This is How Bad It's Getting Out There...

[zekko]

When I was in high school I had over 100 girls crushing on me.

That is not the average guy's experience, however. If most men "pay no attention to women", most women won't even notice. You have to be on their radar to begin with. Either because of looks, status, or as you say, dominance.

"Game" and cold approaching isn't for guys who have 100 girls crushing on them. It's for guys who aren't getting enough options and are wanting to choose some of the women they are dating. Because the ones who are coming to them aren't coming frequent enough or aren't high quality enough.

 

[zekko]

The right option for guys who lack options is actually social circles/environments that have a lot of women in it.

I agree there's a lot of "snake oil" to the PUA stuff. There are guys who swear by it though. A lot of it is weird, but a guy with limited options might do well playing the numbers game, or by putting himself out there more. I've always thought how well a guy does varies greatly by the individual - depends on his SMV and what his particular sticking points are.

Social circles are very good, for the reasons you describe. If guys are wanting to have some sort of super fantasy harem though, I don't know if they are going to get it through social circle. Not that I really care. I'm not going to feel sorry for a guy because he thinks he's entitled to 10 HB9s and he can only find a few HB7s to be hot for him.

Also, to have a very large social circle (or a lot of different social circles), you're going to have to spend nearly all your free time socializing. That might work well for some people, but not for others. I was willing to socialize heavily when I was in my 20s, but as I got older I realized I didn't care to put that much time into it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good point, I think @Amante Silvestre touched on it.

15 years ago a man had to build his roots in social circles and rise to power and attain social acuity. With it, develop a frame of reference that would allow him to qualify women.

With the invention of social media, guys Became lazy and skipped the step of social power creation. So what you have now is a bunch of manchild simps who don’t really have the social acuity to atttact women because all they know is spamming women. Spamming women in the clubs and OLD.

The right way to do it is to play the game like an politician. Developing social skills in environments with a lot of women in it. And rising in power and influence. This will autocorrect your frame and give you the “manual” as pook would say.

Inside your brain is both a king and a simp. Your brain knows how to be both. If you are not a dominant man of any social environment, it is rare for you brain to allow you to access the king frame. Unless you have really high self esteem.

What guys do is they try to skip the entire rites of passage of cultivating social circles and connections, aka access to resources and women, and just spam approach.

But their brains refuse to give them the manual and they end up as simps/puas.

I’ve preached about this for years and years. As soon as I took over a tribe that had women in it, it was as if I became self actualized. I magically started to carry the king frame and automatically qualified and dismissed every woman. It wasn’t even a conscious thing. My frame was completely embedded into my presence and every woman submitted to me right away nonverbally.

I even carried this frame into the night clubs. It was just dismiss dismiss dismiss for all the entitlement girls have going on. And when I hooked, it was hard. Like total supplication and admiration. Make out on the spot.

Seems like only a few men in this forum know what I am talking about. Probably because most guys skipped the whole “become a dominant leader of tribes” part when growing up.

It’s a rites of passage that you cannot skip if you want to access your highest frame. Unless of course, you have an incredible sense of sovereignty.

Can you be "king frame" and commit or allow "simp" actions? Cause the women will "simp test" you.

 

[zekko]

Socializing is not actually a lifestyle. I’ve met some women and social circles camping, hiking, gym, volunteering, and doing amateur photography. It’s all within my ecosystem. I am not reaching out and stretching myself thin.

It's not a stretch to you because the hobbies and activities you are naturally interested in have women in them, and get you out of the house. A guy who's interested in chess, model railroads, and video games probably isn't going to be in the same position.

Also, to run a social group takes a certain amount of ability. To learn how to dominate any group of men (or mixed group) you encounter is probably harder than trying to learn pickup.

 

[Rictor1]

It's not a stretch to you because the hobbies and activities you are naturally interested in have women in them, and get you out of the house. A guy who's interested in chess, model railroads, and video games probably isn't going to be in the same position.

Also, to run a social group takes a certain amount of ability. To learn how to dominate any group of men (or mixed group) you encounter is probably harder than trying to learn pickup.

I think I remember you saying something similar before. But I also think you are not giving yourself enough credit. I think you are fully capable of achieving what Stormrider is trying to explain to you. I did this without knowing it was a thing. I'm going to do my best to explain why you're capable of achieving it, but I am not the best with words so I hope it makes sense.

Ok so think back to when we were kids, either before we hit puberty or maybe after (but not that long after). While I can't relate to being into model railroads, I was really into Magic the Gathering, some video games, and Legos. Essentially, nerd stuff. But at the same time, I was always the most dominant one in class (not for the right reasons, but bear with me). I would say that I didn't start looking good until I got older. And ironically, I keep looking better year after year as I'm aging. But even back then as a kid when I was very self-conscious, I'd have girls (not ALL, but MANY) that were into me just because 1) they were around me very often and certain facets of my personality were allowed to shine through, 2) I was a dominant force in my social environment and 3) I also hit puberty a little earlier so while many girls were ahead of the boys in terms of development, many saw me as being the best option due to maturing fast enough for them.

I don't think dominating a social group always requires learning how to. I never learned how to. I just do it. I think it's about cultivating aspects of your personality that are dominant. You are a man, so I know you have these attributes, it's impossible not to.

While we aren't kids anymore, I refuse to believe that there aren't activities you're interested in that involve having women in them as a side effect. The idea is to already be doing things that you enjoy and being around women at the same time. But not so much trying to fit something in just to look for women. I've read a lot of your posts and I really believe that has to be things you like that women also like.

 

[RickTheToad]

I saw someone link a wiki page that was exclusively for incels and blackpill info on here. The entire website was just one big ****ing meme, it was honestly hilarious. I checked it out just because it kept me laughing irl. They did have some scientific literature in there with some real dark stuff though, which is always a good slap in the face for another wakeup call.

They are losers. Losers hanging out with more losers = usually harmless losers... Usually.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hell yeah. I’m gonna rock that sh*t.

Get to it. Ig you subscribe through Swagbucks.com, you'll save 12 bucks.

 

[Mike32ct]

To learn how to dominate any group of men (or mixed group) you encounter is probably harder than trying to learn pickup.

It would also be very tiring and draining for an introvert.

 

[skinnyguy]

I agree with @stormrider that social media has made it easier for average women to get laid. Tons of thirsty guys on social media.

what young guys need to understand is that their window is between 18 to 25. After that, the women worth getting are taken.

I know guys on here are anti marriage. and with good reason. Most girls (in our caliber) are kinda ****ty. But the most successful men out there are all married or partnered. They lock it down early. It’s not that hard for them because of their SMV. If you’re high SMV, and you find a quality woman early, marriage makes sense. A lot of them wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for their wives.

 

[zekko]

I think I remember you saying something similar before. But I also think you are not giving yourself enough credit.

I'm not talking about myself lol. I'm just saying that what approach works best for you has a lot to do with your own individual attributes. But I am certainly more of a proponent of self improvement than PUA techniques.

The most dominant person is the one who takes responsibility for the group. He is able to put the betterment of the group before himself and people over time respond to him as if he was the leader.

In many cases, the leader of the group has to at least be somewhat knowledgeable about the activity, and preferably very knowledgeable. If I decide to take up mountain climbing, I sure hope the leader of the group knows more about it than I do. I'm not going to try to assume leadership of that group, and probably get somebody killed, just so I can say I'm dominating the group.

Anyway, if you're just trying to be encouraging and inspiring, why would the women in the group be so deathly afraid of you?

 

[biggoal]

I agree with @stormrider that social media has made it easier for average women to get laid. Tons of thirsty guys on social media.

what young guys need to understand is that their window is between 18 to 25. After that, the women worth getting are taken.

I know guys on here are anti marriage. and with good reason. Most girls (in our caliber) are kinda ****ty. But the most successful men out there are all married or partnered. They lock it down early. It’s not that hard for them because of their SMV. If you’re high SMV, and you find a quality woman early, marriage makes sense. A lot of them wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for their wives.

Then why do these men end up getting divorced. Trump got divorced. Most of them are old too who got married early. Most successful people who get married early get divorced. Look at sports players and celebs. Many marry young and divorced within two years. Maybe 50 years ago, yea, but most marriages don't work now.

 

[biggoal]

I'm talking to an HB7.5 Asian on match right now back and forth. She's 40, has a grad degree and is in the medical field, has two kids and currently separated. Right now talking about favorite vacation spots. I'm worried I'm going to trip on my d*ck and say too much and get ditched or nothing after a first date again. Notice I get replies and women chat me up but then I text text and text and no second date or ghosted.

Any advice with Asians? VERY few within 100 miles of here. More rare than a golden unicorn.

 

[captainsemiobvious]

The most dominant person is the one who takes responsibility for the group. He is able to put the betterment of the group before himself and people over time respond to him as if he was the leader.

But these people are not the ones getting laid or getting dates. They're doing all of the dirty work to make it as easy and convenient as possible for the beautiful people to attend their parties. If they were one of the cool kids they wouldn't have to put in any extra work to get people to hang out with them. Those who are average to below average in looks and status can still hang with the cool kids as long as they do the dirty work for them.

If you find yourself in this supposedly "dominant" role more often than not, it's because you are lower status and are pinned with all of the grunt work to ensure you remain in the cool groups good graces.

The payoff for all of this hard work is the rub they get from hanging out with the "cool crowd" and potentially lucking into a lay, or at least meeting a second tier person within the social circle. Very often, they get absolutely nothing or settle for the lowest hanging fruit.

The right option for guys who lack options is actually social circles/environments that have a lot of women in it.

There, the women are less picky, you can easily elevate your status through reputation, and you would internalize female behavior through the process of osmosis.

Simply existing around women will erase a lot of your social awkwardness.

Don’t worry middling status guys – nature didn’t forget about you. Nature created a perfect design.

I figured it all out so that you guys don’t have to.

(found the quote, above)
Also, not sure who made this point, but someone claimed that average and below average guys can get good results through social circles. Again, I am not seeing this happen. Social circles reflect the same dynamics of online dating and nightlife cold approaching. Lower and average status guys tend to get nothing from social circles if they are interested in dating the more attractive women.

Usually, they don't get any dates at all, or they only get action from the lowest status women in the group, and only then after the low status women have given up on the possibility of dating the good looking men or man within the group. There is no "cheat code" for anyone in the dating game.

 

[zekko]

Maybe one day I will write a post about having a dominant mindset.

I have no doubt you have a great mindset, and that you have much to say on the topic that is of value. But when you say you had over 100 girls crushing on you in high school, that tells me a few things:

1) That is an incredible amount of very positive feedback at a very young and developmental age. And yes, I consider high school developmental age, especially for a male, who takes longer to mature. You basically had it drilled into your head that women found you attractive at a key point in your development. You would have had to work like a dog to undo all this positivity and end up with weak inner game, and even then I'm not sure you would have been successful.

2) To attract that many girls at a young age without even trying means you must have had some very attractive attributes, whether it be looks or status. Or maybe you were just very gregarious. You might attribute this to your mindset or creating your own reality, but I can't help but think that there were other attributes you had at play that were a bigger factor in creating all that attraction.

 

[captainsemiobvious]

2) To attract that many girls at a young age without even trying means you must have had some very attractive attributes, whether it be looks or status. Or maybe you were just very gregarious.

Or, 3) he's delusional re: The "You Get What You F'ing Deserve!" Joker.

 

[captainsemiobvious]

Troll lol.

Some guys have more advantages but dominance is universal across the board.

Another shade of dominance is the less you care about external validation, the more unreactive and dominant you are. We’ve all had these universal experiences where we didn’t give a fvck and women seemed to react more positively to us.

Dominance is inversely related to caring about social approval. What I mean is if you completely don’t give a fvck about people’s approval, you come across as very dominant to women. This is why those bad boy outcasts do so well with women. Some of these bad boys even appear “ugly” where we scratch our heads and wonder how they clean up so well.

Another expression of dominance is vulnerability and freedom of expression. We’ve all experienced total self confidence and not being afraid to be vulnerable. Contrary to popular belief, a dominant guy does not protect himself. He openly flaunts his vulnerability. In fact, vulnerability might be one of the most attractive qualities to women.

How many times have we heard of the archetypical bad boy who is impervious to social acceptance BUT.........who also has a vulnerable side?

This is just women trying to describe dominance.

There is also dominance as a master of a craft. Women find it sexy when a guy performs a certain task like an expert. Some might call this “confidence.” Confidence for the most part is just mastering a certain act because you did it over and over again.

Then there is dominance as a state. Some guys have resilient state. No matter what happens, their internal state isn’t affected. These guys are laser focused in their purpose and are very stoic. Because they spend all their time fulfilling their goals, their expression is completely transparent (meaning they are not carrying around a false persona) and nothing external can affect them. These are like the CEOs of the world who can give speeches to 100,000 people. They have bulletproof frame that is impervious to social pressure.


I have given you all these forms of dominance that you have undoubtedly seen attract women your whole entire life, or perhaps you’ve even possessed some of these qualities yourself and seen women respond positively to it. These are qualities that have nothing to do with looks or height or anything you can’t control.

If you give all these badass dominant qualities to a guy who is at least at a 6/10 and put him into a social circle full of women, I guarantee you he will clean up.

And this is just the surface. I haven’t even gone deep into the rabbit hole of dominance.

There are reasons why men are capable of possessing these qualities and why women are attracted to it. It has something to do with how women are inherently weak by nature and therefore hyper reactive. They almost need a 6th sense to survive. This is why it feels like many women can see right through you. Women are like rabbits. They need to be aware of everything in order to survive.

Men are the physically stronger sex. We are supposed to be unreactive. And I don’t mean pretend to be unreactive like these puas. Inside your brain there is something called “awareness radius.” When women do not appear on your radar, they will be curious and try to get your attention.

When nothing appears on your radar, then you have a very dominant frame. It means that you don’t perceive anything as a threat. Just like how a bear looks completely at ease in a forest. It can sleep, eat, and sh1t anywhere. This type of oblivious behavior is very attractive to women. It signifies you have no threats. It signifies power.

When women dont appear on your awareness radius, it looks like you already have abundance. This is why guys who do well with women often pay them “no mind.”

The most dominant men usually walk around as if they are oblivious. The weak men are completely stuck in their heads. It’s because the weak men are hyper reactive. A thousand things appear on their awareness radius. “Do I look cool today? Do my clothes match? Am I tall enough? Is my hair okay? Omg theirs Stacy, my dream crush.”

Meanwhile unreactive Steve walks by and Stacy is the hyper reactive one stuck in her head thinking “Omg there’s Steve. He’s so hunky. He’s so mysterious.”

Steve: *completely oblivious to evrything* I wonder what I’m going to have for lunch.

At the end of the day, it’s all about the law of the land. It’s all about power and strength. Those who attribute it to only looks have a very limited view. Powerful men come in all shapes and sizes.

Maybe I got lucky. Or maybe I’m just a genius. Whatever the case may be, you have all seen these qualities in attractive men in your lifetime. You might have even possessed some of these qualities. And everytime you did, you felt the masculine power.

P.S. Here is a bonus expression of dominance. The one you’ve seen in the night clubs all the time. Being outside your head. The opposite is neuroticness. One guy is social, friendly, has a cool vibe, is personable, and the other guy is self conscious, insecure, and afraid to express himself. He is completely needy and neurotic.

You can’t do anything about the cards you were dealt. But any guy can possess masculine dominance and transcend his limits. It is built into your DNA.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm talking to an HB7.5 Asian on match right now back and forth. She's 40, has a grad degree and is in the medical field, has two kids and currently separated. Right now talking about favorite vacation spots. I'm worried I'm going to trip on my d*ck and say too much and get ditched or nothing after a first date again. Notice I get replies and women chat me up but then I text text and text and no second date or ghosted.

Any advice with Asians? VERY few within 100 miles of here. More rare than a golden unicorn.

Move to Asian town. Google is your friend.

Florida Cities With The Largest Asian Population For 2024

The most Asian places in Florida are Pinellas Park and Lake Mary for 2024 based on Saturday Night Science.

www.homesnacks.net

 

[biggoal]

Move to Asian town. Google is your friend.

Florida Cities With The Largest Asian Population For 2024

The most Asian places in Florida are Pinellas Park and Lake Mary for 2024 based on Saturday Night Science.

www.homesnacks.net

I noticed they're all in the younger urban areas or college town like Gainesville. Why none in my retirement region? Not fair.

 

[RickTheToad]

I noticed they're all in the younger urban areas or college town like Gainesville. Why none in my retirement region? Not fair.

Most sexually active people do not want to be around the Geritol Gang.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Most sexually active people do not want to be around the Geritol Gang.

What about spending 90% od their time round bull dyke lesbians? That surely should be good for sex drive and erections.