Your opinion on a coworker

[user252009]

Yeah, stop answering.
You don't have to answer to anyone about what you do in your free time. Specially not this one.
If you're not seeing other women(like most of us advised you to), at least act like it.
Every time you respond to her texts at night she knows you're not doing anything better with your time. Get it? And she will perceive you as lower and lower value.
Just try this once, ok?
Next night she texts you, ignore it. Let the message hang there. I guarantee she will ask you about it. If not, do it 2nights in a row.
It will drive you mad and she WILL ask you. You casually say "I was on sort of a date" or something.
Pretty easy, right? Are you able to do this? It's a level 1 quest.

I don't reply at night, but some time next day, and I keep my replies short. I'll ignore it next time. I just know that she's gonna approach me at work and ask what's wrong, and I can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Ugh, women.

 

[dude99]

I don't reply at night, but some time next day, and I keep my replies short. I'll ignore it next time. I just know that she's gonna approach me at work and ask what's wrong, and I can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Ugh, women.

Her " hey how come you dont answer my texts until the next day?"
You " sorry was busy. Didn't want to be rude and interupt my date. how are you making out with (switch to a work related topic only here )

That is how.

 

[andreihaha]

Her " hey how come you dont answer my texts until the next day?"
You " sorry was busy. Didn't want to be rude and interupt my date. how are you making out with (switch to a work related topic only here )

That is how.

Yeah, pretty much something like this.

I don't reply at night, but some time next day, and I keep my replies short. I'll ignore it next time. I just know that she's gonna approach me at work and ask what's wrong, and I can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Ugh, women.

Actually, Ugh, you!
Because YOU can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Right? You said so.
Acting like nothing's wrong(which is true BTW) would be golden in this situation.
And yes you can. You are too nice. Don't you hate that word, "nice"?

 

[user252009]

Yeah, pretty much something like this.

Actually, Ugh, you!
Because YOU can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Right? You said so.
Acting like nothing's wrong(which is true BTW) would be golden in this situation.
And yes you can. You are too nice. Don't you hate that word, "nice"?

It's who I am by nature, I can't suddenly change that and become a person that doesn't care anymore. At least not for a prolonged period of time, as it'll wear me out not being myself.

 

[andreihaha]

It's who I am by nature, I can't suddenly change that and become a person that doesn't care anymore. At least not for a prolonged period of time, as it'll wear me out not being myself.

No, I get that. If it's not you, don't do it.
I just think that if you're not getting the results you want, you either change yourself or life will change you.
That's all.

 

[user252009]

No, I get that. If it's not you, don't do it.
I just think that if you're not getting the results you want, you either change yourself or life will change you.
That's all.

I've been played and strung on in the past and I am working on it to make it stop, but it's not a cut-off kind of a thing, I'm applying it gradually, and I'm starting to see the positive results. This is a good case to "practice" on, as it's very obvious when I take all of my attention away, what happens. The downside is, that there is no escalation to the positive side, and if I escalate too far into the negative, I start to feel really bad and that's the last thing I want, as I obviously want to put myself first.

 

[andreihaha]

I've been played and strung on in the past and I am working on it to make it stop, but it's not a cut-off kind of a thing, I'm applying it gradually, and I'm starting to see the positive results. This is a good case to "practice" on, as it's very obvious when I take all of my attention away, what happens. The downside is, that there is no escalation to the positive side, and if I escalate too far into the negative, I start to feel really bad and that's the last thing I want, as I obviously want to put myself first.

For me and others I see around me, small steps don't do much. You either do a thing, or you don't.
I didn't give up smoking by reducing the quantity gradually, I said "Fk that, it's not good for my health" and I stopped immediately.
Working with half measures doesn't make the cut, man. We all know it. You have to be decisive.
I have a friend who makes small steps. He's always saying stuff like "I wanna focus on work then I'll get women" or "I'll go to the gym to look good and then the women will come to me". He wants women, but he's not going after them. With this attitude, he's been with only one woman for a month or 2 in 5 years. Maybe goes to the gym once a week, got fat, no improvement at the job, no prospects. Life is passing by him and you and me, man. If we're not careful, we might just miss it.
Do as you think man, but know this: there are guys that DO and guys that say "maybe". There is no middle ground.

 

[user252009]

Do as you think man, but know this: there are guys that DO and guys that say "maybe". There is no middle ground.

Well, it's down to priorities I think. I think way too many men focus on making women a big deal in their life, and "bettering themselves" under the pretence they're doing it for themselves, when in fact they're doing it to satisfy women. So I'm starting to divert from that. I have a day job for stability, and a passion that also makes me some side income on the side, which is my real passion. It takes up a big chunk of my spare time. I'm not an outgoing person so I don't actively go out and look for women, as I see no point in that - especially living in a foreign country where I don't speak their native language. Probably the main reason why I've been single for about two years or so now.

 

[user252009]

I’m not going to lie, reading this thread gives me high blood pressure. Might be the most supplicating thread I’ve ever read in my entire life.

Leaning towards thinking OP is a troll. Nobody can be this supplicating.

Not sure what you mean - English isn't my native language. And no, I'm not trolling, just trying to understand the situation and getting tips on how to handle these types of situations better in the future.

 

[andreihaha]

Not sure what you mean - English isn't my native language. And no, I'm not trolling, just trying to understand the situation and getting tips on how to handle these types of situations better in the future.

Then I hope some of the guys that posted here helped you handle these type of situation better in the future. But you know that no matter how many and good the tips are, they mean nothing until you put (some of) them in practice, you know...

We all discovered this site because we were not amazing at all this, and probably all of us still have some/a lot of work to do in order to make our lives better. But if we don't see it as it is(a problem we can fix), we can not improve.
My friend I was telling you about is saying the same things as you did earlier:
"I'm starting to divert from that. I have a day job for stability, and a passion that also makes me some side income on the side, which is my real passion. It takes up a big chunk of my spare time. I'm not an outgoing person so I don't actively go out and look for women, as I see no point in that "
But truth is, for him and probably you too, you want women in your lives just like the other 4 bilion testosterone fueled men in the world. It's normal, we all want that. Otherwise we wouldn't be here.
So accept your nature and do something about it if you want things to change in the future.
If you don't I guess we just talked to help pass time until we eventually die.

Good luck in your future experiences. Except luck doesn't exist, we make it ourselves.

 

[FMCSMT]

This post has cuckhold written all over it.

OP, you can’t ignore her? Fawk is wrong with you?

“It’s not who I am” shut the fck up. Someone else is banging her and you can’t ignore her.

You’re doomed to be a beta orbiter incel if you don’t delete this one. You haven’t even put your dck in her. My gawd I don’t go one date without drilling.

You think you feel bad now, wait until she jumps on Kevin from sales because you didn’t have the balls to ghost her. I hope you catch her in the act and learn this because you are so fckd if you don’t.

 

[FMCSMT]

OP you’re approaching 2 months since the beginning of this post. She has put another man’s dck in her at least 10 events.

At least 10 hours of her moaning and letting another man blow his load in her. Minimum.

And you can’t get her out of your head?

Are you willing to raise Chads offspring too?

Cuckhold man. Ghost her.

 

[user252009]

Admins, please lock this thread (or delete it).

 

[FMCSMT]

Some guys are hopeless. You’re going to pop a blood vessel trying to get through to them.

Sosuave in 2019 has become SoCuck , SoSupplicating, SoAutistic, etc.

This website used to have extraordinary gentlemen posting, now its full of society’s bottom feeders looking for confirmation bias to continue to continue their bottom feeding while ignoring all rational advice.

Honestly I think threads like this one and biggoal’s threads should be locked when the OP shows zero willingness to change. All it does is feed the trolls. They start threads to get attention while getting the same advice over and over again ad nauseam. Page after page, thread after thread of the same ole sticking points.

There’s no quality control.

I have also seen this trend. I rarely come here anymore because of these types of threads.

This site helped me immensely in 2017. Helped some good friends too.

Guys used to post in field, play by play.

Miss those days, I really do.

 

[andreihaha]

Guys used to post in field, play by play.

Miss those days, I really do.

No reason for guys not to post plays here any more.(except a lot don't really get leaid)
I can't do it because of work right now, but in the summer count me in. I miss writing.

Also saw brad80's field reports resurface these days, fun stuff to read.

 

[DJnoob]

So asking her to get together for the third time wouldn't be weak? I see that option as weaker tbh

i think you did right. U asked already twice! asking for 3rd IS weak.

 

[Carson02]

The irony of being strung along for months.

 

[user252009]

Since I've started ignoring her and just replying very shortly to her texts, she's now asking if she said or did something wrong. I'll just say that I've been busy. Let her figure it out on her own.