Don’t be so afraid of the friend zone..

[cola]

Short post today, at the car wash just thinking:

I’ve had about six women who were adamant that we are “just friends” and eventually let me have no strings attatched sex with them.

Had I followed common advice and did the whole song and dance about not needing more friends, it wouldn’t have happened.

Example One: Room mate & I had planned double date to flux pavilion edm show. My date flaked, his didn’t. In last minute desperation, I called a friendzoner and asked her if she was free I had an extra ticket. I expected nothing but after concert she was suddenly “too sleepy to drive home” ..
She gave me no resistance, no strings attached sex.

Example Two: Ex coworker who friend zoned me posted on Facebook she was “bored” .. I suggested going out for drinks ..

We took turns buying rounds because you know, we’re just friends. Ironically enough she was also “too tired to drive home” .. Came inside my house, went upstairs without being asked, informed me “she ALWAYS sleeps naked”, can’t sleep otherwise .. and gave me no resistance no strings attached sex ..

Similar scenarios have happened to me 3-4 more times, so don’t write girls off who say they only want to be your friend ..
What they mean is they don’t want to be your girl, doesn’t mean they won’t sleep with you. So just be chill, and go with their flow sometimes ..

Cars done, g2g.. peace

 

[Robert28]

I can give you hundreds, if not thousands, of examples where the friendzone never led to sex. It’s best to avoid it because it’s more headache than it’s worth in my experience.

 

[Medina]

I agree

The key is indifference. They probably knew your intention, and you didn't act weird when you didn't get it. You just carried on as normal and chill

These women think to themselves "this guy is level headed and not clingy or a creep". I've been there

The guys that fail in the friend zone are the ones that have no indifference, they are clinging onto her in the hopes of an exclusive relationship

This drys up the vagina

 

[Deep State]

This is a great template for modern, me too era dating. I like the double date idea, could be edm show, or apple picking, or wine tasting or whatever. The one on one date should be fine too, but I think the double date is a solid option if the girl feels she doesn't know you that well.

The part I really like is that female "too sleepy to drive" line. That's a great female line. From a female perspective, this is initiative.

I think pre me too, a significant number of girls expected the guy to initiate "everything". In the me too era and going forward, the girl is going to have to give the guy some hint as to whether this is really a "just friends" thing, or if it is more of a let's hang out a bit longer by ourselves and see what happens kind of thing.

 

[Robert28]

I agree

The key is indifference. They probably knew your intention, and you didn't act weird when you didn't get it. You just carried on as normal and chill

These women think to themselves "this guy is level headed and not clingy or a creep". I've been there

The guys that fail in the friend zone are the ones that have no indifference, they are clinging onto her in the hopes of an exclusive relationship

This drys up the vagina

Sorry but not every guy can become a psychopath that doesn’t have feelings for anyone. Indifference is one thing, but the friendzone ain’t a good place to be. That sh!t sucks and it’s ruined a lot of men and scarred them from past experiences. The friendzone is where you’ll get yourself used if you aren’t careful and if you refuse to do favors then guess what, you ain’t of much use to her as a “friend”. That’s why it’s best to just decline it from the start. If women want to take away the stigma of the friendzone then they’re going to have to work hard to show that friendships are 50/50. Instead they’re running around with this smear campaign about “the friendzone doesn’t exist!”

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Short post today, at the car wash just thinking:

I’ve had about six women who were adamant that we are “just friends” and eventually let me have no strings attatched sex with them.

Had I followed common advice and did the whole song and dance about not needing more friends, it wouldn’t have happened.

Example One: Room mate & I had planned double date to flux pavilion edm show. My date flaked, his didn’t. In last minute desperation, I called a friendzoner and asked her if she was free I had an extra ticket. I expected nothing but after concert she was suddenly “too sleepy to drive home” ..
She gave me no resistance, no strings attached sex.

Example Two: Ex coworker who friend zoned me posted on Facebook she was “bored” .. I suggested going out for drinks ..

We took turns buying rounds because you know, we’re just friends. Ironically enough she was also “too tired to drive home” .. Came inside my house, went upstairs without being asked, informed me “she ALWAYS sleeps naked”, can’t sleep otherwise .. and gave me no resistance no strings attached sex ..

Similar scenarios have happened to me 3-4 more times, so don’t write girls off who say they only want to be your friend ..
What they mean is they don’t want to be your girl, doesn’t mean they won’t sleep with you. So just be chill, and go with their flow sometimes ..

Cars done, g2g.. peace

I came to the same conclusion Years ago and matching up my experiences with the "dreaded" friend zone. Most of the women I smashed was when I was in the friend zone, as well as many of my friends in the same situation. It's really not that bad just have boundaries

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Most of the guys on this board are very fearful of it. It makes me wonder how many women they interacted with their whole life

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The difference is he has alot of other stuff going on vs the friendzone guy that hangs in there for a relationship.

 

[Robert28]

Most of the guys on this board are very fearful of it. It makes me wonder how many women they interacted with their whole life

I’ve been friendzoned twice. Both times I moved on by meeting someone else never to interact with the friendzone girl again. Why would I? If she wants to run around and call me a friend that’s fine, but my effort and attention are better used on someone else. The OP wasn’t in the friendzone I’m afraid, yeah they might have been friends but the friendzone is where your self esteem and time goes to die. Friendzoner women will keep you from meeting other women, they’ll take up just enough of your time where you can’t meet other women. You basically HAVE to cut them off. It’s basically a form of an abusive relationship.

 

[harrison9876]

I was friends with an HB9 many years ago. GORGEOUS. 5'10", looked like Halle Berry...

I used to get her to drive me home from school once a week. She was hot...but I did not go for her. I basically had my pick of any girl I wanted at the school at that time. I was INDIFFERENT without a DOUBT.

One night as she dropped me off, I asked her up for a drink, and she gave me a "really??" - like an "OMG, your asking ME up for a drink? HELL YA!".

One of my best lays...she was awesome...BUT...soon after she reverted me back to the friendzone, as she was also dating her agent (she was a model with Ford)...and I became hooked on her.

For some reason, I was HOOOOOOKED big time on this girl. She became a major challenge, and I ACCEPTED a friendzone relationship with her...hoping and praying she would come around. Yup...I went DIRECT from C&F Alpha to beta orbiter...

It sucked. Especially as she was dating other guys and knowing she "just wanted to be friends" with me. She went from GUY TO GUY over the course of a year or two...and never looked back at me ONCE. This was due from the DIRECT RESULT of me being a beta orbiter - NOTHING MORE. I was just "her friend"...and she LOVED having me around as she knew I liked her and wanted more.

We had an on and off hook-up here and there over the course of a few years...but she never...EVER wanted more. In-fact we would fool around, and then I would never hear from her again for months.

There was a span of at least 2 years, when we never spoke to each other.

Once day...I called her out of the blue...and it turns out she moved back home to Ohio. For some reason, the DISTANCE KILLED whatever sub-conscious beta chasing orbiting crap I was displaying, and I actually talked to her AS A FRIEND. No flirting. No hitting on her. No talking about the past. I even talked **** with her about her exes (or current boyfriend) she was complaining about. I was just an ear, and someone to talk to. I think I called her once every 2-3 weeks or so.

I SHOWED NO DISPLAY OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN FRIENDSHIP.

After 3 months of this (maybe 10 phone conversations)...she admits she has a MAJOR crush on me, and is thinking of moving back to LA . She wanted to date me when she got here.

When I asked her why is it that she wants to get together now...after all these years:

her exact words - "you put me in the friendzone!"

In other words...she found it MORE attractive that I was no longer interested in her and DID NOT CARE ABOUT GETTING HER.

The sad thing is I actually DID NOT want her anymore. So when she told me this...I was actually a bit put off. Flattered...but the back of my mind was like..."ummmm...you sorta had your chance there, girl"...

That said...

As long as you are not chasing or orbiting...then having girls as friends I think is fine. The issue is most of the time when I am friends with a girl, it is because she already has a BF, and she is just a cool chick...OR I want to fvck her...and it places me (consciously and subconsciously) in a realm of wanting to call, get together, hang out, etc.

There is also a difference between being "friendly", being "friends", and being in the "friendzone". All of it has to do with how much time you are putting in.

For the most part "friendzone" means you are investing waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on one girl...and are now her girlfriend or beta orbiter. Not really being her "friend", but rather...a friend who is only calling, chatting, and inviting out as a way to get more than that.

The only time I have slept with a girl "friend" was when I did nothing. I did not pursue or beta orbit. Yes, I flirted or joked sexually...but I did not ask out, and made NO move on them whatsoever. They all initiated or made a move on me first.

Wish I could take my own advice...hahaha

 

[Robert28]

The difference is he has alot of other stuff going on vs the friendzone guy that hangs in there for a relationship.

It’s a sad world that we live in where you can be in your 30’s and 40’s and still have to maneuver through high school bs such as the friendzone. Women still using that tactic at this age are emotionally immature in my experience.

 

[JohnChops]

I agree

The key is indifference. They probably knew your intention, and you didn't act weird when you didn't get it. You just carried on as normal and chill

These women think to themselves "this guy is level headed and not clingy or a creep". I've been there

The guys that fail in the friend zone are the ones that have no indifference, they are clinging onto her in the hopes of an exclusive relationship

This drys up the vagina

100% this. its the difference between the guy who does not give 1 ****, doesnt call or text them, just doesn't care. Vs. the guy texting her every day, spilling his feelings out for her.

The later gets the lay, the former gets to jerk off.

 

[cola]

As long as you can control your feelings, I see almost 0 downside to having female friends. I mean everyone isn’t going to want to date you, and no right now doesn’t mean no later ..

- female opinion when you go shopping, can hook you up with their girlfriends, social proof.. pretty much every benefit as having a male friend ..

I mean it goes without saying, don’t let them use you, but if you let them, male friends will use your too right? We all have that male friend who always needs to borrow some cash, right?

 

[SW15]

This is how MOST people hook up btw. Social circles.

A large percentage of people meet longer term mates through their social circles, although fewer people are doing so now. This study shows that. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are comprised of people who have failed to put something together through their social circles.

It’s a sad world that we live in where you can be in your 30’s and 40’s and still have to maneuver through high school bs such as the friendzone. Women still using that tactic at this age are emotionally immature in my experience.

Agree complete. It is just another sign of a bad mating environment.

It’s best to avoid it because it’s more headache than it’s worth in my experience.

Every interaction with a female should be viewed through the lens of attracting a new sexual partner or retaining an existing partner. There should be intention to have sex in every interaction. An interaction without the intent to have sex is a waste of time and anti-masculine energy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It’s a sad world that we live in where you can be in your 30’s and 40’s and still have to maneuver through high school bs such as the friendzone. Women still using that tactic at this age are emotionally immature in my experience.

Robert28 a whole bunch of folk NEVER leave "high school"

 

[cola]

Cola what was the history of this Chic? Did you specifically tell her you were not into her or did she friend zone you?
Context is very important here to trully understand the power dynamic.

Fcking a friendzoned chic that you blew off as you said in your own post is "desperate"

Sure, met her at like a bar or something downtown.. we went on a date and she decided after to friend zone me..
Of course, at the time I was sleeping with 3-4 women and she wasn’t any better looking than my other plates, so I didn’t care even slightly. She texted me a few times over the next few months just shooting the sh*t and I’d shoot the sh*t back .. she would like a picture here or there on social media, I’d do the same.. I never pushed to set up a hangout or anything cause like I said I didn’t really care to.

Then the day my date flaked for my concert I hit her randomly and the text was like:
“Hey, I know you like edm. I had a date for this show in DC but she had an emergency.. if you can make it here in the next 90 minutes the tickets yours. “ For more context she lived 45 minutes away so she really only had 45 minutes to get ready.
She was excited about it, came, had a great time and then when we got back she was too sleepy to drive home.

 

[cola]

Every interaction with a female should be viewed through the lens of attracting a new sexual partner or retaining an existing partner. There should be intention to have sex in every interaction. An interaction without the intent to have sex is a waste of time and anti-masculine energy.

I disagree with this. You seriously can’t just have a female friend who’s cool and not want to bang her?

 

[SW15]

I disagree with this. You seriously can’t just have a female friend who’s cool and not want to bang her?

Not at all. I interact, I wish to bang.

 

[cola]

Not at all. I interact, I wish to bang.

That’s kinda weird dude.. some chicks have more to offer than vajayjay, I know some chicks are genuinely funny good people ..

 

[Mike32ct]

You can be friends with women; you just have to know what you are doing.

1. If you're the type of guy that has hooked up with female "friends" before and/or was able to successfully meet other women that way, great.

2. If you're the type of guy who generally doesn't get to hook up with female friends, you can still be around them as practice as long as you know the deal and aren't delusional about it.

It's only really a problem for guys that are secretly hoping to hook up with chicks that they realistically have no chance with.

Now I respect the point that some make about, "A guy shouldn't be around women in a non-sexual way." But if a guy has NO women that he's interacting with and is in a dry spell, he may need to start somewhere. It's at least a progression from "Creep Zone" where no female wants to go near him to "Friend Zone" where they aren't attracted but not running for the door either lol.