What's your relationship like with your mother?

[Medina]

And has it affected your relationships with women?

I've come to realize my attitude towards my mother is quite unusual but it may have helped me tbh. She's a great mom but I never really returned the love. On the contrary- I always laughed at her misfortune, even in pain or upset. I never craved her even as a baby and was always independent & emotionally distant. My brothers on the other hand are devoted to her. And thus more needy. Grated I am the eldest child and Eldest's are normally a bit of an azzhole. But my feelings towards her has always been "meh" for no particular reason and I do wonder if this a blessing or a curse

 

[Spaz]

From ur post it'd be reasonable to assume that ur mom doesn't hold you in high regard and despite ur assertion, you desire it or at least want to be acknowledged of ur own perception of worth.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I'm thankful for my mother in teaching me what woman to avoid! As for our current relationship, that's another story for another day.

I LOVE independent, successful woman with their own $$. Pretty much all I've dated through out my 30s & into 40s. Just an once of co-dependency, I can smell it a mile away. Makes me kinda naseous. These woman tend to know what they want as well. But then there are some that are not as submissive as you hoped, which is fine too.

But YES to answer 1 of your 2 part question, it definitely has affected my RL with woman. Definitely for the better I believe.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And has it affected your relationships with women?

I've come to realize my attitude towards my mother is quite unusual but it may have helped me tbh. She's a great mom but I never really returned the love. On the contrary- I always laughed at her misfortune, even in pain or upset. I never craved her even as a baby and was always independent & emotionally distant. My brothers on the other hand are devoted to her. And thus more needy. Grated I am the eldest child and Eldest's are normally a bit of an azzhole. But my feelings towards her has always been "meh" for no particular reason and I do wonder if this a blessing or a curse

How the hell do you know what you did as a baby?

 

[Medina]

From ur post it'd be reasonable to assume that ur mom doesn't hold you in high regard and despite ur assertion, you desire it or at least want to be acknowledged of ur own perception of worth.

In 20+ years of being on the internet that's the most inaccurate presumption I've ever read

Congratulations

 

[Spaz]

In 20+ years of being on the internet that's the most inaccurate presumption I've ever read

Congratulations

Ain't me bringing up my mommy issues online.

And if it ain't a problem, it wouldn't even cross ur mind.

 

[Medina]

Right...

So if anyone else wants to answer the question that'd be good

 

[Spaz]

Right...

So if anyone else wants to answer the question that'd be good

You seem to dislike ur mom, care to elaborate as to why?

 

[logicallefty]

My mom is the only person on the planet I trust 100%. My daughter only gets a 99%. Sisters lower than that.

My mom has her moments where she is clearly attached to the female collective and takes womens side on things. But for the MOST PART she is pretty red pilled in her thinking. She has admitted that the dating market I have to contend with right now is crap compared to the market for guys back when she was younger. She has told me "I think you do better when you are single. You seem happier and less stressed". She has also said "nothing wrong with bringing a woman home for the night, fvcking her, and then kicking her out!". Mom even smokes weed once in a while, something I never do. All in all she is pretty cool at 74 years old.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The first order of business that a man must face in himself in order to be able to walk away from any woman which IS your trump card of value is to not look back and forget about yesterday.

Wrong. It’s not “forgetting about yesterday” that’s important, it’s about just not giving af even if you do remember it. That’s even more powerful. Otherwise, you’re banking on the fact that you will forget, which some people just can’t do. Besides, it’s good to remember in case something else comes up.

 

[Hal9000]

My mother was violent and probably crazy. I've not spoken to her in a long time. No idea how it impacted my relationships with women but it definitely shaped me as a person.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

My relationship with my mom now is pretty good. I learned to establish boundaries when I was 12 which made it a lot better. Growing up, she wasn’t really loving and was somewhat wicked if I’m being honest. Not like she wanted bad for us, but whenever the slightest bit of stress came, she couldn’t handle it AT ALL. For example, if she spanked/beat us, it wasn’t controlled like my dad, we could actually see the effort in her eyes of her wanting to make us feel pain. Damn near killed my younger sister when she was 3 years old once.

I noticed how as we started getting a little bit older, she kinda treated me the worst out of all my siblings despite me treating her the best out of them. The order went as follows: she treated my brother the best when he was the worst to her, then she treated my older sister the second best despite treating my mom second worst (after my brother), then my younger sister, then me. I noticed this. So I told my dad, and he said she’s still your mom soy have to be nice to her no matter what she does. I told him this 3 times, all with the same answer. He himself didn’t know what to do so that’s why he said it. I just wanted to be a ‘good boy’ so that’s why I listened to him. But eventually I had enough (and that was when I was 12). I didn’t even care about her treating me better, I just had enough because it was unfair to me, I just opted out. We had a maelstrom for 2 weeks straight where my mom and I had nasty fights. Then suddenly, she became SUPER sweet and loving towards me like how she was towards my brother. It ****ing shocked me man lmao. And I noticed that the worse I treated her, the better she treated me and the more of a mom she became towards me lol. I didn’t want to treat her like **** just so she could treat me better, but I wasn’t gonna take her crap either, so I just work within a balance, even to this day.

I can’t just give my whole life story in this one post lol but I learned a lot from my mom. In fact, it wasn’t even from my mom, but rather the events that happened in relation to her. I’ll just bullet point them:

• If a woman falls out of love with a man she had kids with, she will not love her kids as much as she used to.
• If a woman falls out in love with a man she’s had kids with AND falls in love with another man, she will love her kids from her previous lover even less.
• If a woman falls out in love with a man she’s had kids with AND falls in love with another man AND has kids with him, she will hardly love the kids she had with her first lover at all.
  • Those single moms you see on OLD? Many are just too damaged to fall in love with a new man lol so that’s why you might see them say they are a “package deal” with their kids. But if you happen to be a man whom she really likes and is willing to start a whole new life for, she will want to forget about her kids from her previous lover. The only reason why they might still take care of them is because of mom guilt, and that’s it really.
• Contrary to what many of you here might believe, women will NOT die for their kids.
• Women know how women are (i.e. they’re all redpilled in terms of how they think about each other). They just don’t attribute the redpilled ideology to themselves as an individual, because then that would mean that they’d have to come to terms with the fact that they are fucked up human beings and don’t have morals, and since having morals is a societal virtue, that would then mean that said woman is a social outcast, which is a woman’s greatest fear (being a social outcast, public shame).
  • This is why women are so much more vicious to each other, but that despite that viciousness, if you as a man criticize a woman (for things inherent to women), they will all suddenly team up against you (because it threatens themselves i.e. their reputation, too).
• The biggest thing of all is that when a woman does something, she will do it for a reason that is often unbeknownst to her. Even if you as a man understand why she does that thing and explain to her why she does it (simply because you have her all figured out), she will still not understand why she did/does it lol. They lack awareness about a lot of the things they do in that they don’t understand why they do them. They just do it. That’s why a lot of men have often said that it’s impossible to figure women out—because if you ask them about it themselves, they won’t know why they do it lol. Truth be told, a lot of them do try to understand themselves because they’ve been confronted about it before, and that’s why women tend to be a lot more intuitive and socially calibrated than most men. In order to understand a woman, you’ll have to dissect who and how she is and use things like psychoanalysis to look deeper within them for reasons as to why they do things. This is why women go to things like therapy sessions more often than guys—because it answers questions like these.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Bruh this dude is so salty, holy ****...

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Yes no shyt thats what i said. There you are again trying to start some shyt you won't be able to finish.
Notice you just stated the obvious.

No, you said to forget. Not to not give af. You can forget and still let those demons haunt you. It does for most people.

Like what? What will come up?

The same experience. Remembering will help you know what NOT to do.

Or are you just arguing to argue.

Lmao says the dude nearing 50 who got so mad that he had to make 3 posts about me arguing every little thing lmfao do you even see yourself old man? You’re getting nuances wrong which can lead to horrible advice.

You have a lot of feminine traits. You think way to much about this stuff. I got my ass whooped growing up. Guess what? I deserved every bit of it too.
I was in the game of being a young man.

Lmao you’re anything BUT a man, you’re a 46 year old married dude on a forum that talks about getting laid. Time has already passed you by you old geezer. My no bull**** is anything but feminine, and you’re reactionary (and quite frankly anxious) response is anything but masculine. I’d say you’re the one who’s feminine brah

Hog wash. Blanket statement across a very wide array of situations.

Again complete BS absolute jargon. Guys take note on these dudes that take belief of theres and spread across a very broad array of experience. It does not work like this and neither does nature.
This kind of thinking is ego centric and actually very dangerous not only to yourself but the relationships you will forge in your life.

Don’t rake my word for it bro, go look at the situations of all the mothers who get divorced and watch what happens. I didn’t learn this from my mom, she was just a catalyst that made me notice it in a whole lot of others.

Women? All women? Are you sure about this? Women risk their lives giving child birth bro. Look into history and you will find this out real quick.

I did. That’s why I know this stuff. A woman can always have more children until she’s in her 40s. I have seen women completely forget about their kids when being attacked. Giving your life for something is a man trait. It’s not a woman trait.

But hey cool according to "your mom" who taught you everything about women you got it all figured out. Lolzzz
Heres one for you greatest....never take womens advice on women. Not your mom. Not your aunt or your sister. Or grandma.

Lol no dumbass, if you actually read what I wrote down, it wasn’t what she taught me but rather things that happened in relation to her, i.e. her ****ups. Big difference. I saw all the shortcomings in her and how it related to women as a whole. She never told me any of this stuff, I tell HER this stuff. And of course she denies it and says it’s not true, that women are sweeter or whatever bluepill nonsense she says. But I don’t think you’re giving me enough credit here. Or you’re willfully being retarded. Looks like that dementia is setting in Joe isn’t it...

I used to pretend it hurt when mom was "beating" us because she was so bad at it. But by God dam if she said she was telling dad you were completely fcked.
Thats dominance guys. "Terror" set in lol

There’s a big difference between a mom kicking her 5-year old son with the heel of her foot so hard that he cannot breathe or move, or slapping her 3-year old daughter so hard that the back of her head whiplashes against the ground and she cannot get up, or digging her nails into her daughters skin and scratching her, and the small ‘spanking’ that you’re talking about. Don’t act like you know what you’re saying, you’re just a delusional old man. Step aside before us younger folks put you back into your place lmfao

 

[BeExcellent]

The assertions in this thread that women will love their children less if they are no longer with the father, meet another man, have additional children with another man and so forth is a ridiculous statement made by someone who has NO idea what he is talking about, is not yet a parent, and is oblivious to his own ignorance and arrogance in making such assertions.

Look at the countless posts in countless threads just here from men who experience frustration dating women who put their children (from a prior relationship) first.

Now. I believe strongly that a woman should be a wife/lover first, a companion/partner second, and a mother 3rd. This works best in a first marriage that lasts for life. If the first marriage doesn’t last and there are minor children then the parents have an obligation to put the kids ahead of their own social life. It is not the fault of the minor children that their parents didn’t keep a relationship and the parents (assuming they are good parents) must put the needs of the children first in that case.

This changes only if a new relationship becomes serious and committed, where the woman lines up with the priorities noted above. It is a complicated process and not an easy balance.

This is why so many men don’t like dating women who are single mothers. Those mothers love their children immensely and the kids come first.

Same can be said of single fathers with minor children. Kids come first.

I grew up with step siblings. I assure you my step mother’s own children came first...and yet she devoted herself to my father fully once they were all grown. It’s much more complicated than some realize...

Just had to point out the serious errors in the assertions made.

I have seen instances where a woman remarried and had additional children & the older children who were not products of both parents in the second marriage felt slighted somewhat...but it isn’t because the mother loved them less, it’s because they didn’t have both mom and dad living in the home as a nuclear type family. So there was inherent envy that the younger kids got to have both parents in the home...and they didn’t. The step father in question is a good man. It gets complicated with blended families.

Which is why guys ought to think long and hard about dating single mothers.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Oh BE, if only you had understood that I accounted for what you said already...

Those single moms you see on OLD? Many are just too damaged to fall in love with a new man lol so that’s why you might see them say they are a “package deal” with their kids. But if you happen to be a man whom she really likes and is willing to start a whole new life for, she will want to forget about her kids from her previous lover. The only reason why they might still take care of them is because of mom guilt, and that’s it really.

You yourself are different from other women because your social acuity is a lot higher than them and it gives you more cognizance about human behavior in general. But in the end, all that does is it makes YOU a sociopath. Most women are not, and as such they’re subject to the things I said in my previous post. In fact, it’s quite funny how you are demonstrating what I wrote without even realizing it:

Women know how women are (i.e. they’re all redpilled in terms of how they think about each other). They just don’t attribute the redpilled ideology to themselves as an individual, because then that would mean that they’d have to come to terms with the fact that they are ****ed up human beings and don’t have morals, and since having morals is a societal virtue, that would then mean that said woman is a social outcast, which is a woman’s greatest fear (being a social outcast, public shame).

• This is why women are so much more vicious to each other, but that despite that viciousness, if you as a man criticize a woman (for things inherent to women), they will all suddenly team up against you (because it threatens themselves i.e. their reputation, too).

And to those of you reading/lurking, look at how she even gave this example:

I have seen instances where a woman remarried and had additional children & the older children who were not products of both parents in the second marriage felt slighted somewhat

Like I said, women know how women are. They just don’t attribute it to themselves. Here is her rationalizing it away as it simply being jealousy:

...but it isn’t because the mother loved them less, it’s because they didn’t have both mom and dad living in the home as a nuclear type family. So there was inherent envy that the younger kids got to have both parents in the home...and they didn’t.

Lol. Little does she realize that this jealousy actually comes from the fact that their mother loves them less.

Just an FYI, if it really were just simple jealousy that their parents aren’t together while their half-siblings parents are, then you’d see these kids be jealous of ANY kid their age who’s parents are still together. And that’s just not true.

 

[bcude]

Now. I believe strongly that a woman should be a wife/lover first, a companion/partner second, and a mother 3rd. This works best in a first marriage that lasts for life. If the first marriage doesn’t last and there are minor children then the parents have an obligation to put the kids ahead of their own social life. It is not the fault of the minor children that their parents didn’t keep a relationship and the parents (assuming they are good parents) must put the needs of the children first in that case.

How does a woman understand that she has to put her priorities in that order, when her (minor) children are always supposed to be no1? And naturally so since they need to be attended 24/7.
That's the big dilemma for single parents. You're either a great mom and a bad partner for your loved one, or you're a bad mom but a great partner. Never both at the same time, atleast i've never heard of it. A man of value coming in from the outside will not settle for anything less than having a devoted woman by his side which makes it impossible for a single mother to get commitment from someone who has his share of abundance from childless women. I just can't see a good solution to this.

Should they quit dating alltogether until the children are old enough to be independent?

 

[Billtx49]

This thread is off topic and devolved into member harassment…
Locked Down Now