Going to meet that cute 49 yr old teacher tonight. How to keep frame?

[Black Widow Void]

Righteousness?
Would you say a coach, yelling at his athletes that they'll never win if they continue to play poorly, is filled with righteousness?

Absolutely.
If a person with knowledge does not share his wisdom (aiding in helping another) but instead only points fingers, then yep.... such behavior does indeed fall under self-righteousness.

Hitting closer to home here....
It was a given that the OP was going to go through with his meeting, no matter our opinion.
With this knowledge....

The righteous will spout off opinions, but offer no "tips" (as the OP requested)
A contributing person (despite seeing an unfavorable outcome) will help arm the forum member with the best possible "tips" in order to prevent further damage.

I'll give @biggoal some credit. From reading his followups, he appears to be learning and avoiding some past mistakes.
Unlike a previous female meeting, he did not empty his wallet for this new one.
If she greeted him with a sincere hug, then obviously he's got more game than giving off the "creepy" vibe.

Even if we don't score on a female meeting, it's good experience.
Bottom line... he seemed to enjoy himself.
He still won.

 

[CBear]

Absolutely.
If a person with knowledge does not share his wisdom (aiding in helping another) but instead only points fingers, then yep.... such behavior does indeed fall under self-righteousness.

Hitting closer to home here....
It was a given that the OP was going to go through with his meeting, no matter our opinion.
With this knowledge....

The righteous will spout off opinions, but offer no "tips" (as the OP requested)
A contributing person (despite seeing an unfavorable outcome) will help arm the forum member with the best possible "tips" in order to prevent further damage.

I'll give @biggoal some credit. From reading his followups, he appears to be learning and avoiding some past mistakes.
Unlike a previous female meeting, he did not empty his wallet for this new one.
If she greeted him with a sincere hug, then obviously he's got more game than giving off the "creepy" vibe.

Even if we don't score on a female meeting, it's good experience.
Bottom line... he seemed to enjoy himself.
He still won.

Remember when you pointed fingers at me for PERCEIVING that I was pointing fingers at others and looking down upon you when that clearly wasn't the case? This is ME providing YOU input on that mindset. It can hold you back mentally because you will think that you want the best for someone and have their best interest in mind without understanding the point of views of others and ultimately deeming them as not helpful or not contributing to anything without looking at those contributions realistically or optimistically. My point is let it be. Everyone has their own say and if they really feel like contributing, it's usually because of a connection or past experience that lead them to do so (unless they're trolling). You must also must understand that some people will want others to listen to them over and over and give them advice but they never decide to mold their mindset or implement things in a different manner. Many people who value their time will stop contributing after a while as they see it as being a lost cause. If you're willing to keep giving advice over and over again, there's nothing wrong with it, just don't bash other people when you don't understand where THEY'RE coming from.

 

[Spaz]

You are going to meet someone after they watch a movie? They are going to be thinking about the movie they experienced and you are going to be the boring guy afterwards. You already have a weak frame because of the timing of the date. Make up an excuse that something has come up and set up a time when its not after they finished a movie. Just have plans otherwise in case they flake on you.

This is wrong advice.

Movies are a great, just buy some popcorns, drinks and 2 tickets for whatever horror movie that's showing.

She'll be so full of emotions, doesn't matter if its good emotions or bad ones.

As long as she's highly strung up, you're in a good position to showcase some manly skills.

When on a date, you basically need women to be on an emotional roller coaster.

 

[Black Widow Void]

@CBear
I don't recall specifically making an accusation toward you, but I'll accept it as truth. After all, I constantly make mistakes like everyone else. If I was in error, I offer an apology.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

If a person with knowledge does not share his wisdom (aiding in helping another) but instead only points fingers, then yep.... such behavior does indeed fall under self-righteousness.

Interesting opinion.

 

[biggoal]

Absolutely.
If a person with knowledge does not share his wisdom (aiding in helping another) but instead only points fingers, then yep.... such behavior does indeed fall under self-righteousness.

Hitting closer to home here....
It was a given that the OP was going to go through with his meeting, no matter our opinion.
With this knowledge....

The righteous will spout off opinions, but offer no "tips" (as the OP requested)
A contributing person (despite seeing an unfavorable outcome) will help arm the forum member with the best possible "tips" in order to prevent further damage.

I'll give @biggoal some credit. From reading his followups, he appears to be learning and avoiding some past mistakes.
Unlike a previous female meeting, he did not empty his wallet for this new one.
If she greeted him with a sincere hug, then obviously he's got more game than giving off the "creepy" vibe.

Even if we don't score on a female meeting, it's good experience.
Bottom line... he seemed to enjoy himself.
He still won.

I still think she'll end up ghosting me because of my age. She mentioned age a number of times over the last month why she cant see it working out. We will see if she still talks to me.

If she doesn't should I be pissed off a 49 yr old dropped me?

 

[MrWood]

If she doesn't should I be pissed off a 49 yr old dropped me?

we are not here to tell you how you should FEEL

wtf?

 

[6_Magnet]

I didnt pay a penny for it. No bets buxxing. What you mean put her in her place? By asking for an actual date just her and i?

No dude. When they told you to find girls in their 30's or something. You should have said "yeah, I shouldn't have come to the old folks home" or something. You let them **** on you. GRANDMAS.

 

[2Rocky]

Congratulations on actually talking in person to a woman.

Oh and you CAN leave your mother alone. She is an adult and she raised your ass.

don't ask a bunch of internet strangers to determine your standards and your feelings. If this particular 49 year old passes the boner test,and you don't screw it up with your autistic overthinking, you might actually lose your virginity.

 

[biggoal]

No dude. When they told you to find girls in their 30's or something. You should have said "yeah, I shouldn't have come to the old folks home" or something. You let them **** on you. GRANDMAS.

It kinda remind me of Marge's sisters on the Simpsons. You know how they critique everything and agree with each other when talking?

 

[Young OG]

Maybe on the way home, you could swing by the local nursing home and run some game

 

[biggoal]

Talked (texted) her a bit tonight to see how her day went, and that like I usually do. I was a bit more flirty like I am sometimes though. nothing major but just little comments.

The one thing that stood out when I met her she went right up to me and gave the usual side hug, but how she basically put her head up right against mine (best she could for being about 5-2) and really snuggled up unlike many women who just give a friendly side hug during the first meeting, especially from OLD while they're still a bit cautious. just struck me a bit because it seemed a bit more intimate how she grabbed as well, kinda like a little kid running to mom after she gets home and holds on tight.

As I described before she's always be hesitant about the age gap and commented a lot about that and finding someone my own age but still keeps talking to me.

So what would be the best way to go about this to maintain her interest? She's busy this weekend with her friend and her brother is down and school starts up next week so she will be busier again. How should I get an actual official first date out of her without making myself sound pushy? She likes to go to the beach to watch the sunset a lot alone. She's busy some weeknights, lucky one of them is Wed nights her church rehab group she attends while I'm working so she's free other days.

 

[MrWood]

like a little kid running to mom after she gets home and holds on tight.

this points directly to you, your psyche and your gilf-fetish
Sir, you have serious mommy issues and should take care of that professionally.

but still keeps talking to me.
So what would be the best way to go about this to maintain her interest?

keep talking to her, you hold interest to her as someone to talk to.
You are a friend... friendzone.

nothing more than a male gal-pal.

 

[Focal core]

You just a coffee after a great movies! You dig?

 

[Focal core]

this points directly to you, your psyche and your gilf-fetish
Sir, you have serious mommy issues and should take care of that professionally.

nothing more than a male gal-pal.

Well i have very same thoughts as well for quite sometime now.

 

[biggoal]

You just a coffee after a great movies! You dig?

Yea. Could it maybe be once in a blue moon psvy though?

 

[RickTheToad]

So her and a friend are going to the movies at the mall tonight and I'm going to meet her at the food court at Starbucks after it. No more dinner dates for first dates from OLD lol although I don't consider this a date. More just screening her lol since her girlfriend is with her and at least it won't cost me much.

So, since her friend will be there which means she will be screening me as well and probably telling this chick what she thinks of me.

So how do I keep frame here since her friend will be with her so I don't lose frame or get asked a bunch of questions by her?

I'm buying my own damn drink too lol.

She said I could have joined them for the movie but movies are awkward to get to know someone since you can't talk.

Any tips? I consider this a pre screening not really a date.

@biggoal

 

[Focal core]

Yea. Could it maybe be once in a blue moon psvy though?

Nope just nope, girls needs someone who they can feels to catalyze things into more intimate connection. a man thats appealing is more precise to define attraction.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

frame is she is 49, thats nothing for her to be proud of in terms of dating. Says you are 35 in your profile bro. Really? 49 is barely even slumpbuster territory. Think of it this way, she has been burnt out of the bar scene since 1995.

* just watched the Bills job out again and their last playoff win was 1995. She is the Bills.

 

[biggoal]

frame is she is 49, thats nothing for her to be proud of in terms of dating. Says you are 35 in your profile bro. Really? 49 is barely even slumpbuster territory. Think of it this way, she has been burnt out of the bar scene since 1995.

* just watched the Bills job out again and their last playoff win was 1995. She is the Bills.

She hasn't drank in 8 years. She was an alcoholic and smoked weed and cigarettes daily for years until silvering up and hasn't done it since.