So I was a rebound

[AttackFormation]

You guys can try to convince each other for the next 1000 years exactly what this emotionally haywire woman is feeling and doing... the point is the OP shouldn't focus on her and anything that goes off in that direction is wrong no matter where it leads. This was a minimal speed bump. He needs to keep focusing on himself and not let this experience shift him off balance.

3 nice sex dates and then she cut it off, great... tell some kids about it and move on. It's when you start to obsess about this woman's shifting, haywire feelings and actions that things will start to go wrong. Put that energy into yourself.

 

[Focal core]

You guys can try to convince each other for the next 1000 years exactly what this emotionally haywire woman is feeling and doing... the point is the OP shouldn't focus on her and anything that goes off in that direction is wrong no matter where it leads. This was a minimal speed bump. He needs to keep focusing on himself and not let this experience shift him off balance.

3 nice sex dates and then she cut it off, great... tell some kids about it and move on. It's when you start to obsess about this woman's shifting, haywire feelings and actions that things will start to go wrong. Put that energy into yourself.

Did somebody hurting you mate? We only exchange intellectual properties here. Something we can discuss to heal, to grow and change.. From where I see Its all positive mate.

 

[Medina]

I will never understand why it's SO important for guys to shred guys on this site? All it does is create men who are bitter AT women.

You have no solid "proof" of anything that you are saying except that you are hamster twisting what he posted, to purposefully try to shame him.

I'm basing my replies off of what she said and what he said his intuition is telling him. Stop the damn hamster wheel and take her words at face value

His intuition is correct, he was a rebound. Nothing more nothing less. There's no Machiavellian intent going on, lol

I'm not shaming him. I'm shaming her.

He sent those texts because he thought he was in a good position

But she selfishly got what she wanted and now she's gone. Yet you call her "afraid"

I would imagine your opinion would be slightly different if it was a MAN using a WOMAN for sex and then ghosting her

 

[Focal core]

I'm not shaming him. I'm shaming her.

He sent those texts because he thought he was in a good position

But she selfishly got what she wanted and now she's gone. Yet you call her "afraid"

I would imagine your opinion would be slightly different if it was a MAN using a WOMAN for sex and then ghosting her

Maybe she forget where she put her vibrator when in her past relationship.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Which wouldn't usually be any kind of a problem, but ironically, I actually started to really like the girl--like, was planning on saying we should be exclusive. I'm digging this point in, because I'm extremely picky and almost never date seriously because of it. I legit haven't even thought of "wifeing up" a girl in over 8 years.

We saw each other three times and I thought had a great time each date. And yes, we had sex (every date). After the first two dates she made her interest in me very obvious via texts. She was initiating conversations quite a bit and we were texting frequently throughout the week.

Anyways, I'll get right to it... Tuesday I texted her saying I was thinking about her, she asked "about what", I told her "cuddling up next to you, wrapping my arms around you and kissing your neck." She said it "sounds lovely", then I told her I wanted to see her again soon--no response. As stupid as this sounds, I KNEW something was up right there just comparing it to her past behavior. So today I texted her...

ME: *name*, I know what we need...
HER: What's that?
ME: Another white claw night, but this time we drink them all.
HER: Listen I really enjoyed our time together but I feel like we didn't really vibe on a non-sexual level so I'm not sure I want to see you again. And I'm not just looking for casual sex with anyone.

Sh!t stung. Another issue with her is that she's just getting out of a relationship from 1-2 months ago, where the guy moved to another part of the country so they had to break up.

So yeah, that sucked ass.

Her actions demonstrate she wanted casual sex.

 

[Robert28]

Her actions demonstrate she wanted casual sex.

She had to say she wasn’t looking for it though because if you tell a lie enough times it’ll be true.

 

[Focal core]

She had to say she wasn’t looking for it though because if you tell a lie enough times it’ll be true.

No women will admit to that.. Sane or insane

 

[HankHill]

Thanks OP for posting this even though it's hard to post things here because people just love to dog pile to make themselves sound better. However, I look at each of these real life examples to learn from.

So here's the thing, a woman just coming out of a relationship who put herself on the market and is having sex with you on every date (especially if she also happens to be pretty) will have many other options besides you. The thing is she's in no hurry to be in a relationship, she just wants to enjoy herself, forget about the past and feel wanted (validation). All those sh*t test threads recently, well this is where she'll test to find out who is a potential for long term. She will do this subconsciously. But here's where most of us mess up because it works back asswards...we give her all the validation and show her our hand too soon. This is what turned her off -you gave away the ending of the fairy tale story she was weaving in her mind. You spoiled it for her and she lost interest. Contrast that with a guy who just f*cks her, shows her a good time and when she leaves doesn't chase her at all. As Guru1000 says it's during the space/distance when the interest is created. Furthermore women are interested in men who's feelings are unclear, who they can't pin down easily, and men who have other options. She questions herself (am I not good enough for him? why isn't he pursuing me), this increases your SMV. All of a sudden you're standing out from the rest. She wants to know more about you vs. the guy who's beating down her door professing his love for her (extreme example here).

OP, the best thing you can do is to tell her is "Hey no worries, reach out if you change your mind!" then disappear and never contact her unless she contacts you. Women's emotions change all the time, especially if she's coming out of a relationship she'll be going through a ton of them. The fact she slept with you on each date means she's sexually attracted to you and feels safe so chances are she'll come around. When she does just focus on having a good time with her and then letting her go...let the women bring up relationships and LTR stuff. That has to be her idea.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Which wouldn't usually be any kind of a problem, but ironically, I actually started to really like the girl--like, was planning on saying we should be exclusive. I'm digging this point in, because I'm extremely picky and almost never date seriously because of it. I legit haven't even thought of "wifeing up" a girl in over 8 years.

We saw each other three times and I thought had a great time each date. And yes, we had sex (every date). After the first two dates she made her interest in me very obvious via texts. She was initiating conversations quite a bit and we were texting frequently throughout the week.

Anyways, I'll get right to it... Tuesday I texted her saying I was thinking about her, she asked "about what", I told her "cuddling up next to you, wrapping my arms around you and kissing your neck." She said it "sounds lovely", then I told her I wanted to see her again soon--no response. As stupid as this sounds, I KNEW something was up right there just comparing it to her past behavior. So today I texted her...

ME: *name*, I know what we need...
HER: What's that?
ME: Another white claw night, but this time we drink them all.
HER: Listen I really enjoyed our time together but I feel like we didn't really vibe on a non-sexual level so I'm not sure I want to see you again. And I'm not just looking for casual sex with anyone.

Sh!t stung. Another issue with her is that she's just getting out of a relationship from 1-2 months ago, where the guy moved to another part of the country so they had to break up.

So yeah, that sucked ass.

#nextset

Low sex drive means #next. It also means that she's getting her **** pushed in on the side and your made to wait.

 

[lamath]

She actualy used him to try and feel better about herself, now that its not working she is backing up.
Its that simple.


Only thing op did wrong is getting the feelings too fast.

Ppl need to stop the overanalyzing of every msg sent just incase they might sound needy.

 

[Korrupt]

So here's the thing, a woman just coming out of a relationship who put herself on the market and is having sex with you on every date (especially if she also happens to be pretty) will have many other options besides you. The thing is she's in no hurry to be in a relationship, she just wants to enjoy herself, forget about the past and feel wanted (validation). All those sh*t test threads recently, well this is where she'll test to find out who is a potential for long term. She will do this subconsciously. But here's where most of us mess up because it works back asswards...we give her all the validation and show her our hand too soon. This is what turned her off -you gave away the ending of the fairy tale story she was weaving in her mind. You spoiled it for her and she lost interest. Contrast that with a guy who just f*cks her, shows her a good time and when she leaves doesn't chase her at all. As Guru1000 says it's during the space/distance when the interest is created. Furthermore women are interested in men who's feelings are unclear, who they can't pin down easily, and men who have other options. She questions herself (am I not good enough for him? why isn't he pursuing me), this increases your SMV. All of a sudden you're standing out from the rest. She wants to know more about you vs. the guy who's beating down her door professing his love for her (extreme example here).

This is the description of a mentally fvcked up woman who is not in control of her own emotions. The kind of woman that every man should aspire to AVOID. Actually no... This is the kind of PERSON that all other people should aspire to avoid in the dating world. Period. If someone thinks "oh this person actually likes me? Well that's a turnoff!"--that person is a piece of sh!t. OP, would you even want to be with a chick like this? I hope not. You said you're picky, so I have a feeling this girl is extremely attractive to you and you got infatuated with her primarily because of her looks. Step back and look at this from a different point of view--you dodged a bullet.

You guys can try to convince each other for the next 1000 years exactly what this emotionally haywire woman is feeling and doing... the point is the OP shouldn't focus on her and anything that goes off in that direction is wrong no matter where it leads. This was a minimal speed bump. He needs to keep focusing on himself and not let this experience shift him off balance.

3 nice sex dates and then she cut it off, great... tell some kids about it and move on. It's when you start to obsess about this woman's shifting, haywire feelings and actions that things will start to go wrong. Put that energy into yourself.

This.

She actualy used him to try and feel better about herself, now that its not working she is backing up.
Its that simple.


Only thing op did wrong is getting the feelings too fast.

Ppl need to stop the overanalyzing of every msg sent just incase they might sound needy.

This this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. Best post in the topic IMO.

 

[Robert28]

One fact I think many have overlooked that was a red flag to me is who her ex was. Military. Now I have nothing against the military, I have 2 West Point graduates in my family, I went to a military college where I played football. The thing I’ve learned is in today’s dating, women that have military ex’s are some of the most fvcked up broads you would ever believe. I call them uniform chasers. When I read who her ex was I had a flashback to an ex of mine that was similar to this women except we dated for 8 months.

 

[HankHill]

This is the description of a mentally fvcked up woman who is not in control of her own emotions.

Women rarely are in control of their emotions.
May be I missed something but I didn't see anything that would scream mentally f*cked up woman to me.

Actually no... This is the kind of PERSON that all other people should aspire to avoid in the dating world. Period. If someone thinks "oh this person actually likes me? Well that's a turnoff!"--that person is a piece of sh!t.

You've been here almost 10yrs and you're surprised? This is just a typical woman going through a series of emotions. Complain to the man upstairs who created them.

 

[lamath]

Women rarely are in control of their emotions.
May be I missed something but I didn't see anything that would scream mentally f*cked up woman to me.


You've been here almost 10yrs and you're surprised? This is just a typical woman going through a series of emotions. Complain to the man upstairs who created them.

I dont think she is that **** up either.
Imo she is very self centered and lack emotional maturity.

 

[sazc]

I'm not shaming him. I'm shaming her.

He sent those texts because he thought he was in a good position

But she selfishly got what she wanted and now she's gone. Yet you call her "afraid"

I would imagine your opinion would be slightly different if it was a MAN using a WOMAN for sex and then ghosting her

Your logic and comparison is flawed, she didn't ghost him, she replied to his text explaining where her head was at. That's more than a lot of PEOPLE do these days.

 

[lamath]

So what would be the female version of pump and dump?

She probably told him she wanted something serious as an anti slut defense.

 

[sazc]

So what would be the female version of pump and dump?

She probably told him she wanted something serious as an anti slut defense.

That's also something I pondered. She was feeling like his cvm dumpster so she threw up asd.

But his reply in the text tried to combat that. She had an opportunity understand this was not how he viewed it. But then again, she didn't necessarily have to believe what he was saying. If she already felt like his, dumpster, anything he says to combat that is probably going to be seen as a manipulation tactic, to get her into continuing being the dumpster.

But, again, all this hamster spinning is non-productive

Agreed about catching feelings too quick. If there's a lesson in the story, that is exactly it

 

[lamath]

That's also something I pondered. She was feeling like his cvm dumpster so she threw up asd.

But his reply in the text tried to combat that. She had an opportunity understand this was not how he viewed it. But then again, she didn't necessarily have to believe what he was saying. If she already felt like his, dumpster, anything he says to combat that is probably going to be seen as a manipulation tactic, to get her into continuing being the dumpster.

But, again, all this hamster spinning is non-productive

Agreed about catching feelings too quick. If there's a lesson in the story, that is exactly it

Her explanation on why its not.working for her , is only a fraction of the truth.
And this is a reflextion on her emotional inteligence.

its all on her, being hurt by recent break up and trying to band aid feeling hurt by jumping on the carousel.
She wont be able to have a real connection any time soon, sadly she cant see it.
I can see anti slut defense being use alot in a attempt to get over a obviously hard break up for her.

 

[Robert28]

That's also something I pondered. She was feeling like his cvm dumpster so she threw up asd.

But his reply in the text tried to combat that. She had an opportunity understand this was not how he viewed it. But then again, she didn't necessarily have to believe what he was saying. If she already felt like his, dumpster, anything he says to combat that is probably going to be seen as a manipulation tactic, to get her into continuing being the dumpster.

But, again, all this hamster spinning is non-productive

Agreed about catching feelings too quick. If there's a lesson in the story, that is exactly it

I don’t get how society dumps on men for catching feelings quick. Now if a dude catches the feels with EVERY girl then yeah that’s a problem he needs to work on. But some girls you just instantly fall for and you can’t explain why. Women get a free pass because they can’t control their feelings and attraction isn’t a choice, shouldn’t men get that same benefit of the doubt? I’ve dated some women for a year that I never fell hard for as I did a woman I’d been on 3 dates with. You have to MANAGE your feelings and not show your hand but you can’t stop yourself from falling for someone too quick unless your a sociopath. You can have all the experience with women in the world but one certain woman can come along and trigger something inside of you as a man and you’re thinking stuff you’ve never thought before. The sad thing is usually the women I’ve fell the hardest for it never turned into anything meaningful but the ones I was ho-hum about turned into relationships.

 

[Robert28]

Her explanation on why its not.working for her , is only a fraction of the truth.
And this is a reflextion on her emotional inteligence.

its all on her, being hurt by recent break up and trying to band aid feeling hurt by jumping on the carousel.
She wont be able to have a real connection any time soon, sadly she cant see it.
I can see anti slut defense being use alot in a attempt to get over a obviously hard break up for her.

And she will get into a bad relationship that’ll mirror her past relationships when she passed over potential opportunity for a healthy relationship. Seen this hundreds of times with women. They can learn from their past but they refuse too because they have all these excuses and don’t want to correct their mistakes and accept they had a hand in their bad decisions of who they dated.