Women going for lesser men, interesting observations

[sangheilios]

For years I used to be left scratching my head trying to figure out why I'd have such a hard time with women. Literally I'd be saying to myself "I don't get it, I'm 6'4", handsome, naturally broad shouldered, have a fit body and a good guy and yet I get nothing?". Over all those years I also noticed women with a whole range of losers, some of which were those that had rejected me yet had gone for these guys. I used to say "I don't get it", as I'd see these unattractive, short, out of shape guys who dressed poorly and were not good guys getting these women. I used to notice these women with guys that looked like "soy boys", just kind of weak and not all that manly, poor body language, etc. I remember one women with this guy who'd have his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground all the time lol. I'd see stuff like this and get even more confused because when I was a teenager I was weak like that and no girl ever looked my way.

I've gone out a handful of times this past couple weeks and made some interesting observations that I feel have given me an answer to all of this. Last week I had gone out with a friend and early on in the night we had started a conversation with these really attractive blonde women, easily 8/10, and they were very open with us. We exchanged contact information but nothing came of it later on, which has been pretty common with me when I've met women when going out. Later that night we decided to approach this group of very average women, 3-5s. They literally wouldn't give us the time of day so we left within a couple minutes and later that evening we noticed them chatting it up and having a grand time with these out of shape and unattractive guys. I've had tons of moments like this myself where I'd do super poorly with more average or slightly below average women (speed dating event, approaches at bars, etc.) and for the longest time it was confusing to me.....until it finally hit me.

Is it possible that I'm going below my league and that these women know it and auto reject? This is honestly the only conclusion I can come up with. I've had very attractive women approach me but literally none of them were single, so I just assumed they were trolling me but now I'm starting to think otherwise.

 

[dk1990S111]

Let me know when you figure it out man.

I’ve attracted some pretty attractive girls, had girls that approach me. I’ll never forget the night I had an insanely hot chick coming on to me in a bar and everyone around noticed. Waiting for a drink this guy even said he didn’t know why the hottest chick there was all over me but gave me props for it lol

But OLD I lower my standards and I match with girls I really don’t even wanna fvck and they unmatch a lot of the time haha don’t know if they are intimidated that I own a business or its what you’re talking about with looks or what.

 

[Medina]

It's because they know you're only after sex

And it's also because you're not as hot as you think you are

It's a guy thing, we have ego's, we inflate ourselves

You're probably not even 6"4 for example

But women will activate defense mechanism if they sense being used

Those losers as you describe them don't give off that vibe

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Your body/looks don't match your game. The attractive girls see what they like but then reject you after talking with you because you don't have game congruent with your appearance.

 

[Snake-eyes]

You mentioned “nice guy” and that’s huge issue for guys

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Your body/looks don't match your game. The attractive girls see what they like but then reject you after talking with you because you don't have game congruent with your appearance.

Communication is over 50% of it. Verbal and non verbal.

 

[Robert28]

No I get what he’s saying, I see it too in my area. You have to understand that MOST women today have SEVERE emotional issues and extremely low self esteem, mental illness is rapid among women these days. I’ve also wondered why these same guys weren’t being friend zoned as opposed to being the boyfriend.

 

[Robert28]

I actually focus more on rapport building than aloofness because of the anxiety epidemic explosion. Anxiety used to be a good thing in dating because it produced longing and excitement but now its a big liability because it is crippling and causes avoidant behavior.

Yep. Every girl I’ve been meeting the last couple years claims to have severe anxiety, some even admit depression to go along with it. What a combo!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No I get what he’s saying, I see it too in my area. You have to understand that MOST women today have SEVERE emotional issues and extremely low self esteem, mental illness is rapid among women these days. I’ve also wondered why these same guys weren’t being friend zoned as opposed to being the boyfriend.

Egos get bloated out of control it becomes an issue.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yep. Every girl I’ve been meeting the last couple years claims to have severe anxiety, some even admit depression to go along with it. What a combo!

Unrealistic expectations to live up to combined with desire to fit in...

 

[Poonani Maker]

^^ I've met some REALLY f'd up ones recently but super hot totally mental though like brain is squirming like a toad Jim Morrison killer kind

 

[Clamslammer]

I know what you are going through as well. If you are an attractive man girls will pedalize you just like guys do to hot women and thus will usually reject themselves because they think you are too good for them or will cheat on them easily as you probably have girls throwing themselves at you. Most guys will not be able to understand this because they will never experience anything close to what you experience because they are usually average or below average and most think girls are this mythical confident creature but once you actually figure them out you'll realize girl are extremely insecure and not confident at all. Just like attractive girls have problems getting guys, attractive men will face the same problems.

 

[Dash Riprock]

It's the same thing for me, only I'M THE ONE rejecting the 8-9's. Let me explain:

I will f*uck an HB8+, no problem, and do f*uck many of them. BUT, these hookups or ONS or whatever never go anywhere. I really don’t push or pursue after I bang them because...

HB8-9's make HORRIBLE gf's, LTR's and wives--if that's what you're after. I could state all the obvious reasons, but I think we all know why.

I was explaining this to a plate a couple weeks ago and she was shocked. I told her if I meet a girl who's a solid HB7 with a good personality and has her s*hit together, I may pursue more legitimately.

I've simply found the hotter the girl, the MORE f*ucked up they are and more issues and trouble they cause. And it's far worse now than 10+ years ago. THIS is why you see HB8+ women with very plain and ordinary men. It's not that the man has anything special, they just are so happy to be with a hot women they'll put up with all their BS and crap and psychosis, like a dog on a leash who gets thrown an occasional treat. Basically, they're Kept Men.

I've read story after story on SS for the 15+ years about how guys have a hot gf, then she goes cold, and they go all Beta-Retard.

No way, but that's just me.

TLDR: Sex is ok to pursue with a HB8+, but NEVER wife or LTR them. Shoot for the HB7 for a relationship if that's your goal.

Good luck.

~Dash~

 

[biggoal]

I see this crap all the time. Balding, fat, poorly dress, ugly, greaseball looking type guys with HB7 on up and just wonder WTF is going on. I buy good clothes, not overweight, etc. and yet these sub par guys are getting gals.

 

[Mike32ct]

Or the guy has $ and is fat and balding from career or business stress lol.

 

[Hal9000]

It's the same thing for me, only I'M THE ONE rejecting the 8-9's. Let me explain:

I will f*uck an HB8+, no problem, and do f*uck many of them. BUT, these hookups or ONS or whatever never go anywhere. I really don’t push or pursue after I bang them because...

HB8-9's make HORRIBLE gf's, LTR's and wives--if that's what you're after. I could state all the obvious reasons, but I think we all know why.

I was explaining this to a plate a couple weeks ago and she was shocked. I told her if I meet a girl who's a solid HB7 with a good personality and has her s*hit together, I may pursue more legitimately.

I've simply found the hotter the girl, the MORE f*ucked up they are and more issues and trouble they cause. And it's far worse now than 10+ years ago. THIS is why you see HB8+ women with very plain and ordinary men. It's not that the man has anything special, they just are so happy to be with a hot women they'll put up with all their BS and crap and psychosis, like a dog on a leash who gets thrown an occasional treat. Basically, they're Kept Men.

I've read story after story on SS for the 15+ years about how guys have a hot gf, then she goes cold, and they go all Beta-Retard.

No way, but that's just me.

TLDR: Sex is ok to pursue with a HB8+, but NEVER wife or LTR them. Shoot for the HB7 for a relationship if that's your goal.

Good luck.

~Dash~

Well said. This board focuses on hot women way too much considering most of them are crazy and not worth the effort for anything other than possibly sex. Its a case of being careful what you wish for. Hot women with average guys should be a bright flashing neon sign that they are messed up in the head and can't find any guy who has better options to put up with their drama and BS.

 

[sangheilios]

I bet 95% of these couples met in social circles. For most normal women, their dating pool is their 6 degrees of friends. Getting introduced to friends of friends is the farthest they'll go. They rely on serendipity and pure happenstance. It doesn't mean that these guys are their best option. They just happen to be in the same ecosystem. The guy happened to be at the right place at the right time and knew the right people. When a better option comes along (a guy that is in her immediate social environment) she will just monkey branch to him. Why do you think some women monkey branch so easily? Their current relationship is just a launching pad. Attractive women are rarely single. They'd rather be in as placeholder relationship than to experience no romance at all.

The people that are eternally single are the ones who have no social life, friends, and constantly go on OLD or the bars. That's where you will only find attraction. But when it comes to relationships, there are other factors like chemistry, commonalities, demographics, proximity, and social proof.

This is how people have been getting together for hundreds of thousands of years. Social tribes.

When will guys learn. Women are tribal creatures. They operate within a social environment. You will never hear any of them say I met my BF on Plenty of fish.

That's a really good point, I've also observed that almost all couples that I have seen were with people who had some sort of social connection already (mutual friends/acquaintances, etc. ). I feel that this is often safe for many people, after all if you are both associating with more or less the same individuals you probably already have something in common. I think deep down many people are actually afraid to go outside of their social bubble, as it is very scary for some to bring a person they know very little about into their life. It's comfortable and safe, which is something that the majority of people place great value on.

The issue is getting yourself into such a social life where you will have access to women you'd be interested in. I feel that this is very easy during high school and college but the older you get the more difficult it becomes, as more and more people either settle down or start going down their own life paths.

 

[biggoal]

That's a really good point, I've also observed that almost all couples that I have seen were with people who had some sort of social connection already (mutual friends/acquaintances, etc. ). I feel that this is often safe for many people, after all if you are both associating with more or less the same individuals you probably already have something in common. I think deep down many people are actually afraid to go outside of their social bubble, as it is very scary for some to bring a person they know very little about into their life. It's comfortable and safe, which is something that the majority of people place great value on.

The issue is getting yourself into such a social life where you will have access to women you'd be interested in. I feel that this is very easy during high school and college but the older you get the more difficult it becomes, as more and more people either settle down or start going down their own life paths.

One of my high end hb dates from match met her ex husband on match lol. Back when old was a lot better though.

I totally agree with the earlier post on social circles. That's how my parents met. However things are different these days.

If that is the case then why are almost all the forum users on here are trying to pick up girls from bars, online dating, random public places etc instead of view friends or family members mutual friends?

 

[AttackFormation]

I bet 95% of these couples met in social circles. For most normal women, their dating pool is their 6 degrees of friends. Getting introduced to friends of friends is the farthest they'll go. They rely on serendipity and pure happenstance. It doesn't mean that these guys are their best option. They just happen to be in the same ecosystem. The guy happened to be at the right place at the right time and knew the right people. When a better option comes along (a guy that is in her immediate social environment) she will just monkey branch to him. Why do you think some women monkey branch so easily? Their current relationship is just a launching pad. Attractive women are rarely single. They'd rather be in as placeholder relationship than to experience no romance at all.

The people that are eternally single are the ones who have no social life, friends, and constantly go on OLD or the bars. That's where you will only find attraction. But when it comes to relationships, there are other factors like chemistry, commonalities, demographics, proximity, and social proof.

This is how people have been getting together for hundreds of thousands of years. Social tribes.

When will guys learn. Women are tribal creatures. They operate within a social environment. You will never hear any of them say I met my BF on Plenty of fish.

I personally think LMS should really be LSP - Looks, Status, Proximity.

 

[sangheilios]

One of my high end hb dates from match met her ex husband on match lol. Back when old was a lot better though.

I totally agree with the earlier post on social circles. That's how my parents met. However things are different these days.

If that is the case then why are almost all the forum users on here are trying to pick up girls from bars, online dating, random public places etc instead of view friends or family members mutual friends?

The reason why is because things have changed, as you mentioned. In the earlier parts of the 20th century the vast majority of people were already married with kids by the time they were in their early 20s. Most of these people would have met in high school, their neighborhood, church, etc. Socializing within your immediate community was much more common compared to now, where many of us don't even talk to neighbors at all.

Now, when we take into context what our modern lives are like it is easy to see why there is so much more difficulty. The easiest time to meet women is in high school and after that college, if you were a not so popular kid during high school this would be your second chance. However, after this is becomes increasingly difficult because your adult life revolves around primarily working/making money and not much else. The only real options to meet women are going to be approaching in random public places, bar or online dating. The only place I've ever approached that wasn't completely random was the gym, as I'm there regularly I'm not a complete stranger. However, that has never netted me anything and ever time has led to drama for me, tons of attention *****s and what have you.

If you haven't found something by 25 you are going to have a very hard time finding anything, especially as you get older because most women will be wifed up or already have children.