Why are women not responding back despite looking at my profile?

[Stephen89]

For years and years I've asked people, men with success and women how to write a first message on online dating.

As you know you can write anything.

Twice now on online dating websites many women looked at my profile and decided not to reply to my first message. It's very frustrating.

Nothing wrong with my photos.

This is what I've put on my profile, on the about me, describe me section on both of these online websites:

My family and friends would describe me as warm, ambitious, x y a individual.

My interests and hobbies include going to the cinema x y z.

If you would like to get to know me feel free to message me.

What is wrong here?

 

[AttackFormation]

OLD is really harsh for most men, you are not alone. However, your looks and/or photos are most definitely the problem despite you not wanting to believe it. Those two things are what matters the absolute most on online dating, even more than how looks are already crucial in real life. After that at second place, comes your formal education and income. What you actually say/write has an utterly minuscule effect compared to those things.

You probably have average looks with average pictures despite what you believe. Even being above average is not enough. You need to be exceptional.

The proof is in the results you (don't) get.

 

[Stephen89]

Thanks for the reply.

Then why do they look at my profile? These are attractive women.

Yes you could be right.

I always thought it was my profile page that was the problem.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thanks for the reply.

Then why do they look at my profile? These are attractive women.

Yes you could be right.

I always thought it was my profile page that was the problem.

The "personality" you show through text has virtually zero effect on your attractiveness. Looks is number one, then photos, and after that comes formal education and income. That's all it is in the vast majority of cases according to empiric studies. Those things are your "personality", and though you may find that sounds funny and so do I, I mean that literally - the more attracted they are to you from those things, like your looks, the better your "personality" will be rated to be. This is the halo effect.

They look after reading your message and then don't reply, because the message didn't matter in the first place. They are checking out your LMS which is what decides the reply, not your message or what you wrote on your profile.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Plenty of people will look but never buy.

If you're selling anything and expecting anything above single digit conversions, you are going to be VERY disappointed.

Imagine if you were selling cars and you got upset at every dude who came in and looked but didn't buy.

You sound like a little kid giving up because the first couple doors you knocked on didn't buy any cookies.

 

[backseatjuan]

For years and years I've asked people, men with success and women how to write a first message on online dating.

It matters not how and what you write. She will respond if she finds you attractive. Though, write something beyond just hi and bellow stuff that will validate her. I write "you seem interesting. Hi*wave*"

Twice now on online dating websites many women looked at my profile and decided not to reply to my first message. It's very frustrating.

Something turns them off. 99% of the time it's your pic.

My family and friends would describe me as warm, ambitious, x y a individual.
My interests and hobbies include going to the cinema x y z.
If you would like to get to know me feel free to message me.

Fcking boyfriend material. I would also bet my money that your pics are boyfriendish. Nice guyish.. Combine that with the sht that you write. Fck!
Try something like this - I'm looking to find best one out there.


Not every chick will reply to you. Out of 10, you will get maybe 1 reply, often 0, sometimes 2. Out of those 75% will drop due to low interest in conversation.

Your online game, don't tell me not to do it, should be like this.

1. High value male profile with good pics and tasty description.
2. Low interest game on your part.
3. You log in online once per day, sometimes once every two days, take weekends and holidays off.
4. Each time you log in you message 10 different women, and answer all your messages.
5. Each of your answers is short, and one message only, no back to back messages.
6. You follow textgame 101 video on youtube, you go from Silence, into Platonic, into Flirting, passing sht tests.
7. Once flirting starts, ask her phone #
8. Call, talk 20 minutes, setup date at a bar near you.
9. Ghost all none drinkers and girls that give no phone #.
10. Be late 15 minutes to your date, wait no more than 5 minutes, no calls to confirm or find out where she's at.
11. 2nd date cooking at your place.

 

[Atom Smasher]

As I see it, the main problem men have with OLD is that they write profiles to attract as many women as they can. They are generalists and therefore come across as plain vanilla.

Some of you may be surprised to learn that I found my fiancé through OLD. Many of you know that she is one of the upper 2%.... Stable, even-keeled and gorgeous. Zero drama and zero tests.

I didn’t write my profile to attract lots of women. I wrote a profile specifically to attract one woman. If you’re a relationship guy as I am, you should write your profile to eliminate (ie scare away) the ones who don’t qualify, and to attract ONLY the kind of girl you really want.

Generalists are not valued. Specialists are valued highly. Present yourself as a discerning, discriminating man who will only have the best of women in his life, and higher quality women will pick up on this and feel compelled to get to know you.

Write your profile to attract ONE woman, not many.

This may not work for guys who are just looking to sleep around, but for guys who are looking for a relationship, this method auto-rejects the time-wasters. Oddly enough you will still be approached by fat and non-attractive ones who are just throwing a Hail Mary pass, but aside from that you will see much more attractive and stable women responding.

Generalists appear as bland and unexciting. You’d be surprised how a well-written profile can cover for mediocre looks.

What so many of you men don’t realize, even some of the top posters here, is that women are seduced primarily by words, not by looks. Attractive words alter her visual perception of you. Women are malleable, and words are the means by which you can affect their perception of you, even physically.

Write to to one girl you want, not to many.

 

[Suave88]

Don't say your family, friends, and pet will describe you as the Ohio Potato thief. Instead, offer a description for each of the pictures you post. What you are doing there or where doing at the moment the pic was taken. Don't follow formats when describing you. Talk about some adventure,when you went fishing, hunting, overseas, your road trip, offroad, and graduation day. If you were in the military post a picture of you in uniform in the field and offer a description of your rank, unit, role, and location. Describe in words what you display in your pictures. This may help you to start a conversation about one of the topics in one of your pictures. Don't believe all women are after your wallet. That is a stereotype.

 

[Young OG]

For years and years I've asked people, men with success and women how to write a first message on online dating.

As you know you can write anything.

Twice now on online dating websites many women looked at my profile and decided not to reply to my first message. It's very frustrating.

Nothing wrong with my photos.

This is what I've put on my profile, on the about me, describe me section on both of these online websites:

My family and friends would describe me as warm, ambitious, x y a individual.

My interests and hobbies include going to the cinema x y z.

If you would like to get to know me feel free to message me.

What is wrong here?

What do you say in your opening message? I usually ask them a funny open ended question. Nothing serious.

Your pics probably aren't good. Test them out on photofeeler.com. I would also recommend using professional pictures.

Your profile description sucks. You dont need much. I usually just put a quote from a movie.

 

[biggoal]

It matters not how and what you write. She will respond if she finds you attractive. Though, write something beyond just hi and bellow stuff that will validate her. I write "you seem interesting. Hi*wave*"


Something turns them off. 99% of the time it's your pic.


Fcking boyfriend material. I would also bet my money that your pics are boyfriendish. Nice guyish.. Combine that with the sht that you write. Fck!
Try something like this - I'm looking to find best one out there.


Not every chick will reply to you. Out of 10, you will get maybe 1 reply, often 0, sometimes 2. Out of those 75% will drop due to low interest in conversation.

Your online game, don't tell me not to do it, should be like this.

1. High value male profile with good pics and tasty description.
2. Low interest game on your part.
3. You log in online once per day, sometimes once every two days, take weekends and holidays off.
4. Each time you log in you message 10 different women, and answer all your messages.
5. Each of your answers is short, and one message only, no back to back messages.
6. You follow textgame 101 video on youtube, you go from Silence, into Platonic, into Flirting, passing sht tests.
7. Once flirting starts, ask her phone #
8. Call, talk 20 minutes, setup date at a bar near you.
9. Ghost all none drinkers and girls that give no phone #.
10. Be late 15 minutes to your date, wait no more than 5 minutes, no calls to confirm or find out where she's at.
11. 2nd date cooking at your place.

I think your main profile pic is key. It gives off initial impression for them to even click on it in the first place after reading your message. Like for me I use the one on here lol. I have a clear pic of my face smiling and I used my new note 10 plus which has beautiful mode which will hide those fine lines and acne scars as well. Women us that stuff too. I changed my profile pic and bam more looked at my profile multiple times and reply rate went up.

However what you write matters too. I own a small business and change it to business owner from self employed and described myself as making comfortable living and sound like I got money. That really gains interest too when I did that women seemed to show interest in it but were sounding like digging for gold. The women in this region are gold diggers on old. Just by reading their profiles and replies it's always focused on finances.

Also what is your region? My 60 mile radius has a fairly large population but is the oldest average age in fl so less young people. I can go on match daily and see the same broads for months every day on there. Maybe 25 or so hot ones are even on that site and then other apps. But then up in Bradenton a Tampa its loaded up.

Around here women tell me its like 10 guys to 1 in old. They get bombarded by all ages due to lack of women on those sites and men far outnumber them. Also a number of old profiles are fake as well or are not paid members who can't see messages.

Puas say the reply rate for guys with strong profiles is about 5 percent. I would say right now with messages that are marked read that my reply rate on match is probably around 13 percent and I only message ones hb7 and above. However many of them are flakey and dont hear from them after a few messages. My problem is in message girls who are 50 miles away because none around here really.

Also getting a number as soon as possible is very important before they move onto someone else. After 4 replies max I go for the number. I'd say 70 percent of the time they give it out.

Girls are just odd. Like I posted about an hb9 who would constantly look at my profile but never message me or reply. She would look multiple times until I caught her online doing it one day and sent a flirty reply back about it and she admitted to constantly looking at me. She seemed really shy but after that would still check me out so there was something she liked about me to look at me constantly. Maybe she was waiting for me to say the right line I dunno.

 

[Glassguy]

OLD chicks are looking for dic.

I dont care if their profile says they are looking for the love of their life and want to get married. They are looking for someone to take them to poundtown.

Sex= all about attraction.

If they are viewing your profile and not messaging you back (assuming you have messaged them some opener), they are not physically attracted to you. So get to working on yourself.

You can look like a male model and write "I am half retarded and I struggle with putting sentences together" and they will blow your inbox up.

You can literally have the exact same interests as them and if they dont find you "fvckable", you will never hear from them.

Thats the way OLD works. And why 10% of men are slaying it and the other 90% are starting posts about how tough OLD is on sites like this.

 

[biggoal]

Logistics plays a big part in OLD. Metro areas can easily be seen to have much more attractive women.
Agree with the message of your post but if a guy cant follow up in person what she seen in your profile then its game over.
The women such as your girl will walk at the sight of it. Id say with or without presenting the right hook online its a 2% odds.
Getting out is much better for growth for men with little game. They will grow from it.
As Rollo put it. Its an avoidance mechanism for most.

I've said it before it's location. I live in SWFL, oldest area of my state. My entire county literally has NO ONE under 45 on OLD despite 250k people. Once in awhile I'll see a cute one, maybe even exchange a message or two and then they just disappear and never log on or the account is deleted on match after 10 minutes (fake) or it's a fugly land whale. Even the counties to my north and south which are larger have a pretty small selection of women on there. Within a 60 mile search radius I'll see maybe 25 or so HB7 or above women who use the site regularly despite a population of about 1.6 million people. Everyday literally the same women day after day. Most are over 30 also. Nearly all of them are divorced, damaged goods and many have kids and because it's like 10-1 men around here their profiles have a lot of qualifiers, especially when it comes to having a career and "financially secure." Women dig for gold around here with all the older men.

Once you get up to Bradenton which is closer to tampa there is much much more HB women to choose from and less picky on their profiles and younger as well. Tampa has many times more women of all age and less qualifiers. The median age for Hillsbourough County is 37 years old. My county as well as Sarasota County is 55 years of age and Lee County 50! That right there tells you something why selection is far lower and competition is intense.

I think for my age I picked the wrong place to live.

 

[Hal9000]

I've looked at a ton of women's profiles. Didn't mean I wanted to have a conversation with them.

 

[biggoal]

I've looked at a ton of women's profiles. Didn't mean I wanted to have a conversation with them.

True. Also, I only click on hot chicks of course. Women get TONS of profile views. Women don't have to do jack on OLD because they can simply just sit back and let messages pour on in. They don't have to craft message after message out just to get a single bite like me do. Luckily around here within 60 miles hardly any decent women on OLD so it's not a lot of work to check each day because most who show up in the search results I've already seen before.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

One of the first things you learn in sales is VOLUME. Work volume.

I'd rather chain gun cold approach irl over OLD full of single moms, cratered smv, and low hanging fruit post wall.

 

[corrector]

Videos of women who got catfished. Look how ugly and fat most of them are and they think they are meeting Chads.

 

[sangheilios]

Stay away from online dating sites, apps, etc.

1. There are are a ton of fake profiles on there, granted these are fairly easy to weed out but still.
2. Most of the women look far worse in real life than they do in the photos that you are seeing.
3. Even for attractive men, OLD nets them very little, so naturally this is going to be a waste of time.

For example, I'm 6'4", in really good shape, attractive and college educated and when I tried tinder and various dating sites I hardly ever got responses back from my messages and rarely got any matches. Now, in the real world a man like me is easily in the top 20% of men, so I shouldn't at all be having a difficult time with dating. Try to meet women in the real world, I know this is far easier said than done but OLD just doesn't work. Avoid environments or settings where the market is outlandishly in favor towards women (dating sites/apps, bars/clubs, speed dating, etc.) and opt for those that are more balanced. If I struggle with this the vast majority of men will as well.

 

[biggoal]

Stay away from online dating sites, apps, etc.

1. There are are a ton of fake profiles on there, granted these are fairly easy to weed out but still.
2. Most of the women look far worse in real life than they do in the photos that you are seeing.
3. Even for attractive men, OLD nets them very little, so naturally this is going to be a waste of time.

For example, I'm 6'4", in really good shape, attractive and college educated and when I tried tinder and various dating sites I hardly ever got responses back from my messages and rarely got any matches. Now, in the real world a man like me is easily in the top 20% of men, so I shouldn't at all be having a difficult time with dating. Try to meet women in the real world, I know this is far easier said than done but OLD just doesn't work. Avoid environments or settings where the market is outlandishly in favor towards women (dating sites/apps, bars/clubs, speed dating, etc.) and opt for those that are more balanced. If I struggle with this the vast majority of men will as well.

Totally agree. I don't know what it is about Tinder and Bumble. At least in this area of FL the profiles many of them look fake as hell like pics not even taken in the states. Lots of fakes because of all the old guys they're trying to scam. It happens around here on dating sites time to time an old guy will send money to a fake user and they never see the money again. The news did a story on it a couple months ago at the grocery store where I work because one of the customer service staff caught it. That and couple in the alithograms of them as well.

Yet on Match and Facebook dating app I get a lot better reply rates on messages that are read on match. I usually only message HB 7.5 on up women on match which very few within a 60 mile radius on that site. I'd say my reply rate is about 12 percent for messages actually read. Which that is higher than 2-5 percent PUA says is the norm for guys with strong profiles.

I think OLD is okay if you're in a major city with lots of young people you will get dates on it. Like Tampa for example I see tons of women on there and younger and a lot less picky and less qualifiers on their profiles than here in SWFL. The ones down here on their profiles focus on $$$$. I changed how I describe my small business on my profile to make it sound sexier and bam I got my replies. Otherwise, men outnumber women more than 10 to 1 down here. Even women I've been on dates with said they're astounded by the sheer amount of guys on it.

Also, yes on OLD a lot of profiles of attractive women are fake. Especially places like match, Tinder, bumble. I'm shocked at the few dates I've got how high end HB they're especially with the sheer amount of men I'm competing with. It seems when I complement them on something and point out things in their profile that helps with the reply rates. However, very time consuming OLD is.

Then yet, I see ugly, fat, balding, scruffy losers with hot looking women. WTF is going on with this but you have troubles as well despite being in shape and educated.

 

[sangheilios]

Totally agree. I don't know what it is about Tinder and Bumble. At least in this area of FL the profiles many of them look fake as hell like pics not even taken in the states. Lots of fakes because of all the old guys they're trying to scam. It happens around here on dating sites time to time an old guy will send money to a fake user and they never see the money again. The news did a story on it a couple months ago at the grocery store where I work because one of the customer service staff caught it. That and couple in the alithograms of them as well.

Yet on Match and Facebook dating app I get a lot better reply rates on messages that are read on match. I usually only message HB 7.5 on up women on match which very few within a 60 mile radius on that site. I'd say my reply rate is about 12 percent for messages actually read. Which that is higher than 2-5 percent PUA says is the norm for guys with strong profiles.

I think OLD is okay if you're in a major city with lots of young people you will get dates on it. Like Tampa for example I see tons of women on there and younger and a lot less picky and less qualifiers on their profiles than here in SWFL. The ones down here on their profiles focus on $$$$. I changed how I describe my small business on my profile to make it sound sexier and bam I got my replies. Otherwise, men outnumber women more than 10 to 1 down here. Even women I've been on dates with said they're astounded by the sheer amount of guys on it.

Also, yes on OLD a lot of profiles of attractive women are fake. Especially places like match, Tinder, bumble. I'm shocked at the few dates I've got how high end HB they're especially with the sheer amount of men I'm competing with. It seems when I complement them on something and point out things in their profile that helps with the reply rates. However, very time consuming OLD is.

Then yet, I see ugly, fat, balding, scruffy losers with hot looking women. WTF is going on with this but you have troubles as well despite being in shape and educated.

A couple months ago or so I actually made a thread on here about the last straw for online dating and apps. I was on POF and was chatting with this woman on there, got her number and we were texting back and forth. Long story short, she was using it as a means to lure men in to sign up for her pay to watch cam shows. I wasn't even mad, I just took it as yet another sign that OLD was something I need to no longer expend any energy on. I've tried it off and on for literally years, first tried it when I was 23, and it was just a massive waste of time for me. The crazy thing is that a lot of the women on there aren't even attractive, it isn't at all balanced. I just wish I had learned this much much sooner, as for the longest time it was actually detrimental to my well being and confidence.

 

[biggoal]

A couple months ago or so I actually made a thread on here about the last straw for online dating and apps. I was on POF and was chatting with this woman on there, got her number and we were texting back and forth. Long story short, she was using it as a means to lure men in to sign up for her pay to watch cam shows. I wasn't even mad, I just took it as yet another sign that OLD was something I need to no longer expend any energy on. I've tried it off and on for literally years, first tried it when I was 23, and it was just a massive waste of time for me. The crazy thing is that a lot of the women on there aren't even attractive, it isn't at all balanced. I just wish I had learned this much much sooner, as for the longest time it was actually detrimental to my well being and confidence.

Tinder and Bumble all I'll get is that webcam and hooker crap. Like wanting to meet up locally.

POF and OKC are garbage, total garbage. The nastiest women I've ever seen. It's free for a reason. OKC the fattest, but once in a while on OKC you will see some hotties or at least cute ones and I find it fairly easy to get numbers. My thinking is because so few use OKC and the type of message system it uses that women see your messages easier hence the better reply rate. Again, total trash but once in awhile you will see a decent one on there. Key is chating up while they're online on OKC.

Even Match around here due to being an old person's region sucks too. Maybe 25 users on there within 60 miles who use it daily are HB7 and above. You see the same faces on everyday. And they're getting bombarded by men. We have big population numbers but mostly over 65.

If you're in a major city OLD is much much better. Still sh*** though but still better than old people and tourist areas.

I don't put much investment into OLD hoping for a meaningful relationship. Maybe 10 years ago as it was much much better with more serious people. Now with smartphones being so popular every tom **** and harry has an OLD account and just more trash to weed through.

Around here it's about the only option to meeting people my age range. Even the women complain about old people around here and lack of young people. I'm chatting one up right now. Hoping to meet next week. If she flakes I won't be mad anymore. To be expected with OLD now.