Greetings.
Some background on myself; (I am stating facts not trying to sell myself); over 50, extremely fit/attractive for my age, confidence level that can go overboard, quite empathic to human behaviour, comfortable means. Childhood upbringing left a love/affection deficiency (took me years to own up to that) hence prone to white knighting, oneitis and the such. After realizing my state, had a long battle with myself to initially disguise then rid myself of said perspectives.
I am confident in saying that I have done a good job though not completely erasing resurfacing of the symptom. Banged a lot of women in my life but struggled with women I had high attraction to - not necessarily related to their SMV but rather what I deemed attractive. Came close to marriage 3 times, still single, no kids. 2 FWB atm, sex not an issue, still have a couple of buddies for life that are also single and we do our antiques. I can be very impulsive.
Quite red pill aware hence my mistrust towards the fairer sex. I play along but can see most of the manipulations & agendas. Have not ruled LTRs and possibly kids too. Only with the right woman though (quite subjective, I know).
Some background on her; slightly over 40, know her as a peripheral friend for almost 10 years but never saw her in a sexual way. Low self esteem, chaos personified if triggered. 9 months ago she ended a 4-yeat LTR with a prospective husband/father of her kids. She wants a family. Troubled childhood (perhaps an instance of sexual molestation) as well as relationship issues as an adult. In a nutshell, abysmal choices. Upon her break-up did a massive overhaul on herself, gained a point or two on the scale (I noticed her as a prospect at that time).
. Decent banking job, extremely connected, hyper-active socially. Fair amount of orbiters. Definitely enjoys new-found male attention. Definitely led a couple of guys on. Unclear state with a current guy who's professionally posted abroad. They have been (?) together for 4 months but she knows him since early 2000's. See below for more on this.
Why I approached; Met her socially on Feb and again on April. On both occasions she gave a very strong eye contact vibe that reached my core. Why you may ask. I respond to varied bits and ticks, call them little fetishes if you so care. That look of pure desire + apprehension left an impression. Same thing happen during our social meet on April. In addition, she came with some hefty sexual innuendos - quite unlike the girl my buddies and I used to know.
It's July. Her thought lay semi-dormant in the back of my mind. One evening I phoned her (never done that before) and ask her out. She happily agrees. We meet for drinks and within 5 mins I inform her that after tonight we'll either be better friends, I'll **** her or **** her+. Impulsive, remember but boosted by gut instinct. She reciprocates beyond my wildest expectations and for 4 hours we came close to a porn set in a crowded bar. The same thing happened on the next date 5 days later.
On the first date, I was about to tell her to meet me at the bar's WC but something held me back. By night's end. still petting, groping and kissing on our way to our cars I told her that I am not going to **** you tonight and you'll understand later. Also told her to masturbate when she got home thinknig about what I was going to do to her and realise she was going to be mine. Sure enough 2 hours later I receive a text "The answer is yes".
Weirdness starts in the following day. I text her "Had a sweet sleep?" She replies "Sweet but worrisome". I was baffled and waited for further explanations. None came. 3 days went by, finally I texted her whether I am going to ever find out what worrisome means, she replies some womanish to the effect that I am clueless. Anyhow, I never get a straight answer but set up a 2nd date. See above for heat levels but I now press the point and although still coming short, ambiguous and dissembling she mentions the long-distance guy. I swipe that aside by saying that he did not seem to be in your thoughts when I had my fingers up your cooch a few days ago - and as it turned out, a few minutes later as well. She smiled and said nothing.
However, the realisation that something was holding her back made me pull back mentally and although we were porning for another 4 hours she felt I had began thinking about the situation. Please note my character profile at start, I know I could have handled this a million different ways. I thought that I wanted more than a one night shag and felt that by dodging sex on date #1 I somehow reassured her. I fully understand that most of you are smirking reading this and even I have trouble rationalising why I acted this way. On date #2 I still could have easily closed but her ambivalence put me somewhat off - though the sexuality of those 8 hrs is something that I do not find often.
Since the second date I have been the sole initiator. She takes her time replying always does though. Set up a 3rd date, she said she couldn't but asked for a re-schedule. She used a pretext to make our date coincide with all friends attending a visiting friendly couple so there was no 1on1. Gave me a furtive tonguer when we had a moment alone.
She and a couple (confirmed) gay friends had planned a 2 week vacation and she departed for 2 weeks. No texts, no calls. Upon returning, she used FB to trigger my interest (well executed I must say) and then again nothing. I texted, got a curt reply. Silence ensued for 5-6 days. She called me on my BD for wishes but left it late in the evening. Attempted to set up another date, she said yes but prior to hanging up she "remembered" she had that thing to do and proposed the day after. I got annoyed and said provisionally yes but will confirm. Next day I texted the date is off. She texted ok.
Four days later and not being in my comfortable centre, I called her and she told me she was heading to a concert with friends. As a matter of fact, one of my FWBs had arranged as a surpsrise for us two to go to the same venue! I only found out about that a few hours later so I proposed she canceled her date, I cancel mine and let's have a fab time. She declined.
This Sunday I called her, no reply until 4 hours later (through text) "I am out of town on my way back". That was the last I heard of her.
I have not initiated at all since then.
I trust my gut, but even it gives me mixed signals. I am interested because she still is in good credit due to that particular look/invitation back in Feb & April and of course the explosive chemistry over our two dates. I regard her lack of initiation problematic and her latest non-reply as insulting. My self esteem comes first always.
Guess I am here because I have hit that precarious spot whereby I feel I showed in enough ways my interest and if she's still game she has to come forth. On the other hand and considering this is a woman with a background as above, very volatile and low self esteem perhaps I put the wrong message when I did not close on her on the two dates.
Considering my options, I would say A. accept her as a loss B. maintain silence (contact may happen due to common friends) C. contact her, in my regular casual easy going way, playfully insinuate that she needs to improve in the giving department D. forego all negative sentiments and continue courting towards the next date - which should it happen, would be with sheets action.
Thanks for the long read.
Some background on myself; (I am stating facts not trying to sell myself); over 50, extremely fit/attractive for my age, confidence level that can go overboard, quite empathic to human behaviour, comfortable means. Childhood upbringing left a love/affection deficiency (took me years to own up to that) hence prone to white knighting, oneitis and the such. After realizing my state, had a long battle with myself to initially disguise then rid myself of said perspectives.
I am confident in saying that I have done a good job though not completely erasing resurfacing of the symptom. Banged a lot of women in my life but struggled with women I had high attraction to - not necessarily related to their SMV but rather what I deemed attractive. Came close to marriage 3 times, still single, no kids. 2 FWB atm, sex not an issue, still have a couple of buddies for life that are also single and we do our antiques. I can be very impulsive.
Quite red pill aware hence my mistrust towards the fairer sex. I play along but can see most of the manipulations & agendas. Have not ruled LTRs and possibly kids too. Only with the right woman though (quite subjective, I know).
Some background on her; slightly over 40, know her as a peripheral friend for almost 10 years but never saw her in a sexual way. Low self esteem, chaos personified if triggered. 9 months ago she ended a 4-yeat LTR with a prospective husband/father of her kids. She wants a family. Troubled childhood (perhaps an instance of sexual molestation) as well as relationship issues as an adult. In a nutshell, abysmal choices. Upon her break-up did a massive overhaul on herself, gained a point or two on the scale (I noticed her as a prospect at that time).
. Decent banking job, extremely connected, hyper-active socially. Fair amount of orbiters. Definitely enjoys new-found male attention. Definitely led a couple of guys on. Unclear state with a current guy who's professionally posted abroad. They have been (?) together for 4 months but she knows him since early 2000's. See below for more on this.
Why I approached; Met her socially on Feb and again on April. On both occasions she gave a very strong eye contact vibe that reached my core. Why you may ask. I respond to varied bits and ticks, call them little fetishes if you so care. That look of pure desire + apprehension left an impression. Same thing happen during our social meet on April. In addition, she came with some hefty sexual innuendos - quite unlike the girl my buddies and I used to know.
It's July. Her thought lay semi-dormant in the back of my mind. One evening I phoned her (never done that before) and ask her out. She happily agrees. We meet for drinks and within 5 mins I inform her that after tonight we'll either be better friends, I'll **** her or **** her+. Impulsive, remember but boosted by gut instinct. She reciprocates beyond my wildest expectations and for 4 hours we came close to a porn set in a crowded bar. The same thing happened on the next date 5 days later.
On the first date, I was about to tell her to meet me at the bar's WC but something held me back. By night's end. still petting, groping and kissing on our way to our cars I told her that I am not going to **** you tonight and you'll understand later. Also told her to masturbate when she got home thinknig about what I was going to do to her and realise she was going to be mine. Sure enough 2 hours later I receive a text "The answer is yes".
Weirdness starts in the following day. I text her "Had a sweet sleep?" She replies "Sweet but worrisome". I was baffled and waited for further explanations. None came. 3 days went by, finally I texted her whether I am going to ever find out what worrisome means, she replies some womanish to the effect that I am clueless. Anyhow, I never get a straight answer but set up a 2nd date. See above for heat levels but I now press the point and although still coming short, ambiguous and dissembling she mentions the long-distance guy. I swipe that aside by saying that he did not seem to be in your thoughts when I had my fingers up your cooch a few days ago - and as it turned out, a few minutes later as well. She smiled and said nothing.
However, the realisation that something was holding her back made me pull back mentally and although we were porning for another 4 hours she felt I had began thinking about the situation. Please note my character profile at start, I know I could have handled this a million different ways. I thought that I wanted more than a one night shag and felt that by dodging sex on date #1 I somehow reassured her. I fully understand that most of you are smirking reading this and even I have trouble rationalising why I acted this way. On date #2 I still could have easily closed but her ambivalence put me somewhat off - though the sexuality of those 8 hrs is something that I do not find often.
Since the second date I have been the sole initiator. She takes her time replying always does though. Set up a 3rd date, she said she couldn't but asked for a re-schedule. She used a pretext to make our date coincide with all friends attending a visiting friendly couple so there was no 1on1. Gave me a furtive tonguer when we had a moment alone.
She and a couple (confirmed) gay friends had planned a 2 week vacation and she departed for 2 weeks. No texts, no calls. Upon returning, she used FB to trigger my interest (well executed I must say) and then again nothing. I texted, got a curt reply. Silence ensued for 5-6 days. She called me on my BD for wishes but left it late in the evening. Attempted to set up another date, she said yes but prior to hanging up she "remembered" she had that thing to do and proposed the day after. I got annoyed and said provisionally yes but will confirm. Next day I texted the date is off. She texted ok.
Four days later and not being in my comfortable centre, I called her and she told me she was heading to a concert with friends. As a matter of fact, one of my FWBs had arranged as a surpsrise for us two to go to the same venue! I only found out about that a few hours later so I proposed she canceled her date, I cancel mine and let's have a fab time. She declined.
This Sunday I called her, no reply until 4 hours later (through text) "I am out of town on my way back". That was the last I heard of her.
I have not initiated at all since then.
I trust my gut, but even it gives me mixed signals. I am interested because she still is in good credit due to that particular look/invitation back in Feb & April and of course the explosive chemistry over our two dates. I regard her lack of initiation problematic and her latest non-reply as insulting. My self esteem comes first always.
Guess I am here because I have hit that precarious spot whereby I feel I showed in enough ways my interest and if she's still game she has to come forth. On the other hand and considering this is a woman with a background as above, very volatile and low self esteem perhaps I put the wrong message when I did not close on her on the two dates.
Considering my options, I would say A. accept her as a loss B. maintain silence (contact may happen due to common friends) C. contact her, in my regular casual easy going way, playfully insinuate that she needs to improve in the giving department D. forego all negative sentiments and continue courting towards the next date - which should it happen, would be with sheets action.
Thanks for the long read.
