Recovering after being dumped

[Rawksteddy]

Why sleep with the ex when you have a new fwb?

We have all been in your shoes, keep that in mind. My advice comes from doing exactly what you've planned several times.

Firstly she’s hot and a good lay. If I can keep her as just a fock buddy, then I will have two. Which increases abundance and should drive my smv up which leads to more fwb and more options. Her personality has always been sh!t anyway. I just got used to having her around and talking to her all the time. But after she tried to be just friends, I told her no, went 15 days without talking to her and now over her. I read so many books and so much material in this forum. I’ve completely changed the way I think about things. I’m not getting back together with her and I won’t be orbitting. Just casual sex buddy. If it doesn’t work for her or she’s not down. Then I’ll delete and block.

 

[Rawksteddy]

Firstly she’s hot and a good lay. If I can keep her as just a fock buddy, then I will have two. Which increases abundance and should drive my smv up which leads to more fwb and more options. Her personality has always been sh!t anyway. I just got used to having her around and talking to her all the time. But after she tried to be just friends, I told her no, went 15 days without talking to her and now over her. I read so many books and so much material in this forum. I’ve completely changed the way I think about things. I’m not getting back together with her and I won’t be orbitting. Just casual sex buddy. If it doesn’t work for her or she’s not down. Then I’ll delete and block.

This is my understanding of how it works. Since she flaked on me twice and broke up with me. She has to do all the initiating. When she initiates I don’t try to meet up or set dates. Take minimum 4 hour response time. And end the conversation. (Exactly like i did). “Nice hearing from you keep in touch”. She has to initiate the meetup. But. I don’t take her on a date. I tell her to grab a bottle of wine and come over. She comes over, we drink a bit, then have sex. Rinse and repeat.
So far this is working. I did exactly this and now she’s asking “hey I’d like to hang out if you still want to”. During the breakup I was very clear that I’m not interested in a friendship relationship. So as I build my rotation she can be in it.

 

[Rawksteddy]

Then your other FWB is totally meaningless

she’s hot too though and also a good lay

 

[Rawksteddy]

This is my understanding of how it works. Since she flaked on me twice and broke up with me. She has to do all the initiating. When she initiates I don’t try to meet up or set dates. Take minimum 4 hour response time. And end the conversation. (Exactly like i did). “Nice hearing from you keep in touch”. She has to initiate the meetup. But. I don’t take her on a date. I tell her to grab a bottle of wine and come over. She comes over, we drink a bit, then have sex. Rinse and repeat.
So far this is working. I did exactly this and now she’s asking “hey I’d like to hang out if you still want to”. During the breakup I was very clear that I’m not interested in a friendship relationship. So as I build my rotation she can be in it.

Any which way this works. If she agrees to it then I have an additional fwb. If she doesn’t agree with it then I cut her loose. If I start to catch feelings then I just go NC and stay NC. (When I say agree I mean through her actions not words)

Unless I’m wrong about something?? She lied to me. So lacks integrity. Therefore she can only be phuck buddy material. Is this wrong?

 

[Rawksteddy]

They why would you submit to the imperative of your cheating, lying ex who is secretly laughing her azz off at your lack of self esteem to tell her to **** off? Do you not understand it is torture for them to be ignored? You aren't making sense and treating sex as a scarcity worth your dignity.

There’s no question that she’s scum but it’s not as though I have to worry about her stealing from my house or anything.

I didn’t know that it’s torture for her to be ignored. But why should I be focused on hurting her or seeking revenge? I still have to take responsibility for acting like a weak b!tch in the relationship do I not? I need to understand your endgame here? Or an explanation of how or why mine is destined to fail.

Because I don’t give a crap about hurting her or alternatively making her feel good. I just want to be selfish in this situation and have her as a no strings attached f*ck buddy. I plan on remaining emotionally detached and just hooking up with her once a week.

 

[Carson02]

There is no rationalizing taking another shot of heroin, no matter how small.

 

[bcude]

You're lying to yourself. You're not over her and detached after just 15 days, from here it looks like you're angry and hurt and not in a state where you can have emotionless sex with an ex. People here have been in your situation many times and speak out of experience. You've gotten great advice in the thread, read it again. If not, you've to learn the hard way and that is maybe the best teacher in this case. Good luck, but be careful to protect your heart.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

Firstly she’s hot and a good lay.

Theres plenty of them around, go get ya one of them.

 

[Rawksteddy]

Theres plenty of them around, go get ya one of them.

I know maybe I’m a bit of a hoarder. Hahahaha

 

[Rawksteddy]

Force her to miss you and force her to go be a slvt and find a new backup.

That’s funny and true lol.

She’s manipulative and a waste of time. No point in investing anything into a person that is only going to take away instead of adding to your life. I can see by her actions a malicious narcissist type intention. I think she’s really good at hiding it but she uses everyone around her, including my/her friends that are girls. My gut was telling me things when I was with her and turned out to be 100% correct. Yes I can have sex with her but she’s toxic af.

The positive take-away is that this whole drama has woke me up and caused me to realize the importance of not becoming complacent. To learn about proper seduction and vision and not to take sh!t but instead just walk away.

So back to NC. Day 3: It was a good day hahaha.