Going on a cruise with my ex

[lamath]

And the power of the male brain to rationalize just about anything....

Told him the same.

Experience is the best teacher.
Some men could handle this and come out on top but not many, i know i for one could not

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Nah, I never did when I was at a friends or fam. members pad. Not my ideal choice.

I did often. Even my "non slut" gf's would do their best and be all over me in those environments.

 

[Robert28]

And the power of the male brain to rationalize just about anything....

That too

 

[Robert28]

Told him the same.

Experience is the best teacher.
Some men could handle this and come out on top but not many, i know i for one could not

I honestly haven’t made up my mind yet, I still have 2 months. I do know that I’m not going in the hopes to get another chance or get back together. I’m 200% certain about that. I mean I still have feelings for the girl but when she friend zoned me that killed my interest in ever trying to recover from that. If she wants to view me as some pretend friend for a week that’s fine with me. Friends can be ghosted at the drop of a hat(ie. soon as that plane lands on the return trip home) happens all the time. I’ve been doing great these last few months of no contact, haven’t reached out to her one bit. Even missed her birthday.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I honestly haven’t made up my mind yet, I still have 2 months. I do know that I’m not going in the hopes to get another chance or get back together. I’m 200% certain about that. I mean I still have feelings for the girl but when she friend zoned me that killed my interest in ever trying to recover from that. If she wants to view me as some pretend friend for a week that’s fine with me. Friends can be ghosted at the drop of a hat(ie. soon as that plane lands on the return trip home) happens all the time. I’ve been doing great these last few months of no contact, haven’t reached out to her one bit. Even missed her birthday.

Get some ***** over those two months. Get someone u can fvck daily.

 

[Atom Smasher]

For the next 6 or 7 weeks this whole thing is going to be consuming you as you ruminate on it. I highly recommend that you decide immediately to NOT go, to eat the $1600 and consider it a fair price for a life lesson.

You are considering putting yourself in an extraordinarily awkward situation and you are likely to have a miserable experience and an even more miserable aftermath.

If you have any sense left, you will text her tomorrow:
"I decided not to go. I hope you and your mom have a great time."

Period. End of story. Reality check: She rejected you. You weren't good enough for her in her mind and emotions. She decided it would be better for her to be without you. Why would you even consider doing something as crazy as being stuck with her on a cruise for an entire week, with no escape?

Dude, you need to screw your head on straight, stand up like a man and take the financial hit. You will walk away having launched yourself to a new, higher level of manhood. That's well worth $1600 in anybody's book. You will be turning that $1600 into money well-spent.

If you make that decision and take that action today, you will be a free man who can be proud of himself. I emphasize "Free".

If you ruminate and delay, you will suffer in confusion for 2 months, and then most likely put yourself into a bad situation that you will be forced to ride out for an entire week. You will be kicking yourself while on the boat, and for months after.

This thing is going to own you until it is resolved. I say, step up and own it. This is about your own dignity.

 

[lamath]

I honestly haven’t made up my mind yet, I still have 2 months. I do know that I’m not going in the hopes to get another chance or get back together. I’m 200% certain about that. I mean I still have feelings for the girl but when she friend zoned me that killed my interest in ever trying to recover from that. If she wants to view me as some pretend friend for a week that’s fine with me. Friends can be ghosted at the drop of a hat(ie. soon as that plane lands on the return trip home) happens all the time. I’ve been doing great these last few months of no contact, haven’t reached out to her one bit. Even missed her birthday.

Idk how hard it was for you, but if it was.

Breaking the NC will more than likely set you back, think about the hard work you did to get over her

 

[lamath]

For the next 6 or 7 weeks this whole thing is going to be consuming you as you ruminate on it. I highly recommend that you decide immediately to NOT go, to eat the $1600 and consider it a fair price for a life lesson.

You are considering putting yourself in an extraordinarily awkward situation and you are likely to have a miserable experience and an even more miserable aftermath.

If you have any sense left, you will text her tomorrow:
"I decided not to go. I hope you and your mom have a great time."

Period. End of story. Reality check: She rejected you. You weren't good enough for her in her mind and emotions. She decided it would be better for her to be without you. Why would you even consider doing something as crazy as being stuck with her on a cruise for an entire week, with no escape?

Dude, you need to screw your head on straight, stand up like a man and take the financial hit. You will walk away having launched yourself to a new, higher level of manhood. That's well worth $1600 in anybody's book. You will be turning that $1600 into money well-spent.

If you make that decision and take that action today, you will be a free man who can be proud of himself. I emphasize "Free".

If you ruminate and delay, you will suffer in confusion for 2 months, and then most likely put yourself into a bad situation that you will be forced to ride out for an entire week. You will be kicking yourself while on the boat, and for months after.

This thing is going to own you until it is resolved. I say, step up and own it.

Completely agree
Did not see it that way, but this is why its not gonna turn out good, during those 6-7 week left you will ruminate things over and over.
It cant be good

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Completely agree
Did not see it that way, but this is why its not gonna turn out good, during those 6-7 week left you will ruminate things over and over.
It cant be good

What if he can hit it before the trip?

 

[zinc4]

This is probably one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Last year I agreed to go on a cruise with a girl I was dating and her family. We’d been dating off and on for a year before she finally laid the “let’s just be friends” line on me. Well she didn’t do that until a couple months after I’d already booked my part on it and paid my $1200. We are going April 24-May 1 and I honestly wasn’t planning on going, just figured I’d have to eat the $1200 and call it a hard lesson. She contacted me this past weekend to tell me to finalize everything on my end (passport, etc). I was shocked she still wanted me to go. Honestly I think her mom and kid wants me to go, because her mom thinks I can do no wrong.lol

So I didn’t say much because I didn’t feel like having some long convo with her, I just was caught off guard that she’s still planning on me going and we haven’t talked to or seen each other since end of last year. I can’t help but think this will be an awkward trip but there isn’t any bad blood between us, she just sees me as a friend now and even though we don’t talk or hangout, a cruise is still a cruise and I do like to travel.
I contacted Carnival about getting my $1200 back but I didn’t purchase some insurance and since it’s only 2 months away, I’m screwed. I can’t even change my room, I’ll have to sleep in the same room and bed as her. I think there could be a fold out couch in the room since we did get some suite upgrade thing so maybe I’ll be crashing on that.
I know I’ll have a good time because I can make the best out of any situation but man is this awkward. Doesn’t seem awkward for her but it is for me since she’s lost all her feelings for me apparently but I might still have a sliver of them, I’m just not sure how strong since I haven’t seen her or talked to her to know. The bright side is I’ve been working out with a trainer hardcore and I’m in the best shape of my life right now, I’ve always been in decent shape but he’s kicked it up a notch. I’m not planning on her fawning over me when we are on the beach or pool when she sees how in shape I am, but who knows, women are shallow like that.haha

Just **** her man....wtf....**** is simple sounding. She invited u on a cruise.

Keep trying and u will succeed. If not, then bang some sloots.

 

[Dash Riprock]

It starts at the beginning when the guy is willing to trade in his dignity and self respect for her approval. This sets the frame. From that point on he is just a Cog in her wheel and no longer a man.

This is really the backdrop to 95% of the problems guys have with women on SS, including OP in this post.

And it's the #1 problem on the Mature Men board too. They chop off their balls and put them on a plate and hand to their gf, wife, ex, or just some woman and then they expect the woman to be wildly attracted to that.

I mean f*uck the money, the trip, etc, etc. He'll look back a few months from now and realize what a chump he was for entertaining her--which is exactly what he's doing. I'm glad he did make the OP though because other younger DJs can learn from this in what NOT to do.

Men: Focus on you, your goals, your money and investments, your health, and your career. Woman are JUST a small side dish on a huge plate of food. When men inverse this model, THAT's when things get messy. Every. Single. Time.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Honestly it’s really only about the money and my pride of wanting her to see how much I improved. That’s all it is. It’s not hoping to get back together or anything like that. It’s a weird situation, not even trying to deny that.

So in other words, it’s about vindictive vengeance?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Most guys are nowhere near that level of skill or smv to just assume they can do pickup on a family cruise of all things lol.

How does one ‘acquire’ this level of skill/smv? Have you done it before?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Improvement and lots and lots of practice. No I haven't, I'm ok but unlikely to reach that level.

Well have you seen dudes who have gotten to that level? Did they actually have good skill or were they actually high value dudes too?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Smv vs pickup skills is actually something I’ve been thinking about. Guys waste money and time on their pickup skills. If the same amount of money, time, and energy were allocated to increasing their smv, they would actually yield 10 times the return.

The number one mistake of money is trading in your time for money. Like if you make $13 an hour, a poor mindset would be “if I work more hours, I could make more money.”

Similarly, a guy with low to middling smv thinking “the more time I put into the game, the more I will get laid” will be equally ineffective.

Anyone who has ever made any amount of money knows that money increases exponentially based on having a high income skill, or providing high value. It doesn’t come from working LONGER hours with the same low income skill. That’s why the paradigm of “hard work” is limited. You need to work smart.

The same principle applies to game. If your smv is a 6, it doesn’t matter how much more time you dedicate to gaming. You will reach a point of limited return.

What the guy needs to do is increase his smv the same way he would increase his high income skill. Then his results would multiply exponentially.

If he can go from a 6 to an 8, he can game 1/4th the time and yield the same or greater results.

In the past, I’ve even neglected pickup skills altogether. I reasoned to myself “fvck it, I have high enough smv to attract women WITH the seduction skills. If anything, they will seduce me.”

It’s possible that your smv is high enough that the game is completely inverted and it is the women who will need the skills to seduce and not you.

The guys who preach pickup skills like it’s everything are just guys coping and rationalizing their low smv.

It’s the same mentality as preaching hard work while making $13 an hour.

I admire the hustle but if you want to multiply your results exponentially, you need to increase the value you are providing.

Ofc, self-improvement is a given. ‘Inner’ game vs outer game kinda thing. You have to ingrain into who you are. But then that gets harder too, much like how eventually you plateau with your weights in the gym. How do your supersede that?

I’ve gotten to the point once before where my vibe was so strong, it was akin to Hitler’s resonating with the people of Germany. That was when I first joined the site. But I couldn’t sustain it for too long. I’ve seen how powerful mindset is. With the right one at a strong enough level, you could get any female you want, no bars hold, and it wouldn’t even matter if you’re a billionaire or a homeless person or an ugly ass mother****er. I’ve experienced this before. It’s fked up for me to say this, but that’s why I admire guys like Richard Ramirez or David Koresh. The former had female judges who convicted him visit him in his cell and buy him stuff lol and they’d always leave crying. The latter had such charisma and influence to where FBI agents had to take breaks every 30 minutes or so to avoid falling under his spell. Granted, people were more innocent back then anyway, but that still doesn’t account for it. I remember reading someone’s story on reddit about how his dad used to be a security guard and was hard man, but that he was set to guard Richard Ramirez’s cell once and was freaked out by the dude because he’s say things like “Hey you, I can get you anything you want” and you’d believe him, and that he refused to go near him after that first day lol.

I want to be like that, but better (minus the craziness of course).

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

it’s normal to think like this when you are in your 20s. I’m not patronizing you. I’m just saying saying 10-15 years from now your mindset and goals will change. When you are young, you want to build yourself up to become Superman.

When you get older, you realize there is no need for Superman. Like if I were to get locked up by the fbi, I wouldnt really feel any emotional fluctuations. If an asteroid were to come falling from the sky, id just think “I’m surprised it hasnt already happened given the probabilities.” I’ve been in knife fights where i barely had a pulse.

It’s like when you are young you feel like you need confidence to talk to women. When you are older you don’t even understand social anxiety to the point where confidence is needed. Like “really? Guys need mindset and all those mental gymnastics to say hello?”

You can tell who is who by what they preach. Some guys preach approaching like it’s the ultimate challenge. While other guys scratch their heads and think “what are we, 12 years old?”

you can chalk it up to internal dominance that comes from life chiseling you, or perhaps the imagined pressures in life dissolves itself and you realize there is nothing to really overcome when you get older.

Whatever the reason is, there is no need for super powers when you get to a certain level of emotional intelligence.

The game is an illusion. There are no obstacles. No pressure to overcome.

People might think I have strong inner game. But I have no inner game. Or rather, no need for inner game. Because life is nothing.

The only explanation I have is that I’ve died enough times that nothing phases me.

When you die, your illusions die with you. And when you come back, you stop giving a sh1t.

Of course, I mean ego death. Even when I am talking about smv, I am talking about it from a business value standpoint. Just matter of factly.

The irony of life is when you grow up, you want to build yourself. But when you are older, freedom is when yourself dissapear.

Yeah I know what you mean, I’m farther along in my journey than you think because most of the time, I don’t really give af about most things anyway. I just don’t care. Like if something good happens to me, awesome. If something bad happens, it’s just another ****ty thing that happened in my life.

The only problem is that you could become complacent and just stop caring about anything and everything all together, and I’ve come across that fairly recently. I’ve become a lot more ‘aware’ about how things actually are and you just kinda realize there’s no point. I’ll give you an example: All those lazy ass kids back in high school who were naturally more mature and more street smart than the rest just never tried and never really gave a **** about school because they saw just how pointless it was. But they also ended up being losers in life because of it. And while it’s fine for them because they don’t really care, I’ve determined for myself that I do not want be a loser, irregardless if whether I care or not. It’s just that because of how pointless everything is, it makes doing stuff so much more daunting. But for me and my sake, I decided that I still need to keep moving and improving.

There’s a reason for this though—I haven’t been fully unleashed and exposed to the world yet. I’m still living in a bubble right now. In about a year or 2, I’ll suddenly gain more autonomy and might even say that I’m ‘free’. Within 5-6 years, I’ll be completely free. Why does that matter? Because me being in this ‘bubble’ means that I can still cultivate myself and that I still have time to become, before who I am becomes permanent.

I need to maximize as much of my potential as I can before it becomes impossible for me to change. Once I get my full freedom, I shall skyrocket in terms of who I am and what I am, my ability/abilities, smv, social skills/prowess/intelligence/understanding, etc. and I will self-actualize and perhaps even transcend, God-willing. But I need to know what I have to do right now, so that I can prepare myself actually do all those things and be all those things once I’m on my own. I have the advantage of being able to observe things objectively from where I’m at now, but sooner or later I might lose that and I won’t be able to learn any more than what I already know. I’m trying to maximize my potential. Surpass my form, if you will.

When you die, your illusions die with you. And when you come back, you stop giving a sh1t

Yeah, that’s what everyone says after the first time they go unconscious. After that, it gets easier to ‘go’ all the other times.

The interesting thing is that the exact opposite happens for people who try DMT. It always turns the most hardcore atheist/anti-theists to people who are firm believers in God.

The fact that both of these even exist sets a strange polarity to existence and its meaning. In the end, it’s your choice to believe whatever you want to believe. I tend to notice that people who don’t go far enough into death say that it’s nothingness, but that those who go even farther eventually experience things they shouldn’t. When they’re told it’s not their time (yet), things fade to the nothingness again for a while before they return. Food for thought.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Even though I use the words “winner” and “loser” to make my points, those two words have no meaning to me. I like to make money so I can travel and buy things. It’s just matter of factly. There’s no Image of social acceptance floating in my head. And I also want to make a social impact in my community. Those are desires that are built into my personality that I was born with. Look no further than my personality on sosuave. It’s the same personality I have in real life.

Just because I talk about letting go of illusions and imaginary fears and ego and all that stuff, doesnt mean I am totally devoid of desires and personality, lol.

It just means I don’t have any BS getting in my way. Like I don’t have image problems when I talk to chicks. If I have to give a public speech to 100 or 1000 people, there aren’t any imagined thoughts in my head about how I come across.

Not giving a sh1t actually leads to MORE life, not less.

When you actually stop giving a sh1t, you actually end up unleashing your full potential and do anything and everything you’ve always wanted without anything holding you back.

So I just want to clear that up. Self realization = freedom to live life. Not freedom from having to live life.

Self-realization = fearlessness, not desirelessness or carelessness.

Alright I gotchu, thx

 

[MatureDJ]

I can’t even change my room, I’ll have to sleep in the same room and bed as her. I think there could be a fold out couch in the room since we did get some suite upgrade thing so maybe I’ll be crashing on that.

No, YOU sleep in the bed buck naked. If she can't handle that, she can find somewhere else to sleep. You go & put your sexuality on full display.

 

[MatureDJ]

Well I mean we are flying together (her mom and kid too) and staying in a hotel that night and leave the next morning. I’ve just learned my lesson about agreeing to trips in advance with someone I’m dating. Never again.lol

I was in a similar situation, talking about taking a gal I was dating skiing. (I am an avid skier, so it's what I do.) Fortunately, she had let me go before I had bought her ticket. Of course, I still went on the trip.

 

[MatureDJ]

Unwise on so many levels. You know, she's going to flirt and possibly bring a dude back to get your jealous. Worse off, you can get quarantined due to the corona virus. Eat up the 1200 as stupid tax.

That's when you force them to do the nasty on the same bed where you're lying down. Even the dudest Chad would not be able to handle this situation.