Why Do We Ignore Obvoius Red Flags?

[soulforge]

What is it about puzzy, that even when we sense danger, and our gut instinct is screaming that something is wrong..

We continue to kid ourselves and believe shyte will workout?

I want to hear about your experience of ignoring Red Flags, and how that worked out for you?

 

[gettinit]

I could write for quite a while, but I'll sum it up. It never worked out. The best puzzy can put blinders on a man until he learns to just pull them off, look the demon straight in the eye...

And F*ch her again.

 

[ubercat]

Combo of optimism and arrogance. Every man thinks he s god's gift to the ladies in spite of all evidence contrary.

And everybody wants a unicorn who just loves them for who they are.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It comes from insecurity and ego. We use sex to feed our egos and make us feel “complete” as men. When we develop ourselves where we obtain masculine validation from within, that problem disappears.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Combo of optimism and arrogance. Every man thinks he s god's gift to the ladies in spite of all evidence contrary.

And everybody wants a unicorn who just loves them for who they are.

No unicorns and no gods gifts

 

[Black Widow Void]

Glad to read that other members are also recognizing self-accountability; rather than always shifting 100% blame on the gal.

Years ago, met a gal that to this day, she and I seemed to be quite in sync. This also included our negative traits as well Neither she nor I gave much 'wiggle room' for the other when it came to disagreements. When it was good, it was great and when it was bad, it was very bad.

After one of the many semi-break ups (usually lasting three to four days) I did some thinking and came to a positive realization. I shared this with her; thinking that this would solve nearly all our conflicts. I was rather stoked because it was like finding that missing piece of the puzzle.

I told her that I now realized that the things that bothered me about her ... were actually identical traits that also resided within me. She was also the introspective type and I figured that after sharing my epiphany, we'd get a good laugh at our own selves. Then, we'd work through our own stuff and the relationship would move forward.

Instead, her response was... "I see these things in you, but I don't see them within myself."
That's a red flag not just slapping me in the face, but pinning me down and saying "walk away now."
For the next year or so, when things were good, my clothes were ironed, she cooked and secks was always there. But, conflicts always continually occurred. She was the same version a year later and I wasn't (I continued to work on myself).

There actually is a silver lining to all this.
Throughout my childhood and adult life, I could never figure out why my parents got married in the first place (they divorced after a few years) . Following their divorce, their complaints about the other were also the very traits that they each possessed. They never saw the negatives within themselves; only in the other. With my relationship I described above, I was now able to better understand my folks and why they married and why they divorced.

 

[Hal9000]

When I'd get that feeling I would either bale or shift into just sex mode and out of looking for a steady girl mode. Once the mask comes off and you see crazy you need to believe it wasn't an isolated event and that there's a whole bunch more crazy yet to be revealed.

 

[Serenity]

I only really have one experience such as that and it didn't last long at all. I was inexperienced and fairly desperate, but had hard limits that I didn't even know I had. I met this girl and from the first moment I sensed something was wrong, but I was desperate enough to proceed anyways. I was convinced she was lying and hiding things by the second date, but I didn't confront it. It made me so uneasy that by the fourth date I ghosted her.

I just ignored the red flags for a few days before I failed at lying to myself, I have no tolerance for such shenanigans.

 

[will123]

I only really have one experience such as that and it didn't last long at all. I was inexperienced and fairly desperate, but had hard limits that I didn't even know I had. I met this girl and from the first moment I sensed something was wrong, but I was desperate enough to proceed anyways. I was convinced she was lying and hiding things by the second date, but I didn't confront it. It made me so uneasy that by the fourth date I ghosted her.

I just ignored the red flags for a few days before I failed at lying to myself, I have no tolerance for such shenanigans.

Can completely relate to this. I had got instincts when a woman was lying or withholding things.

What's the best way to deal with bad behaviour, including red flags. Do you confront it, or walk away? I've felt if you react then you are showing them you have been moved and are weak and not in control.

 

[devilkingx2]

I don't think anybody truly ignores red flags, I think that the thought process is usually "who cares about what might be bad later when she'll give me pvssy now?"

It takes one hell of a red flag for you to say "I'd rather be single and masturbating" BEFORE anything has even happened yet! That red flag would need to place her on a most wanted list or something.

There's tons of red flags I ignore because I want pvssy today over relationship stability in April

 

[soulforge]

I don't think anybody truly ignores red flags, I think that the thought process is usually "who cares about what might be bad later when she'll give me pvssy now?"

It takes one hell of a red flag for you to say "I'd rather be single and masturbating" BEFORE anything has even happened yet! That red flag would need to place her on a most wanted list or something.

There's tons of red flags I ignore because I want pvssy today over relationship stability in April

This kind of... I want puzzy NOW and will worry about the red flags later thinking... Is exactly why we end up in toxic situations.

Been there myself... We are on that sexual high, and keep kidding ourselves things will be fine.

Next thing you know.. Another BDP thread goes up on SS.

And the the usual questioning begins...

Hell why did I ignore the Red Flags?

Why did I ignore my gut instinct when it was warning me?

 

[cola]

Once you get to the point you don’t easily catch feelings even red flag chicks are fair game because you can f*ck then and feel no attachment.

 

[Serenity]

What's the best way to deal with bad behaviour, including red flags. Do you confront it, or walk away? I've felt if you react then you are showing them you have been moved and are weak and not in control.

Which option I choose is highly dependent on several things. In the situation I mentioned I saw no point in confronting it as it was unlikely to have a positive outcome, so I walked away and went on to more fruitful things in my life. I would have confronted it if I thought there was any point in doing so, but I had seen enough of her already to predict her behavior, she would just have added infinite layers of lies onto it.

Reacting, or rather responding to something isn't the defining action that displays weakness. What's weak is responding, getting the same sh!tty reaction as before and not letting it go. It shows a great deal of power to call something out, draw the lines, warn about the consequences and most importantly following through with the consequences. It's the last step most people fail at, they don't enforce what they speak and instead hand out chance after chance. Their words are regarded as empty threats, that is the weakness. If you tell someone that if you catch them doing X again you'll walk, then you better walk if they do.

There's also another situational factor that matter a lot when deciding to confront or walk, whether or not I'm practically stuck with them. If a co-worker disrespects me I can't exactly leave without negative consequences to myself, so in that case I'll definitely confront and go hard until there's a solution I can accept. With a woman I have no commitment towards it's easier to walk away than to fight, I risk more by confrontation (time and energy).

Whichever approach I take to dealing with it I never let it take me over. There's a big difference between reacting and responding, the first one is uncontrolled while the other one is calculated. In the calculated approach to confrontation I have a plan B, plan C and so forth, one of which may very well be to turn around and walk away.

 

[soulforge]

Once you get to the point you don’t easily catch feelings even red flag chicks are fair game because you can f*ck then and feel no attachment.

This is the best place to be... No feelings.. Keep fukin.. No harm can come of it to you, once emotions and feelings are taken out of the picture.

However there is always that ONE girl who may drop your guard.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is the best place to be... No feelings.. Keep fukin.. No harm can come of it to you, once emotions and feelings are taken out of the picture.

However there is always that ONE girl who may drop your guard.

A red flag lady can still rob you and get into your business or cause mischief.

 

[RangerMIke]

All humans suffer from a condition called 'confirmation bias' we look for facts, and make assumptions that support or emotional decision making. The entire commercial advertising industry, uses confirmation bias to get you to buy their products. If we did not have confirmation bias then no one would EVER buy a brand new car. That action is the most irrational thing anyone can do. This is why in the US was have Fox News and MSNBC... they pander to different ends of the political spectrum. Someone that has an emotional liberal philosophy will not watch Fox because they don't want to hear something they disagree with: an emotional conservative will not watch MSNBC for the same reason.

As far as my personal "red flag" ignoring story... it was my ex-wife. I completely ignored the fact that her family was a collection of lunatics. Really... first time I visited her parents home, it looked like an episode of "Horders" there was cr@p pilled up all over the place... her younger brother's looked like child versions of Marilyn Manson.... Her dad sat catatonic in his recliner, all her young sibs were being "home schooled" by her lunatic mother. They were all fat @sses, accept my ex. After seeing that sh!t show, I should have run screaming.... But I convinced myself, she wasn't like them, and that somehow she would appreciate me for taking her from all that. Well.... lesson learned, the acorn does not fall far from the tree. It wasn't even three moths of marriage that all this crazy @ss BS started coming out. Truth is otherwise in my life, I've actually been really rational in people I let get close to me. I am still very good friends with people I was friends with in elementary school.

The best way to avoid this trap is to make a mental note of all the things you do not like about a particular chick and keep telling yourself "If you don't like this now... with time you will HATE it." It's hard for men to do because we automatically roll into 'sales mode' trying to close the deal. Women, while more emotional, when it comes to relationships with men, are very pragmatic... they are the 'buyers' and they automatically look for reasons to filter you out, but even then the truth is women end up in relationships with men that are bad for them with greater frequency than men with women.

 

[Toddz]

Because ignorance is bliss and we think with our di*ks.

She could be a tattoo covered bartender with a drug habit and an ex in jail but we'll overlook all of that if she is hot as fu*k...

Most if not all of us are guilty of overlooking red flags. It's human nature to focus on the positive attributes (aka looks) while ignoring the negative ones.

It's okay as long as those red flags don't come back to haunt you. Which could be in the form of an accidental pregnancy (she claimed she was on birth control), in jail (she accuses you of something), or bankrupt (married > divorced and clears you out financially).

None of those examples have thankfully happened to me (knock on wood). I'd like to think I have wised up over the years and careful now in selecting who I get involved with.

Remember gents, that dime piece is single for a reason. In this day in age, it's almost like playing Russian roulette getting involved with one.

 

[MountainSlide]

What is it about puzzy, that even when we sense danger, and our gut instinct is screaming that something is wrong..

We continue to kid ourselves and believe shyte will workout?

I want to hear about your experience of ignoring Red Flags, and how that worked out for you?

Easy answer.

This is the male version of validation seeking behaviour. You’re using her, because she’s beautiful, to boost your ego. Even though she’s not compatible with your personality. She’s hot. And the sex is good. So you ignore the red flags

 

[Roober]

Like @Atom Smasher said, if it confirms what they know to be true, they will follow the group. Very few will challenge their mental state to engage in the warfare that we engage here with women. And I mean that figuratively of course.

There are a couple general known truths due to wicked amalgamation of decades of social justice and the nature of men.

1. Men sacrifice, we always have and always will. Social justice interprets this as men should sacrifice for their women.

2. Men are the workhorses. Social justice looks at the small portion of deadbeat dads and creates liberal divorce laws and the welfare state. As a result, men should support their family regardless if they are in his home or not.

The issue is that most modern men see the social justice perspective and ignore the inherent male qualities that protect the family, but also work symbiotically with the female nature. So women essentially get all the benefits of male attributes and the states help to enforce them. This leads to complacency by both sexes...

And why? Because it confirms what men know to be true. Once you see the big picture (divorce statistics), only then will their "truth" change. In my world, I would call it...

Unconscious incompetence - they don't know what they don't know

Such a state is the foundation of ignorance and explains the growth of the welfare state, socialism, and many other problems.

 

[cola]

A red flag lady can still rob you and get into your business or cause mischief.

How?