The game of marriage chicken

[Lynx nkaf]

Right. They are more apt to use cunning and manipulation. Oh and group politics.

keep them out of groups then

 

[metalwater]

keep them out of groups then

exactly. the party line is to not care about it and just next them if they go get in a group and do the group thing. it is called a social circle and is proven and endorsed by many as the number one way for men/women to hook up. regardless of relationship status. the group think will infest or free the girls decsision from an emotional angle, 99% of the time. the power that a man feels from takeing advantage of this is overwhelming and will do it again and again, it leads him to feel like he is alpha. what goes on in womans mind when this is occureing is a mystery, but the actions and results are really consistent accross many different groups with women and men mixed.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

exactly. the party line is to not care about it and just next them if they go get in a group and do the group thing. it is called a social circle and is proven and endorsed by many as the number one way for men/women to hook up. regardless of relationship status. the group think will infest or free the girls decsision from an emotional angle, 99% of the time. the power that a man feels from takeing advantage of this is overwhelming and will do it again and again, it leads him to feel like he is alpha. what goes on in womans mind when this is occureing is a mystery, but the actions and results are really consistent accross many different groups with women and men mixed.

that's observant

 

[lamath]

Part of the problem too is that men need to be needed. They need to feel masculine & manly and feel the woman needs them to be her hero in a way (sometimes in a literal sense).

Highly accomplished professional women don’t really NEED a man. This is a turn off for men. The tough thing many of these women have to learn is that too much independence is a turn off to the best guys out there. Learning to remain feminine while taking care of all of one’s needs can be a delicate balance. But if these women can manage to adjust their attitudes and be more feminine then they can compete in the compatibility department as well as bring solid traits such as intelligence, education and poise to the relationship. But to seek “equality” in a relationship is not going to work with the most sought after men. Good luck with that.

Men and women are supposed to be complimentary in relationships, not equal. The relationship realm is very different than the professional realm. Many women have a tough time digesting that.

Spot on

I also think that many of those professional women overvalue themself, thinking that what they find attracting in men is the same that men find attractive in women.

From what ive seen they are also very difficult and are often asking for alot more than what men are asking from them creating a power imbalance.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

keep them out of groups then

You can't do that. All you can do is release. If what was your gf or wife is allowing a group to control her and thus control you, it's over. Someone who cares about you would not allow their groups to influence them in ways that are detrimental to you.

 

[metalwater]

Part of the problem too is that men need to be needed. They need to feel masculine & manly and feel the woman needs them to be her hero in a way (sometimes in a literal sense).

Highly accomplished professional women don’t really NEED a man. This is a turn off for men. The tough thing many of these women have to learn is that too much independence is a turn off to the best guys out there. Learning to remain feminine while taking care of all of one’s needs can be a delicate balance. But if these women can manage to adjust their attitudes and be more feminine then they can compete in the compatibility department as well as bring solid traits such as intelligence, education and poise to the relationship. But to seek “equality” in a relationship is not going to work with the most sought after men. Good luck with that.

Men and women are supposed to be complimentary in relationships, not equal. The relationship realm is very different than the professional realm. Many women have a tough time digesting that.

you have some good agreement on this one; from me also.

needing to be needed. opposites of that demonstrate not needing a specific man. most men would want to be needed but just them, not also needing all the other men around. those are competitors. if the girl accepts attention from a competitor, the translation is that she does not need the specific man she is with because there are options for her. for me, I don't think men care so much about if the girl is more wealthy until that translates into accepting attention from other men. she might do that because she feels secure that she does not need her chosen man and therefore can not give deep respect because after all she does not need him. but she might need/want validation attention, after having worked supper hard and dedicated to success ppl should notice otherwise what is the point of it all.

accepting attention from other men is toxic to the relationship. it is socially acceptable these days and men who complain are shamed about being insecure. (and yes there are men that are really a mess no matter what). we see men post to either ignore it or next the girl or do the same. but we consistently see the same question/issue over and over and over so we know it bothers many men when girls accept attention from a competitor. if she reciprocates, it is of course blatant disrespect, just the vibe of receiving is enough for a normal or above testosterone enable man to notice. not sure what the real answer is, but this is a something that does happen and can be the root of decay for an otherwise great relationship. it happened to me... when I was low test, I could not notice. meaning it occurs on a hidden channel that we do not think about until the decay is more advanced.

it is about the energy flowing..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

you have some good agreement on this one; from me also.

needing to be needed. opposites of that demonstrate not needing a specific man. most men would want to be needed but just them, not also needing all the other men around. those are competitors. if the girl accepts attention from a competitor, the translation is that she does not need the specific man she is with because there are options for her. for me, I don't think men care so much about if the girl is more wealthy until that translates into accepting attention from other men. she might do that because she feels secure that she does not need her chosen man and therefore can not give deep respect because after all she does not need him. but she might need/want validation attention, after having worked supper hard and dedicated to success ppl should notice otherwise what is the point of it all.

accepting attention from other men is toxic to the relationship. it is socially acceptable these days and men who complain are shamed about being insecure. (and yes there are men that are really a mess no matter what). we see men post to either ignore it or next the girl or do the same. but we consistently see the same question/issue over and over and over so we know it bothers many men when girls accept attention from a competitor. if she reciprocates, it is of course blatant disrespect, just the vibe of receiving is enough for a normal or above testosterone enable man to notice. not sure what the real answer is, but this is a something that does happen and can be the root of decay for an otherwise great relationship. it happened to me... when I was low test, I could not notice. meaning it occurs on a hidden channel that we do not think about until the decay is more advanced.

it is about the energy flowing..

When she allows another to communicate on certain channels it "knocks you out of there". Thus when you try to engage in a way she just engaged in she might get pissed for no reason. Or you just might notice that the signal strength died.

In relationships most certainty certain convos should be avoided even in "fun and games", but you can't control them. They have to respect you enough not to do it.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

You can't do that. All you can do is release. If what was your gf or wife is allowing a group to control her and thus control you, it's over. Someone who cares about you would not allow their groups to influence them in ways that are detrimental to you.

but if women are similar to children you must step in and remove them from that group!
If I was a man I would use my leadership to do this without hesitation. They might pout for awhile but at least they and you and the 'us' are safer.
Easy to say hard to do, I know.

I swear I was female daydreaming today about how things could have been different if I removed the ex from his groups that were evil to him.
#1 I'm not a man so it would just look like bpd control freak thing instead of leadership
#2 he would refuse and defend those groups without seeing how it would save the 'us'

its all ****ed up, all because I thought I saw his truck again on my route to work, I got fantasizing, lol

 

[metalwater]

but if women are similar to children you must step in and remove them from that group!
If I was a man I would use my leadership to do this without hesitation. They might pout for awhile but at least they and you and the 'us' are safer.
Easy to say hard to do, I know.

I swear I was female daydreaming today about how things could have been different if I removed the ex from his groups that were evil to him.
#1 I'm not a man so it would just look like bpd control freak thing instead of leadership
#2 he would refuse and defend those groups without seeing how it would save the 'us'

its all ****ed up, all because I thought I saw his truck again on my route to work, I got fantasizing, lol

you just described a controlling man that is insecure.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

you just described a controlling man that is insecure.

did I?
but even if he can explain and prove how much better the "our" life would be?
Are men not allowed ownership for leading the relationships anymore?

omg, I would be a controlling insecure man?
And that's how I think a man should be but I call it dominant and natural leader who makes decisions for the relationship.
Mindblown tonight.

 

[metalwater]

did I?
but even if he can explain and prove how much better the "our" life would be?
Are men not allowed ownership for leading the relationships anymore?

omg, I would be a controlling insecure man?
And that's how I think a man should be but I call it dominant and natural leader who makes decisions for the relationship.
Mindblown tonight.

cool. i was of course being sarcastic.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

keep them out of groups then

Some of them feel if they didn't use their "group" empowerment approach that it would be "better" for their man. I'm like duh if your with him, wouldn't you want him to have a leg up on society due to your interaction? Most folks just view the man or the woman as a "crutch" or extra "lift" in their life, they not worried about them or what they giving...

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Some of them feel if they didn't use their "group" empowerment approach that it would be "better" for their man. I'm like duh if your with him, wouldn't you want him to have a leg up on society due to your interaction? Most folks just view the man or the woman as a "crutch" or extra "lift" in their life, they not worried about them or what they giving...

that comes back down to who is the supporter and who is the breadwinner. Be, I think, said something similar in that when a man has all the financial earning and control in relationship then he's the one with the power, hands down. That obviously only leaves the supporter role to the female if she's astute enough to not bite the hand that feeds her.
I wonder where she wrote that here. It was recent.
I'm going to try to make more effort to remember who's thread I'm in and directly invite the OP @MatureDJ for his comment or opinion or thought.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

that comes back down to who is the supporter and who is the breadwinner. Be, I think, said something similar in that when a man has all the financial earning and control in relationship then he's the one with the power, hands down. That obviously only leaves the supporter role to the female if she's astute enough to not bite the hand that feeds her.
I wonder where she wrote that here. It was recent.
I'm going to try to make more effort to remember who's thread I'm in and directly invite the OP @MatureDJ for his comment or opinion or thought.

I'm hearing a whole bunch of the ladies think that somehow if they "Grease" his life or do things to make him too much better, that "it's better for him", and thus it's not good for "her". I think she wants to feel like she's "winning", and an easy way to do this, is to gain control of the guy and put yourself over the top of him. Then they feel like they are "winning". My thing is if it's a group and "team" effort, shouldn't you both feel like you are "winning" when your reaching your joint objectives? Why does it have to be one over the other?

And we know on this site, when a woman gets "over" her man, it might satisfy her need for control, but she will look at that as a non sexually desireable man. So in that light, it's tough for both people?

How do a man and a woman interact in a way in todays era so that both feel they are "winning" in the interaction?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I'm hearing a whole bunch of the ladies think that somehow if they "Grease" his life or do things to make him too much better, that "it's better for him", and thus it's not good for "her". I think she wants to feel like she's "winning", and an easy way to do this, is to gain control of the guy and put yourself over the top of him. Then they feel like they are "winning". My thing is if it's a group and "team" effort, shouldn't you both feel like you are "winning" when your reaching your joint objectives? Why does it have to be one over the other?

And we know on this site, when a woman gets "over" her man, it might satisfy her need for control, but she will look at that as a non sexually desireable man. So in that light, it's tough for both people?

How do a man and a woman interact in a way in todays era so that both feel they are "winning" in the interaction?

billion dollar question right there, lol.
Money and sex have to have unshakeable, immoveable roles.

My girl Mrs. M idwest youtuber has the theme of being taunted for her homemaker role running throughout several of her vlogs. Good for her for living the alternative life with her husband.

Imagine that's called "alternative" now. lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

billion dollar question right there, lol.
Money and sex have to have unshakeable, immoveable roles.

My girl Mrs. M idwest youtuber has the theme of being taunted for her homemaker role running throughout several of her vlogs. Good for her for living the alternative life with her husband.

Imagine that's called "alternative" now. lol

That's pretty wild. They are probably hazing and harassing her for it. Because if she treats her man so good, the rest of them are expected to and she's making it bad for the rest of them, because other guys might want it like that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's pretty wild. They are probably hazing and harassing her for it. Because if she treats her man so good, the rest of them are expected to and she's making it bad for the rest of them, because other guys might want it like that.

She's probably being threatened.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've clung to reading Older-written books over the last 5 years, so pre-1970 is usually my cutoff. So on a tip, I discovered Inglis Fletcher's Carolina Series of historical fiction of the way our people lived 1500s up until 1800. It was like romance novels from before, but she did include a Lot of real names, real dates, real events, real tools used, house items used, methods of doing things around the house, tradition, omens, superstitions, clearing the land, long spouts away from the plantation then back home then off again on horse for a year from family then back again briefly, affairs, illegitimate children, accidents, death. One thing I noticed was her description of the ages of women and the "old maid" thing. There'd be a young sister say around 16 who was begging or pleading with her mother or caregiver or older sister that she was going to marry or be with this boy (man maybe a year or 2 older) "no matter what and you can't stop me!" and she'd compare herself to when her sister or cousin whatever got married around her age. Women back then were YEARNING to get married ASAP cause they were in pure dependence mode (due to survival or that's just how it is, doesn't matter - I think that it was just 100s of 1000s of years of evolution or nature playing upon the women's urge to find their rock early on - EVIL social engineers in our society have flipped our women on their heads, it's sad, but it cannot last without utter destruction or Genocide of a people or RACE).

 

[MatureDJ]

I've clung to reading Older-written books over the last 5 years, so pre-1970 is usually my cutoff. So on a tip, I discovered Inglis Fletcher's Carolina Series of historical fiction of the way our people lived 1500s up until 1800. It was like romance novels from before, but she did include a Lot of real names, real dates, real events, real tools used, house items used, methods of doing things around the house, tradition, omens, superstitions, clearing the land, long spouts away from the plantation then back home then off again on horse for a year from family then back again briefly, affairs, illegitimate children, accidents, death. One thing I noticed was her description of the ages of women and the "old maid" thing. There'd be a young sister say around 16 who was begging or pleading with her mother or caregiver or older sister that she was going to marry or be with this boy (man maybe a year or 2 older) "no matter what and you can't stop me!" and she'd compare herself to when her sister or cousin whatever got married around her age. Women back then were YEARNING to get married ASAP cause they were in pure dependence mode (due to survival or that's just how it is, doesn't matter - I think that it was just 100s of 1000s of years of evolution or nature playing upon the women's urge to find their rock early on - EVIL social engineers in our society have flipped our women on their heads, it's sad, but it cannot last without utter destruction or Genocide of a people or RACE).

Yes, I like "Fiddler On The Roof" because the 20 year old was considered an "old maid".

I was doing some genealogical research the other day, and I discovered a maternal ancestor that had 19 children total , first getting married at age 13, then widowing 3 men until my paternal ancestor did the Beta thing with her then 14 children. (I'll bet he was the shortest. ) Of course, there were some teenage boys in that brood, so maybe he got cheap labor for his farm.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes, I like "Fiddler On The Roof" because the 20 year old was considered an "old maid".

I was doing some genealogical research the other day, and I discovered a maternal ancestor that had 19 children total , first getting married at age 13, then widowing 3 men until my paternal ancestor did the Beta thing with her then 14 children. (I'll bet he was the shortest. ) Of course, there were some teenage boys in that brood, so maybe he got cheap labor for his farm.

"The widower"