3 years. Still not over her

[AttackFormation]

I never cared much about what she thought. Probably why she stuck with me for so long.

Haha, right. Why did it end?

I was gonna say if you want to care about her, but you still would like her to respect you, then you could synthesize that. You could say that conducting yourself in a way that makes her respect you is how you care for her, since that's what she wants.

That's just my idea for myself.

 

[user43770]

Haha, right. Why did it end?

I was gonna say if you want to care about her, but you still would like her to respect you, then you could synthesize that. You could say that conducting yourself in a way that makes her respect you is how you care for her, since that's what she wants.

That's just my idea for myself.

I didn't trust her, that's why it ended.

If she needs my help, I'll be there. I don't care if she respects me for it.

 

[user43770]

Haha, right. Why did it end?

I was gonna say if you want to care about her, but you still would like her to respect you, then you could synthesize that. You could say that conducting yourself in a way that makes her respect you is how you care for her, since that's what she wants.

That's just my idea for myself.

I've watched better men than me have their women lose respect for them for no apparent reason. Guys that were good fathers and providers.

Fvck what women think, man.

 

[AttackFormation]

I didn't trust her, that's why it ended.

If she needs my help, I'll be there. I don't care if she respects me for it.

Oh yeah.. now I remember you told me that.

I've watched better men than me have their women lose respect for them for no apparent reason. Guys that were good fathers and providers.

Fvck what women think, man.

Were those women in their prime when they settled with those men, or were the men a contrast to the lifestyle and men the women had earlier?

 

[user43770]

Oh yeah.. now I remember you told me that.



Were those women in their prime when they settled with those men, or were the men a contrast to the lifestyle and men the women had earlier?

The latter. But we mostly settle down later in age now. Don't think it doesn't have an effect. I believe all those people we're fvcking have an effect on us, men and women. It makes us worse for a relationship.

 

[user43770]

@AttackFormation in the manosphere, we like to talk about how promiscuity takes a toll on women. Which it does. But they've never mentioned how it also changes men.

Apparently, we're just born to be cads! I disagree.

I think that being so promiscuous has ruined me for a successful long-term relationship.

I've seen what women are capable of now. How could I ever wife one?

Spend enough time around a snake, it will eventually bite you. Call me a liar!

 

[AttackFormation]

@AttackFormation in the manosphere, we like to talk about how promiscuity takes a toll on women. Which it does. But they've never mentioned how it also changes men.

Apparently, we're just born to be cads! I disagree.

There's a myth in the manosphere that men are promiscuous and polygamous and women are chaste and monogamous. Because this obviously clashes against the reality, especially to anyone who has actually studied biology, the way the narrative handles it is to say that monogamous men are beta/fools/cucks and that promiscuous women are corrupted/damaged. But the narrative is a stupid idea, and a lie. First, it is not true enough even on a general level. Second, "men" and "women" vary too much on an individual basis to define any single sexual strategy for each gender. Some men are more or less inclined to monogamy, and the same for women. This is something that can be observed in other species too. There are both biological and practical reasons why mating strategies differ.

Don't let these uneducated fools and cluster Bs tell you who you are supposed to be. Some of us feel a need to be promiscuous more to keep up in the race than because that's what we are really looking for, especially if you take the validation itself out of the picture.

I think that being so promiscuous has ruined me for a successful long-term relationship.

I've seen what women are capable of now. How could I ever wife one?

Spend enough time around a snake, it will eventually bite you. Call me a liar!

Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.

Me, I don't have an answer to your question of how you could ever wife a woman because I am pondering the same thing. I think the answer is probably two more questions:

1 - Can you tell if a woman really desires and cares about you or is just pretending to?
2 - Are you able to accept change?

If you say yes to both, I assume you would at least be well equipped.

 

[corrector]

If he did it once he can do it again.

That's the problem when you are nearcel. These things are too "one-off".

 

[corrector]

You need to work on yourself and in time, it will get easier.

He is 53 years old and you are giving him this advice?

Also, you need more experience with the ladies so you do not care as much moving forward.

That's a solid catch-22.

I am at that place as well.

You don't sound like a nearcel so not likely.

I do not like to hurt them, but I really no longer bond to them like I've done in the past.

...which means you are not nearcel like the other OP.

I equate that to my mind building up a tolerance for ladies and their bullsh!t. Back to basics dude, back to basics and grow from there.

You don't sound at all like the other OP. You can build up a tolerance because you have enough attraction out there to begin with. If it's too "once in a blue moon" then you are going to bond because you think you are getting a break from inceldom and the out of league lady is doing you a favour.

 

[user43770]

There's a myth in the manosphere that men are promiscuous and polygamous and women are chaste and monogamous. Because this obviously clashes against the reality, especially to anyone who has actually studied biology, the way the narrative handles it is to say that monogamous men are beta/fools/cucks and that promiscuous women are corrupted/damaged. But the narrative is a stupid idea, and a lie. First, it is not true enough even on a general level. Second, "men" and "women" vary too much on an individual basis to define any single sexual strategy for each gender. Some men are more or less inclined to monogamy, and the same for women. This is something that can be observed in other species too. There are both biological and practical reasons why mating strategies differ.

Don't let these uneducated fools and cluster Bs tell you who you are supposed to be. Some of us feel a need to be promiscuous more to keep up in the race than because that's what we are really looking for, especially if you take the validation itself out of the picture.



Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.

Me, I don't have an answer to your question of how you could ever wife a woman because I am pondering the same thing. I think the answer is probably two more questions:

1 - Can you tell if a woman really desires and cares about you or is just pretending to?
2 - Are you able to accept change?

If you say yes to both, I assume you would at least be well equipped.

You're the prince of editing your posts, so I'll give you a minute.

 

[user43770]

He is 53 years old and you are giving him this advice?




That's a solid catch-22.



You don't sound like a nearcel so not likely.



...which means you are not nearcel like the other OP.



You don't sound at all like the other OP. You can build up a tolerance because you have enough attraction out there to begin with. If it's too "once in a blue moon" then you are going to bond because you think you are getting a break from inceldom and the out of league lady is doing you a favour.

Gotta give it to the man, he's smart and can bring a good argument. And he's not even plagiarizing here!

 

[corrector]

My ex-fiance break-up was in November 18, 2012, which is 7 years ago. Memories were stimulated recently from viewing Lion King because it reminded me of taking her to the zoo and African Lion Safari when I saw the Elephants. Also Mamia Mia 1 & 2 reminded me about her as well. Earlier to the time I had it really hard because I introduced her to some of my bike trails and introduced her to biking. So, when I go on some of my bike trails after the break-up, I have to feel the memories first hand up to today since nobody has ever riden with me on those trials since her. (Not every girl is into biking to be fair or, even if they are, into biking on nature trials).

You can't lose the memories, you can't replace her with another woman that you meet in the future, and even if you find another woman, it may not be the same magic soul-mate connection.

 

[user43770]

My ex-fiance break-up was in November 18, 2012, which is 7 years ago. Memories were stimulated recently from viewing Lion King because it reminded me of taking her to the zoo and African Lion Safari when I saw the Elephants. Also Mamia Mia 1 & 2 reminded me about her as well. Earlier to the time I had it really hard because I introduced her to some of my bike trails and introduced her to biking. So, when I go on some of my bike trails after the break-up, I have to feel the memories first hand up to today since nobody has ever riden with me on those trials since her. (Not every girl is into biking to be fair or, even if they are, into biking on nature trials).

You can't lose the memories, you can't replace her with another woman that you meet in the future, and even if you find another woman, it may not be the same magic soul-mate connection.

Sorry for your loss. Do you still have a pair of nuts? I'll give you time to check.

Life goes on. Men have been through much worse than you, so as a movie buff, you should know that. Maybe watch a war flick next time.

 

[AttackFormation]

You're the prince of editing your posts, so I'll give you a minute.

I'm done with it now. Reading, writing, analyzing and synthesizing is what I seem to like to do, that's why.

Give it to me baby.

 

[user43770]

You can't lose the memories, you can't replace her with another woman that you meet in the future, and even if you find another woman, it may not be the same magic soul-mate connection.

I hear ya. Been there, done that. I think we all have, and that's why we're on sosuave.

Women don't view the world the same way we do, and it leads to a lot of heartbreak.

Gotta get over it, though, man. Or else lay down the sword.

 

[user43770]

There's a myth in the manosphere that men are promiscuous and polygamous and women are chaste and monogamous. Because this obviously clashes against the reality, especially to anyone who has actually studied biology, the way the narrative handles it is to say that monogamous men are beta/fools/cucks and that promiscuous women are corrupted/damaged. But the narrative is a stupid idea, and a lie. First, it is not true enough even on a general level. Second, "men" and "women" vary too much on an individual basis to define any single sexual strategy for each gender. Some men are more or less inclined to monogamy, and the same for women. This is something that can be observed in other species too. There are both biological and practical reasons why mating strategies differ.

My experience with promiscuity is much different than one a woman may have had. It was the woman's promiscuity that changed my blue-pill thinking, good sir. I doubt that any woman changed her view of the world after fvcking me. Unless she thanked God for orgasming so much!

Don't let these uneducated fools and cluster Bs tell you who you are supposed to be. Some of us feel a need to be promiscuous more to keep up in the race than because that's what we are really looking for, especially if you take the validation itself out of the picture.



Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.

Well, we can't be so quick to cast blame, as we're guilty ourselves. Maybe hate the baby boomers, but other than that, I figure society is taking its course.

Me, I don't have an answer to your question of how you could ever wife a woman because I am pondering the same thing. I think the answer is probably two more questions:

1 - Can you tell if a woman really desires and cares about you or is just pretending to?
2 - Are you able to accept change?

If you say yes to both, I assume you would at least be well equipped.

My answer, as of now, is you don't wife a woman. Unless you find a unicorn that LA reminds me about from time to time

 

[user43770]

Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.

The problem is, this is the norm now. This is the "average" girl you're meeting on OLD. Or at the bar. Or at church.

If she's married, she fvcking. If she's single, she's fvcking more.

 

[corrector]

Sorry for your loss. Do you still have a pair of nuts? I'll give you time to check.

Technically I initiated the break up with her because I didn't feel comfortable with her past and consulted with her ex-husband behind her back and told her and her mother about it by email and sided with him. Just a mess. But, again, the way she treated him made me feel that I could eventually be next in line if I said something out of place or if something happened down the line when I was more invested. Her ex-husband was a pastor and was praying for her to repent and come back to him, along with his church.

So for what it's worth, at least I feel I was doing God's will, and I mean really, His will, by breaking up with her or I'd be worst off today in some way. However, even if the logical aspect of this has that direction, and is a correct or necessary decision, the memory and emotions and "nearcel" aspect is still overwhelming. It's like if you have an object travelling very fast and you abruptly stop it, then things inside the object will crash around inside. I feel it was that way emotionally with a "doing the right thing" type of break-up with her. She didn't seem to have any problem moving on quickly and burying the whole thing fast. But again, that is what happens when you get an incel break in such circumstances.

Incels are normally accused by normies of being very "moral" people who maintain chastity because they want to do the right thing. I'm not just talking about not commiting adultery with another man's wife, or dumpster-diving, or visiting hookers, but really doing the right thing like in the case I illustrated above. Looking at the principle of the thing. Maybe normies have a point about that.

However, my whole social life was built-up around her as she introduced me around and I knew people (including other hot girls) in common with her. That was all wiped out and I was back to ground zero and it's like the loss of everything at the time. I thinking being nearcel just makes break-ups like that difficult since you don't know how the relationship developed like that in the first place, or if something like that can ever happen again.

Life goes on. Men have been through much worse than you, so as a movie buff, you should know that. Maybe watch a war flick next time.

I don't watch Mamma Mia 1 & 2, or Lion King 2019, that frequently. I look at all types of movies, including war movies.

I think Abba music (the type of music in Mamma Mia 1 & 2) has a light upbeat vibe that often portrays a fun and happy relationship in an innocent way (i.e. no sex is involved, but just nice times going places sort of thing in a sort of happy go lucky way).

 

[AttackFormation]

The problem is, this is the norm now. This is the "average" girl you're meeting on OLD. Or at the bar. Or at church.

Yes. But what can we do? this was always the norm, biology didn't change in the last 100 years. It is just out in the open now. The first thing you can do is to develop the best filtering mechanism you can. The second thing you have will be in the paragraph below.

My answer, as of now, is you don't wife a woman. Unless you find a unicorn that LA reminds me about from time to time

If she's married, she fvcking. If she's single, she's fvcking more.

Well, there is no way to prove a person is faithful. You can't prove that. All you really have after you've filtered someone is the decision and feeling of trust, and coping mechanisms (namely acceptance) for the possibility of change in reality. Yes, there probably won't be a happy ending... but with the right mindset, no matter what happens there can be a happy duration. It's either choosing that alternative, or choosing the other alternative of not wifing anyone up. Neither is a right choice. It's whatever you feel you most can deal with.

You will by definition only see the ones who are not faithful. You cannot observe people "being faithful", and you cannot prove that someone is faithful, but you can observe and prove that someone is and is being unfaithful. This inevitably leads to confirmation bias.

In the end I have no solution, no one does. All there is is the coping mechanism you can make the most peace with, because reality is liable to be imperfect.

 

[user43770]

Yes. But what can we do? this was always the norm, biology didn't change in the last 100 years. It is just out in the open now. The first thing you can do is to develop the best filtering mechanism you can. The second thing you have will be in the paragraph below.



Well, there is no way to prove a person is faithful. You can't prove that. All you really have after you've filtered someone is the decision and feeling of trust, and coping mechanisms (namely acceptance) for the possibility of change in reality. Yes, there probably won't be a happy ending... but with the right mindset, no matter what happens there can be a happy duration. It's either choosing that alternative, or choosing the other alternative of not wifing anyone up. Neither is a right choice. It's whatever you feel you most can deal with.

You will by definition only see the ones who are not faithful. You cannot observe people "being faithful", and you cannot prove that someone is faithful, but you can observe and prove that someone is and is being unfaithful. This inevitably leads to confirmation bias.

In the end I have no solution, no one does. All there is is the coping mechanism you can make the most peace with, because reality is liable to be imperfect.

Way to take what I said and make it way more wordy.