now. I just want you to know I don't hold any resentment for the past. Take good care of yourself and your daughter.

She didn't reply.
Im assuming even if I was blocked, there's a 100% change her friend gave her the msg?

SMH...Weak as f*uck, bro.

WHAT did you possibly have to gain by doing this? You just fed her head a gigantic dose of inflated ego, and lowered your SMV in her eyes to zero. Nice job.

Why do women think so highly of themselves these days, even the HB5's and HB6's? Re-read OP's post. That's why.

He basically communicated he's been thinking of her and pining and groveling non-stop for 4 months while she's likely out partying, having fun, dating, probably f*ucking. AND THEN, she doesn't even reply (I'm 100% sure her friend passed along OP's text because they thrive on that s*hit). Women laugh and eat this s*hit up. I hear it all the time--from them.

It makes all of us look bad. Not all advice on SS is good advice, BUT, when 90% of the advice is go NC and STAY NC, you should listen.

 

[Mike41090]

Look for "current situation" thread if you are interested. I linked it in the first page.
My ex isn't my son's mother. And my son is moving her in a month, he lives with my parents.

I read your first post smh.... if I were you I’d run for the hills. And from what the story I read, if I were her I’d run for the hills as well. Anytime any sort of argument gets physical (even pushing) between a couple, it’s over. If you were to try and stay in this relationship, it was beyond doomed from that point on and a litany of bad things can come of it. Just move on and find someone else. Better yet, if I were in your shoes, I’d even prefer to be single, even if that meant getting no ass and just work on your self and all that other post break up stuff (it actually works if your serious about it). But I can already see where your head is at, so this whole thing is eventually going to end badly. Whether it be a week a month or a year down the road. Out of many of the posts on this site (some of mine included I admit when I was a bit more inexperience), you can legit call what’s going to happen in this relationship from the PARKING LOT (in NBA terms).

 

[bat soup]

Forget her and move on. It's over.

 

[Tilex]

If she broke up with you & blocked you, that's pretty much all the nails hammered into the coffin.
That relationship is forever a corpse.
If you were to open that coffin back up, all you would see is broken skeletal remains and bone fragments.

Time to move on buddy!
You can't bring back the dead no matter how hard you try.

 

[corrector]

I really bad man..cant believe she didn't reply

Mine did not reply either after I broke no contact after 4 years and found out she moved to New Zealand (hence a remote.possibility we would cross paths knowing she is on the other side of the planet). If she was on the same hemispjere.I probably would have kept no contact.

 

[Alvafe]

lets see if I get it, the op send a msg to his ex birthday, with just doing so make him look like a fool and idiot, and if that was not enough, he goes and sahre with with her friend so now he is the joke during her week?

serious tell me, what the F**** was in your mind when you though that would be a good idea? full of drugs? not only you killed any progress you did but you also killed any social with her friends

 

[dude99]

You were told dozens of times not to do this.

DOZENS OF TIMES

You are your own worst enemy

Some people just can't get out of their own way

 

[HyenaPrince]

For reference my stripey in under the thread "current situation".

Yesterday I sent my ex gf a birthday msg to her phone. I think a quite good chance she had me blocked. So I asked her best friend to pass her msg to her. A her friend read it but didn't reply.
Here is the msg:

Happy birthday! I hope you had a good day and everything is good with you and your daughter. I was wrong the way I treated you, I see it now. I just want you to know I don't hold any resentment for the past. Take good care of yourself and your daughter.

She didn't reply.
Im assuming even if I was blocked, there's a 100% change her friend gave her the msg?

There is a reason you want to know whether her friend delivered the message or not. The way you formulated the words makes it look like you want her to know that you're a new man now. She has to see that you are now this shiny, civilized and responsible man. And the last sentence "Take good care of yourself and your daughter" rounds it up perfectly - or so it seems.

Whatever you do now, don't engage any further with her. I know you said you'll wait. But waiting requires two parties. And one of those parties is always the passive part - which is you. DON'T be passive. DON'T move in her frame. Hell, we shouldn't even be talking about frames. There are no frames here. Go f+ck 2-3 women and forget everything about her. I'm assuming you still have some of her stuff around your place? If yes, burn it or give it to a charity or welfare.

Do you know what you need now? A damn rebirth. Be born as a new man that doesn't know passivity.

 

[Mbuckets82]

Look for "current situation" thread if you are interested. I linked it in the first page.
My ex isn't my son's mother. And my son is moving her in a month, he lives with my parents.

I read that but I didn’t see why your son doesn’t live with you.

 

[Aniki1818]

Yo Ricboy, just checking in. You are still prolonging your own pain. I know when I signed up on here I was going through the same sht as you around the same time so I feel for you. My oneitis' bday was on May 7th. It took everything not to msg her.


I finally heard from her from a new number just two weeks ago. After 4 months. She called twice, texted on regular text and tried on WhatsApp also.

To this day I'm still thinking of her, but I realized I would rather her not be with me and have some respect than to try to rekindle with essentially no respect for me if we tried again.

I hope you do read the Rational Male and realize there is NO ONE. There are good ones and bad ones, but there is no one. Men love women like women love children. A woman's love is conditional unless it's your mother. Take more time and realize that you will get through this, and in years from now you laugh at this and realize how foolish you are.

I hope you do get through this. Be glad she hasn't zero'ed you out financially, only emotionally. This is why some men kill themselves. You are better than this. Do better brother.

 

[Aniki1818]

Yo Ricboy, just checking in. You are still prolonging your own pain. I know when I signed up on here I was going through the same sht as you around the same time so I feel for you. My oneitis bday was on May 7. It took everything not to msg her.


I finally heard from her from a new number just two weeks ago. After 4 months. She called twice, texted in regular text and tried on WhatsApp also.

To this day I'm still thinking of her, but I realized I would rather her not be with me and have some respect than to try to rekindle with essentially no respect for me if we tried again.

I hope you do read the Rational Male and realize there is NO ONE. There are good ones and bad ones, but there is no one. Men love women like women love children. A womans love is conditional unless it's your mother. Take more time and realize that you will get through this, and in years from now you laugh at this and realize how foolish you are.

I hope you do get through this. Be glad she hasn't zero'ed you out financially, only emotionally. This is why some men kill themselves. You are better than this. Do better brother.

Also, it's not that I don't want to reach out and convince her to bang and leave on my own terms. Even if she agreed, I realized due to current circumstances, seeing her with all the anxiety and the anger, the emotions. I wouldn't even be able to give either of us a proper lay, even if I could I know I'd be the one with falling for her again. I know where my weaknesses lie. I decided to just let it be and not fck up any NC progress.

 

[RicBoy]

I sent her one last email 3 days after the birthday text and I'm 100% done now... It's up to her now. I sent from a other email account I have so I'm positive I'm not blocked.

Hello xxx,

I thought of you Thursday on your birthday. In fact, I have thought for a long time now if I should write you or not.

I know we aren't on speaking terms anymore, and I know I definitely played my part in leading things down that path. Looking back, I wish I had better control over my emotions during all of it, as a lot of things were said and done that neither of us deserved.

Even if we never talk again the one thing I never wanted to be was your enemy, and so I won't be.

What I'm trying to say is I would like to have things in good terms with you, especially due to the fact that our kids are so close. I have turned my life 180 degrees around and Roni will move here soon.

You don't have to worry, no, I won't be starting texting, calling you or anything. I respect you, your daughter, your home and all the boundaries that were set for me.
I'm only writing you because I valued what we had and I value you as a person, so this my only and last attempt to let you know that I'm here for you if you wanna talk, clear the air, etc.
Take your time to think, I'm in no hurry.

Have a great summer,
Ricardo

 

[Spaz]

I sent her one last email 3 days after the birthday text and I'm 100% done now... It's up to her now. I sent from a other email account I have so I'm positive I'm not blocked.

Hello xxx,

I thought of you Thursday on your birthday. In fact, I have thought for a long time now if I should write you or not.

I know we aren't on speaking terms anymore, and I know I definitely played my part in leading things down that path. Looking back, I wish I had better control over my emotions during all of it, as a lot of things were said and done that neither of us deserved.

Even if we never talk again the one thing I never wanted to be was your enemy, and so I won't be.

What I'm trying to say is I would like to have things in good terms with you, especially due to the fact that our kids are so close. I have turned my life 180 degrees around and Roni will move here soon.

You don't have to worry, no, I won't be starting texting, calling you or anything. I respect you, your daughter, your home and all the boundaries that were set for me.
I'm only writing you because I valued what we had and I value you as a person, so this my only and last attempt to let you know that I'm here for you if you wanna talk, clear the air, etc.
Take your time to think, I'm in no hurry.

Have a great summer,
Ricardo

Women is general should block men like you permanently.

U r a nuisance because u r weak.

In a world where only the strong are respected, admired, loved and those who aren't gifted are just trash in the eyes of women, you better change or this will be a continuous cycle for you well into the future.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I sent her one last email 3 days after the birthday text and I'm 100% done now... It's up to her now. I sent from a other email account I have so I'm positive I'm not blocked.

Hello xxx,

I thought of you Thursday on your birthday. In fact, I have thought for a long time now if I should write you or not.

I know we aren't on speaking terms anymore, and I know I definitely played my part in leading things down that path. Looking back, I wish I had better control over my emotions during all of it, as a lot of things were said and done that neither of us deserved.

Even if we never talk again the one thing I never wanted to be was your enemy, and so I won't be.

What I'm trying to say is I would like to have things in good terms with you, especially due to the fact that our kids are so close. I have turned my life 180 degrees around and Roni will move here soon.

You don't have to worry, no, I won't be starting texting, calling you or anything. I respect you, your daughter, your home and all the boundaries that were set for me.
I'm only writing you because I valued what we had and I value you as a person, so this my only and last attempt to let you know that I'm here for you if you wanna talk, clear the air, etc.
Take your time to think, I'm in no hurry.

Have a great summer,
Ricardo

Man, what is it with you? I saw your message and it showed exactly the same text I'm quoting now. Usually I wouldn't expose a person like that, but in your case it's necessary. Your imbalance made you post it twice so you could get an answer as fast as possible here. Why are you trying to create a new image of you in her head? What did you do that you need a clean-up that bad?

You don't have to worry, no, I won't be starting texting, calling you or anything. I respect you, your daughter, your home and all the boundaries that were set for me.

What the f*ck? Oh thank God she doesn't have to worry anymore. Do you think she does?! You are sh*t to her. You aren't even sh*t. Why? Because after you sh*t you usually need to take care of business. You have to wipe your a** and flush. If it was an atomic sh*t you maybe need to spray the room with some air freshener or deodorant. But you are not atomic. You haven't left a trail or any kind of remains.

Whatever happened between you two. It is done and over. Even if you called her every kind of crazy sh*t, it is over. To be honest, it sounds like you are the biggest b*tch. But we can't tell if you are just from this short text. DON'T be a b*tch man. BE a MAN. I'm not trying to bring you down, but you need to wake up. What you are doing will come bite you in the a** later on. We are the products of our actions. Whatever you do will reflect on your self-image.

Right now it seems like you are just dumping your emotional bullsh*t on us, instead of looking for solid advice so you can be a better man.

 

[RicBoy]

Thanks for your reply I need to hear it. I guess I'm worried because after the birthday text, that email sent to her breaking 4,5 months no contact I feel indeed embarrassed. Specially because I had to send it through her friend and created a new email account to make sure I wasn't blocked.

I'm embarrassed because I'm 6 weeks or so she will be coming to my door step to pick up my son knowing I just contacted with those stupid msgs

 

[RicBoy]

Also because you asked. I have bad history with her yes. I pushed her during an argument and tried to rip off her panties. I showed up 5 days at her house unannounced to talk and she didn't open the door. Then after she left me, we still worded together for one month. I chased her for that month many msgs, shouting, calling her fat B-itch and a bunch of other crap, like saying I was sorry for her daughter to have her as a mom. Her other ex told her this too and she didn't speak to him for a full year. Once she had a little argument with her father and she didnt speak to her father for couple of year. She is very unforgiven.

 

[bcude]

I'm embarrassed because I'm 6 weeks or so she will be coming to my door step to pick up my son knowing I just contacted with those stupid msgs

And you won't feel embarrassed handing over, even driving your son to her while she's giving you the cold shoulder? Maybe even her new boyfriend opens the door. You're okay with this scenario?

 

[Atom Smasher]

So you are pining away for a woman who is unforgiving? And whom you consider fat?

Women cannot handle the abuse you unloaded on her. She has shut you down in order to protect herself. Once that door is closed it can never, ever be opened again.

I’m sorry to see that you need to suffer even more in order to learn experientially what we’re trying to convey here.

Read my second paragraph again and a third time and a fourth until it sinks in. This one is broken beyond repair.

It takes two to tango. You both screwed up. So what? We have all screwed up relationships in our past. The way to get over it is to walk away and resolve to make yourself a better man. That includes forgiving yourself. A part of this is that you want to make it right in order to be able to forgive yourself. In cases like this, the ship has already sailed, and that’s impossible. You need to take your loss, and leverage it as a springboard to a better future.

All this pining away for the relationship and lack of self-forgiveness is eroding you. It’s eating you alive. You will be amazed at the exhilarating freedom you will soon feel if you write this relationship off and move forward.

 

[RicBoy]

And you won't feel embarrassed handing over, even driving your son to her while she's giving you the cold shoulder? Maybe even her new boyfriend opens the door. You're okay with this scenario?

I'm really confused and dissapointed if I'm honest. After 4,5 months no contact she didn't care to reply to a birthday text and an email. Surely I know it was a mistake to send those and to ask her to be in good terms but she could say thanks, maybe as when my son is moving here or so. Its really cold. She knows what she's doing.

To aslnswer your question. I can't stop kidding meeting. Wouldn't be fair for them to be honest. When she calls to arrange, I'm in dropping him off I won't go to her doorstep (at least on an initial phase) , I'll just stay on the car and wave him goodbye, he knows his way. If she comes to pick hi up, hi and bye to her and that's all really. No talking, no questions, no flirting, no smiling. And keep this dance for a long time until she opens up to me or gives me signs maybe invite me to join her with the kids.

I really don't see any other solution.??