Evening folks looking for feedback regarding alcohol, I'm 32 and have been socially drinking since I was 18, I'm thinking about giving it up all together, the main reasons are better health and no 2 day hangovers. My main concern is I have met most of my girlfriends and acquaintances through alcohol and social interactions. Has anyone done this? And if so how did they meet girls after they gave it up. Regards Andy
Thinking about giving alcohol up all together
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Thatfeel21
Senior Don Juan
I'm in the same boat. Amazing how hangovers are so crippling once you hit your 30s.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Yes. Many folks have used it as a centerpiece of social interactions. So when you remove it it changes things. Ive tried holding something other than alcohol. 7up, coke, cranberry juice stuff they cant tell the difference but its not the same. Just throwing some thoughts out there.
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Yeah been going to the gym for the last 2 years consistently which has helped my self confidence a lot, thinking that if I meet girls out with the club scene then the standard of girls should be better?
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Here are the regular things that correlate with wasting away:
- Smoking
- Drinking
- Unprotected sun exposure
- Inadequate exercise
- Sitting all day long, even if you exercise
- Doing no activity that cultivates your attention span and neuroplasticity
- Inadequate diet
(- Never doing dermatological treatments for your face or making sure to keep your hair)
Fix drinking and you're one down, and really none of these things are particularly hard to get right. I personally don't drink either and haven't done so for many years now. When you don't drink, you have to and will grow as a person socially because you don't have the crutch of alcohol anymore. "Fvck it" will become your normal mindset, rather than one you have to poison yourself to hope to reach. Many people can hardly socialize or have sex without alcohol, but don't let that fool you into thinking you have to be like them.
- Smoking
- Drinking
- Unprotected sun exposure
- Inadequate exercise
- Sitting all day long, even if you exercise
- Doing no activity that cultivates your attention span and neuroplasticity
- Inadequate diet
(- Never doing dermatological treatments for your face or making sure to keep your hair)
Fix drinking and you're one down, and really none of these things are particularly hard to get right. I personally don't drink either and haven't done so for many years now. When you don't drink, you have to and will grow as a person socially because you don't have the crutch of alcohol anymore. "Fvck it" will become your normal mindset, rather than one you have to poison yourself to hope to reach. Many people can hardly socialize or have sex without alcohol, but don't let that fool you into thinking you have to be like them.
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zekko
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I know a lot of PUA gurus advocated going to clubs without drinking. But really, if you're going to quit drinking, why would you want to continue to hang around that scene? If you're serious about avoiding alcohol, better to hang with the type of girls who don't care to drink themselves. They're out there.
logicallefty
Moderator
Maybe this only happens with me but when I drink Diet Coke from the fountain or bar gun, and I drink like 5-6 of them, I actually start to get a buzz. Makes it nice if I want to go out and feel "semi" like I am drinking, but I'm not drunk and have no hangover or any side effects. Only works with Diet Coke though. Sometimes Diet Dr. Pepper but Diet Coke is by far the best.
Im an addict, ive done my 12 steps, the first thing you need to get out the mindset of "forever" and get in the mindset of "Just for today"...your brain will label it less important this way...........I tell women drink doesn't interest me, and i cut the convo there
anyway im here to tell you your pissing up the wrong tree, your value of women will go up a notch, ....high value women are attracted to none drinkers, however i have lost a lot of "low value" ones this way aswell...good riddance
what im saying is your worrying is counter intuitive , meet them at starbucks at 2pm in an afternoon, and turn on the charm, you will be shhit testing them by bringing them out their natural drinking environment
anyway im here to tell you your pissing up the wrong tree, your value of women will go up a notch, ....high value women are attracted to none drinkers, however i have lost a lot of "low value" ones this way aswell...good riddance
what im saying is your worrying is counter intuitive , meet them at starbucks at 2pm in an afternoon, and turn on the charm, you will be shhit testing them by bringing them out their natural drinking environment
it is to you who could chauffeur the president round, haha get me?
DariusTheBartender
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First good for you to take the first step.
But second I strongly agree... 80 percent of the women I've been with I either met at a bar or our dates that led to sex involved alcohol.
But hey that's still 20 percent that didn't involve it at all. You'll have to reinvent yourself and your game. And just be open with them that you don't drink.
As you can tell from my SN I was in that world a long time. And if you are worried about true alcoholism I can tell you it's much worse than you can imagine. You're gonna do fine brother. Congrats
But second I strongly agree... 80 percent of the women I've been with I either met at a bar or our dates that led to sex involved alcohol.
But hey that's still 20 percent that didn't involve it at all. You'll have to reinvent yourself and your game. And just be open with them that you don't drink.
As you can tell from my SN I was in that world a long time. And if you are worried about true alcoholism I can tell you it's much worse than you can imagine. You're gonna do fine brother. Congrats
How much are you drinking where you are getting two day hangovers? Moderation is your friend here. Do you lack self control? If that’s the case then maybe it’s what you need. The bigger question is why do you need to consume large amounts.
I personally could never cut out alcohol. I am a social drinker (1-2) on the weekends. I enjoy wine with steak, beer with my wings and an occasional scotch while smoking a cigar.
I agree with stormrider, surround yourself with women who don’t drink ie fitness junkies. Just don’t become a bore and start to preach that alcohol is the devil and everyone around you should stop drinking it as well. Nobody likes that guy. Most of the women I have met who didn’t drink we’re boring, uptight and preached about how great they feel and I should do it too. Good Luck.
I don't drink or smoke or do drugs for that matter. Growing up I played sports and didn't think any of that was in my best interest. I also noticed that a lot of the guys doing all this were using these things as a social crutch so that didn't appeal to me. I think giving up drinking is a great idea. You might have a short period of social adjustment while you get calibrated with your new reality, but once that is over you should have no problems. I've never had any problems when women find out that I don't drink, in fact it has been the exact opposite, they get these huge smiles and are actually more into me. I think their interest levels go up because this sub communicates that I am a naturally fun and social man and that is socially dominant.
2 years no drinking.. still wating for the side-effect's
Not a big deal, just a choice
If a woman don't want you because you don't drink, what does this tell you about her?
Sure it makes them a little unsecure, because the social norm of drinking and let go of your inhibitions
Overall I don't miss it..
And you can drive home from party
I helped a woman home last weekend, she was too drunk.. and wanted 6 sooo badly, but I said no thanks. So she took of all her clothes and sad down on me in the chair, but no no
She got home safe, I got a free str!ptease..
I was happy.. she could fvck herself lol
But you got to be firm, no alcohol - repeat as many times as they ask
Good luck
Not a big deal, just a choice
If a woman don't want you because you don't drink, what does this tell you about her?
Sure it makes them a little unsecure, because the social norm of drinking and let go of your inhibitions
Overall I don't miss it..
And you can drive home from party
I helped a woman home last weekend, she was too drunk.. and wanted 6 sooo badly, but I said no thanks. So she took of all her clothes and sad down on me in the chair, but no no
She got home safe, I got a free str!ptease..
I was happy.. she could fvck herself lol
But you got to be firm, no alcohol - repeat as many times as they ask
Good luck
zekko
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Depends on the person. I've always known I didn't have the alcoholic gene. It just never had a hold over me. There were other things that did, but alcohol wasn't one of them. Mind you, when I was of a certain age I would go out and get completely trashed three times a week. But even so, somehow I knew it didn't have a hold on me. I practically never drink now, I'm just not interested.
I'm not trying to brag here, I'm just saying that if a person has the alcoholic gene then it can be really tough for them.
Have you tried drinking but not getting drunk? Most people are able to successfully have a few drinks, maybe even get a nice buzz, and still feel fine the next day. Giving it up entirely is completely OK, of course, but it doesn't have to be an either/or where you either get **** faced or don't drink at all.
sangheilios
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I don't drink alcohol at all, though I've had it a handful of times in my life since I was 21. Many people do in fact have to rely upon it during their social outings, after all it is referred to as "liquid courage" and "social lubricant".
With that aside, there still is a means to drink socially without having hangovers, getting drunk, etc. If you do go out and not drink it really isn't that odd, though as another person said if you were looking to abstain from it this may not be the best means of doing so, as you'd be around it rather heavily there. I personally feel that alcohol as a means to fit in socially is a bigger deal in your younger years (high school and college), especially when you consider the social scene is highly revolved around partying. Once you get older and have other priorities going on in your life the need and desire to fit in really shouldn't be at the top of your list.
With that aside, there still is a means to drink socially without having hangovers, getting drunk, etc. If you do go out and not drink it really isn't that odd, though as another person said if you were looking to abstain from it this may not be the best means of doing so, as you'd be around it rather heavily there. I personally feel that alcohol as a means to fit in socially is a bigger deal in your younger years (high school and college), especially when you consider the social scene is highly revolved around partying. Once you get older and have other priorities going on in your life the need and desire to fit in really shouldn't be at the top of your list.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
In the fitness and church scenes people are being chosen and some sex is happening.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
Likely if you are not in the clubs and don't get those girls you will just naturally start talking to other ones after a few weeks or a month.. And in case it doesn't work out, it is really easy to start drinking again...