Cola's pic thread got me thinking

[Glassguy]

@cola is right. There are a lot of good looking dudes on this forum (in a totally non gay way). I expected more of the guy living in his mom's basement that gets his hair cut every 3 months but a lot of you guys are knocking the fitness out of the park. Awesome job.

I would consider myself a slightly above average looking guy for being 42 in the market for 25-30 year olds but well above average in the eyes of women closer to my own age. It is a little trickier and tougher when you are trying to date younger women as the margin of error can be much smaller.

I also think that it is no surprise that most of the guys that posted pics that I would consider in the upper echelon of men seem to have the least issues with attracting women and start the fewest amount of threads on here about how women are confusing them. More than likely they have more options than the average guy and women are competing for them and not the other way around.

I recently started back on a rigorous diet and workout. The comments about Vitamin D from the pic thread was a reminder of how living in the upper part of the US can be taxing on the body and mind without it.

So my question is this: A lot of members have shown their pics and looks, which is a major part of what it takes to attract women. Yet that is just the beginning.

From an honest approach, lets also focus on this:

At what part of the attraction/interest process through the first couple of dates with a woman do you think you really need to improve? It can be any intent: Relationship, Plates, FWB, etc.

In short, what is the weak link that you would like to improve on your direct interactions with women to help you eliminate as much turnover as possible?

Keep up the great comments, insight and support on that pic thread. Great idea!

 

[Alvafe]

hmm lately?

putting effort on knowing and getting dates, possible i'm kinda tired and burnout with everything I'm dealing with, so, woman like always is low priority.

the 2nd point in samspede I saw myself on it so that could be also be a issue

 

[lamath]

Good idea, I'll bite.

I have two issues, though I've come a long way in the past year or two on them.

1. My main problem isn't in attracting women, it's in saying no to them once they're head over heels for me. I used to be terrible at this, but I've gotten better at giving myself proper space and not worrying about offending a chick. The best way is just to have other things going on, goals etc., so I'm not even thinking about it. But even just being able to say "I need some me time" is important.

Good idea looks it just part of the equation, social skills are alot more important imo

Same problem here, i tend to care a little bit too much about their well being.
In dating and relationship its easy af to do big damage on someone psyche, so even if i put me first i try to make it as painless as possible.
This obv makes it way harder to dump them.

 

[nismo-4]

My weak link is talking to a girl online and when I go for the number the communication just drops. Also (and I'll speak on many members' behalf) keeping interest past the first date or meet.

We all know the fact that we füçked up with the girl. Yeah, that's just knowing. But to fix it, you need to know the what, where, when, why, and how you füçked up.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My problem is keeping my own interest past 4 months into an exclusive LTR. I get bored. The sex gets old and I desire new pvssy. Relationships seem to be going well, as I’m always the one doing the dumping. I’ve had 3 girls in the last 4 years ask me to propose. One I never officially dated, she was a 6 month long plate.

 

[Glassguy]

My problem is keeping my own interest past 4 months into an exclusive LTR. I get bored. The sex gets old and I desire new pvssy. Relationships seem to be going well, as I’m always the one doing the dumping. I’ve had 3 girls in the last 4 years ask me to propose. One I never officially dated, she was a 6 month long plate.

I am the same way. Its more of the conquest than it is anything else. The competition and thrill of the chase (so to speak).

I find that very few women interest me in enough ways to go past a 3-4 month period with just one of them. Another reason that I do try to maintain a rotation.

Its not that I am interested in a numbers count because I would love to find someone that has potential for a LTR and actually get there. Its that most (not all) women are so shallow or their drive/determination in life is low and they bore me after a few months. I have high expectations and most women I date cannot reach them......even though I string them along as plates if they are good enough to keep me semi interested.

 

[lamath]

I am the same way. Its more of the conquest than it is anything else. The competition and thrill of the chase (so to speak).

I find that very few women interest me in enough ways to go past a 3-4 month period with just one of them. Another reason that I do try to maintain a rotation.

Its not that I am interested in a numbers count because I would love to find someone that has potential for a LTR and actually get there. Its that most (not all) women are so shallow or their drive/determination in life is low and they bore me after a few months. I have high expectations and most women I date cannot reach them......even though I string them along as plates if they are good enough to keep me semi interested.

Same here, even if i was very attracted to that women to begin with.
I wonder if its a women issue or its just me, it get to a point where i dont even want to **** them.....

 

[cola]

Good, mentally stable women bore me. I need a woman to have some type of “problem” I can fix so I can be her “hero”..

I’ve gotten much better over the years with this.

 

[tony.shai]

Good idea, I'll bite.

I have two issues, though I've come a long way in the past year or two on them.

2. I freeze a little making a move on a girl who's in my social circles. Or at least I have, in the past. To me it's kind of like being in the spotlight. Whereas if it's just a random chick I met, I don't mind making a move at all.

That's really fvcked up, especially if she rejects you. I seem to have the exact same issue and it's killing me. Could you elaborate on how you deal/dealt with that? I either get LJBF'd or rejected for some other stupid reason. I'm ok with random chicks too though.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good, mentally stable women bore me. I need a woman to have some type of “problem” I can fix so I can be her “hero”..

I’ve gotten much better over the years with this.

Those are the exact types that will pull you "under".

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@cola is right. There are a lot of good looking dudes on this forum (in a totally non gay way). I expected more of the guy living in his mom's basement that gets his hair cut every 3 months but a lot of you guys are knocking the fitness out of the park. Awesome job.

I would consider myself a slightly above average looking guy for being 42 in the market for 25-30 year olds but well above average in the eyes of women closer to my own age. It is a little trickier and tougher when you are trying to date younger women as the margin of error can be much smaller.

I also think that it is no surprise that most of the guys that posted pics that I would consider in the upper echelon of men seem to have the least issues with attracting women and start the fewest amount of threads on here about how women are confusing them. More than likely they have more options than the average guy and women are competing for them and not the other way around.

I recently started back on a rigorous diet and workout. The comments about Vitamin D from the pic thread was a reminder of how living in the upper part of the US can be taxing on the body and mind without it.

So my question is this: A lot of members have shown their pics and looks, which is a major part of what it takes to attract women. Yet that is just the beginning.

From an honest approach, lets also focus on this:

At what part of the attraction/interest process through the first couple of dates with a woman do you think you really need to improve? It can be any intent: Relationship, Plates, FWB, etc.

In short, what is the weak link that you would like to improve on your direct interactions with women to help you eliminate as much turnover as possible?

Keep up the great comments, insight and support on that pic thread. Great idea!

In my honest opinion you are one of the best forum contributers. A very simple and consistent plating and dating method which will yield success. You are very modest about the approach and not too high on yourself. And you know it works. They can't even help themselves.

My question is your support system in the ladies is likely the dating range you date 25-30. Do you more your age have animousity and disdain for your ability to date younger?

 

[Rictor1]

1) Self-Sabotage
2) Always either stuck in an extremely long LTR or unable to transition from FWB to a LTR.

My problems are currently self-sabotage and always constant fear that I'm being used solely for purposes of sex. What brought me to SS in the first place was a bad case of One-itis and an eye-opening experience after reading posts from Stormrider. His posts blew my mind and the frustrating part was that I always felt one step behind. I'd mess up with something and then a day later I swear he would post something about what I should have done that I wish I'd known. Except obviously this was pure coincidence and the things he says can be applicable to many guys new to SS.

I think that I pretty much KNOW what to do and I play everything well initially. But when I develop deeper feelings, part of me is afraid that I either wouldn't be accepted by the other person. So subconsciously I self-sabotage. And it isn't until I've completely burned the bridge that I can take a step back and see what I did. I went to extremes to get over my one-itis, but if we are to be completely honest, I could have gotten her if I didn't try so hard and if I had a certain level of detachment. I would even take it a step further and say that it was the wrong time to be red pilled. If I looked at her through the lenses of the blue pill, she would have been mine because she ALREADY LIKED ME. It was my game to lose. Part of me was just starting to wake to red pill theory so I kept questioning her intentions and motives and eventually the overanalyzation made me do insane things. But tbh? Red pill was still right because she threw me under the bus within a second of me rejecting her.

The only time I play everything perfectly is when I am not in love. In those situations (most common) I am able to say and do what I want and I am able to display my best qualities and features because there's no pressure.

I might be red pilled now, but part of my being still craves the comfort of believing the Disney ending is possible. And seeing everything through the lens of the red pill can be draining. Everything from movies, music, and every day life now is filtered through red pill lenses. I started laughing the other day when I was out and heard some store playing Taylor Swift's "I knew you were trouble." I kept thinking "haha she got demoted to plate status."

I think I know what to do, I just need to break bad habits. And I'm still working on navigating life through the lens of the red pill. I think it's about balance. I think too much of the red pill will cripple a healthy relationship or the development of one.

 

[Glassguy]

In my honest opinion you are one of the best forum contributers. A very simple and consistent plating and dating method which will yield success. You are very modest about the approach and not too high on yourself. And you know it works. They can't even help themselves.

My question is your support system in the ladies is likely the dating range you date 25-30. Do you more your age have animousity and disdain for your ability to date younger?

I dont pay attention to what women my age think. I do rarely date someone close to my age but its rare.

I just find women my age to be more jaded, less spontaneous, less active and not as fun frankly. There is always the rare exception but it's the norm.

I run into more things from the younger women. I get asked:

Why do you date younger women?
Do you think it's odd that you're attracted to women that are younger?

My responses:

Why don't you like dating men your age? (Because they act like teens).

Do you feel weird hanging out and having fun with me? Because I dont care what other people think.

Not to gloat, but I really dont get the dirty looks from women my age when I'm out with someone 25-30 because most people do think I look much younger than 42.

Its often more shock when they find out I'm their age and not the age range of the chick I'm with. Then they go hyper speed in dropping their IOIs because they think "what does this guy, who is my age, have that this 25 year old obviously likes and is attracted to?".
AKA what does this guy have to pull young chicks and I wonder if I can get a shot of it.

 

[Glassguy]

It's rare, but if someone expresses any kind of shaming toward me dating a younger woman, I respond by asking them if they would have a problem if my girl were black, or a man. Most people accept interracial and same sex relationships, but will question differences in age with impunity. I see it all as consenting adults and not anyone else's problem. Turn the PC tables back on them - people are hypocrites.

Its mainly jealousy and spite.

If men try to shame you for dating a younger attractive woman, they are jealous. Dont think for a second they wouldnt do it if they COULD.

If women try to shame you they are just spiteful. Its a slap in their face to an extent to see a man their own age with the capability to spin a chick 10-15 years younger than him (sometimes even more of a gap).

Give no fvcks to other's opinions. Put yourself first.

 

[Rictor1]

It's rare, but if someone expresses any kind of shaming toward me dating a younger woman, I respond by asking them if they would have a problem if my girl were black, or a man. Most people accept interracial and same sex relationships, but will question differences in age with impunity. I see it all as consenting adults and not anyone else's problem. Turn the PC tables back on them - people are hypocrites.

This is very true. And ageism still falls under "lookisms" but is not looked down upon as much as racism and the like. I'll never forget back when I was doing clinical rotations and one of my patients was in her 90s but looked 60ish due to a healthy lifestyle and genetics. My preceptor at the time kept shouting each time she addressed the lady. "HOW ARE YOU TODAY???" Whenever my preceptor would walk out of the room, the patient and I would just start laughing. And at one point I said, "you know, it doesn't say anywhere in your file that you're deaf. You're older, but you're not deaf." She laughed and said, "I'm used to people assuming that I am."

Imagine living through world wars, the civil rights movement, trials and tribulations of life, raising kids, raising grandkids, and then going in for hip surgery only to have someone constantly shout at you because they think you're deaf by default since you're old. Wtf.

 

[Focal core]

Good, mentally stable women bore me. I need a woman to have some type of “problem” I can fix so I can be her “hero”..

I’ve gotten much better over the years with this.

I always wanted that goodlooking emotionally stable boring women, wtf, i hardly encounter one. My last ex wife were pure BPD witch. Wtf again pffffffff...

 

[Focal core]

Those are the exact types that will pull you "under".

people fixer personallity cant help it dude, just accept that, like he said it gave him the satisfaction of doing so, so i know what we dealing with here.. Dont take it the wrong way @cola , you could done it better.

 

[Focal core]

@Glassguy no comment..i rarely comment on game thread or how to get that women attention thread etc, Im not easily attracted to women, i either take them to myside or dump them before anything serious even started, one thing i notice though i dont gave a damn about a women, yet i can have whoever i want. Not sure how it work that way though.. a natural i would say.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

people fixer personallity cant help it dude, just accept that, like he said it gave him the satisfaction of doing so, so i know what we dealing with here.. Dont take it the wrong way @cola , you could done it better.

We know that fixer mentality can get our li oeves damaged or people round us hurt. We need to identify it and thru discipline not fall into the "fixer traps".

 

[andreihaha]

I guess I'm not good at letting go women I shouldn't be with.
Atracting women wasn't really a problem for me, but that resulted in also attracting women that are not LTR-material.
But they are still very attractive women. Which can be a bit...blinding sometimes. So I sometimes do stay too much with a woman despite some obvious red flags.
I like to think that this is becoming less of a problem in recent years but only time will tell.

Also, I seem to attract quite a lot of skinny women. And I still give them a chance, even tho I know I like boobs. Man, boobs are great!