Yep, substituting one addiction for another @stovepipe. I knew a guy that missed the hot sex so much after her marriage cheat and dump he carelessly banged a low class skank raw and ended up with HIV…
there is something to say about this... a woman that encourages recklessness and pushes you to abuse her is setting a trap. she may even be doing this subconsciously because she simply feels the most pleasure when she's being dominated and degraded in such a primal fashion. sometimes i feel like doing this relentlessly because it's extremely enjoyable in the moment in a very juvenile perverse way. but experience has taught me that kinky stuff is meant to be built on a foundation of trust and in baby steps. the reason being that extremely kinky acts can have very traumatic and long lasting effects when not respected for their power. if there's no sense of underlying connection and overall control(in kink everything is called a 'scene' to drive this point home and generally the dom is orchestrating things) then it's just two people diminishing themselves and getting off to it. it's an extremely unhealthy, toxic, short sighted, and unsustainable sexual perversion. it may feel good in the moment but then reality sets in and there's tons of doubt, guilt, resentment, uncertainty, shame, trauma, etc on both sides.
in a healthy kink encounter steps are taken to mitigate any chance of trauma. safe words, community, prior agreements or good communication, after care, honesty, the reinforcement that this is a 'scene' and something done for fun and with a positive goal, not to damage your psyche. a healthy approach to what most would consider vile acts is actually done by building a relationship with virtues. anything else will implode when resentment or shame or whatever neglected feedback finally bubbles to the surface(i.e. porn star freak outs, women/men falling into and out of the kink community quickly). this is why the kink community members that last tend to be ones that are kind of nerdy, reserved, and very good natured. they have their ducks in a row and respect themselves so they naturally respect others and manifest that in their play. they're honest and know how to communicate what they want. this in turn makes them reliable and resilient. the ones that last are not massive skanks that carry disease and neglect themselves and attempt to manipulate or gaslight or love bomb. those tend to crash and burn regardless of the environment.
the biggest issue i see is that when someone goes about kink the wrong way they start a narrative in their mind that can lead to dark and deadly places. just like what you mention, catching HIV or like others have mentioned, committing suicide. if you understand that something feels wrong but one of these confused skanks tries to get you to dominate her without understanding the delicacy of the situation it can make things MUCH worse for both of you. if you go along with it you may resent her for being disrespectful or feel you're doing something wrong/against your will. if you act upon this resentment in a negative abusive way you'll compound the problem because she will actively encourage you with orgasms and such, giving you positive feedback into a detrimental state of mind. you'll begin to think kink is meant to be toxic and chaotic, full of abuse and hurt and selfish stupidity. you'll diminish yourself into a piece of shiit. on the other hand if you hesitate then out of ignorance one of these skanks will make you feel inadequate or attempt to directly diminish you as opposed to indirectly with orgasms. either road can lead to diminishing life conditions and even suicide for either of you. it's self destructive af.
the common theme is confusion. know yourself, own yourself, then seek a fun partner. if she constantly neglects herself and you can not inspire her and educate her, if she's unwilling to cooperate or be honest and open, then you simply can not diminish yourself by continuing to sink time and attention into her. if you don't know the power of kink then either read up on it or life will teach you directly with pain and suffering.
it boils down to the same themes mentioned here. maintaining frame, boundaries, clear communication, and disengaging when bad behavior persists. kink is an extension and amplification of all the same principles. it tests you more and the play is more rewarding.
