Explain me her behaviour

[SayWhat]

Been texting a girl at work for a while now, we don't see each other often at work because of different workplaces. But yesterday we arrived at the same time and walked towards the building.

Our texting has been going great, good conversations, slightly sexual from time (I don't ask her out because of the fact we work together), but nonetheless she knows I'm going too as soon as we go to work at different places (which will happen eventually).

But when we walked towards the building, it was so hard to get a conversation out of her, it felt like she hated talking to me. And then when we entered the building (security doors, so only one at the time). She didn't even waited and just went of to her workplace, I heard her meet someone and was all chatty and laughing.

Now in the evening I get a text from her as usual. I gave one reply but then was of doing some stuff. When I checked my phone at around 2am, I saw she texted something else and double texted like three times to get my attention (like "are you still alive?"). I answered.

She just replied on my text way later than she would normally do which just a short response (again not like the usual), including the word "whatever". Is she just testing me, mad because I didn't text her yesterday evening? I don't really want to loose her as I truly think something is there, but it feels like it's over.

And another question, should I call her out on her bvll**** of being fvcking weird when we walked together or just pretend like nothing happened?

 

[Georgepithyou]

Your being too needy and scaring her off, go NC and start texting other girls

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

No need to call her out, she'll deny it to her death. She is playing you for attention. Do you think a girl that was interested in you sexually would be cold in person like that? She knows she has you, she knows you're hooked, and that turns her off. She doesn't want that power over you.

Most likely nothing will happen with her unless you dare her to stop talking to you. Don't dare her with words, dare her with actions. Don't initiate conversation, don't ask her anything unless she asks you first, don't bring up meeting up unless she's practically begging you to and you're 1000% sure she'd say yes if you asked. Be willing to lose this connection, because your self respect is more important. That's manly, that will polarize her, and will ultimately attract her if she's still interested.

 

[metalwater]

friend zone her. tell her not interested in dating, but as we work together let's be friends. don't carry any furniture for her... priority work over her, keep the workplace smooth.

 

[bcude]

But when we walked towards the building, it was so hard to get a conversation out of her, it felt like she hated talking to me. And then when we entered the building (security doors, so only one at the time). She didn't even waited and just went of to her workplace, I heard her meet someone and was all chatty and laughing.

Her actions are telling you that she doesn't value or wants to be near you. Find your self-respect and kick this ***** to the curve.
if ANY communication is taking place she demoted herself to the lowest possible place through her behavior. The only thing women respond to are removal of attention. Fwiw, i wouldn't have answered her text in the evening if it didn't include some form of apology.

 

[Scars]

Why am I seeing so many threads of dudes trying to date women they work with.. it's like they don't have any life outside of that or make any attempt to meet them else where..

 

[dude99]

Been texting a girl at work for a while now, we don't see each other often at work because of different workplaces. But yesterday we arrived at the same time and walked towards the building.

Our texting has been going great, good conversations, slightly sexual from time (I don't ask her out because of the fact we work together), but nonetheless she knows I'm going too as soon as we go to work at different places (which will happen eventually).

But when we walked towards the building, it was so hard to get a conversation out of her, it felt like she hated talking to me. And then when we entered the building (security doors, so only one at the time). She didn't even waited and just went of to her workplace, I heard her meet someone and was all chatty and laughing.

Now in the evening I get a text from her as usual. I gave one reply but then was of doing some stuff. When I checked my phone at around 2am, I saw she texted something else and double texted like three times to get my attention (like "are you still alive?"). I answered.

She just replied on my text way later than she would normally do which just a short response (again not like the usual), including the word "whatever". Is she just testing me, mad because I didn't text her yesterday evening? I don't really want to loose her as I truly think something is there, but it feels like it's over.

And another question, should I call her out on her bvll**** of being fvcking weird when we walked together or just pretend like nothing happened?

Number one rule. Read her actions. Not her words.

First, she is a coworker. Id stay away but no one on here listens so here is my answer.

Your texts might be nothing but validation and attention. She may text you out of nothing but boredom and is looking for you to entertain her.

Her being cold and ignoring you in person says more about how she feels, than any text could.

Answer her texts by telling her you are busy. You will get back to her later.

Then see her again at work and if she is cold and detached like the last time, cut and next.

 

[jaymbrs]

Why am I seeing so many threads of dudes trying to date women they work with.. it's like they don't have any life outside of that or make any attempt to meet them else where..

A ton of people meet prospective partners at work. Also not everyone works the same type of job.

 

[Kotaix]

She just wants validation. If she's not smiling at you in person then she's not really interested. Find someone else.

 

[jaymbrs]

I was going to err on the side that maybe she was having a bad morning. You just never know. However if she didnt bring up why she was acting cold and distant in person, then I'd take that as a bad sign.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was going to err on the side that maybe she was having a bad morning. You just never know. However if she didnt bring up why she was acting cold and distant in person, then I'd take that as a bad sign.

We're wasting all this TIME and ATTENTION on hypoteticizing a "work" situation? He's already effed! LOL! It should all flow freely and be fun. Once it is not you shouldn't be worried about it.

Even talking about it in the forum is giving it too much ATTENTION. There is a cost brother. That same attention you could be used on yourself or your purpose, or a woman who is already giving it up to you.

 

[SayWhat]

Point is, she smiles otherwise, we never really talk in real life simply because we have different offices, but if we see each other there's normally a wave or a smile.

The reason I don't go for it, even though we work together, is just because I had a bad experience in the past. We are going different places in a few months so I just want to keep it going.

@ Stringpuller, conversations with her are not hard. Well sometimes they are, at moments like these. But normally we have free flowing conversations and it's not difficult to keep it going.

But yeah that situation really fvcked it all up. I've been wrong a lot with reading situations, but the fact that she just left after she entered the security door, it's hard for me to grasp. The conversation towards the building was weird and difficult, but I can justify that for certain reasons (these would take me paragraphs to explain though).

But then again, when she texted her short response with the word "whatever" in it. I just replied normal how I would normally do. But since now (about 10 hours later and after her seeing at work etc), no response whatsoever.

 

[Glassguy]

Youre not fvcking her so who cares?

 

[Barrister]

Been texting a girl at work for a while now, we don't see each other often at work because of different workplaces. But yesterday we arrived at the same time and walked towards the building.

Our texting has been going great, good conversations, slightly sexual from time (I don't ask her out because of the fact we work together), but nonetheless she knows I'm going too as soon as we go to work at different places (which will happen eventually).

But when we walked towards the building, it was so hard to get a conversation out of her, it felt like she hated talking to me. And then when we entered the building (security doors, so only one at the time). She didn't even waited and just went of to her workplace, I heard her meet someone and was all chatty and laughing.

Now in the evening I get a text from her as usual. I gave one reply but then was of doing some stuff. When I checked my phone at around 2am, I saw she texted something else and double texted like three times to get my attention (like "are you still alive?"). I answered.

She just replied on my text way later than she would normally do which just a short response (again not like the usual), including the word "whatever". Is she just testing me, mad because I didn't text her yesterday evening? I don't really want to loose her as I truly think something is there, but it feels like it's over.

And another question, should I call her out on her bvll**** of being fvcking weird when we walked together or just pretend like nothing happened?

Don't respond to the last text and stop contacting her altogether. She will probably reach out with piqued interest eventually once you do this. But this is pointless anyway because you should never "sh1t where you eat." I would just forget about it altogether and pursue a different woman.

Oh - and absolutely under no circumstances "call her out." Not only will this make you look super weak and you should never do a "calling out" with any woman for this very reason -- but since you both work in the same place if you make her uncomfortable enough she may report your behavior for harassment. Be smart.

Edit: Just saw you work in "different workplaces" but then described entering the same building. I would still avoid.

 

[SayWhat]

I’ll not respond or initiate, but the last few weeks we’ve always been texting every single night.

Not this night though, sure there might be someone else in the picture, but I don’t buy it, not this sudden.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I’ll not respond or initiate, but the last few weeks we’ve always been texting every single night.

Not this night though, sure there might be someone else in the picture, but I don’t buy it, not this sudden.

Focus on showing an effortless attitude, so don't read into silence. Focus on your own life and if she shows up or reaches out be chill and nonchalant, like nothing happened. Meantime focus on your endeavors and talk up other women, just don't identify with your success with them.

 

[Igetit!]

To be honest dude......it's YOUR BEHAVIOR that's most confusing. You're doing a lot of stuff that,at least TO ME personally,makes absolutely no sense at all.

You said you've been texting this girl for a while. Umm......but then you say you don't ask her out because you two work together.

Well sir,if you don't mind my asking.......WHY DID YOU BOTHER getting her number? If you're not going to ask her out cause you work with her,then what was the point of you even getting her number to begin with? You made A HUGE ERROR by doing that......then compounded the error by texting and having conversations with her EVERY NIGHT.

You going to LESSEN any desire she has to go out with you. Why? Because you've already revealed who you are though the texting. She doesn't have to go out with you to learn more about you or figure out who you are. You yourself said.....

" the last few weeks we’ve always been texting every single night"

You likely done killed any mystery about yourself. Most people will go out at least on a first date to see who this "new person" is. That's gone between you and her. You already revealed yourself through texting. She already knows what she'd be getting if she went out with you. That would likely weigh in on her decision to even go out or not.

And another question, should I call her out on her bvll**** of being fvcking weird when we walked together or just pretend like nothing happened?

No,don't do that. You made a BIG mistake by getting too emotionally involved before one single date has even taken place. What you did was like starting out on a trip,you drive 50 miles,then all of the sudden realize you're going the wrong way.

So you turn around. The good news? You're headed in the right direction now. The bad? Dude...you're at -50. Those 50 miles have to be made up. Realizing you made a mistake doesn't put you at ZERO. You went 50 miles the WRONG WAY. Now you got to go back 50 miles just TO START at the beginning....just to start at zero.


Problem with that is,the chick's emotions aren't gonna just sat still while you try to get your act together.


Then you say......

Not this night though, sure there might be someone else in the picture, but I don’t buy it, not this sudden.

You say there might be someone else in the picture,but not "THIS SUDDEN".

This sudden? Sir........you said you've been texting her FOR WEEKS. So you've known her for a while,but have YET to ask her out.....and I guarantee you ...your REASONS for NOT asking her out don't matter to her.

So what's she supposed to do....sit around alone and celibate until you FINALLY DECIDE to make a move? She's been waiting WEEKS........how much longer she gotta wait before you ask her out? You expect her to turn down advances from other guys until you work up the nerve to make some advances of your own?


You know.....it's not ALWAYS the girl's fault.

 

[SayWhat]

Well she clearly tried to turn it the other way around. Didn’t text yesterday but late at night she texted and said she missed my texts, and said I sounded ‘mad’ on monday and monday evening.

Fine I replied but kept it short, gonna keep her around for two weeks as it’s a busy period at work, would suck if it would be akward right now. Then it’s over, she acted normal in real life but still not how it should be.

Once you type things down and reread it, you see it more clearly and see how wrong you are.

Thanks for the advice

 

[SayWhat]

Ok I don't get this anymore

I've been basically ignoring her because I need to get over this oneitis I got for her. I used to go over for a quick chat or text her in the evening just asking her about her day or have a conversation. I didn't do this the past two days. She did text every evening though and I replied and we had some simple conversations. Because like I said, I tend to want to keep it ok between us as we kinda work together.

But I just got a text from her, saying "Why don't we talk so much anymore? I've been looking at our chat on WhatsApp just to see if you come online so I know you would've read it, but then you go offline without responding, what's going on?".

Can someone explain this? Fine it's weird behaviour, but it shows interest no? Or is this just another sh*t test?

 

[bcude]

I've been basically ignoring her because I need to get over this oneitis I got for her.

She did text every evening though and I replied and we had some simple conversations.

This is not how you get over your oneitis, you do that by staying away. It's like a drug addict that needs to stay off drugs.

It's not a sh*t test or strange behavior. It's rather simple, she was used to you being there for her as entertainment/emotional tampon/friend/non-sexual needs and now she noticed a change in your behavior and some disturbance in the force and calls you out on it.

Answer her something like "yeah, i've been crazy busy"
She will get the hint.