Introduction Post

DracoDraVain

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Greetings and Salutations.
I understand that no one might actually care about this seeing as I am new here and no one has any investment in me, but that doesn't bother me. I am doing this for my own point of introduction and to be able to put what I am asking for in a tangible format.

I guess I would need to start with the basics. I am a 31-year-old guy living in a small town in Texas. I have been raised by women all my life, and I would say that I spent most of my life being the perfect product of the fruit of the feminine imperative. Being my personal ideology as well as my iron strong will that I imposed on the men around me, and won.

Healthline:
I spent from the time I was 13 until I was 27-28, trying to lose weight and failed miserably. I topped out at 480lbs. I accidentally found a way that helped me get my weight in check. I lost 80 lbs in three months, and 180 lbs over the course of a year. I had some traumatic events that happened back to back and I gained the weight back up to 322lbs. Then in October of last year, I pulled my self back up and started to get back on my path of health. I am down to 240llbs. Oh, and I am 6'7". Otherwise, I have been able to maintain a healthy state of being.

Dating Line:
My first girlfriend was at the age of 24. That was a joke and a sham. It was a Long distance relationship which it didn't bother me that the person broke up with me. It was later that I found out that the reason she gave me for the break up was a lie. But that is because I hate being lied to. but otherwise, I had no real investment in that.
My second relationship was two years ago. We got together and seemed to be going really well. I actually was engaged to her. But we dated for a year, and in that time, I had to fight for the relationship and wound up being segregated from my friends and personal support structure, which some of them were super unhealthy and needed to go. So for that part, I am thankful. At the end of the relationship my father died, I broke my leg, and then after she picked out a $3600 ring (which I paid for in full) she told me that she wanted to break up. I still, to this day, don't know why, because the reason she gave, no one has been able to make heads or tails of. But, anyways, After she broke up with me and I had enough with the stupidity, I entered into a 6-month suicidal depression. Which at the end of which is when I started to take care of my self again and moved on. This was also the first women I had ever had sex with.
My 2.1 relationship, if that is what you want to call it, was weird. So, To date, from November 16thish to now, I have asked the better part of 1000 women out, can have had every last one of them turn me down. I suck at this whole game thing. but in February, there was a woman that kind of put herself into my life, and things escalated quickly. We wound-up have about a two week run of just man house sex every day, a couple of times a day. Then she ran off and married some guy that proposed to her like 2 hours after our last run. That was weird. Just saying. And that was the end of that.

Now, the question I am going to answer is how I wound up here, and Why I am making the post about myself.

So, I wound up in a group that was focusing on testosterone, because mine was low and I am doing lifestyle adaptations to improve that. This group challenged me to read The Rational Male books, which I am in the middle of the second one right now, about a month ago. I was already in the process of unplugging myself (starting in October), but this expedited this whole thing. which was great. It made a lot of things make more sense, but at the same time, has left me a little confused too.

But while back (now a year later after my ex broke up with me), I saw a video with my ex cuddled up with an old friend of mine from when I first met her. I am not going to lie, that hurt. But at the same time, it kind of allowed me to give myself permission to move on completely. I had not realized that part of me was still holding on to her.

This brought me to my current point. I have had two realizations. One, I am still plugged in, but not even close to the way that I was. Two, Chances are I am not going to be able to get anywhere on my own and need help. Which is why I am here. To seek people to advise me and mentor me further in my process, hopefully, faster then I would have gotten on my own.

Respectfully
Draco DraVain
 

Jager

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
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Greetings and Salutations.
I understand that no one might actually care about this seeing as I am new here and no one has any investment in me, but that doesn't bother me. I am doing this for my own point of introduction and to be able to put what I am asking for in a tangible format.

I guess I would need to start with the basics. I am a 31-year-old guy living in a small town in Texas. I have been raised by women all my life, and I would say that I spent most of my life being the perfect product of the fruit of the feminine imperative. Being my personal ideology as well as my iron strong will that I imposed on the men around me, and won.

Healthline:
I spent from the time I was 13 until I was 27-28, trying to lose weight and failed miserably. I topped out at 480lbs. I accidentally found a way that helped me get my weight in check. I lost 80 lbs in three months, and 180 lbs over the course of a year. I had some traumatic events that happened back to back and I gained the weight back up to 322lbs. Then in October of last year, I pulled my self back up and started to get back on my path of health. I am down to 240llbs. Oh, and I am 6'7". Otherwise, I have been able to maintain a healthy state of being.

Dating Line:
My first girlfriend was at the age of 24. That was a joke and a sham. It was a Long distance relationship which it didn't bother me that the person broke up with me. It was later that I found out that the reason she gave me for the break up was a lie. But that is because I hate being lied to. but otherwise, I had no real investment in that.
My second relationship was two years ago. We got together and seemed to be going really well. I actually was engaged to her. But we dated for a year, and in that time, I had to fight for the relationship and wound up being segregated from my friends and personal support structure, which some of them were super unhealthy and needed to go. So for that part, I am thankful. At the end of the relationship my father died, I broke my leg, and then after she picked out a $3600 ring (which I paid for in full) she told me that she wanted to break up. I still, to this day, don't know why, because the reason she gave, no one has been able to make heads or tails of. But, anyways, After she broke up with me and I had enough with the stupidity, I entered into a 6-month suicidal depression. Which at the end of which is when I started to take care of my self again and moved on. This was also the first women I had ever had sex with.
My 2.1 relationship, if that is what you want to call it, was weird. So, To date, from November 16thish to now, I have asked the better part of 1000 women out, can have had every last one of them turn me down. I suck at this whole game thing. but in February, there was a woman that kind of put herself into my life, and things escalated quickly. We wound-up have about a two week run of just man house sex every day, a couple of times a day. Then she ran off and married some guy that proposed to her like 2 hours after our last run. That was weird. Just saying. And that was the end of that.

Now, the question I am going to answer is how I wound up here, and Why I am making the post about myself.

So, I wound up in a group that was focusing on testosterone, because mine was low and I am doing lifestyle adaptations to improve that. This group challenged me to read The Rational Male books, which I am in the middle of the second one right now, about a month ago. I was already in the process of unplugging myself (starting in October), but this expedited this whole thing. which was great. It made a lot of things make more sense, but at the same time, has left me a little confused too.

But while back (now a year later after my ex broke up with me), I saw a video with my ex cuddled up with an old friend of mine from when I first met her. I am not going to lie, that hurt. But at the same time, it kind of allowed me to give myself permission to move on completely. I had not realized that part of me was still holding on to her.

This brought me to my current point. I have had two realizations. One, I am still plugged in, but not even close to the way that I was. Two, Chances are I am not going to be able to get anywhere on my own and need help. Which is why I am here. To seek people to advise me and mentor me further in my process, hopefully, faster then I would have gotten on my own.

Respectfully
Draco DraVain
Hmm. Fair enough. First question to ask would probably be what’s your opinion of yourself in relation to women? Another one - what’s your actual opinion of yourself? What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror? And finally, what is this world to you? What I mean by that is that there’s a narrative about our backwater planet, mankind, men, women, and then there’s the truth.

You’re on the right foot, already starting to pick up on things with the ability to self-analyze and reflect.

This begins with working on your own life and getting the proper baseline of knowledge about the world you live in. And taking full responsibility with how your life has gone up to this point. Total, unabashed, responsibility in every facet. It isn’t going to be easy. There’s a lot of sh!t you’ve been taught that isn’t true.

Welcome to the forum, bud.
 

DracoDraVain

New Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2019
Messages
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Age
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Hmm. Fair enough. First question to ask would probably be what’s your opinion of yourself in relation to women? Another one - what’s your actual opinion of yourself? What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror? And finally, what is this world to you? What I mean by that is that there’s a narrative about our backwater planet, mankind, men, women, and then there’s the truth.

You’re on the right foot, already starting to pick up on things with the ability to self-analyze and reflect.

This begins with working on your own life and getting the proper baseline of knowledge about the world you live in. And taking full responsibility with how your life has gone up to this point. Total, unabashed, responsibility in every facet. It isn’t going to be easy. There’s a lot of sh!t you’ve been taught that isn’t true.

Welcome to the forum, bud.
Just so this is out there. I have been working 12hr shifts for the last week, thus my delayed response time. But This is something that I have been thinking about your questions while I have been working.

1- I am still figuring that out. I have come from being raised to hate men in there totality and worshiping women, to in the last few years I have been able to actually really connect with other men, and women (while I want some in my life and bed) are kind of just there. I realize that part of my disconnection comes from my hurt I still have over my Ex, even though I fell and think that I am over her.

2- Again, from about 24 yr/o forward, I was getting over a haterade towards men, which left a bit of self-hate (which I also believe that at my current place in life I have moved past), But logically I think that I have a lot of value to provide to any environment that I am involved in, but at the same time I am hyper self-critical and have a hard time believing that anyone sees my value. I also am still working on seeing my physical Image as I have gone from 480ish lbs to 220lbs in about a three-year time span. I am told be a lot of people that I am very handsome, but I have a hard time seeing it.

3- Before I would have said that I am a servant to the world. I actually do get a lot of enjoyment out of doing things that invest and bring value to other peoples lives. I grew up with no form of religious background, I became Christian (17yr/o); but, what is taught in the USA, and first world countries, as Christianity is a farse and too passive and submissive as to what I understand to be as Christianity. So, my lends and view of the world and the truth thereof is colored by that.

Respectfully
DraVain
 
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