Current situation

[Alvafe]

RicBoy, i know that you won't listen anymore no matter what anyone says, you will still try to get her back. Paying for advice on youtube it's the last straw of desperation, but that is okay. Might aswell experience the whole thing yourself and look for advice that only confirms what you want.
But know this:

you will never, and i mean never ever re-attract your ex until you've moved on for real and don't want her anymore.

think about that for a moment.

Nothing will change when and if she calls because you haven't changed one bit. You still see this damaged single mother as a prize that you might re-attract. The whole dynamic is backwards.
The sad part about this is that you're still not thinking what's best for your son.
red pill forums doesn't say it's impossible to re-attract an ex, it's just not worth the time and effort to go out and root through the garbage compared to attracting new women. It's about making the rational smart choices as a man, that means doing the hard things at times. Accepting and letting go of the past that's not beneficial to you is one of those things.
I wish you the best.

or he have a cuck fetish, and don't want to admit here.

here is the problem he belive in the disney fairytail, and refuse to learn and move on, there is nothing to do here, only thing we can do is make bets if he will return to cry after he fail again.

and I don't know why, but a image of a old guy running after a woman who don't want him come to my mind

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I got this advice from YouTube coach. Email coaching. Blackbookbasics.

So what I’m gonna do is break down your email and then give you a little advice at the end. If you have any questions for us or need more details about something just let us know.

Now the first paragraph of what you wrote says everything we really need to know about your situation. It sounds like you know being unemployed and trying to keep a women interested in you is a hard thing to do. I understand the struggle of getting a good job but no woman wants a man that’s working for them. They want a man that is more successful then them with goals and integrity. Plus the fact that you were smothering her was not a good tactic either. So obviously this is stuff that you already know. Spending 5-6 days a week is definitely a bad idea. Women need space from you. They need time to their selfs, and time to really miss you and to think about you. Seeing you everyday is like that movie “Groundhogs Day”, it gets repetitive and they are expecting the same thing every time you hang out and that’s what turns them off. Women need something new and exciting going on in their life at all times.
That’s cool that she cooks and cleans for you but if your just the guy on the couch that works for her and does the same things with her every time you hang out then that’s how your gonna be treated after a while. She wants a man that can be a financial, emotional and mental provider for her and it’s hard to be that person when your not financially stable in your life. Coming off as needy and working for her is the worse position to be in. From the little that you told us in your email, that’s the reason why your relationship went dwn hill.

In the second paragraph you mentioned that she looked at a “push” as a “domestic violence”. I’ve talked to LOTS of people that had an ex exaggerate and lie saying they abused them in some way and have ended up doing jail time as a result. Be very careful with her !!!
On a good note, she unblocked you and then hit you back up and chatted w you. It’s a good possibility that she said NO to drinks with you because she is testing you. Most people expected after going no contact with an ex that she just fall in your lap. That’s not always the case. She wants to see if your going to be that same needy guy, and if your gonna argue with her some more, which you did. So in her mind you failed the test and your the same guy u were back in the day. Getting back with you is gonna lead to the same bs that caused her to break up with you in her mind.

The fact that you guys argue quite often tells us that you haven’t been listening to our videos enough. Men don’t argue with women. Never in the history of life has a man won an argument with a woman. The 2 best things to do during an “argument” is to:

1. Say what’s on your mind and how you feel respectfully and stand on it.

2. Let her talk and LISTEN TO WHAT SHE IS SAYING. Women tell you how they feel and what they want if you pay close attention to them.

JUST DONT ARGUE !!!!

She told you to leave her alone and hinted that she needs space. She gave you an opportunity to redeem yourself but you messed it up.
Normally I would say stack your money up and hit the gym but it sounds like your already doing that. It’s def not too late to recover even if she has a new man because he’s gonna **** up anyways. I’m more worried about the mean things you said to her, that’s something that she’s gonna bring up and never forget.
On a good note I’d say you still have a slim chance with her. This probably Isint what you wanna hear but you definitely wanna continue to go no contact with her at this point.

To answer your question about how to proceeds from here:

1. If or when she does contact you about your son then just be charming and playful, no serious conversations and DONT bring up the past.
2. DONT argue with her.
3. Keep the small talk to a minimum.
4. Try to control any anger that you have towards her.
5. Don’t ask about her new boyfriend
6. Don’t ask her on a date until she shows clear signs that she’s wanting to.
7. Flirt with her. !!! You need to bring back the sexual chemistry between you two.
8. It’s okay to say NO to her. If or when she does come to pick up your son brush her off like she’s not a big deal. Say HI and be cool w her, but keep in mind she’s expecting you to chase, beg or start an argument.

In the mean time keep doing what your doing. Find some new women to kick it with until she does call, this way your game stays on point and your have some women on the side to keep your mind off her. I feel like you still have a chance, don’t be thoughtful of your actions.


I hope this answered your questions, let us know if you need us to clarify anything.

-OPUS-

"Worked for her"?

 

[RicBoy]

"Worked for her"?

I was unemployed and she is a supervisor in a company, she employed me. She was my supervisor at work. She assigned work daily etc

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was unemployed and she is a supervisor in a company, she employed me. She was my supervisor at work. She assigned work daily etc

Theres men who fvck in that situation. But if she's not trying to get at you you're wasting your time.

 

[RicBoy]

RicBoy, i know that you won't listen anymore no matter what anyone says, you will still try to get her back. Paying for advice on youtube it's the last straw of desperation, but that is okay. Might aswell experience the whole thing yourself and look for advice that only confirms what you want.
But know this:

you will never, and i mean never ever re-attract your ex until you've moved on for real and don't want her anymore.

think about that for a moment.

Nothing will change when and if she calls because you haven't changed one bit. You still see this damaged single mother as a prize that you might re-attract. The whole dynamic is backwards.
The sad part about this is that you're still not thinking what's best for your son.
red pill forums doesn't say it's impossible to re-attract an ex, it's just not worth the time and effort to go out and root through the garbage compared to attracting new women. It's about making the rational smart choices as a man, that means doing the hard things at times. Accepting and letting go of the past that's not beneficial to you is one of those things.
I wish you the best.

This all sounds good and I understand man.
But it's not like things ended fine and I walked away.

I did a bunch of **** man... I shoved her, called her fat cow, insulted her.. Begged, chased.. Lots of stupid stuff in the heat of the moment... Apologised to her countless times. She knows I feel guilty, she knows I did wrong so she holds all the power. So it's hard for me to see myself as the prize.

At least I'm now 45 days no contact. My son moves here in August. She won't reach out before that most likely

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This all sounds good and I understand man.
But it's not like things ended fine and I walked away.

I did a bunch of **** man... I shoved her, called her fat cow, insulted her.. Begged, chased.. Lots of stupid stuff in the heat of the moment... Apologised to her countless times. She knows I feel guilty, she knows I did wrong so she holds all the power. So it's hard for me to see myself as the prize.

At least I'm now 45 days no contact. My son moves here in August. She won't reach out before that most likely

You fvcked up. Setup a date where your purpose is to see her have fun. This shows you value her company. Dont try to get her back. That's on her.

 

[RicBoy]

You fvcked up. Setup a date where your purpose is to see her have fun. This shows you value her company. Dont try to get her back. That's on her.

No setting up dates man, she I called me 45 days ago to tell me she's seeing someone new and she is very happy. Not sure why she called to say this. She told me several times she wants nothing to do with me. She told me she despises me and I make her sick. I'm blocked everywhere. I'm 45 days NC. Every time ah reached out she said no to meet up. I'm way passed that stage. U read my very first post? Nothing really changed from there.

My only hope is when she comes to pick my son eventually which will be when he is here around summer to build a connection with her slowly without asking her out.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No setting up dates man, she I called me 45 days ago to tell me she's seeing someone new and she is very happy. Not sure why she called to say this. She told me several times she wants nothing to do with me. She told me she despises me and I make her sick. I'm blocked everywhere. I'm 45 days NC. Every time ah reached out she said no to meet up. I'm way passed that stage. U read my very first post? Nothing really changed from there.

My only hope is when she comes to pick my son eventually which will be when he is here around summer to build a connection with her slowly without asking her out.

Get you a new woman move on

 

[RicBoy]

My case

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I dated a girl for 7 months. Things were going good. Unfortunately I was unemployed, didn't have much going on besides her and she got smothered. A month before we broke up, she offered me a job at her company. She became my boss.
6 months in the relationship I was at her place 5 to 6 times a week with her cooking, cleaning, etc on top of that spending a lot of time together at work. I live with a roomate. So our relationship was around her house.
Eventually with her smothered, telling me so.. Arguments started. In one fight, I pushed her and she took it as domestic violence and kicked me out. I begged and chased for a month and she blocked me everywhere even on her daughter's phone.

One month later of no contact. She unblocked me and reached out. My son was spending Christmas with me (he lives with his mother in another country) and she asked if she could pick him up to spend a night at her place because her daughter and my son her friends. We exchange a few texts, she came to pick the kid and dropped him off. All went well. I asked her for coffee she said no. I didnt see her in this instance, my other ex was at my place (my kid's mom) and handled the exchange with her. I went no contact again.

3 weeks later, she sent me a random msg. Again I asked her for drinks she said no. I ended up arguing with her by text and blowing up her phone, she told me to stop it. I went back to no contact.

2 weeks later she reached out again (again my son was visiting me) asking to pick up the kid. This time I dropped him off at her place per her request. I went over to her doorstep with my son. Her daughter opened the door. My ex didn't want to come to say hi, was hidden in the toilet. I called her from the outside of the house asked if she wanted to come out to say hi, she said "no need".

We exchanged a few cordial msgs, but then we started arguing. I insulted her saying lots of nasty stuff. She showed up at my doorstep unannounced to bring a couple of things my son had left at her place, I opened the door (I hadn't seen her in 3 months), she looked me in the eye and said "I'm done, you send me all these messages threating me, I'm done... You make me sick, I despise you, I never want anything to do with you, you are still the same unstable guy unsafe guy. She got in the car and left. She blocked me again and told me she is seeing someone and wants nothing to do with me ever again.

We have been broken up for 5 months now.

My situation now is, I got a job, a car, back to gym, I got my own place and my son is moving to live with me and start school etc.

Even though I'm now blocked, she will eventually reach out sooner or later asking permission to pick up my kid now and then for playdates especially when he moves here next summer.

I'm in no contact for 3 weeks now.

How to proceed from here?

With what you know now and know from talking to us what were the main reasons this relationship went bad? What would you have done differently?

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

This all sounds good and I understand man.
But it's not like things ended fine and I walked away.

I did a bunch of **** man... I shoved her, called her fat cow, insulted her.. Begged, chased.. Lots of stupid stuff in the heat of the moment... Apologised to her countless times. She knows I feel guilty, she knows I did wrong so she holds all the power. So it's hard for me to see myself as the prize.

At least I'm now 45 days no contact. My son moves here in August. She won't reach out before that most likely

It’s 45 days where everyday you have carried the baggage of your past into the present and wasted yet another daily chance at freedom.

 

[RicBoy]

With what you know now and know from talking to us what were the main reasons this relationship went bad? What would you have done differently?

What I learnt. Never date a woman if you are unemployed. I don't care how tight your game is, after honeymoon is gone, a woman will never respect you if you don't have a job. A man's job and goals, is his all identity. As the relationship progresses you're going to need money and this is just a fact.

Another thing I learnt 1st month of dating see her once maybe twice a week. After 3 months, 2 to 3 times a week. After 6 months you can see her at a maximum of 4 times a week. Use the other 3 days to be alone at your home, friends hobbies. Never spend all week with her like I did unless you have moved in together. Even after marriage,a couple of days a week arrive late home from the gym or whatever and go straight to sleep, don't give your woman every single day of the week. Also women are very independent, have jobs, stress etc, beginning stages of dating, leave the ****ing for the weekends. Let her be alone week days.

Spending too much time with her also includes texting calling.. A man should not initiate much contact. Keep always your convos kind of indifferent, short, no emojis etc. Guys these days chase too much and too feminine.

Another mistake, was to work for her, with her being my boss. I guess this doesn't need any explanations why this is horrible.

Bottom of line, a man needs to focus on work, goals, his life, hobbies etc, and a woman needs to focus on the relationship. You get this out of order, will be just a matter of time before she is smothered and leaves you.

If anything, be INDIFFERENT, she wants to stay, ok, she wants to leave you, ok... She starts to argue to test u, ok.. No need to establish boundaries, control her, be jealous or anything, be indifferent to everything she says or does. Only in very severe situations you should put your foot down. If she crosses the line, cheats etc, leave her. But don't control her, be always indifferent.

Looking back, I say that too much too soon, comfort too soon, kills the relationship. Me and her were acting married only after a few weeks dating, binge watching Netflix shows all weekend drinking tea...oh boy...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What I learnt. Never date a woman if you are unemployed. I don't care how tight your game is, after honeymoon is gone, a woman will never respect you if you don't have a job. A man's job and goals, is his all identity. As the relationship progresses you're going to need money and this is just a fact.

Another thing I learnt 1st month of dating see her once maybe twice a week. After 3 months, 2 to 3 times a week. After 6 months you can see her at a maximum of 4 times a week. Use the other 3 days to be alone at your home, friends hobbies. Never spend all week with her like I did unless you have moved in together. Even after marriage,a couple of days a week arrive late home from the gym or whatever and go straight to sleep, don't give your woman every single day of the week. Also women are very independent, have jobs, stress etc, beginning stages of dating, leave the ****ing for the weekends. Let her be alone week days.

Spending too much time with her also includes texting calling.. A man should not initiate much contact. Keep always your convos kind of indifferent, short, no emojis etc. Guys these days chase too much and too feminine.

Another mistake, was to work for her, with her being my boss. I guess this doesn't need any explanations why this is horrible.

Bottom of line, a man needs to focus on work, goals, his life, hobbies etc, and a woman needs to focus on the relationship. You get this out of order, will be just a matter of time before she is smothered and leaves you.

If anything, be INDIFFERENT, she wants to stay, ok, she wants to leave you, ok... She starts to argue to test u, ok.. No need to establish boundaries, control her, be jealous or anything, be indifferent to everything she says or does. Only in very severe situations you should put your foot down. If she crosses the line, cheats etc, leave her. But don't control her, be always indifferent.

Not being unemployed is great man advise. But theres plenty of women who get fvcked by seedy, game running unemployed or low income "bad boy" types. How do you explain that? And your thing about time management is on point. I just like the guys to know they can get laid and have women desire them without cash.

 

[RicBoy]

Not being unemployed is great man advise. But theres plenty of women who get fvcked by seedy, game running unemployed or low income "bad boy" types. How do you explain that? And your thing about time management is on point. I just like the guys to know they can get laid and have women desire them without cash.

No one is bad boy. Bad boy gets dumped begs and cried too. People are all the same, walk chest out when life shines and cry in the room when things turn sour.
You don't need job or money to get laid... But you won't be able to keep a last longing relationship I promise you that. You have to be superior to your woman in every way possible. Trust me, as man without a job and long term goals, you're pretty much useless to a woman.

Game only takes u so far man real life is not game. Real life is work a d make money. You think u go on a bar crack some jokes and be arrogant and a girl will fall for it? Maybe.. But confidence doesn't come from thin air, you can't fake it, having a job, A car, nice house and a life creates confidence. After months in a relationship, a girl can care less if you have "game".

Women are never happy, they will dump anyone, rich poor gamers, etc. It's just a matter of time. It's a life of goodbyes be prepared and be a successful man, that's what women want, not the pua with empty pockets that think he read rational male and is now someone.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No one is bad boy. Bad boy gets dumped begs and cried too. People are all the same, walk chest out when life shines and cry in the room when things turn sour.
You don't need job or money to get laid... But you won't be able to keep a last longing relationship I promise you that. You have to be superior to your woman in every way possible. Trust me, as man without a job and long term goals, you're pretty much useless to a woman.

I got cousins doing a bunch of lieing and scamming haveno shortage. And they aren't crying cause to them ALL females are hos. "We don't love them hos". Yea they get dumped when the novelty Wears off but they don't care cause they are already cheating.

So i ain't advising that unemployed and low income is the best way to be. But SMV means "sexual marketplace value", which is how much the market desires to get fvcked by you.

We as men need to stack money and be productive for ourselves. But our SMV should be sufficient to not need be crutched or cheated with cash.

 

[RicBoy]

I got cousins doing a bunch of lieing and scamming haveno shortage. And they aren't crying cause to them ALL females are hos. "We don't love them hos". Yea they get dumped when the novelty Wears off but they don't care cause they are already cheating.

So i ain't advising that unemployed and low income is the best way to be. But SMV means "sexual marketplace value", which is how much the market desires to get fvcked by you.

We as men need to stack money and be productive for ourselves. But our SMV should be sufficient to not need be crutched or cheated with cash.

I can only speak from my experience. I'm 38 years old in 2 weeks. I ****ed over 50 girls. And had 4 serious relationships. 5 years, 7 years (9 year old son), 2 years and last one 7 months. Last 2 girls I was between jobs, unemployed, gym, chilling.. They both said same things "something is missing, I'm smothered". In my second relationship 7 years, I worked at Hewlett Packard, had money, I was also studying at university some evenings, I had so much outside of the relationship, she never left me, until I had the brilliant idea to chear on her with her best friend.

Bottom of line, SMV doesn't come from nothing, you need to build it, and it's not from cracking jokes and be arrogant. Women are very independent and strong these days, they will leave u at the drop of a dime if you are a no one.

 

[RicBoy]

Anyways, regarding my last ex, she isn't seating down to analyze like I am now what went wrong. In her head she liked me, was fun, she probably didn't love me yet, was just a cool guy to spend time with... Now she sees me as violent and unstable and of course she never wants anything to do with me.

She will come around for my son sooner or later for the playdates with her daughter, but because I was violent, insulted, chased begged, like the coach in the video said, it's going to take a good year or 2 for her to see me with different eyes. And I'm not sitting around for that day to come.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I can only speak from my experience. I'm 38 years old in 2 weeks. I ****ed over 50 girls. And had 4 serious relationships. 5 years, 7 years (9 year old son), 2 years and last one 7 months. Last 2 girls I was between jobs, unemployed, gym, chilling.. They both said same things "something is missing, I'm smothered". In my second relationship 7 years, I worked at Hewlett Packard, had money, I was also studying at university some evenings, I had so much outside of the relationship, she never left me, until I had the brilliant idea to chear on her with her best friend.

Bottom of line, SMV doesn't come from nothing, you need to build it, and it's not from cracking jokes and be arrogant. Women are very independent and strong these days, they will leave u at the drop of a dime if you are a no one.

I agree with you.

The guys i mentioned have good shapes, alot of confidence (swag) and wear current fashion catchy "hook", clothings. Having stacked pockets and appearance of wealth isn't in these players games....

I remember when i was 38. Tried to target my dating at 22-30 and i wasn't setup for that. If i could go back Id still target that range but my core would be 33-43 with a few RELIABLE older babes ( just a few years ) in the stable who appreciate me.

We can and should have the physical and material wealth and displays of opulence. But your clothes gonna come off. Can your physical shape, how you move and the drapings ( clothings ) you put on your body excite these babes?

4 c's is great. Yes outer image is very attractive and seductive. Should not be overlooked.

If a bytch wanna leave or start to waste your time let them go. They still respond to respect.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Anyways, regarding my last ex, she isn't seating down to analyze like I am now what went wrong. In her head she liked me, was fun, she probably didn't love me yet, was just a cool guy to spend time with... Now she sees me as violent and unstable and of course she never wants anything to do with me.

She will come around for my son sooner or later for the playdates with her daughter, but because I was violent, insulted, chased begged, like the coach in the video said, it's going to take a good year or 2 for her to see me with different eyes. And I'm not sitting around for that day to come.

Actually, you are indeed sitting around waiting for that day to come.

You mentioned that you've gotten several exes back. How did that work out for you? They became exes twice, didn't they? I'll bet the double dose of drama was a lot of fun for you.

I get it that this is all coming from a place of intense pain. We're all trying to tell you that you are only prolonging the pain and in fact intensifying it with this target fixation of yours. You need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and forget about her, and instead concentrate on becoming a better man. You won't listen though. You need to go through yet more heartache until you get sick and tired of it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ric. The danger of building and optimizing yourself for what the females want isin doing so you pedastal her ( working for her ) by working hard to get her. When you are setup correctly no matter how strong and independent. The women will INTERVIEW with you. To come fill your job. They are attracted and they desire you.

While the desire you they are getting "help" from other men. Think about that.