Relationship Impossibility

[FMCSMT]

Haven’t heard from her since Saturday, to which I did not respond to this single mother, 3 kids, 2 baby daddy, $15/hr 39 year old and a mountain of debt but I’ve known her since we were kids.

Anyway, I’m honest and upfront that I have kids of my own to raise and am not willing to:

- Cohabitate
- Re-Marry
- Blend Family/Children

I think she finally gave up on me based on this last text. After receiving it, I blocked her because I was with my kids and didn’t want any drama while with them.

She had asked why I was distant lately. I punish women by not giving attention. She would not disclose someone that she was talking to about our dating relationship. I then stopped talking to her. I followed up with “why are hiding this information?”

Her response:

“No... I didnt say who it was because it doesnt matter who told me. The point was that you wanted me to think about the stuff I post and comment on so it didnt make it look bad for you but then you posted that which was rude to our relationship.

It really matters not. You clearly are looking for a way out of our relationship. Its obvious with how much you care to text or talk to me. If you dont want to be in this relationship, fine. You clearly put everything you want or need ahead of me and you dont ever want our relationship to be any closer than it is right now. You know I want more and need more than you want to give me.”

I haven’t replied. I have heard that she’s been out at the bars with friends. Not a single call or text since leads me to believe another male is giving her attention.

She said many times that she wanted to marry me, have another child with me, and even loved me. To which I said I would never do any of that, including replying the love statements.

What are your thoughts?

It appears that relationships are impossible with my rules but I won’t budge on them. I have kids 50/50 and we have a great life. I have also spoke to my older kids about this one living with us and I got a hard no. Her kids are not fun to be around.

I unblocked her Monday after dropping my kids off. Haven’t heard a word...

 

[AJ84]

Haven’t heard from her since Saturday, to which I did not respond to this single mother, 3 kids, 2 baby daddy, $15/hr 39 year old and a mountain of debt but I’ve known her since we were kids.

Anyway, I’m honest and upfront that I have kids of my own to raise and am not willing to:

- Cohabitate
- Re-Marry
- Blend Family/Children

I think she finally gave up on me based on this last text. After receiving it, I blocked her because I was with my kids and didn’t want any drama while with them.

She had asked why I was distant lately. I punish women by not giving attention. She would not disclose someone that she was talking to about our dating relationship. I then stopped talking to her. I followed up with “why are hiding this information?”

Her response:

“No... I didnt say who it was because it doesnt matter who told me. The point was that you wanted me to think about the stuff I post and comment on so it didnt make it look bad for you but then you posted that which was rude to our relationship.

It really matters not. You clearly are looking for a way out of our relationship. Its obvious with how much you care to text or talk to me. If you dont want to be in this relationship, fine. You clearly put everything you want or need ahead of me and you dont ever want our relationship to be any closer than it is right now. You know I want more and need more than you want to give me.”

I haven’t replied. I have heard that she’s been out at the bars with friends. Not a single call or text since leads me to believe another male is giving her attention.

She said many times that she wanted to marry me, have another child with me, and even loved me. To which I said I would never do any of that, including replying the love statements.

What are your thoughts?

It appears that relationships are impossible with my rules but I won’t budge on them. I have kids 50/50 and we have a great life. I have also spoke to my older kids about this one living with us and I got a hard no. Her kids are not fun to be around.

I unblocked her Monday after dropping my kids off. Haven’t heard a word...

You both want different things so she wants to move on.

What is there to think about? What is it that you want her to do?

Find someone who is on the same page as you and don’t waste time on women who pressure you to give more than you want to give. Just let them go find what they are looking for rather than dealing with unnecessary drama.

Everyone should look for the best fit for them and not waste time on incompatible relationships. Perhaps she’s done wasting her time and maybe you should follow suit.

 

[Alvafe]

what you really want now? you already said your piece, you want to have fun with her, but she need the marriage security for her and her children, and getting prego from you means she would have a card for the rest of your life,

you did the right thing said no, youa re not the chump she wanted you be, so now you find someone else to have fun

 

[Snake-eyes]

Dude this is a no brained, it’s clear as water that this woman sees you as no more than a long term beta provider. Who she thinks is going save her from her own mistakes, that has caught up to her. After she got tired of riding the CC....Since you’ve know her from early years in your childhood, how come she didn’t went after you before having those previous kids with other guys?... Its clear to me that she knows that guys aren’t going to commit and that they only want to ejaculate and evacuate on her. Because that’s the only thing she can offer. So now that she’s old she’s looking to cash out with you ( long term beta provider).
Don’t ask for permission from us, just next her broh

 

[FMCSMT]

I appreciate the replies. It’s always within that first week or two of a fallout that my mind gets cloudy. This went down last Saturday and Monday or Tuesday when the kids went back to mom’s, I picked up The Rational Male again and pushed through 25% of his book already. I’ve read it before and many times but it’s been a while. That’s when it dawned on me of “Relationship Impossibility.”

I was overt with my stance on living together, kids, marriage, etc but not overbearing. I made it clear upfront and stood my ground when it came up occasionally over the past 5 months.

To have someone like this say and behave as if they love you, want to live with you, want to eventually marry you, and even have a kid with you; suddenly goes quiet after her needs and wants are no longer being met means only one thing = another man is fvcking her.

That’s hard man... Even though I’ve been around here a little while now and had my eyes opened, it is disheartening (time after time, and woman after woman) to know that another dvck is already going in her..

How does anyone have healthy intersexual relationship today knowing this very thing happens all the time?

 

[Jager]

How does anyone have healthy intersexual relationship today knowing this very thing happens all the time?

Full disclosure, it’s already been stated as to what’s going on with her. She hit the wall, has multiple kids, and she needs security and resources. She’s trying to manipulate you into settling down with her. I’m commenting on your question I quoted above.

It’s only a problem if you’re operating on the old paradigms. Let’s look at it from a different angle. The whole point of genders is sex, reproduction, and raising children. That’s the reason genders exist. All else is pointless and secondary in that context. Each gender has their purpose in a relationship. As a man, it would be to lead and stabilize the group with my vision and masculinity. Women are destined for securing resources and raising the children. She is designed for motherhood. Nothing else. She doesn’t even know what it’s like to be male, and she can’t even imagine it.

If I am not masculine, sh!t hits the fan. The whole thing falls apart. Without leadership, the woman goes off the deep end and destroys her life. Without masculinity, the family unit disintegrates.

Most men will become needy and base their personal value on her affection, attraction and attention. He’s built the relationship he’s in into a quest for those things. It’s feminine and destructive. He isn’t leading, or is failing at leading, so the relationship falls apart. Thus the reason why most relationships fail and explode like C4 in a tight space, destroying everything around it. Everything. He turned into a pvssy, formed the relationship based on deception and manipulation to get what he wants. Because of his lack of masculinity, and a spine, she destroys herself because she’s an emotional train wreck by the time she’s 25 (in most cases, because of the way our society is set up). See where I’m going with this?

The current definition of a relationship in the modern era is a dumpster fire of insecurities and bullish!t. It’s nowhere near the truth, both biologically and socially.

I will comment, though, that the only reason she’s trying to manipulate you into it is because she sensed she might be able to pull it off. Something inside you she saw and she’s trying to capitalize on it. I guarantee she wouldn’t try that with the other guys she’s slept with on the side while seeing you or someone else, because it never would’ve worked with them regardless, so she didn’t bother. If you’re thinking about it, knowing you aren’t interested, it tells me you have some kind of attachment toward her, and part of your personal value is tied to her. Your value needs to come from within. She ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT be the source of your personal value. My golden rule:

Never need praise, approval or sympathy.

 

[AJ84]

I appreciate the replies. It’s always within that first week or two of a fallout that my mind gets cloudy. This went down last Saturday and Monday or Tuesday when the kids went back to mom’s, I picked up The Rational Male again and pushed through 25% of his book already. I’ve read it before and many times but it’s been a while. That’s when it dawned on me of “Relationship Impossibility.”

I was overt with my stance on living together, kids, marriage, etc but not overbearing. I made it clear upfront and stood my ground when it came up occasionally over the past 5 months.

To have someone like this say and behave as if they love you, want to live with you, want to eventually marry you, and even have a kid with you; suddenly goes quiet after her needs and wants are no longer being met means only one thing = another man is fvcking her.

That’s hard man... Even though I’ve been around here a little while now and had my eyes opened, it is disheartening (time after time, and woman after woman) to know that another dvck is already going in her..

How does anyone have healthy intersexual relationship today knowing this very thing happens all the time?

I don’t get it. You didn’t want those things with her, you made it clear to her that you didn’t want those things, you acknowledge that her needs are not being met with you and now you are ticked off that she’s moving on?

What were you expecting her to do? Clearly she wants something that you don’t. You have a right not to give her those things and she has a right to move on because of it. Why does that make her the bad one? How long would you stick around if you were her? Come on now.

No one one is the bad guy here. You’re just both on different pages. Find someone who doesn’t want marriage and kids with you if those are thing you don’t want.

 

[Alvafe]

I don’t get it. You didn’t want those things with her, you made it clear to her that you didn’t want those things, you acknowledge that her needs are not being met with you and now you are ticked off that she’s moving on?

What were you expecting her to do? Clearly she wants something that you don’t. You have a right not to give her those things and she has a right to move on because of it. Why does that make her the bad one? How long would you stick around if you were her? Come on now.

No one one is the bad guy here. You’re just both on different pages. Find someone who doesn’t want marriage and kids with you if those are thing you don’t want.

I belive he is more ticket of by her lieing, or aparent lie, she says she loves him but the moment things don't go her way, its highway, that is not really how someone who tells you they love you would act.

so from this 1 of 2 come to my mind, she lied, she didn't love him, but wanted his money resource and security, or 2 she is trying to manipulate now, by showering him with atencion, then out of blue pull everything back, with make him wonder what is happening, and in doing so pulling him even more to her web

both cases are not good, hell the 2nd case is even more annoying since that means the b!tch is really trying to manipulate him and its working since the op didn't even notice it

 

[jaymbrs]

I'm going through something somewhat similar with my current gf. It's moreso for the companionship/sex than anything else. If my friends don't want to go to XYZ place, she's usually down to go. I guess we all reach that point where someone wants a bigger commitment than the other is willing to give.

 

[AJ84]

I belive he is more ticket of by her lieing, or aparent lie, she says she loves him but the moment things don't go her way, its highway, that is not really how someone who tells you they love you would act.

so from this 1 of 2 come to my mind, she lied, she didn't love him, but wanted his money resource and security, or 2 she is trying to manipulate now, by showering him with atencion, then out of blue pull everything back, with make him wonder what is happening, and in doing so pulling him even more to her web

both cases are not good, hell the 2nd case is even more annoying since that means the b!tch is really trying to manipulate him and its working since the op didn't even notice it

How is someone who loves him supposed to act? If you were with a woman who only wanted sex once a week in the missionary position and you loved her, how would you act?

If a girl is not giving you what you want, what would you do and what would you advise his ex gf to do knowing that she is not happy with the relationship?

Half the guys here hard next girls if they don’t put out after the third date but this girl is supposed to hang on to a relationship that’s not working for her? Ok... and really, the relationship isn’t working for him either if he is getting that kind of pressure from her.

And if she was trying to use him, then he dodged a bullet and no need to get upset that a woman who was trying to use him, no longer wants to. I mean what are his real options here? Have her stay with them and continue to try to use him and he would be ok with that? I don’t think he would be.

 

[AJ84]

I'm going through something somewhat similar with my current gf. It's moreso for the companionship/sex than anything else. If my friends don't want to go to XYZ place, she's usually down to go. I guess we all reach that point where someone wants a bigger commitment than the other is willing to give.

In many cases that does happen and it’s best to part ways if both on really not on the same page, rather than deal with bs and headaches.

 

[FMCSMT]

I belive he is more ticket of by her lieing, or aparent lie, she says she loves him but the moment things don't go her way, its highway, that is not really how someone who tells you they love you would act.

so from this 1 of 2 come to my mind, she lied, she didn't love him, but wanted his money resource and security, or 2 she is trying to manipulate now, by showering him with atencion, then out of blue pull everything back, with make him wonder what is happening, and in doing so pulling him even more to her web

both cases are not good, hell the 2nd case is even more annoying since that means the b!tch is really trying to manipulate him and its working since the op didn't even notice it

That is it. Someone who says and acts like they love you turn around on a dime and it’s realized that it was all bs like I thought it was and even said that. I told her every time she says that all I hear is bs and wool covering lies so please stop saying it.

 

[AJ84]

That is it. Someone who says and acts like they love you turn around on a dime and it’s realized that it was all bs like I thought it was and even said that. I told her every time she says that all I hear is bs and wool covering lies so please stop saying it.

You both made it clear what each other wanted and it’s not a match and she moved on. Honestly what do you want her to do? Put aside what she wants to be happy in a relationship just to stay with you? Would you do that for her? She clearly doesn’t want to accept the relationship as it is but it seems that you expected her to because maybe you think that’s what love is, but it isn’t.

This is a head scratcher to me because clearly you both want different things yet you expect her to settle for less than what she wants when you have no intention of providing what she wants. Again, you should not provide or commit to more than you want and I admire your honesty with her about that. But why be mad when she finally decides to believe you when you say you will not do those things?

Even if she loves you, there’s only so much women are willing to do without if it really is important to them. For some reason it’s important to her to get married and have another kid and while that may make her a bad person in your eyes, she is not a bad person for not being willing to accept less than what she wants just as you are not a bad person for not being willing to give more than you want.

Really, the best thing is to date women who don’t want to marry or have your kids. Younger girls are less likely to want those things.

 

[Alvafe]

How is someone who loves him supposed to act? If you were with a woman who only wanted sex once a week in the missionary position and you loved her, how would you act?

If a girl is not giving you what you want, what would you do and what would you advise his ex gf to do knowing that she is not happy with the relationship?

Half the guys here hard next girls if they don’t put out after the third date but this girl is supposed to hang on to a relationship that’s not working for her? Ok... and really, the relationship isn’t working for him either if he is getting that kind of pressure from her.

And if she was trying to use him, then he dodged a bullet and no need to get upset that a woman who was trying to use him, no longer wants to. I mean what are his real options here? Have her stay with them and continue to try to use him and he would be ok with that? I don’t think he would be.

how? first of all marriage IS something who should happen normally, eventually he would feel he want her to his side everyday, when he notice her best interest is him being better version of himself and she IS willing to help, she want everything by doing nothing. if she "loved" him the marriage wouldn't be a issue, she would stay with him even if he don't feel like living together, how many GF/BF LTR both have they own houses and always meet? maybe spend one night together by even so each have his own house?

woman who says only way to stay with her is marriage, is no really into the guy, she want something, don't matter who, I certainly won't be the whoever she need, no guy with a drop of self respect would want that, the girl want marriage? ok its nice, but on the moment the marriage is the only important thing and not who, then we have a problem.


and serious till woman get this in they thick skulls, there is no way the higher grade men would commit to a woman, only the naive fools, the ones who woman don't respect, and no self respecting men will take said woman, with become the circle of owman complaining there is no men in the market, but then marry one and in 5-10 years divorce, then rise and repeat again, with IS that this woman OP is talking with

 

[AJ84]

how? first of all marriage IS something who should happen normally, eventually he would feel he want her to his side everyday, when he notice her best interest is him being better version of himself and she IS willing to help, she want everything by doing nothing. if she "loved" him the marriage wouldn't be a issue, she would stay with him even if he don't feel like living together, how many GF/BF LTR both have they own houses and always meet? maybe spend one night together by even so each have his own house?

woman who says only way to stay with her is marriage, is no really into the guy, she want something, don't matter who, I certainly won't be the whoever she need, no guy with a drop of self respect would want that, the girl want marriage? ok its nice, but on the moment the marriage is the only important thing and not who, then we have a problem.


and serious till woman get this in they thick skulls, there is no way the higher grade men would commit to a woman, only the naive fools, the ones who woman don't respect, and no self respecting men will take said woman, with become the circle of owman complaining there is no men in the market, but then marry one and in 5-10 years divorce, then rise and repeat again, with IS that this woman OP is talking with

You’re right, a woman who only wants a marriage and not you as a person should be avoided.

But this doesn’t explain why are you ticked off and what you expected her to do. You told her you didn’t want to marry her. You are saying that it should happen normally when he wants her to be by his side everyday. You are implying by your post (and to her, directly) that she is not someone whom you want by your side everyday (so maybe you already sensed that she was just in it for the marriage), You are saying you expected her to accept that if she really loved you so you basically expected her to love you despite her not being someone you would choose to marry and despite your suspicion that she was just in it to get married. Wtf lol.

If you are a high value man and she wasn’t of value enough for you, which is basically what you are saying, again, why are you ticked off?

 

[AJ84]

how? first of all marriage IS something who should happen normally, eventually he would feel he want her to his side everyday, when he notice her best interest is him being better version of himself and she IS willing to help, she want everything by doing nothing. if she "loved" him the marriage wouldn't be a issue, she would stay with him even if he don't feel like living together, how many GF/BF LTR both have they own houses and always meet? maybe spend one night together by even so each have his own house?

woman who says only way to stay with her is marriage, is no really into the guy, she want something, don't matter who, I certainly won't be the whoever she need, no guy with a drop of self respect would want that, the girl want marriage? ok its nice, but on the moment the marriage is the only important thing and not who, then we have a problem.


and serious till woman get this in they thick skulls, there is no way the higher grade men would commit to a woman, only the naive fools, the ones who woman don't respect, and no self respecting men will take said woman, with become the circle of owman complaining there is no men in the market, but then marry one and in 5-10 years divorce, then rise and repeat again, with IS that this woman OP is talking with

Got you mixed up with the OP and my wtf response was based on that.

You’re not him so you can’t assume that he feels he would eventually marry.

Also you didn’t answer my question about what you would do if you loved a girl who only wanted sex once a week in the missionary position. If you really loved her, you would be ok with that right? .
....right?

 

[Alvafe]

Got you mixed up with the OP and my wtf response was based on that.

You’re not him so you can’t assume that he feels he would eventually marry.

Also you didn’t answer my question about what you would do if you loved a girl who only wanted sex once a week in the missionary position. If you really loved her, you would be ok with that right? .
....right?

can't say, I don't really loved anyone, lust willing to have sex, yes, love nah, plus you are trying to make me give a certain circustance to you as making men and woman loving the same way, with they don't, so nope don't fall for that one

and i'm not assuming anything, i'm answering your question about how you know how a woman love you. what I assumed was teh reason he asked here, with pissed you off for some reason

 

[AJ84]

can't say, I don't really loved anyone, lust willing to have sex, yes, love nah, plus you are trying to make me give a certain circustance to you as making men and woman loving the same way, with they don't, so nope don't fall for that one

and i'm not assuming anything, i'm answering your question about how you know how a woman love you. what I assumed was teh reason he asked here, with pissed you off for some reason

I’m not pissed off I was confused as to why he processed her leaving him the way he did. Then I reacted to your post and yeah maybe triggered a bit there because it seemed like you expect a woman to stick around despite unmet needs if she really loves him.

But that’s not usually how ‘love’ works for both men and women.

But for the OP I think he made the right decision not to give in to something he didn’t want to do, and the result may not be what he wanted or expected but it frees him from the drama and pressure and also frees him up to meet someone who is on the same page as him.