Marriage and being faithful...

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

read Sex at Dawn

I disagree with that book because it doesn’t take into consideration jealousy. If women were truly all about nonmonagamy, then jealousy as a feeling should never exist, and especially not to the extent that women feel it. If they see their man (the alpha) is about to cheat on them with another woman, jealousy would only push that alpha away bc he doesn’t give af. She should instead become more feminine and submissive to draw him back in, which doesn’t happen. What actually happens is she destroys everything lol. Women will become so destructive that they’ll destroy themselves in the process of destroying a man who hurt their feeelingzzzzzz and that has no evolutionary advantage either. And you can’t say that these women are anomalies and that it’s only cluster B’s that do this **** because EVERY woman has the potential to become a BPD, and nonmonagmy would only increase the chances of her becoming a Cluster B psychopath and destroying herself and everyone around her lol

It also doesn’t consider oxytocin and how binding works. Sex isn’t just playful. If humans were really as nonmonagamous as he says and these relationships were simply just unspoken agreements to bone each other for fun, then romance as a concept should never have even existed. It should be completely alien to us, yet we all know what it feels like somehow. Heartbreak should never exist either. And virginity shouldn’t make much of a difference at all in regards to how good of a partner she will be (but somehow it does?). These things go against the supposed hunter-gatherer degeneracy bull**** that’s pedaled in that book. Anothropology says that societies before us were like that and try to claim how that’s evidence of nonmonogamy, but the truth is, those societies decayed and were destroyed and no longer exist lol

You always gotta think of confounders. Just food for thought. Women of today are ****ed up because SOCIETY AT LARGE is ****ed up. And women are swayed more easily by society than men.

High value men are perfectly capable of being monogamous. They actually function better in life and accomplish MORE because with their relationship steadfast it allows him to focus on his purpose and achievements and family if he has one.

Now. Before everyone starts howling...such men are revered by their partners, and their partners, recognizing her man’s value works to satisfy him, compliment him as a partner and build a life with him. She realizes other women would be delighted to have him and so she is vigilant in her looks and she looks to provide him loyalty, constancy and respite from the challenges of the world. She becomes his safe place as well as his confidant and his lover.

Women miss the boat on this constantly. But so do men. No woman worthy of real partnership is going to put up with deception for long. Why would a quality partner tolerate deception in exchange for real loyalty & real love? Simple. They will not.

If you want a great woman you must chisel yourself into a great man.

Sometimes we marry young, as in the case of OP, and we are not fully formed as people; we are not fully ready as partners. But we fall in love and get married anyway. And that is where tremendous opportunity lies if one can adjust focus and see marriage as the people growing vehicle it is in its highest expression.

I believe OP recognizes the truth in what I am saying. The book goes deep into this concept which is why I think the book would be quite useful to him (to them both actually.)

OP must exert himself in his marriage as a man and stand for his needs as a man within the marriage first. Any pansy can go get a side piece. A real man looks first at himself and asks, How did I arrive here?

As usual, I disagree lol (it’s to be expected by now, isn’t it?)

So firstly, yes, high value men are perfectly capable of being monogamous, but to say that it allows him to accomplish MORE is false. Why? Because he has a family and a relationship to maintain, which can be a headache. Kids aren’t all sunshine and rainbows and happy days as you know.

You ALSO know just as well as I do that a man in a marriage has lower testosterone lol which often equates to less drive. Hence the whole “his wife really seems to have calmed him down” phrase. Unless his wife is some super submissive, extremely feminine, listens to every single command obediently and delightfully, it’s not gonna happen. And let’s be honest here, no woman is like that nowadays, not even in the East (thanks to globalism, and civil wars if you’re from those parts).


Secondly, women rarely ever dress up and look good for their husbands simply because they want their husbands to find them sexy. The real reason why women will dress up when they go out is to spite other women. True, they don’t want their man’s eyes to wander, but they’ll simply scold him for it if it happens lol

Thirdly, the whole “confiding”, “real love”, and “real loyalty” thing is BS. You can’t “confide” in a woman, she’ll think you’re weak for it and lose attraction. This is subconscious though so she doesn’t realize it. And real love doesn’t exist either because women don’t love men nearly as much as the reverse. The reason why there are a few men who have a hard time opening up about their feelings is because those men were raised right lol. And those men are rare to come across because few men are actually raised right. As for loyalty—that doesn’t exist in women. I’m not saying women have no loyalty, I’m just saying that it’s not something of women. Like for men (for example), you can individually rate us like:

Strength - Yes or No; Honor - Yes or No; Integrity - Yes or No; etc.

But for women, it doesn’t exist. I’m not saying that for women, all of them check the ‘No’ box when it comes to loyalty, I just mean that the entire ‘Loyalty’ category doesn’t exist as something to even rate Yes or No by.

Fourthly, marrying young for women is important not only for fertility, but also for (and forgive me for saying this) grooming. That’s why every society on the face of the Earth had child marriages up until the early 1900s lol. My own sister even admit this and said how you have to get ‘me young “so that you can mold them into how you want them to be like” (her words, not mine). So the whole ‘not being fully formed’ thing is irrelevant here when it comes to a good wife because a good wife would simply just do for her man. Abstract and weird in today’s time but **** it, you live in the south anyway RIP

Fifthly, mrgoodstuff’s post is one of those atomic redpill stories about women. The man she is married to is arguably the highest quality ‘alpha’ you can be, and she cheats on him with dudes you yourself would never look twice at BE. Wtf is that about? Perhaps an anomaly...

 

[Spaz]

High value men are perfectly capable of being monogamous. They actually function better in life and accomplish MORE because with their relationship steadfast it allows him to focus on his purpose and achievements and family if he has one.

Now. Before everyone starts howling...such men are revered by their partners, and their partners, recognizing her man’s value works to satisfy him, compliment him as a partner and build a life with him. She realizes other women would be delighted to have him and so she is vigilant in her looks and she looks to provide him loyalty, constancy and respite from the challenges of the world. She becomes his safe place as well as his confidant and his lover.

Women miss the boat on this constantly. But so do men. No woman worthy of real partnership is going to put up with deception for long. Why would a quality partner tolerate deception in exchange for real loyalty & real love? Simple. They will not.

If you want a great woman you must chisel yourself into a great man.

Sometimes we marry young, as in the case of OP, and we are not fully formed as people; we are not fully ready as partners. But we fall in love and get married anyway. And that is where tremendous opportunity lies if one can adjust focus and see marriage as the people growing vehicle it is in its highest expression.

I believe OP recognizes the truth in what I am saying. The book goes deep into this concept which is why I think the book would be quite useful to him (to them both actually.)

OP must exert himself in his marriage as a man and stand for his needs as a man within the marriage first. Any pansy can go get a side piece. A real man looks first at himself and asks, How did I arrive here?

Seems like you were a great man before ur sex change operation, unless of course like all women do, you're putting ideas of what a women think a man should be or more specifically of how BE wants her man to treat her.

Ain't that sweet...i wonder which potential White Knight here believes ur narrative.

 

[BeExcellent]

Seems like you were a great man before ur sex change operation, unless of course like all women do, you're putting ideas of what a women think a man should be or more specifically of how BE wants her man to treat her.

Ain't that sweet...i wonder which potential White Knight here believes ur narrative.

Not at all. I see many many examples of what I posted in my own family and within my social circles. Now. Many of the families my own age or younger are Catholic, so come from a conservative religious doctrine...but not all are. These are couples who are happy after decades together, where the man leads and the woman defers, where the man slays the dragons outside the home and the woman manages the home & raises the children. One couple in particular has their eldest son who is in his mid 20s, who married earlier this year and both he and his wife were virgins until the wedding night (just as his parents had been).

The young man is very handsome, a semi professional MLS under league soccer player...and his mother used to tell me how much grief he would get regarding his personal beliefs about sex...but his character was such that he would agree to disagree with his mates and refrained from chasing tail for sake of tail. He wants a marriage like his parents have. His wife is gorgeous and his parents love her. The husband/father in this example is a very good looking physician who was a university soccer & rugby player. He is tall, athletic, has all his hair & carries himself with masculinity. He coaches youth soccer in his spare time & is a solid real man. I have coached teams in the same leagues and know the family well. His wife was a Rhodes scholar and they met in UK during her year abroad. They have 6 children, all attractive, and the wife is fit and trim and is a naturally beautiful woman. That is just one example of a couple who is my age. I know older couples and younger couples who are also like this.

But those are not the men who are here on the forum. Colossus was like that, (he was NOT a virgin but he aspired to a great marriage & monogamy) and used to be a moderator. He’s happily married now. So are others from here who have gone.

There ARE great marriages out there. But very very few of those men contribute here.

 

[BeExcellent]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! They key question for one to ask is this:

What do I most want and most value in my relationships?

THAT is the question. Once the real, honest answer to that question has been determined then one can go about manifesting that reality.

If a man does not believe that marriages like the ones I described above exist? Well then he has robbed himself of allowing himself opportunity to have such a union at the jump.

Why?

Because even if a man wants that kind of relationship his disbelief absolves him (rather conveniently) of having to chisel himself into the kind of man such relationships require. So therefore consider all women damaged, spin plates & call it good. That’s easier.

And that will be the reality that HE created because it’s the only possibility HE can see for himself.

But it isn’t the only possible objective reality.

 

[2Rocky]

I know my grandparents had that kind of marriage. Not to say Gma was perfect. Yeah she nagged, and worried and was emotional. But Gpa was patient, and was regarded as a leader in the community and folks sought his advice. I look at the "Balance of Power" there was there. Grandpa indulged her Church involvement and took her as much as she wanted to go (weekly). They traveled extensively and saw much of the country together pulling an RV. Grandma had her domain (the house and the RV trailer) while grandpa had his, (shop/garage vehicle etc.) He did his hunting, Gma was proud to prepare what he or us Kids brought back (as well as show us how). I think they respected each others strengths and interests and I never saw them outwardly dismiss something the other was passionate about.

They were friends with people who had great marriages also. We learn by example.

 

[BeExcellent]

I love when woman says "Real man would...." or "Alpha would...." hehe

Might be possible just maybe that I had a Real Man/Masculine Man/Alpha Man (categorize it however you will) for a father.

In fact I did.

And for a grandfather and for great uncles on both sides...

So I grew up with the most influential men in my life as these kinds of men. They had friends & associates who were these kinds of men. They were men’s men in the true sense of the word.

What’s funny is you guys on this thread throwing darts at me...yet we have entire threads around here espousing the value of finding a woman who has a “real man” for a father.

People aren’t horses. But people who have been around horses all their lives KNOW something about horses. They don’t need to actually Be a horse.

Same is true here. I’m not a man,clearly. But I grew up and have been around strong masculine men all my life. So I might know something about them...since that’s the type man I had for a father and many other examples in my life.

I find the darts rather ironic actually for that reason. No worries.

Carry on (Chuckles & shakes head in amusement).

Cheers

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Not at all. I see many many examples of what I posted in my own family and within my social circles. Now. Many of the families my own age or younger are Catholic, so come from a conservative religious doctrine...but not all are. These are couples who are happy after decades together, where the man leads and the woman defers, where the man slays the dragons outside the home and the woman manages the home & raises the children. One couple in particular has their eldest son who is in his mid 20s, who married earlier this year and both he and his wife were virgins until the wedding night (just as his parents had been).

The young man is very handsome, a semi professional MLS under league soccer player...and his mother used to tell me how much grief he would get regarding his personal beliefs about sex...but his character was such that he would agree to disagree with his mates and refrained from chasing tail for sake of tail. He wants a marriage like his parents have. His wife is gorgeous and his parents love her. The husband/father in this example is a very good looking physician who was a university soccer & rugby player. He is tall, athletic, has all his hair & carries himself with masculinity. He coaches youth soccer in his spare time & is a solid real man. I have coached teams in the same leagues and know the family well. His wife was a Rhodes scholar and they met in UK during her year abroad. They have 6 children, all attractive, and the wife is fit and trim and is a naturally beautiful woman. That is just one example of a couple who is my age. I know older couples and younger couples who are also like this.

But those are not the men who are here on the forum. Colossus was like that, (he was NOT a virgin but he aspired to a great marriage & monogamy) and used to be a moderator. He’s happily married now. So are others from here who have gone.

There ARE great marriages out there. But very very few of those men contribute here.

I didn't know you coached! Much respect BeExcellent, love to read about leadership roles.

 

[Spaz]

Not at all. I see many many examples of what I posted in my own family and within my social circles. Now. Many of the families my own age or younger are Catholic, so come from a conservative religious doctrine...but not all are. These are couples who are happy after decades together, where the man leads and the woman defers, where the man slays the dragons outside the home and the woman manages the home & raises the children. One couple in particular has their eldest son who is in his mid 20s, who married earlier this year and both he and his wife were virgins until the wedding night (just as his parents had been).

The young man is very handsome, a semi professional MLS under league soccer player...and his mother used to tell me how much grief he would get regarding his personal beliefs about sex...but his character was such that he would agree to disagree with his mates and refrained from chasing tail for sake of tail. He wants a marriage like his parents have. His wife is gorgeous and his parents love her. The husband/father in this example is a very good looking physician who was a university soccer & rugby player. He is tall, athletic, has all his hair & carries himself with masculinity. He coaches youth soccer in his spare time & is a solid real man. I have coached teams in the same leagues and know the family well. His wife was a Rhodes scholar and they met in UK during her year abroad. They have 6 children, all attractive, and the wife is fit and trim and is a naturally beautiful woman. That is just one example of a couple who is my age. I know older couples and younger couples who are also like this.

But those are not the men who are here on the forum. Colossus was like that, (he was NOT a virgin but he aspired to a great marriage & monogamy) and used to be a moderator. He’s happily married now. So are others from here who have gone.

There ARE great marriages out there. But very very few of those men contribute here.

In the end, all of this is just ur speculation after seeing what you wanted to see in others and hoping you get it since you're never had it, a dream.

A woman's dream.

If you wanted to teach women here how to protect themselves via manipulation of men, I will have nothing to say. That is ur right.

But this is a forum for men and ur words here are akin to stifling men's future achievements, for that I cannot just passively stand by and feign ignorance.

If the situation is reversed, i'm certain most of the males here (the regulars), would have the decency to not disturb a forum that's meant for the advancement of women.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I love when woman says "Real man would...." or "Alpha would...." hehe

Lol ikr every time a woman says that, it’s because she wants to manipulate a man into doing something she wants. Which in this case, is agree and applaud her. But they haven’t the slightest clue what it means to be a real man themselves though

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! They key question for one to ask is this:

What do I most want and most value in my relationships?

THAT is the question. Once the real, honest answer to that question has been determined then one can go about manifesting that reality.

If a man does not believe that marriages like the ones I described above exist? Well then he has robbed himself of allowing himself opportunity to have such a union at the jump.

Why?

Because even if a man wants that kind of relationship his disbelief absolves him (rather conveniently) of having to chisel himself into the kind of man such relationships require. So therefore consider all women damaged, spin plates & call it good. That’s easier.

And that will be the reality that HE created because it’s the only possibility HE can see for himself.

But it isn’t the only possible objective reality.

BE, most of your stories are those ‘too good to be true’ types. They’re interesting to read about, but there’s definitely some aspects about them or their relationships that you wouldn’t want us here to know about because then assholes like me will pick it apart and dissect it like always lol

But as for what I want most in my relationships, and the things I want/desire in general, I already know what those are and have known for many years. I’m not some angry young kid who looks down at his feet mumbling to himself, pissed off at the world around him lol, I’m actually incredibly introspective which is why I’m able to accurately extrapolate lots of information from very small details that others don’t seem to pick up on. And I know about all this stuff because of the internal (and external) work I’ve been doing on myself. I’ve been “chiseling”, as you would put it, at myself for much longer and with greater effort than you have. I’ve been screaming at myself for the last 4 years at least about why I’m not doing more and being more (even though I am), but the truth is, my brain and body just shut down and prevent me from going further at the rate that I want. I’m far above the normal 21 year-old my age (praise God), I just don’t talk about what I’m doing in my life on here because evil-eye is a very real thing, and while I’m not one to believe in some hocus pocus superstitious spiritual woowoo crap, I can’t deny that this stuff exists. You would call it “the laws of attraction”, which is the principle you’re applying here when you say I must be ‘open’ towards “another possible objective reality”, which I completely understand because I’ve utilized it before myself. However, we cannot deny the current state of women today.

I have a perfect ideal of what I want my woman to be like, and have a perfect image/concept in my head of who/how/what I want her to be. The only problem here is that when I look around me, I don’t see any woman who fits any of these traits or qualities or characteristics. Forget someone who perfectly fits this perfect ideal, I’m talking about how there aren’t any women who even SHARE similar traits with this girl. Femininity? Nope. Genuinely sweet as a person? Nope. Is ‘pure’? Nope.

Don’t get me wrong, there are tons of girls who are sweet and feminine and etc to me. I am attractive after all. But I haven’t found one who was like that because it's who she is. And this is important because it shows her true character. If you’re only sweet and loving to me but not to others around you, that means that this sweet & loving character you have is just a facade. You’re only with me because you want something out of me, not because you actually like me.

I think about every problem with myself that I need to work on and am working on. Truth be told, none of the problems come from myself really, it’s all things that are outside of my control (that I try to control nonetheless). There was one thing that I thought was of myself that I’ve tried working on, but in the end, God didn’t want me to remove it. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

You’re probably thinking that my standards are just too high, but I’m not gonna lower my standards for your average cunt when they wouldn’t do the same for me, they just don’t deserve it. Especially when they’re just ‘settling’. The reality is, the person I’m striving to become, and hopefully shall become, God-willing, will be greater than all these other women. It’s just that most women don’t deserve a man like that. And based on current and previous trends, it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll ever find that ‘special someone’ who does.

I’m not willing to compromise. I didn’t work this hard on myself just to get some second-rate slag who suddenly had a ‘revelation’ to become a good girl. No born-again virgins. All it takes is a couple of drinks and a you go gurrrrll and she’s back to being Candy the Stripper. You give me your hymen, or else I don’t want you for anything more than your holes lol. Ain’t no way I’m gonna work for something another man had for free. Especially when I’m better than that man in all regards. **** that lmao

 

[Alvafe]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! They key question for one to ask is this:

What do I most want and most value in my relationships?

THAT is the question. Once the real, honest answer to that question has been determined then one can go about manifesting that reality.

If a man does not believe that marriages like the ones I described above exist? Well then he has robbed himself of allowing himself opportunity to have such a union at the jump.

Why?

Because even if a man wants that kind of relationship his disbelief absolves him (rather conveniently) of having to chisel himself into the kind of man such relationships require. So therefore consider all women damaged, spin plates & call it good. That’s easier.

And that will be the reality that HE created because it’s the only possibility HE can see for himself.

But it isn’t the only possible objective reality.

or you could ask yourself a question, why a men today would want anything serious with a woman? most issues guys ahve with woman is they need for sex, if you remove the need for sex then they wouldn't go for this much lenght to get woman.

men are logical most of time, and men also know the diference of girls to have fun girls to get serious, woamn today are not the kind to take serious, so most guys will not put a effort to form families, they will just to date around, they get they needs meet and stay happy and healthy

 

[Spaz]

I love when woman says "Real man would...." or "Alpha would...." hehe

And we all know what that means, but unfortunately, some of our gullible members would eat it up like hungry men who hasn't had meat for a month.

 

[BeExcellent]

Just offering advice like any other member here. I’m a chick. So what. Ignore me rather than get triggered.

It’s the OP’s post. He gets it.

How is it that my content is somehow dangerous? Because I’m female? Flattering you guys concede so much power to me.

Cheers

 

[metalwater]

What’s funny is you guys on this thread throwing darts at me...yet we have entire threads around here espousing the value of finding a woman who has a “real man” for a father.

People aren’t horses. But people who have been around horses all their lives KNOW something about horses. They don’t need to actually Be a horse.

Same is true here. I’m not a man,clearly. But I grew up and have been around strong masculine men all my life. So I might know something about them...since that’s the type man I had for a father and many other examples in my life.

you actually add value providing a viewpoint that is different. some of the men will call you out on it, and they are right, just as much as your viewpoint is right. a compassionate outer viewpoint with style is very feminine and with value. Why you choose the men that you do choose is valuable info for men; but the truth and only the truth.

I always wanted the world to work like your presented viewpoint(or how I perceive it is for you).. but it generally does not. I do believe that it used to look like that due to physical constraints. as the constraints are lifted due to wealth and technology the truths rise up. a couple of the older long time male posters have it right and tell of getting some scars to learn. The damage women do to good men is just unbelievable. If I can learn; anyone can. As I have applied the lessons I see clear results. I cannot argue with the results.

For the horse.. I know animals. How does the horse see things... and do we really care for the most part as long as they do what we want. I also like dogs. The call of the wild is a great view into how the dog might think.. How do you get the Horse or MAN to do what you want? You probably have that figured out long ago. How do you get them to want to do what you want? I mean take the BIT out of the mouth. But then... they are not interesting anymore if they behave. what women want is incongruent with what they think. but.. at a physical emotional level they know.... at least most do. The internal chaos of being female must be an adventure of gigantic proportions.

Is the man the same if his power decreases or another comes into view with more. Women's view, No; after some time the women will usually move on due to lost attraction, same with sex. Power and Sex. Those two needs fight with each other inside. To a woman, alpha equals high power(STATUS) and sex. To a man, alpha equals respect, wisdom, strength, and principals, we/I never fear the alpha at the same time being such in several areas. I only watch out for the angry beta. There are many self-proclaimed alphas that are dirtbags; and a harem of women with them. but that is all about the definition I suppose.

I think on this board the elders are trying to teach how to not get spiritually raped by women, leading down several different paths to achieve that. some of the required medicine on its own sounds odd... but it is the goal and results that matter.

You write about your Dad a few times. Sounds like a great man in your eyes, I can hope my daughter will tell as good about me. Was he a player with a harem? if not why date men that are players? because they show status and are likely skilled at sex. some men wish that women would value them for the same reasons that other men value other men, but it does not work like that. and by the way, how men value women is just as skewed in a different direction.

the men know what you're trying to tell them. but they know it is not true.

not a dart; just perspective.
HTH

 

[Spaz]

There are mitigating circumstances - when she was 21, it was 1991 - no way females were as b.itchy or bad mannered back then as they are now, there were also other standards of acceptable behaviour in relationships, even if relations between men and females eroded back then (for sure they were) c.ockcarousell efficiency was nowhere nowadays efficiency nor men were as pedestalising like they are now.

To sum up: to some extent what she writes could be true at some point, it's just not true anymore.

Females back then or now we're always the same, it's just the surroundings has changed, in that what was once shameful is no longer considered so.

 

[Spaz]

Just offering advice like any other member here. I’m a chick. So what. Ignore me rather than get triggered.

It’s the OP’s post. He gets it.

How is it that my content is somehow dangerous? Because I’m female? Flattering you guys concede so much power to me.

Cheers

In every relationship you had with men has all ended up in failure, but back then you spoke in glowing terms of all those so called high valued men you're with, only to later discredit them AFTER you were dumped.

One can fail to see once or twice, but they cannot be blind their entire lives.

And you still dare to give advice on what constitutes a great men? What aptitudes he should have?

 

[BeExcellent]

@metalwater it’s interesting. I personally view alpha as leadership and sex appeal. But to me personally all the traits you mentioned (respect, wisdom, strength and principals) that you say men see as alpha determine leadership.

Status, in a material sense is less important to me.

My father was tall at 6’4” and built like John Wayne...carried himself with that same presence. He was a very successful attorney, argued and won before the US Supreme Court and was appointed as an assistant Attorney General in my state. He was decisive and physically imposing. He was an elder in our church for years and taught an adult Sunday school class for 35 years until he was in his 80s and his health was too poor for him to continue. He was stoic. He never complained, he expected his wife to serve him and cater to him and he made no bones about that. He was an avid reader and was curious & knowledgeable about myriad topics. He was brilliant intellectually. He was beloved and deeply respected by his friends and peers but he was also polarizing, could be an ass hole if necessary and didn’t worry about what people thought. For this reason he was a great leader but a lousy diplomat/politician. He once ran for judge. He would have been an excellent arbiter but he couldn’t pander politically in order to win public favor. He was disappointed that he wasn’t elected and never ran again. There was a county prosecutor who was in his 80s when my father died. He and his wife (also in her 80s who were married 60+ years) drove 9 hours one way to attend my father’s funeral. After the service and reception they drove home 9 hours. People deeply respected my father, as did I.

He was very handsome. Women swooned over him. He was thrice married, and fooled around here & there. His 3rd wife was his mistress while he was married to my mom. My parents were married 20 years (and they were correct to divorce for a number of reasons) and my dad was married to his 3rd wife for 33 years, until his death.

So he wasn’t perfect. He had to step down as a church elder for example when the infidelity to my mother became known. Hypocrisy and all that.

I like the player archetype for a number of reasons. True players handle themselves in a way that creates sexual tension & desire, they do not become clingy or pandering, they cannot be conquered or made to submit to a woman’s will, and I am comfortable with this archetype likely due in part to similarly with my father, I also like the game itself...the psychology is fascinating. It’s not boring. Players also like the chase and the conquest...and not just in the sexual sense. Players are looking, in many cases for a “worthy adversary” (to quote Jordan Peterson) who will fascinate, engage and enthrall him. Also a woman who will have standards and stand up to him. Some are more willing to admit this than others, but a player eventually wants to be understood as a human being as all humans do. People seek relationships for deeper reasons than sex.

I realize that my perspective is different from a man’s in important ways. Those differences shed light on dynamics that may seem obvious to me...but not to a man...

Just as things men think are obvious or universal that may not seem obvious to me.

More shortly...

 

[BeExcellent]

It doesn’t matter that my relationships to this point have not lasted. I do not consider them failures because a relationship is made of of two dynamic individuals together. I am only ever 50% of any relationship that I am in and it is not my job to manage another adult. It is my job to manage myself and that is a process of personal evolution through life, whether we are paired or unpaired. I think being in close relationship comports deeper meaning on an individual’s life, but that is my opinion.

To assign one party responsibility for the dissolution of a relationship is shortsighted. There are always three sides. His and her perceptions and then the objective facts.

I am still growing as a person and I have learned much about the male psyche here which has helped me to better understand men as well as myself. I have matured in the sense of boundaries along the way. I have been too tolerant and too patient at times. Other times I have been too impatient or quick to judge. I am human and imperfect just as we all are in our own way. I accept that, have peace about it, and try not to worry too much about things I cannot control, such as other people.

I do not feel internal chaos. I feel peace. Gratitude. Love.

But reaching this level of growth has been a process. Maturation is always a process.

I feel the best way to exist for a man is to be a safe place for him and to seek to understand him and accept him as he is. That is over and above being feminine & attractive etc. Its deeper actually.

 

[metalwater]

@metalwater

So he wasn’t perfect. He had to step down as a church elder for example when the infidelity to my mother became known. Hypocrisy and all that.

thanks; I learned something about this from what you write.

For you; is it ok or at least acceptable for your LTR to have a side bet or other women as long as they do everything else you like?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

@metalwater it’s interesting. I personally view alpha as leadership and sex appeal. But to me personally all the traits you mentioned (respect, wisdom, strength and principals) that you say men see as alpha determine leadership.

Status, in a material sense is less important to me.

My father was tall at 6’4” and built like John Wayne...carried himself with that same presence. He was a very successful attorney, argued and won before the US Supreme Court and was appointed as an assistant Attorney General in my state. He was decisive and physically imposing. He was an elder in our church for years and taught an adult Sunday school class for 35 years until he was in his 80s and his health was too poor for him to continue. He was stoic. He never complained, he expected his wife to serve him and cater to him and he made no bones about that. He was an avid reader and was curious & knowledgeable about myriad topics. He was brilliant intellectually. He was beloved and deeply respected by his friends and peers but he was also polarizing, could be an ass hole if necessary and didn’t worry about what people thought. For this reason he was a great leader but a lousy diplomat/politician. He once ran for judge. He would have been an excellent arbiter but he couldn’t pander politically in order to win public favor. He was disappointed that he wasn’t elected and never ran again. There was a county prosecutor who was in his 80s when my father died. He and his wife (also in her 80s who were married 60+ years) drove 9 hours one way to attend my father’s funeral. After the service and reception they drove home 9 hours. People deeply respected my father, as did I.

He was very handsome. Women swooned over him. He was thrice married, and fooled around here & there. His 3rd wife was his mistress while he was married to my mom. My parents were married 20 years (and they were correct to divorce for a number of reasons) and my dad was married to his 3rd wife for 33 years, until his death.

So he wasn’t perfect. He had to step down as a church elder for example when the infidelity to my mother became known. Hypocrisy and all that.

I like the player archetype for a number of reasons. True players handle themselves in a way that creates sexual tension & desire, they do not become clingy or pandering, they cannot be conquered or made to submit to a woman’s will, and I am comfortable with this archetype likely due in part to similarly with my father, I also like the game itself...the psychology is fascinating. It’s not boring. Players also like the chase and the conquest...and not just in the sexual sense. Players are looking, in many cases for a “worthy adversary” (to quote Jordan Peterson) who will fascinate, engage and enthrall him. Also a woman who will have standards and stand up to him. Some are more willing to admit this than others, but a player eventually wants to be understood as a human being as all humans do. People seek relationships for deeper reasons than sex.

I realize that my perspective is different from a man’s in important ways. Those differences shed light on dynamics that may seem obvious to me...but not to a man...

Just as things men think are obvious or universal that may not seem obvious to me.

More shortly...

I thought your parents stayed married-I must have read what I wanted to read back in March sometime, lol, my bad