asking for advice about uninterested wife

[mrgoodstuff]

Interesting conundrum with no 100% correct scenario, solution, or answer. After ruminating on this a while, this is what I would do:

1- Obviously the marriage has gone stale--as they ALL do and wifey wants some excitement. This is the bottom line and backdrop. I'm sure the sex has fallen off as has the spontaneity, romance, etc., etc. 99% of marriages go through this with probably 60% getting divorced, 30% painfully living through it because of kids, fear, co-dependency, and 10% successfully finding their way "somewhat" (never fully) back to a decent (never "good") situation.

2- You're become very docile and beta in her mind. What we refer to as "blue pill." This is repulsive to women, unless they give up or want an orbiter, then they’ll settle usually for a beta male provider, which I’m afraid you’ve become. Instinctively, they want "real men" which is why women date and stay with ass*holes, thugs, abusers, losers, etc.--they exude a form of masculinity and high testosterone the beta male does not. You cannot simply cannot fight DNA and tens of thousands of years of evolution. Women can't help it, their DNA screams "F*uck the alpha!!" It's not until much later, that reality sets in and now they’re a single mommy with 3 kids and a deadbeat long-gone dad, what we call "Alpha Widowed." And riding to the rescue? The beta male provider!!

3- This is BIG: You said you're in charge of investments, retirement accounts, etc. Start liquidating in non-traceable cash or in physical assets like gold bars, coins—something tangible. Seriously. She can’t lay claim to what's not there if/when she divorces you which she probably will eventually do. When it comes up later on, as it might, tell her you lost it. Nothing she can really do. Tell her you lost a ton of money betting on NFL games and you're really sorry. You’re getting help and you’ll quit. I know a guy who did this, the gold bars, fake betting story and everything, and it worked like a charm.

4- Fuc*king the other guy’s wife is a really bad idea on many levels. First, she has to go for it which is probably very low percentage. Then, when you fail, she'll tell her husband and your wife and all hell will break loose. She’ll accuse you of adultery, divorce you, and take half your s*hit including retirement, property, and your future earnings. It will get really bad for you in court when she tells the judge of your philandering actions. All for what? Revenge? BAD IDEA. You're better off looking at Seeking Arrangement and f*ucking a stupid college girl a few times for $300 a throw. Many will even do it for free, but another story.

5- Because your wife sees you as weak and beta, sneaking around isn't the way. SHOCK and AWE is. Seriously. If it were me, and I'm an admittedly very assertive and a sometimes very aggressive man, I would:

Go over to the guys house when his wife is there. Play Mr. Nice Guy and have him invite you in. Then, when you're sitting there on the couch or patio. I would ask him point blank why he's taken such an interest in your wife, cite some examples of your observations, and make sure his wife hears you. Get him back pedaling and put him on the defensive. Tell him what you’ve witnessed and that you don't like it. Don't debate or argue--JUST STATE. Got it? Then, stand up, get in his space (maybe 4 inches from his face), point your finder in his face and say (verbatim), "If I EVER, EVER, find out there is or was something going on between you and (wife) I'm going to chop your balls off and shove them down your f*ucking throat. Ok, pumpkin?" Say goodbye to his wife and calmly walk out of the house. I actually did something like this once and it worked 100% perfect and according to plan, only I ended up beating up the guy in his own house. Then calmly left.

5- When wife confronts you all upset, pretend it doesn't bother you and just tell her, "I took care of it."

Two highly probable outcomes:

1- She’ll ask for a divorce (65%). So what. The marriage was in a tail spin anyway. But now you've hidden assets so she can't as*s-rape you in court quite as bad. Do the best you can to protect yourself and get on with your life on YOUR TERMS now. I'm over 40 and trust me, there are A LOT of women in their 20's, 30's and hot ones in their 40's that are looking for fun, sex, and relationships. Live a little without the oppression for once.

2- She'll be very mad, but inside will actually be strangely impressed and re-attracted based on your think big and kick ass new attitude (35%). It will take time, but she may actually come to respect you more---IF you don't cave and go all beta-retard again. Get it? She'll think you challenged another man and "protected" her (remember the DNA thing?) and women instinctively like it, if you act like a MAN about it and not a bi*tch (cry, whine, complain--only). Tacitly show her that you're not afraid to throw hands with another man who's trying to break up your family, marriage, and take what you've got. Only a chump would watch another man do this.

This is precisely what I would do. The other option is to continue to let her drag you around and make you her cuck, but I fear she already has. Take back your masculinity and power and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. We only have one life to live, f*uck man, don't base your success as a man on the acceptance and approval of one woman. Life is WAY too short.

Good luck.

~Dash~

Fvcking the others guys wife would be accomplished by gaining her trust. Revealing the details and proofs of the affair. Befriend her. Over time many find it a logical conclusion. You cannot FORCE her to do it. She has to desire it and it does have the power dynamic i described.

When you calmly produce the information and befriend her. Over time it will make sense to her that since both of your lovers are gone that you may consider each other. You do have to be sexually desireable. So a beat down out of shape complaining man wont work. A confident sharp and fit man whose silly wife stepped out with whoever. It might make sense.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Fvcking the others guys wife would be accomplished by gaining her trust. Revealing the details and proofs of the affair. Befriend her. Over time many find it a logical conclusion. You cannot FORCE her to do it. She has to desire it and it does have the power dynamic i described.

When you calmly produce the information and befriend her. Over time it will make sense to her that since both of your lovers are gone that you may consider each other. You do have to be sexually desireable. So a beat down out of shape complaining man wont work. A confident sharp and fit man whose silly wife stepped out with whoever. It might make sense.

Yeah, I get and agree with your scenario, in theory, but way too many moving parts. Plus it would take time. How does he befriend her over time, starting from zero, under the nose of his wife and her husband? Then, the guy's wife has to go for it, reveal facts, etc, etc. It's a massive long shot. This is kind of the KGB Espionage Method.

Plus, the bigger problem is OP's wife doesn't respect him, thinks he's beta. and has lost attraction. How does tip toeing around trying to get info from some guy's wife solve that problem? And how is the guy's wife going to know about any infidelity? Is the husband going to overtly tell her? (over dinner) "Hey honey, I f*ucked Bob's wife last night. Pass the salad dressing, please." I don't think so. If there is cheating between OP's wife and some guy, both parties are pretty tight lipped about it. And even IF OP uncovered some info, his wife will deny it and OP will look like a fool for playing Sherlock Holmes and finding flimsy circumstantial evidence "someone told him." He'll look even more beta and OP's wife will laugh at him.

I like my Shock and Awe Artillery Strike Method better as I CONTROL all the actions and interaction. Plus, it's the only way OP can gain a semblance of respect back as he's been the docile nice guy for too long.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah, I get and agree with your scenario but too many moving parts. Plus it would take time. How does he befriend her over time, starting from zero, under the nose of his wife and her husband? Then, the guy's wife has to go for it, reveal facts, etc, etc. It's a massive long shot. This is kind of the KGB Espionage Method.

I like my Shock and Awe Artillery Strike Method better as I CONTROL all the actions and interaction.

Within a religious setting i gained info that spouses where communicating. They keep talking for support. Over time they may grow to like each other and it can become a logical conclusion. Irregardless the communication needs to be done to remove secrecy of the affair. Its a powerful move that empowers you and the other spouse and its the responsible thing to do.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Within a religious setting i gained info that spouses where communicating. They keep talking for support. Over time they may grow to like each other and it can become a logical conclusion. Irregardless the communication needs to be done to remove secrecy of the affair. Its a powerful move that empowers you and the other spouse and its the responsible thing to do.

I get what you're saying and do see value in it, but it's just not my style. Sometimes, in life, you need to exert authority and dominance and put an end to some f*uck trying to mess up your life, consequences or not. At least you weren't a doormat.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I get what you're saying and do see value in it, but it's just not my style. Sometimes, in life, you need to exert authority and dominance and put an end to some f*uck trying to mess up your life, consequences or not. At least you weren't a doormat.

Part of that process is insuring the guys wife has full and conclusive evidence. You do whatever you want to the guy. But blowing the secrecy should be part of the package.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Part of that process is insuring the guys wife has full and conclusive evidence. You do whatever you want to the guy. But blowing the secrecy should be part of the package.

If they did provable stuff at her or his job that should be released as well. Criminal activities that too.

 

[metalwater]

5- Because your wife sees you as weak and beta, sneaking around isn't the way. SHOCK and AWE is. Seriously. If it were me, and I'm an admittedly very assertive and a sometimes very aggressive man, I would:

Go over to the guys house when his wife is there. Play Mr. Nice Guy and have him invite you in. Then, when you're sitting there on the couch or patio. I would ask him point blank why he's taken such an interest in your wife, cite some examples of your observations, and make sure his wife hears you. Get him back pedaling and put him on the defensive. Tell him what you’ve witnessed and that you don't like it. Don't debate or argue--JUST STATE. Got it? Then, stand up, get in his space (maybe 4 inches from his face), point your finder in his face and say (verbatim), "If I EVER, EVER, find out there is or was something going on between you and (wife) I'm going to chop your balls off and shove them down your f*ucking throat. Ok, pumpkin?" Say goodbye to his wife and calmly walk out of the house. I actually did something like this once and it worked 100% perfect and according to plan, only I ended up beating up the guy in his own house. Then calmly left.

5- When wife confronts you all upset, pretend it doesn't bother you and just tell her, "I took care of it."

Two highly probable outcomes:

1- She’ll ask for a divorce (65%). So what. The marriage was in a tail spin anyway. But now you've hidden assets so she can't as*s-rape you in court quite as bad. Do the best you can to protect yourself and get on with your life on YOUR TERMS now. I'm over 40 and trust me, there are A LOT of women in their 20's, 30's and hot ones in their 40's that are looking for fun, sex, and relationships. Live a little without the oppression for once.

2- She'll be very mad, but inside will actually be strangely impressed and re-attracted based on your think big and kick ass new attitude (35%). It will take time, but she may actually come to respect you more---IF you don't cave and go all beta-retard again. Get it? She'll think you challenged another man and "protected" her (remember the DNA thing?) and women instinctively like it, if you act like a MAN about it and not a bi*tch (cry, whine, complain--only). Tacitly show her that you're not afraid to throw hands with another man who's trying to break up your family, marriage, and take what you've got. Only a chump would watch another man do this.

This is precisely what I would do. The other option is to continue to let her drag you around and make you her cuck, but I fear she already has. Take back your masculinity and power and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. We only have one life to live, f*uck man, don't base your success as a man on the acceptance and approval of one woman. Life is WAY too short.

Good luck.

~Dash~

thanks for the comments, and the time invested to write them.

I have already done a half ass, less risky version of this. It did result in some **** testing... but overall I sense it was net positive. I am still very focused on self improve and that is going to be more, hard running and moving to weights. Applying anything I can make sense of from Red Pill. Also focusing on Kegels...and where I live it is legal to have DHT suplements, so I added one to my diet three times a day together with lots of red pill reading. I am well over half done with the reading and it is helping to frame the truth into my self. I have noticed that guys are taking note.. don't notice any change yet from women.

I get the point of what the others tell about how to do the other wife. After really thinking it, it would break my idea of self integrity. I believe it would have the positive effects suggested. But would harm me in other ways. Who knows about how it goes in the future..

I am very convinced that my path is to raise SMV.

 

[metalwater]

All I saw was his wife was flirting . I didn't see where there was an actual physical affair.

WAS there an actual physical affair?
If not, my advice stands.

If there was, he needs to file for divorce.

I agree with this. No proof. If proof, it all folds immediately.

 

[Tdawg]

Don't get too caught up in this red pill crap. Just remember to always stand up for yourself ALWAYS. Start today. When someone (even your wife or kids) does or says something to you that even remotely doesn't feel right (disrespectful), you nip that crap in the bud ASAP. It's your way or the highway; that's it... no compromises. No disrespect, ever again. Sometimes it's easier to let bull**** in your life go unchallenged, but eventually it piles up and leaves a hole in your soul. I myself have always been a little scrappy, maybe too much so I find myself often in brawls with other guys and wife and kids that apparently are scared of me; you don't want that either.

 

[speed dawg]

Go over to the guys house when his wife is there. Play Mr. Nice Guy and have him invite you in. Then, when you're sitting there on the couch or patio. I would ask him point blank why he's taken such an interest in your wife, cite some examples of your observations, and make sure his wife hears you. Get him back pedaling and put him on the defensive. Tell him what you’ve witnessed and that you don't like it. Don't debate or argue--JUST STATE. Got it? Then, stand up, get in his space (maybe 4 inches from his face), point your finder in his face and say (verbatim), "If I EVER, EVER, find out there is or was something going on between you and (wife) I'm going to chop your balls off and shove them down your f*ucking throat. Ok, pumpkin?" Say goodbye to his wife and calmly walk out of the house. I actually did something like this once and it worked 100% perfect and according to plan, only I ended up beating up the guy in his own house. Then calmly left.

Bro, this is not good advice. This actually sounds like you got it off that Roger Dorn scene in Major League.

This is going to do nothing but make you look powerless. It's not the other guy's fault, it's the OP's wife. She is a grown adult, she can take care of herself when it comes to flirting. He's not physically abusing her, which would call for some intervention.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Bro, this is not good advice. This actually sounds like you got it off that Roger Dorn scene in Major League.

This is going to do nothing but make you look powerless. It's not the other guy's fault, it's the OP's wife. She is a grown adult, she can take care of herself when it comes to flirting. He's not physically abusing her, which would call for some intervention.

I did something like this a number of years ago and it did work. Basically, "Don't f*uck with my sh*it." But, that's me. I take a very aggressive stance in life, and it's not for everyone. But I refuse to be a chump or doormat.

 

[RickTheToad]

Sounds like you're entering a possible dead bedroom situation. I feel for you dude. Need to get back to basics and work on yourself. Not necessarily for your marriage or her, but for you and your own well being. I know this sounds counteractive, but spend less time with her or around her than more. Time can help heal wounds and restart desire IF you become the dude she wants in her life. Also, check out dead bedrooms over on reddit.

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

 

[metalwater]

I did something like this a number of years ago and it did work. Basically, "Don't f*uck with my sh*it." But, that's me. I take a very aggressive stance in life, and it's not for everyone. But I refuse to be a chump or doormat.

I did a much softer half ass version, in a public place. I feel like it helped. There was some **** testing after, but almost like it was obligatory vs real.

Still something not right.... I am moving focus to myself. As best I can. Thank you for the advice.

 

[metalwater]

Sounds like you're entering a possible dead bedroom situation. I feel for you dude. Need to get back to basics and work on yourself. Not necessarily for your marriage or her, but for you and your own well being. I know this sounds counteractive, but spend less time with her or around her than more. Time can help heal wounds and restart desire IF you become the dude she wants in her life. Also, check out dead bedrooms over on reddit.

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

been working on that... and yes it was part of the problem and it is my fault as I am the guy, I own that. She responded relatively well to some improvements in that area after accounting for how we got there. I have read twice now about 90% of the red pill info and books (fast reader). The overall advice they tell is same as you tell. The shock and aw of how they tell is something else... regardless of how this relation ends up, I will be better off and in great shape. Something that is amazing to me, is that this formum seems full of guys actually giving advice that is helpful.

I felt I had to and still need to ensure that an emotional connection to another guy is broken or at least interrupted while I fix myself. That makes it harder to back far enough away. That also means I wasn't ready to walk away yet, and that is another problem I am working on. That is a very hard one for me to do, but the Red Pill books have brought it closer to view, I will continue to work on that one.

I have kept a journal for some time now so that I can keep on track of what I have seen.

 

[Jager]

Also, check out dead bedrooms over on reddit.

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

That’s like asking him to be more feminine. All of those guys are in the same frame of mind, basing their value on the women they’re with and the dying relationship they’re in. It’s what got him into the position he’s currently in. A world of cucks urging each other on to further cuckdom.

I realize you’re trying to help him, and that’s admirable, but continually introducing the same viewpoint is going to continually have the same result, in this case a wife that isn’t attracted to him anymore. That reddit is going to keep him in a state of placation, self destruction and cowardice on the subject of women and life, keeping the value of his life tied to his wife instead of himself. In that environment, he’d continue to put women on a pedestal. A pedestal they never earned, and a pedestal she doesn’t even want. Worse, if he did divorce his wife, it would happen all over again with the next woman.

He lacks the right frame of mind about himself and the world he lives in. Solving that is the solution.

 

[metalwater]

That’s like asking him to be more feminine. All of those guys are in the same frame of mind, basing their value on the women they’re with and the dying relationship they’re in. It’s what got him into the position he’s currently in. A world of cucks urging each other on to further cuckdom.

I realize you’re trying to help him, and that’s admirable, but continually introducing the same viewpoint is going to continually have the same result, in this case a wife that isn’t attracted to him anymore. That reddit is going to keep him in a state of placation, self destruction and cowardice on the subject of women and life, keeping the value of his life tied to his wife instead of himself. In that environment, he’d continue to put women on a pedestal. A pedestal they never earned. Worse, if he did divorce his wife, it would happen all over again with the next woman.

He lacks the right frame of mind about himself and the world he lives in. Solving that is the solution.

I haven't read that exact site actually. The tact I had/have taken in that regard is MUCH more aggressive than before. I picked that up from a place, actualized.org before I found this place.

I believe you are correct about the root issue. The Red Pill books are digging deep at me about it. Especially MMSLP and PFP. TheBookofPook is funny, but very real... I can get the different viewpoints different ppls advice, about what is the best way. I am 100% certain that my past way is wrong.

It is still a bit like a bad dream...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That’s like asking him to be more feminine. All of those guys are in the same frame of mind, basing their value on the women they’re with and the dying relationship they’re in. It’s what got him into the position he’s currently in. A world of cucks urging each other on to further cuckdom.

I realize you’re trying to help him, and that’s admirable, but continually introducing the same viewpoint is going to continually have the same result, in this case a wife that isn’t attracted to him anymore. That reddit is going to keep him in a state of placation, self destruction and cowardice on the subject of women and life, keeping the value of his life tied to his wife instead of himself. In that environment, he’d continue to put women on a pedestal. A pedestal they never earned, and a pedestal she doesn’t even want. Worse, if he did divorce his wife, it would happen all over again with the next woman.

He lacks the right frame of mind about himself and the world he lives in. Solving that is the solution.

I get what your saying. The right advice in the CUCK situations is PLAYER advice. Active Cucks can only further a cuck viewpoint.

 

[skinnyguy]

In 2019, marriage is just a financial contract. Anyone who expects romance, sex, or attention is in for a big surprise.

I don't think OP made a mistake by marrying. He clearly got something out of it at some point. But as with many relationships, this one has run its course. He needs to get out of it for his sake, and his kids' sake.

 

[RickTheToad]

been working on that... and yes it was part of the problem and it is my fault as I am the guy, I own that. She responded relatively well to some improvements in that area after accounting for how we got there. I have read twice now about 90% of the red pill info and books (fast reader). The overall advice they tell is same as you tell. The shock and aw of how they tell is something else... regardless of how this relation ends up, I will be better off and in great shape. Something that is amazing to me, is that this formum seems full of guys actually giving advice that is helpful.

I felt I had to and still need to ensure that an emotional connection to another guy is broken or at least interrupted while I fix myself. That makes it harder to back far enough away. That also means I wasn't ready to walk away yet, and that is another problem I am working on. That is a very hard one for me to do, but the Red Pill books have brought it closer to view, I will continue to work on that one.

I have kept a journal for some time now so that I can keep on track of what I have seen.

When in doubt, always good to pause, step back, re-evaluate your situation and get back to basics. It's common place for men to lose frame when they are not consistently watching themselves. A man always needs to continuously improve himself and reach higher and higher in order to maximize his potential in his life.

 

[RickTheToad]

That’s like asking him to be more feminine. All of those guys are in the same frame of mind, basing their value on the women they’re with and the dying relationship they’re in. It’s what got him into the position he’s currently in. A world of cucks urging each other on to further cuckdom.

I realize you’re trying to help him, and that’s admirable, but continually introducing the same viewpoint is going to continually have the same result, in this case a wife that isn’t attracted to him anymore. That reddit is going to keep him in a state of placation, self destruction and cowardice on the subject of women and life, keeping the value of his life tied to his wife instead of himself. In that environment, he’d continue to put women on a pedestal. A pedestal they never earned, and a pedestal she doesn’t even want. Worse, if he did divorce his wife, it would happen all over again with the next woman.

He lacks the right frame of mind about himself and the world he lives in. Solving that is the solution.

Respectfully, I disagree. Reading some of those situations can make the OP know he's not alone. While the people who post in that forum are green, the commenters aren't. Many people, dudes and ladies, can learn from other's mistakes and help provide guidance and also help him reflect on where he went wrong in the relationship with his wife. There's always two sides to a story just like there's two sides to a coin. We all have to own up to our mistakes and misgivings. We all have them... Even toads.