Do you have incel friends? How to motivate them?

[corrector]

My motivation has come from some reddit boards that talk about how it's easy to meet women in church on this link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/69q71l
and as well some tips for goals inside the Gym itself:

https://legionathletics.com/cut-or-bulk/

Since I'm likely 30-40% body-fat (I don't have a beer gut belly but just have a high body fat percentage and limp muscles), then the red-pill thinking would be to reduce the body-fat to 10% and then bulk up to 17% body-fat. Then the next goal after that would be to volunteer as an usher/greeter and join other groups within the church. I'm planning to start this from December 1, 2019 and then hopefully reach the body-fat/bulk goals before the spring of next year. Before starting on December, I plan to watch what I eat so at least not gain any further weight or body-fat. I will be going to the Gym from November 1st, but just for light exercises and to stay generally in cardio health, but will start the heavy lifting a month later.

The temptation with self-improvement is to zone-out completely with women, even ignoring those who are interested in you until the idealized version of yourself is sculpted out. Another temptation is that if in the process of self-improvement you meet someone and lose the motivation to self-improve (i.e. but have no other options beside her, so if it doesn't work out, you are still fat and need more options).

I forgot that a high body-fat percentage like that probably would be crippling in the looks department even if there is no beer gut. I thought a beer gut was just bad and the body-fat didn't matter. I don't like loose ends like that especially if I'm crying incel around here. It puts a hole in my arguments and I don't like holes like that.

 

[Epicwinguy]

I would bet that each of those guys are both trying to meet women through OLD, antisocial media and clubs, and that they don't enjoy any of those mediums. A man who has a social life with many women in it, or who enjoys trying to pick up women in clubs or wherever, won't have these problems. I don't think extroverts are suffering as much from inceldom - just look at this board or elsewhere. Are we talking about men with a big social life who enjoy the process itself of going out to cold approach women?

The guys I know of who have met women either did it through rich, overlapping social spheres where they are in proximity, or they enjoy clubbing in of itself, or they look so good that they can use OLD and antisocial media and women may hit on them day to day too.

I am sure if I had a big social circle my success with women would be much better

 

[corrector]

I don't have any serial killer friends, either, that i know of.

Look at the facts:

Even non-offending INCELs seem to agree that they are defined by their 1) social isolation, 2) feelings of sexual inadequacy, 3) negative feelings towards women -- in general, 4) resentment towards exceptionally attractive women, 5) resentment towards socially/sexually competent men, and 6) feelings of "unjustly" being derived their due.

This is a dangerously volatile c0cktail of negative emotions, a c0cktail coincidentally(?) shared by far too many spree-killers, serial-killers, and mass-murderers.

You sound bitter. Is this the only thing you ever post about? You are no better than me if you are obsessed about this topic. This is because people like you have no life.

 

[sangheilios]

Incel is something that will affect more and more guys in the coming years as social media artificially inflates female ego beyond their true SMV.

I'm seeing guys who are Chad-lite that are becoming incel despite how much effort they put into socializing with women.

In a few years:

* being 6' isnt going to be enough, you have to be at least 6'2" .

* Being Chad wont be enough, you gotta be Super Chad.

* $100k aint enough, you need at least $150k salary.

The dating game aint looking good for regular guys....

I believe the reason why Inceldom is becoming a recurring topic on this board is because a lot of guys are finally waking up to the fact that the skew in SMV between males and females (precipitated by social media like Instagram) is pushing more and more guys into inceldom, guys who in the early 2000's would have no problem in the dating game but now are struggling just to even score a starbucks date.

Even guys who have had relationships in the past are now finding themselves being pushed towards the boundaries inceldom as they are now finding it harder to deal with womens' ever increasing expectations.....

..... I would even say there are a lot of guys on this board that are being forced into inceldom whether or not they have had relationships in the past....

This is completely true, though it took me a very long time to finally understand this, as for a while I genuinely didn't get what my issue was.

I repeat this over and over on here, but I'm 6'4" and currently very athletically built at 235. I've gotten no results at speed dating events where the women ranged from 2 to 6 at best. Approached barely average women and get attitude. I could go on and on and on. Granted, I may not have the best charisma or "game" but when a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit and respectable good guy approaches a woman that should be enough.

What I find interesting is this though. I've had older adults, both women and men, ask me how many women I'm dating and when I tell them I rarely ever get a date they have an extremely confused look on their face. I've had some assume I'm gay, because in their younger years for such a man to be chronically single and dateless would be very odd indeed. I've had older women, like my Mom's age and up, actually express amazement to this and to be completely at a loss as to why this would be the case for me, because again it doesn't make sense in their mind.

I used to actually think there was something wrong with me and it would get to the point where my self confidence was completely ruined. I had stretches where I'd actually develop body image issues, as in questioning if I'm fat, etc. To put this into context, this is coming from a guy my size who can do 20 chinups lol. It wasn't until I started posting on forums like this, reading threads and just paying more attention to other men around me where I realized that I wasn't the only one experiencing the disastrous dating field that is out there.

On a side note, it's almost like this is the universe's means of lowering the overabundant human population on this planet.

 

[cheyne]

I'd say 90% of my remaining single friends are 'incel'. (most of my friends have serious girlfriends or wives so that only leaves a handful of them)

I'm not 100% sure of the definition, but i'm calling it someone who basically never get's laid.
(because some definitions of the word i've heard make everyone except Leo DiCaprio and people who can bang anyone they want, whenever they want 'incel' lol)

I don't consider myself 'incel'. I banged a good handful of girls last year, and i've gotten laid a little this year. But it takes me maybe 300+ approaches to get laid lol (i'm not handsome and thus have to play serious numbers game)

But going back to my incel friends, I have a few.

One in particular sticks out the most in my mind. Accountant. Very clever guy. Not ugly but not handsome. He's tall. I Think he's got laid once (possibly) in the 10 years i've known him. (from memory it was a girl who liked beards and tall guys. He hwas both qualities. She basically pulled him. Not the other way around)

He also really doesn't seem to care much about his situation. He jokes about it from time to time (he's actually very funny at times. Clever people seem to have the ability to be funny). He 'gave up' I think ages ago. I' ve seen him try a fair few times (less and less over the years) but typically, girls just aren't attracted. They can also be rude as hell here in teh UK lol (i've certainly exprience it!!). Probably tipped him over the edge at some point and he decided it's just not worth the effort I guess

One of our mutual friends is a really good looking guy (Ricky) who get's laid non-stop, and if we are out and there's some hot girls who I point out and talk about how we should say hi, he's like ''lol, we don't have a shot mate. Leave them to Ricky'.

 

[thinker]

Has OLD and social media made women more entitled yes, is this the end all be all nope. Looks matter there is no doubt in my mind, but the problem is guys get too caught up in the looks debate or the money debate or the status debate. A recurring problem I see is men focusing on women when they should be focusing on themselves. Don't do things you don't like for women, if you don't like clubs or bars don't go to them. I have never been a club or bar guy as I like to be outdoors and never cared much for the bad attitudes the club crowd normally had. I have always gone to clubs with women or friends and I went their to have fun with them, since I was actually having a good time with them things usually worked out for me. What all men that still want to have any type of relationship with women should do is be their best selves work on their masculine dominance and don't take this all that serious. I'm in my mid 40s under 5'5" and need to lose 20 to 25 Lbs and women are still attracted to me. Focus on what you can control not on what you can't.

 

[corrector]

I'd say 90% of my remaining single friends are 'incel'. (most of my friends have serious girlfriends or wives so that only leaves a handful of them)

I'm not 100% sure of the definition, but i'm calling it someone who basically never get's laid.
(because some definitions of the word i've heard make everyone except Leo DiCaprio and people who can bang anyone they want, whenever they want 'incel' lol)

Someone who never gets laid or never got laid? It sounds like you are talking about a trucel if there is no past.

I don't consider myself 'incel'. I banged a good handful of girls last year, and i've gotten laid a little this year. But it takes me maybe 300+ approaches to get laid lol (i'm not handsome and thus have to play serious numbers game)

If you made 300 approaches to get laid then you sound like a low tier normie or nearcel, which is a tier above a high tier incel. Some people wouldn't bother with 300 approaches and rather shell out $ 300, and those types are called escortcels. Between a low-tier normie and a high-tier incel/escortcel, you are just one above the type that uses escorts. Not everyone would want to sign-up for that much effort through and should not have to.

I was married and divorced in the past so I'm not trucel.

But going back to my incel friends, I have a few.

They really sound like trucels

One in particular sticks out the most in my mind. Accountant. Very clever guy. Not ugly but not handsome. He's tall. I Think he's got laid once (possibly) in the 10 years i've known him. (from memory it was a girl who liked beards and tall guys. He hwas both qualities. She basically pulled him. Not the other way around)

He also really doesn't seem to care much about his situation. He jokes about it from time to time (he's actually very funny at times. Clever people seem to have the ability to be funny). He 'gave up' I think ages ago. I' ve seen him try a fair few times (less and less over the years) but typically, girls just aren't attracted. They can also be rude as hell here in teh UK lol (i've certainly exprience it!!). Probably tipped him over the edge at some point and he decided it's just not worth the effort I guess

One of our mutual friends is a really good looking guy (Ricky) who get's laid non-stop, and if we are out and there's some hot girls who I point out and talk about how we should say hi, he's like ''lol, we don't have a shot mate. Leave them to Ricky'.

Like I said, not everyone wants to do 300 approaches. First of all, not everyone has the time to do that, especially if getting the nerve to make one approach and mental focus involved into it. Is Ricky a Chad/Chad-lite? How do you feel that Ricky just has to show up to get laid, but you have to do 300 approaches, and even if you are successful that same lady that you got the break from may just throw herself to Ricky. How does it feel to do all of that hard work, while Ricky there does not have to do anything? You don't feel bad about that?

Do you think everyone, in your looks category, should HAVE to do 300 approaches to get laid otherwise there is "something wrong with them"? Is that reasonable?

 

[cheyne]

Someone who never gets laid or never got laid? It sounds like you are talking about a trucel if there is no past.



If you made 300 approaches to get laid then you sound like a low tier normie or nearcel, which is a tier above a high tier incel. Some people wouldn't bother with 300 approaches and rather shell out $ 300, and those types are called escortcels. Between a low-tier normie and a high-tier incel/escortcel, you are just one above the type that uses escorts. Not everyone would want to sign-up for that much effort through and should not have to.

I was married and divorced in the past so I'm not trucel.



They really sound like trucels



Like I said, not everyone wants to do 300 approaches. First of all, not everyone has the time to do that, especially if getting the nerve to make one approach and mental focus involved into it. Is Ricky a Chad/Chad-lite? How do you feel that Ricky just has to show up to get laid, but you have to do 300 approaches, and even if you are successful that same lady that you got the break from may just throw herself to Ricky. How does it feel to do all of that hard work, while Ricky there does not have to do anything? You don't feel bad about that?

Do you think everyone, in your looks category, should HAVE to do 300 approaches to get laid otherwise there is "something wrong with them"? Is that reasonable?

I don't know about all the terminology lol. I just think of it as guys who get laid from time to time (or lots), and guys who basically never get laid (the later being incel)
I love all the terms you use, though! cracks me up ('nearcel', 'low-tier normie' etc. haha!!)
What's the difference between an incel and a truecel??

''How do you feel that Ricky just has to show up to get laid, but you have to do 300 approaches, and even if you are successful that same lady that you got the break from may just throw herself to Ricky. How does it feel to do all of that hard work, while Ricky there does not have to do anything? You don't feel bad about that?''

I don't care a great deal, tbh. It's just life. Some people are born into super rich families and some are born into poverty.
I think it bothered me when I was young (i've known him for a long time) but I don't really think about it much anymore. Numb too it, maybe lol.

 

[corrector]

I don't know about all the terminology lol. I just think of it as guys who get laid from time to time (or lots), and guys who basically never get laid (the later being incel)
I love all the terms you use, though! cracks me up ('nearcel', 'low-tier normie' etc. haha!!)
What's the difference between an incel and a truecel??

A truecel is guy who is still a virgin and never got laid, or even a make-out session, or even a french kiss from a lady and never used an escort either or got rejected by escorts or can't afford them. It's more absolute and would be the purist definition of a true incel.

Incel carries a variety of terms under a large umbrella. Even guys who get laid from time to time, if it's not frequent enough, then they are going to be a low-tier normie, or nearcel. It's just a tier above an incel.

However, I don't know how I look in comparison with you and don't know how many approaches I have to make in order to have a Las Vegas wedding and get laid afterwards (staying true to my convictions of no sex unless married) so that would definite blur the line for me of how I would even self-identify myself in these abstract terms.

You see, on one hand, because you are setting a bar, we can assume if someone is not willing to do 300 approaches then they are not really incel because they are making a choice not to do 300 approaches. I'm not willing to do 300 approaches. I would rather exercise my faith and reach people for Jesus then to look for a girlfriend because I'd see this spiritually as a waste of time and selfish to spend that much time and energy and none of that's going to the Lord. I would like to see how many people would be saved or receive Jesus with 300 approaches rather than how many girls I can get laid with. Or maybe find a Real-Estate client? After all, I'm self-employed and need business connections. If I approach 300 people, maybe I'll make a $ 20,000 commission cheque by meeting the right person?

You see from my standpoint, getting laid is the last thing I would want if I could make $ 20,000 on a potential commission cheque, or see my faith grow to a point that I'm confident witnessing to others about the Lord. So, yeah, I am not that desperate to get laid as I am to make money or to please Jesus (which getting laid would be contradictory to that unless you are married).

Lets be frank, if a hot girl gave me business and I made $ 20,000 off of it, I'd rather that then getting laid with a hot girl right now.

''How do you feel that Ricky just has to show up to get laid, but you have to do 300 approaches, and even if you are successful that same lady that you got the break from may just throw herself to Ricky. How does it feel to do all of that hard work, while Ricky there does not have to do anything? You don't feel bad about that?''

I don't care a great deal, tbh. It's just life. Some people are born into super rich families and some are born into poverty.
I think it bothered me when I was young (i've known him for a long time) but I don't really think about it much anymore. Numb too it, maybe lol.

Numb to this. So the reward of getting laid, or that success is so positive that you don't care. Do you just get laid, or do you get short term relationships at least out of it? Are these women hb7+ or are we talking about anyone?

 

[cheyne]

The guy in question - i've 100% seen him make out with girls, and pretty sure he took a girl home once. Not in about 7 years, though

Terms: Yeah, too complicated for me. Like there's a million 'genders' now too. People identify as a plant and sh1t
I just still think of it as male or female.
So I don't worry about whether i'm a low-tier normie or a semi-incel or an ork

I'm not remotely religious so can't comment on that other stuff

I mean 'numb' to the feeling of jealousy that maybe I used to have when I was young? LIke, you asked how it makes me feel that he gets laid whenever he wants, and the answer is that I kind of don't feel anything anymore. I don't really know why.

''Do you just get laid, or do you get short term relationships at least out of it? Are these women hb7+ or are we talking about anyone? ''

I don't actually want a relationship, so they tend to be just one night stands which is what I desire. (a few girls have hinted at wanting 'more' though)
Some of them have been hot (my idea of 8). Some have been just 'bangable'.

 

[Epicwinguy]

As a damn incel myself, the idea of making myself more miserable to maybe get a bangable girl isn't exactly motivating.

 

[Epicwinguy]

As far as incel violence, the only time I ever thought about hurting someone was people that directly made me (more) miserable, not a general group of people such as "all women." Usually ideas of taking a baseball bat to their face or something, not shooting up places. The violent ones are probaby mentally sick. Just wanted to touch on that as I seen it mentioned a couple times here.

 

[sangheilios]

Sum up for this thread;

Women have insanely unrealistic expectations and won't settle for anything. If a man has even the slightest flaw he is out, this could be something as minor as how he holds his drink or other such nonsense. Many men are becoming aware of this, getting little to no success and simply not bothering, as at the end of the day nothing comes of it. Most men aren't going to have the time, energy or desire to approach hundreds of women......only to maybe get sex once out of all that. This is becoming ridiculous and how anyone can not see this as an issue I have no idea, something is deeply wrong with women today.

I shouldn't be on here posting about this, nor should the majority of otherwise good men out there be going without.

 

[lamath]

This is completely true, though it took me a very long time to finally understand this, as for a while I genuinely didn't get what my issue was.

I repeat this over and over on here, but I'm 6'4" and currently very athletically built at 235. I've gotten no results at speed dating events where the women ranged from 2 to 6 at best. Approached barely average women and get attitude. I could go on and on and on. Granted, I may not have the best charisma or "game" but when a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit and respectable good guy approaches a woman that should be enough.

What I find interesting is this though. I've had older adults, both women and men, ask me how many women I'm dating and when I tell them I rarely ever get a date they have an extremely confused look on their face. I've had some assume I'm gay, because in their younger years for such a man to be chronically single and dateless would be very odd indeed. I've had older women, like my Mom's age and up, actually express amazement to this and to be completely at a loss as to why this would be the case for me, because again it doesn't make sense in their mind.

I used to actually think there was something wrong with me and it would get to the point where my self confidence was completely ruined. I had stretches where I'd actually develop body image issues, as in questioning if I'm fat, etc. To put this into context, this is coming from a guy my size who can do 20 chinups lol. It wasn't until I started posting on forums like this, reading threads and just paying more attention to other men around me where I realized that I wasn't the only one experiencing the disastrous dating field that is out there.

On a side note, it's almost like this is the universe's means of lowering the overabundant human population on this planet.

How old are you, might just be an age thing

I believe the reason why Inceldom is becoming a recurring topic on this board is because a lot of guys are finally waking up to the fact that the skew in SMV between males and females (precipitated by social media like Instagram) is pushing more and more guys into inceldom, guys who in the early 2000's would have no problem in the dating game but now are struggling just to even score a starbucks date.

Even guys who have had relationships in the past are now finding themselves being pushed towards the boundaries inceldom as they are now finding it harder to deal with womens' ever increasing expectations.....

..... I would even say there are a lot of guys on this board that are being forced into inceldom whether or not they have had relationships in the past....

Funny thing i just dont see that where i live.
Might be because its a low population area on the east coast of Canada.
I seriously think that old **** up the data.
I think that most ppl here dont do enough social game.

Been single for about a year now and only started dating got 2 str of 2-3 months and one ons, and im seriously really bad at approaching women.

 

[sangheilios]

How old are you, might just be an age thing

I'm 29, but I've had a hell of a time getting a date my entire life.

 

[lamath]

I'm 29, but I've had a hell of a time getting a date my entire life.

Things should have been better by now,
I was the same when younger until i hit 25-26, your social game.might be lacking.
But height is indeed a big advantage,im better looking than my 6.3 brother but it was always easier for him

Might also be the place you live, i do think that in big city it might be harder because with OLDyou got infinite choice

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I like the terms. I think my friends are ‘mental-cels’.

 

[sangheilios]

Things should have been better by now,
I was the same when younger until i hit 25-26, your social game.might be lacking.
But height is indeed a big advantage,im better looking than my 6.3 brother but it was always easier for him

Might also be the place you live, i do think that in big city it might be harder because with OLDyou got infinite choice

I've posted about this a few times on here, but I do feel that where I currently live is a major part of the issue.

Where I currently live is very have or have not, meaning there is a fairly substantial population of very poor and uneducated people. I grew up well off, so there is a very large degree of incompatibility there. Also, the people where I am at seem to settle down fairly young, I'm talking early to mid 20s. Beyond that there are a ton of single mothers and really not much else left.

I have met single women in my area but they are really weird, at first I just thought it was bad luck but I've picked up on some trends in how they all behave fairly similarly. Lots of women here seem to lead on tons of men at a given time, as in actually asking them out and going out with them. The one vibe that I get is that they are shopping around, but another part of me feels that they do this due to personal issues that they have. Many of the women out here grew up in fatherless homes, so it's almost like they desperately seek the attention of men to fill in this void from their childhood.

I'm planning on moving next year to a much bigger area, which also is more affluent, so I'm thinking I'll do better there.

 

[AttackFormation]

Gaslighting much?

I've never seen so much blatant gaslighting before in my life as from his posts to you, it's bizarre and seems fishy.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think Coach Red Pill did a good recent video on incels. He talks about the “deregulated sexual marketplace” and the challenges incels face.

I don’t have any incel friends. But if I did, I would just provide the following tips to them:

1. Looks-max where reasonably can. Accept the rest and own it.

2. If you aren’t going to quit and go full MGTOW, you simply must accept the extremely slim odds as a fact of life. Even if it’s 500 to 1, it’s not personal. It is what it is.

3. The upside is that your successes will be extremely rewarding after facing such slim odds.

TLDR: Quit or go for the Prryhic victory. Your choice*.

*I used to think than an incel or nearcel could just passively “dabble” at the game. Just put in small efforts here and there (and see what happens) and not invest/waste too much time on women. But I don’t think that works for those guys. I think it’s ballz to the wall or give up.