I think my girlfriend is breaking up with me?

[bizzym]

I agree with lamath.. Its all about her has zero empathy about you has to drive back and forth so she could have her face saved, if she truly care she would just tell her parents you couldnt make it, and no parent would take it so seriously about that, its just all about her and no room for you.. This is where you could see how genuinely shes into you, if she does she will reach you out and made out with you.. If she isnt she either find an excuse for just blow you away to make way for another guy from her back burner that she been thinking of.

I remember about being in same situation with you, where my girl suggest me to take an hotel so she could come to be with me later after the occasion. Think wise mate.

This could just another girls game to dismissed their bf and reverse blaming you

And definitely don’t listen to this one either.
There’s a reason they’re in the minority.

 

[Focal core]

And definitely don’t listen to this one either.
There’s a reason they’re in the minority.

Whos in the minority? Are you high?

 

[Focal core]

OP if you want to salvage your relationship don’t listen to this guy.

Clearly youre a salvager,, grunts that collect trash zero accountability to oneself

 

[Speculator E]

Whos in the minority? Are you high?

I think some of you all may not understand that to a woman there are some life events that are emotionally important to them and while us men may not understand the logic behind it we do them out of respect for our lady.

For example:
The wedding day is a big one.
Imagine if the OP had said he doesn't want to go to his own wedding because it was snowing and have to drive away.
Valentines and Christmas are also on this list of life events women values while not as big as the big wedding day it's on their list.

 

[Focal core]

I think some of you all may not understand that to a woman there are some life events that are emotionally important to them and while us men may not understand the logic behind it we do them out of respect for our lady.

For example:
The wedding day is a big one.
Imagine if the OP had said he doesn't want to go to his own wedding because it was snowing and have to drive away.
Valentines and Christmas are also on this list of life events women values while not as big as the big wedding day it's on their list.

Yeah i concurr, however in op case his gf turn her back on him like he doesnt exist, relationship is an emotional commitment, she just shut him off! What else could i say without prejudice? If op cave in he handed her over the control of a relationship.. Thats just simp.

 

[bizzym]

Yeah i concurr, however in op case his gf turn her back on him like he doesnt exist, relationship is an emotional commitment, she just shut him off! What else could i say without prejudice? If op cave in he handed her over the control of a relationship.. Thats just simp.

Serious question...did you comprehend anything in the post? She turned her back on him, she just shut him off? Again, there’s a reason why you’re in the minority here-it’s because you’re wrong.

 

[lamath]

Serious question...did you comprehend anything in the post? She turned her back on him, she just shut him off? Again, there’s a reason why you’re in the minority here-it’s because you’re wrong.

I think that difference of opinion is normal and should be respected.
I am not the most experience guy here for sure but what i know from past experience is that you dont appologized or reach put when you think you did nothing wrong.

Its all about what op think is acceptable and what is not. Op might be all wrong in his perspective of event, or might have downplay or exagerated her reaction.

With his perspective i think its clear that you dont rewards what he consider bad behavior by conceding, reaching out or giving her attention.

What is bad behavior is very subjective so he can only go by his view of things, not other ppl opinions.


I like to think for myself and when i read opinions that dont resonate with my experience i dont mind expressing it.

 

[bizzym]

I think that difference of opinion is normal and should be respected.
I am not the most experience guy here for sure but what i know from past experience is that you dont appologized or reach put when you think you did nothing wrong.

Its all about what op think is acceptable and what is not. Op might be all wrong in his perspective of event, or might have downplay or exagerated her reaction.

With his perspective i think its clear that you dont rewards what he consider bad behavior by conceding, reaching out or giving her attention.

What is bad behavior is very subjective so he can only go by his view of things, not other ppl opinions.

If you read in the OP he said, “I sat her down and told her I needed to tell her something”. He knew the moment he was going to tell her he was wrong. If he didn’t think he was wrong he wouldn’t have made them have this dramatic sit down/conversation. He even goes on to say I knew she’d be upset. You can know you’re wrong and still be selfish and insensitive. OP just didn’t think there would be so much of a blowback, but he knew he was wrong.

but let’s just say on the off chance OP didn’t know he was wrong. Numerous people are telling him his wrong. If he’s not willing to learn so he doesn’t screw up the next relationship, fine, but then don’t come on here to ask us for advice then.

 

[lamath]

If you read in the OP he said, “I sat her down and told her I needed to tell her something”. He knew the moment he was going to tell her he was wrong. If he didn’t think he was wrong he wouldn’t have made them have this dramatic sit down/conversation. He even goes on to say I knew she’d be upset. You can know you’re wrong and still be selfish and insensitive. OP just didn’t think there would be so much of a blowback, but he knew he was wrong.

but let’s just say on the off chance OP didn’t know he was wrong. Numerous people are telling him his wrong. If he’s not willing to learn so he doesn’t screw up the next relationship, fine, but then don’t come on here to ask us for advice then.

I think op **** up big on the talk and did not approach it the right way. He should have had a discution with her before making other plans.


However he should follow his own set of rules on this, in situation like those there is no definitive right or wrong its all subjective.
We were not there we dont know how big the blow out realy was, by chasing her and reaching out he just look weaker.

 

[bizzym]

I think op **** up big on the talk and did not approach it the right way. He should have had a discution with her before making other plans.


However he should follow his own set of rules on this, in situation like those there is no definitive right or wrong its all subjective.
We were not there we dont know how big the blow out realy was, by chasing her and reaching out he just look weaker.

if he she told him to go to NYC, not to follow her, and hasnt talked to him in days that’s a pretty big blowback.

 

[vanballmoos]

She just texted me. Her job is having a big holiday masquerade on Friday and I’m her date. She said she had the masks delivered to my house (she was supposed to get ready here) and to keep an eye out for it so she can come get them.

 

[Focal core]

She just texted me. Her job is having a big holiday masquerade on Friday and I’m her date. She said she had the masks delivered to my house (she was supposed to get ready here) and to keep an eye out for it so she can come get them.

You see here @bizzym , thats why your advised so wussy.. Reciprocal relationship are the best in this whole universe.. Her reaching up to op prove that i was right and youre such a whimp asking a man to be a simp.. Big lesson for you.

And remember @vanballmoos Love is an ever-expanding sense of trust in another, along with admiration and respect for their talents, character, attributes and qualities.

 

[bizzym]

You see here @bizzym , thats why your advised so wussy.. Reciprocal relationship are the best in this whole universe.. Her reaching up to op prove that i was right and youre such a whimp asking a man to be a simp.. Big lesson for you.

And remember @vanballmoos Love is an ever-expanding sense of trust in another, along with admiration and respect for their talents, character, attributes and qualities.

okay so it’s evident you can’t comprehend like I had asked previously. OP said she’s supposed to be getting ready at his place, instead she’s picking them up, implying she’s is no longer getting ready at his house. Which also means OP is no longer going with her to the event. To conclude his (ex) girlfriend is now done with the relationship.

 

[Focal core]

okay so it’s evident you can’t comprehend like I had asked previously. OP said she’s supposed to be getting ready at his place, instead she’s picking them up, implying she’s is no longer getting ready at his house. Which also means OP is no longer going with her to the event. To conclude his (ex) girlfriend is now done with the relationship.

Event doesnt mean sheet in a relationship, you think people that going out together having a blast with thousand of dollars spend would make a connection /bonds within human being stronger? Big No! Christmas can come and go, romantic relationship that continues to grow are meant to lasts.

 

[bizzym]

Event doesnt mean sheet in a relationship, you think people that going out together having a blast with thousand of dollars spend would make a connection /bonds within human being stronger? Big No! Christmas can come and go, romantic relationship that continues to grow are meant to lasts.

I don’t know what you’re going on about but it’s clear the relationship is over. She hasn’t spoken to him days and the first contact is to say she’s collecting her things.

 

[Focal core]

I don’t know what you’re going on about but it’s clear the relationship is over. She hasn’t spoken to him days and the first contact is to say she’s collecting her things.

Oh boy.. Youre so naive my young padawan learner.. If she doesnt care she wouldnt even bother about stupid masks.. She come there to see him. @vanballmoos use this to your advantages, if she wants you its just an excuse to see you. Make things right again both of you. Spurt growth on that intimacy.

 

[bizzym]

Oh boy.. Youre so naive my young padawan learner.. If she doesnt care she wouldnt even bother about stupid masks.. She come there to see him. @vanballmoos use this to your advantages, if she wants you its just an excuse to see you. Make things right again both of you. Spurt growth on that intimacy.

The event is on Friday. She has to get it because it’s a part of her outfit and the event is days away and probably doesn’t have time to get something else. Trust me if it’s a part of her outfit she’s not letting that go. Right now she holds the relationship in her hands if she wanted OP to still be her date she wouldn’t need to come get the masks. She could just casually slide in the holiday party. She’s not. She’s getting her stuff instead.

 

[Focal core]

The event is on Friday. She has to get it because it’s a part of her outfit and the event is days away and probably doesn’t have time to get something else. Trust me if it’s a part of her outfit she’s not letting that go. Right now she holds the relationship in her hands if she wanted OP to still be her date she wouldn’t need to come get the masks. She could just casually slide in the holiday party. She’s not. She’s getting her stuff instead.

Women arent that stupid.. End of..

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, like I said, you disrupted her social web and caused her massive embarrassment with her family.

Women simply are this way. She is acutely aware that her family will know that she pitched her tent with a guy who can't even sacrifice to drive 2 hours to visit her on Christmas. She is hurt and alarmed by your handling of this. I can fully understand her position.

Sometimes it's not about being "alpha", nor about your own convenience. I personally hate these family things, but they are important to women and sometimes you have to make the sacrifice. Isn't it perfectly reasonable for a woman who wants a relationship, to desire for you to be with her on an important day like Christmas?

I've got to travel a lot farther than that this coming Christmas Eve to visit my fiance's family. I really don't want to do it. But it's important to her. She sacrifices and serves me on the regular, so I have no problem sacrificing for her.

Now I get it that you're not engaged. It boils down to a simple question: Do you value the relationship enough where you would like it to continue? Then contact her, indicate that you get how she feels, and make the sacrifice. You don't have to apologize. If you don't value the relationship that much, then leave it. She's going to retain scars from this incident if you try to make it work beyond Christmas.

 

[Focal core]

She just texted me. Her job is having a big holiday masquerade on Friday and I’m her date. She said she had the masks delivered to my house (she was supposed to get ready here) and to keep an eye out for it so she can come get them.

Genuine feelings will just not fade away just like that, just contact her, hear what she say take your and her feelings into account, and trust your gut to act accordingly.