AMA about girls with BPD

[mrgoodstuff]

I have to get some sleep, excuse me. After just being prideful about getting better sleeps then I realise its almost midnight. lol

Prideful is okay. If we don't take care of ourselves no one else will.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Prideful is okay. If we don't take care of ourselves no one else will.

Yes. I know this now.

Its hard to kill off the princess, let me tell you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I edited that btw.
and another edit I can add now is "....him to share in, partake in"

I just read in one of the other threads how someone described it better than me. But I'll try.

When you unload your chit on a guy, who's playing cap'n save-a-hoe or white knight?
All the complaining about your personal life is dumped on him. I guess because you think he can heal you. He seems to be such a rapt and attentive listener.
But he's codependent.

And it becomes like a forcing. A relationship pattern of communicating where he listens in quiet desperation out of perceived love for you?

But when you said that we were talking about how a ex gf or wife gets energized outta fvcking up your day or your plans.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes. I know this now.

Its hard to kill off the princess, let me tell you.

What you mean by its hard to kill off the princess?

 

[Spaz]

Another BPD thread?

Next time people, just admit that you allowed urself to be bullied by a weak women.

And then ask urself, r u even a man?

That's gonna cure ur noob azz of future BPD's.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

But when you said that we were talking about how a ex gf or wife gets energized outta fvcking up your day or your plans.

I have to reread the threads in the order I did yesterday. To properly reply. I was loopy/tired last night too. Its a densely heavy emotional topic.
What I'll do, after my bikeride after work, I'll take my journal and cursive write it out.
May I have a few days to properly reply?
This is immensely helpful but painful too.

I really should have more pen on paper notes from Sosuave rather than over 1500 screenshots of good words that I haven't collated or analysed for my own life yet.
If that all makes sense.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have to reread the threads in the order I did yesterday. To properly reply. I was loopy/tired last night too. Its a densely heavy emotional topic.
What I'll do, after my bikeride after work, I'll take my journal and cursive write it out.
May I have a few days to properly reply?
This is immensely helpful but painful too.

I really should have more pen on paper notes from Sosuave rather than over 1500 screenshots of good words that I haven't collated or analysed for my own life yet.
If that all makes sense.

yea

 

[Lynx nkaf]

1. Raging doesn't usually happen until you are past the honeymoon phase and into devaluation. Then if you say no to her thats when it happens. Not all are Ragers though.

2. They belive most of what they are saying during love bombing because they think you can make them happy (basically that you can make their mental illness go away) but obviously once they realize thats not true you become just a dissapointing for them and they start looking for the next saviour.

3. It's not that they get bored its that they realize you didn't make them better. There is also a big fear of intimacy factor which means they will feel like they need to escape if they sense you are getting too close to them. This is why you get the best results by being pretty aloof with them.

good post

 

[Billtx49]

1. Raging doesn't usually happen until you are past the honeymoon phase and into devaluation. Then if you say no to her thats when it happens. Not all are Ragers though.


This is why you get the best results by being pretty aloof with them.

They’re not all verbal rage oriented, some are harshly physical also. Was past honeymoon phase, living together, and cooking one of my gourmet dinners, she asks a question I didn’t have time to answer, next thing I know she’s in the kitchen trying to physically slam me against the wall twice. Former USMC don’t react well to that, but I held it together.…
They All seem sane until the crazy pops out over nothing…

Yes, being aloof and keeping your distance works best, that’s where their attraction is at its highest level…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Too many guys confuse LOSS of interest, with BDP

When a chick stops feeling for you, or you have let her get away with disrespect over a period of time, she will treat you like UTTER garbage.

This how some woman roll.. It does not mean she is mentally ill.. Just simply means she doesn't care any longer, and when this happens.. Woman can be extremely cruel and CONFUSING

When she gains control on you and you lose SELF-CONTROL this is the position you get into.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

They’re not all verbal rage oriented, some are harshly physical also. Was past honeymoon phase, living together, and cooking one of my gourmet dinners, she asks a question I didn’t have time to answer, next thing I know she’s in the kitchen trying to physically slam me against the wall twice. Former USMC don’t react well to that, but I held it together.…
They All seem sane until the crazy pops out over nothing…

Yes, being aloof and keeping your distance works best, that’s where their attraction is at its highest level…

Zero tolerance for violence.
Oh, I feel ill. Ill these BPD's exist.
Ill that guys on Sosuave have had poor experiences.
Ill that I have displayed some of the same traits. Ill that I allowed/volunteered to be affected by a person who had some of these traits.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Therein lies the problem.
His only option was to ghost them both.

He gave this girl unconditional trust. Trust is earned and a healthy person should make a person earn it.

I agree.

 

[Billtx49]

Zero tolerance for violence.
Oh, I feel ill. Ill these BPD's exist.
Ill that guys on Sosuave have had poor experiences.
Ill that I have displayed some of the same traits. Ill that I allowed/volunteered to be affected by a person who had some of these traits.

It’s best to believe that what’s in the past stays there and can’t ever be changed…

 

[Lynx nkaf]

It’s best to believe that what’s in the past stays there and can’t ever be changed…

Yeah! Thanks, that gave me a burst of energy. I'm done with the grieving and enmeshment of psychoanalysing past relationships.
I'm not obliged to answer questions to a new date about my past. I can't remember when I was taught that I was supposed to.
Volunteered to be a victim at times.
So what.
They were mistakes.
I'm stronger now and that's whats important.

What if I never wrote about, talked about or even thought about past relationships anymore?
What would my day look like? What would I accomplish?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Yall, on fire today.

off topic:
Don't mean to be lurk-y by visiting people's profiles, but noticed you had a birthday the other day. Happy belated stringpuller.

 

[Spaz]

I used to believe the BPD story. Now I think its rare. Looking back it was completely avoidable had i been woke at the time.

I posted a vid yesterday of that kid gf/cheated with bestfriend. Go to the part were it dawned on him what was going on. When he busted her.
He chased, and chased, chased. He even asked her how many times they fcked.
Therein lies the problem.
His only option was to ghost them both.

He gave this girl unconditional trust. Trust is earned and a healthy person should make a person earn it.

BPD, succubus, evil demoness, she-devil, innocent looking but has hidden violent tendencies and even with 10000000 different types - if a man doesn't allow himself to be bullied then it ain't a problem is it?

If a man is firm with his boundaries, she would be kicked to the curb wouldn't she?

But if a man is like a jellyfish who floats with the rise and fall of a tide, don't blame the tide for leaving you stranded on the beach....drying out under the hot sun.

Blame urself for being a jellyfish.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Thanks man. Its cool i think everyone here is lurky lol

lol, oh its probably true. I treat SoSuave as class-in-session. By your age, you'd be in my grade.

 

[Spaz]

Yes. Its our responsibility to vet these girls. Being fooled as a beta and s noob is one thing.
But turning a blind eye to a disrespectful woman is a future trainwreck.

There's no need to vet women, today she can be an angel and yet the next day she could be a demonic witch.

Women are not men.

Women are the product of their environment, meaning they will mirror the men they're with at any given moment.

Some of the men you see who has a great wife right now, I'm certain that at some time in the past his wife was a slut.

 

[zinc4]

For example. After we first met in person (we talked for a couple weeks on the phone because she was staying at her parents all summer) she to pick me up from my halfway house to go to these Chinese buffet. I always drove her car. But this stupid b1tch from Connecticut was trying hard to cut in front of me on the freeway when there was plenty of space behind me, so i just got as close to car in front of me as i could and said "fvck this b1tch, trying cut me" so after a few minutes and tries this woman moved on way ahead of me and cut over.

My ex was telling me to let her in and i said "**** no, shes an idiot I'm not going to let someone like that in because they're driving like a retard" and i stopped talking. I was tired aftet working a manual labor job in 90 degree weather for 10 hours and i was a bit moody. She just repeated herself "no you should have let her in" and it almost pissed me off, but i just dropped it. It was the way she said it too.

Or she'd try and start arguments and when i started taking kratom again, that stuff makes me irritable and sometimes a bit paranoid. It just makes me kind of emotional to because i become more needy (in terms of physical affection) because frankly it makes me feel good and makes it feel good to give and receive affection.

Now you have to understand i didn't work for like 7 months when i first moved in with her. When we started getting into little spats a few times i jst started taking it a lot to the point that's all i did. I would donate plasma just to get money to get kratom. But also i did kratom instead of drinking because i needed something.

We had some bad fights where i went apesh1t. I litterally ripped a door off the wall once. Man she would wait for me to get a little heated and when i did, she'd stop responding, she wouldn't look at me or say anything, except to talk a little sh1t and i was already angry. Sometimes she'd straight up deny something that was obviously true just to argue.

She'd disagree with me when having a casual conversation when she was 100% wrong. She told me all about her childhood and one time i brought up how sometimes her mom "showed she cared in a strange way" ( her mom is Cambodian and would put her kids down a lot) and how when her mom would go off on her, that it was attention even if negative attention. Shr litterally just said "no it's not" to wish i calmly explained why it was. She would just disagree and then straight up ignore anything i said after that. She would deny doin this too. For a long time i just ignored it. But over time it just kept eating away at me to the point id call her out on it, or call her out on staright to giving me the cold shoulder for no reason.

Ah, I'm drinking kratom right now. It doesn't affect me that way...just makes me feel content and more relaxed. Will dehydrate u like crazy though. Also just ate a brownie. Good combo after working out or running.

About your girl....lol don't go ripping doors because a woman. Not sure on the bi polar thing though for her based on what u said.....a lot of them are thiugh

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@Infern0 makes a good point with being aloof the only thing that sustains their interest, because they crave to be ignored and abused. The problem is if you go out of your way to do this you're messing your own psyche up. If you get into an LTR with a BPD that doesn't seek treatment after a while you start asking yourself wtf you're doing with her.

At a point if you want something deeper like a family or even a stronger union an aloof or objectifying attitude is no longer constructive and actually detrimental. A BPD sees empathy as weakness, so she runs at the sight of it.

The only way you get into an LTR with a BPD is by repeatedly giving her the benefit of the doubt and not holding her accountable, otherwise she'd be gone within a few months. If deep down you know this then don't fear exercising your principles. It's inevitable that you dismiss her or you allow her psyche to corrupt yours, don't let it be the latter.

Don't force an aloof state, you'll just screw up your head. Get busy and successful enough until it manifests naturally.