Performance anxiety

[BJP1991]

Hey everyone,

Topic that circles around occasionally. But, do you have any strategies or techniques to avoid performance anxiety in bed? For me it has happened once or twice, usually with a girl when we did it for the first time. 2nd/3rd etc times it would never come up (is that a reverse pun? Anyways...), and would be smooth sailing.

For myself, I just need to stay in the moment and “let go” so to say and just become one with my partner. Sometimes 1-2 drinks also helps (with more negative results the more I consume - aka whiskeydick). Mainly I need to just block everything out except for the person I am with.

Outside of that, I remain healthy - avoiding junk food, getting fruits/veggies as often as possible, lifting weights, stretching, etc.


Curious what others think? Or, is the key here to “not think at all” and just let go, like I mentioned before.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Have a rotation of plates. Keep one around you don't have deep feelings for. The less you care about pleasing her, the better you'll perform. Ironically, women like it more when they can focus on pleasing you rather than vice versa.

 

[cola]

To this day.. after triple digit lays .. i still get performance anxiety if she is hot. It’s just human nature. If you don’t get the boner right away don’t act like it’s a big deal and she won’t either

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No. I know they are about to have the best sex of their life and even if something were to happen with my d!ck I wil just make them *** and squirt other ways.

 

[BJP1991]

To this day.. after triple digit lays .. i still get performance anxiety if she is hot. It’s just human nature. If you don’t get the boner right away don’t act like it’s a big deal and she won’t either

Heard that - so true. I’ve also found that chilling and definitely not making a deal out of it usually ends up in a good lay once I calm down a bit.

What’s everyone’s opinion on porn/abstaining for a period leading up to a time when you know you’ll be having sex? Sometimes I stop a few days beforehand. Other times I don’t. Haven’t really noticed a difference for myself. I know others preach nofap. I’ve done some good streaks myself as well.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Hey everyone,

Topic that circles around occasionally. But, do you have any strategies or techniques to avoid performance anxiety in bed? For me it has happened once or twice, usually with a girl when we did it for the first time. 2nd/3rd etc times it would never come up (is that a reverse pun? Anyways...), and would be smooth sailing.

For myself, I just need to stay in the moment and “let go” so to say and just become one with my partner. Sometimes 1-2 drinks also helps (with more negative results the more I consume - aka whiskeydick). Mainly I need to just block everything out except for the person I am with.

Outside of that, I remain healthy - avoiding junk food, getting fruits/veggies as often as possible, lifting weights, stretching, etc.


Curious what others think? Or, is the key here to “not think at all” and just let go, like I mentioned before.

Focus on dominance. I never have performance anxiety because I control what happens. I'm not hard and she's being awkward? Tell her to blow or dance or otherwise command what i know will get me excited. Women want you to lead, they want to release and enjoy. Believe in yourself and your skills, then work her like a locksmith until you find what makes her twitch. Push the envelope, command her around. You'll be pleasantly surprised by submissive women.

Most importantly gauge your interest. No shame in dismissing a woman. Sometimes I get a girls clothes off and I'm disappointed. Some combo of her characteristics can't get me hard but I don't feel ashamed, I chalk it up to bad compatibility. There's definitely girls that know how to get and keep me rock hard.

Don't get trapped in some shame fueled self sabotage cycle in an attempt to change what a girl thinks.

Easy thing to implement is teasing. Don't go straight for sex or straight for hard pounding. Master the tease and feel the absolute power you have over these girls.

 

[BJP1991]

Focus on dominance. I never have performance anxiety because I control what happens. I'm not hard and she's being awkward? Tell her to blow or dance or otherwise command what i know will get me excited. Women want you to lead, they want to release and enjoy. Believe in yourself and your skills, then work her like a locksmith until you find what makes her twitch. Push the envelope, command her around. You'll be pleasantly surprised by submissive women.

Most importantly gauge your interest. No shame in dismissing a woman. Sometimes I get a girls clothes off and I'm disappointed. Some combo of her characteristics can't get me hard but I don't feel ashamed, I chalk it up to bad compatibility. There's definitely girls that know how to get and keep me rock hard.

Don't get trapped in some shame fueled self sabotage cycle in an attempt to change what a girl thinks.

Easy thing to implement is teasing. Don't go straight for sex or straight for hard pounding. Master the tease and feel the absolute power you have over these girls.

In regards to teasing - you’re referring to via foreplay?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

In regards to teasing - you’re referring to via foreplay?

You can call it that sure. It can all be boiled down to dangling a carrot. On the date you tease her about her looks or how horny she's being(most girls will playfully neg), you start touching her but back off after making an advance. I like to push it until I can feel her reaching to stop me. This carrot dangling will further polarize women from those that are kind of interested to those that are really interested. The more you can show that you know how badly she wants you the more in control you are.

Letting you fuuck her is already a huge act of submission. Run her hands on her, be rough, but don't touch the ****. Lick and touch around the **** and see it she gets worked up. When you finally touch it do so in small bursts. Have fun, play, women are there for you to enjoy. If they are making their judgements super obvious they should be dropped immediately. If it's not fun for both why bother?

 

[GioWolf]

A 20mg sildenafil pill should help as a backup.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Hey everyone,

Topic that circles around occasionally. But, do you have any strategies or techniques to avoid performance anxiety in bed? For me it has happened once or twice, usually with a girl when we did it for the first time. 2nd/3rd etc times it would never come up (is that a reverse pun? Anyways...), and would be smooth sailing.

For myself, I just need to stay in the moment and “let go” so to say and just become one with my partner. Sometimes 1-2 drinks also helps (with more negative results the more I consume - aka whiskeydick). Mainly I need to just block everything out except for the person I am with.

Outside of that, I remain healthy - avoiding junk food, getting fruits/veggies as often as possible, lifting weights, stretching, etc.


Curious what others think? Or, is the key here to “not think at all” and just let go, like I mentioned before.

Everyone gets PA every now and then. It was and still is common for me when I'm with a new partner. And like @cola, it's seem worse the hotter the girl is. About three years ago, after researching PA on the net, I took the plunge and got some Viagra as many said it cured their PA 100%. I was leery of the side effects, so for my first trial with "Jenny" I took 10mg about an hour before the deed.

Wow.

10mg got me hard and kept me hard for well over an hour. I also found I'm in this small group of men of where it really delays your orgasm so now, when I take just 10-15mg, I can bang for over an hour if I want. Yeah, you come off as a Rockstar in bed which is cool, but it’s harder for me to orgasm. Eventually I (usually) do. It's still fun. I've had a few girls say I was f*ucking them too hard and they couldn't take any more, haha.

So my recommendation is to keep some Viagra or sildenafil (generic) on hand. Keep a pill in your pocket if you're out in case you end up at her place.

You’ll find that after you're with her a few times you won't need it anymore, even if she's a HB9.9.

Good luck men.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Don't rely on drugs, just keep at it and get more women.

I used to get this all the time, these days I just clear my mind

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't rely on drugs, just keep at it and get more women.

I used to get this all the time, these days I just clear my mind

That's what it is for most. He's not receiving enough desire.

 

[djreez88]

That's what it is for most. He's not receiving enough desire.

Exactly. I find when my woman spontaneously does stuff like get on top of me when im not paying attention or pull it out and give me oral. Like you said desire is key. Being spontaneous creates that desire for me. Being pressured to preform is what kills it for me

 

[Kotaix]

Hey everyone,

Topic that circles around occasionally. But, do you have any strategies or techniques to avoid performance anxiety in bed? For me it has happened once or twice, usually with a girl when we did it for the first time. 2nd/3rd etc times it would never come up (is that a reverse pun? Anyways...), and would be smooth sailing.

For myself, I just need to stay in the moment and “let go” so to say and just become one with my partner. Sometimes 1-2 drinks also helps (with more negative results the more I consume - aka whiskeydick). Mainly I need to just block everything out except for the person I am with.

Outside of that, I remain healthy - avoiding junk food, getting fruits/veggies as often as possible, lifting weights, stretching, etc.


Curious what others think? Or, is the key here to “not think at all” and just let go, like I mentioned before.

They key is to not think at all and enjoy yourself. This is really the key to relationships in life in general, not just sex.

Also, if you're in really good cardio shape you shouldn't have much performance anxiety, just give it to her hard until her pvssy aches.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly. I find when my woman spontaneously does stuff like get on top of me when im not paying attention or pull it out and give me oral. Like you said desire is key. Being spontaneous creates that desire for me. Being pressured to preform is what kills it for me

And being stuck to a female whose not trying to see you like that?

 

[djreez88]

Exactly. Being pressured to perform is what kills it for me. I find when my woman spontaneously does stuff like get on top of me when im not paying attention or pull it out and give me oral really revs me up! Being spontaneous creates that desire for me. Like you said desire is key. When i would see women while being tired or tryna force it because I otherwise wouldn't get the chance again that's what I meant when I said being pressured. Going in and just letting it happen naturally rather than a planned event

 

[djreez88]

And being stuck to a female whose not trying to see you like that?

Sorry I had worded my first post wrong. Revised

 

[GoodOne123]

Alcohol and avoid coffee

Coffee gives you ED?

**** that explains a lot lol I usually drink 3-4 cups a day

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Coffee gives you ED?

**** that explains a lot lol I usually drink 3-4 cups a day

Yea more than one cup fvcks with erections. And on the alcohol it decreases testosterone, increases estrogen and decreases blood circulation producing a weaker boner. Let her do the drinking, you sip and take your time on one drink if that.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It’s happened a few times. Usually
Stress, booze or lack of sleep. But i’m actually terrified. I’ve had girls get quite angry. That’s really ‘un-fun’. Thinking about getting V as a back up.