Tips on going out alone?

[nicksaiz65]

So in an effort to boost up the amount of Cold Approaches I'm doing, I've decided to start gaming solo at bars. My friends don't want to go out all the time, and if I could Game by myself anywhere I'd be more effective. It took a bit of effort, but I managed to go do it last night and I had a good time.

Any tips regarding going out alone, if any of you do that?

Specifically, what if you see like a little clique all sitting together at a table? Do you just go and sit beside them and start talking or is that considered intrusive?

Do you all ever Game solo at a high energy environment like a Club?

 

[Billtx49]

Specifically, what if you see like a little clique all sitting together at a table? Do you just go and sit beside them and start talking or is that considered intrusive?

Table clique intro game hardly ever works. You only look strange sitting at the next table alone. A group at the bar is a totally different story. Say a friendly hiya when you sit down next to them and get invited into the convo, which will likely happen with you being the new guy. If it doesn’t, you have a closer personal intro effort.

If a bar is starting to get crowded, always take a seat with an empty next to it. If bar is already crowded and woman has an empty next to her, even if you don’t like her looks, she Will have female friends, take that one after you confirm no one is sitting there and only temporarily vacant…
Bar game is more up close and personal than table clique game…

 

[Kotaix]

Check out Dan Bacon's videos on Youtube, he developed his schtick by cold approaching girls at bars until he got it right. He has good advice I've put to use, the main one being assuming that they accept you for who you are before you ever talk to them. I'm on the fence about recommend buying his book though.

Solo game might work better during the day, one-on-one with whomever you happen to meet. Like hot cashiers or random hotties at the supermarket. I've heard a lot of people say day game is where it's at now.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes, agree with Bill.

The nice thing about barstool-game is you only have to turn your head to talk to chicks. You don’t have to “approach” their table. So it never looks tryhard or creepy.

This principle works in clubs too, only you are generally standing at the bar area* rather than seated. Gaming solo at a club is fine.

*A lot of clubs don’t have seats at the bar area.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Table clique intro game hardly ever works. You only look strange sitting at the next table alone. A group at the bar is a totally different story. Say a friendly hiya when you sit down next to them and get invited into the convo, which will likely happen with you being the new guy. If it doesn’t, you have a closer personal intro effort.

If a bar is starting to get crowded, always take a seat with an empty next to it. If bar is already crowded and woman has an empty next to her, even if you don’t like her looks, she Will have female friends, take that one after you confirm no one is sitting there and only temporarily vacant…
Bar game is more up close and personal than table clique game…

I see. So that's why they say to always sit at the bar while on your purpose. Does seem pretty effective that way.

Now how would you handle it if the live musicians were outside and there were a bunch of tables? Still sit at the bar?

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yes, agree with Bill.

The nice thing about barstool-game is you only have to turn your head to talk to chicks. You don’t have to “approach” their table. So it never looks tryhard or creepy.

This principle works in clubs too, only you are generally standing at the bar area* rather than seated. Gaming solo at a club is fine.

*A lot of clubs don’t have seats at the bar area.

Ok! I find bar approaches very easy at this point. Really easy to go be social. So at the club, I guess you'd either be at the bar chilling/drinking or dancing/doing dance floor game.

Although once again, how would you handle the situation where you have the bar but then live music is outside but there are only tables? That's a conundrum for me.

And I suppose as long as you're out socializing with everyone it looks fine, correct?

 

[Billtx49]

I see. So that's why they say to always sit at the bar while on your purpose. Does seem pretty effective that way.

Now how would you handle it if the live musicians were outside and there were a bunch of tables? Still sit at the bar?

The One thing you do Not want to do is sit at a table alone in a club environment. Makes you look lonely and desperate to others.Have a wing if you feel like doing table game…
Make a male friend at the bar and drag him outside to the table with you.
‘Let’s go sit outside to hear the band, looks like there’s more chicks out there’…
Picking up a horny wing is easier than a woman… Take the lead role.

 

[Mike32ct]

Ok! I find bar approaches very easy at this point. Really easy to go be social. So at the club, I guess you'd either be at the bar chilling/drinking or dancing/doing dance floor game.

Correct. Bar area or dancefloor at a club. That’s basically it. Table areas are reserved and generally off-limits. Even if there is a small table with open seating, sitting there alone is weird.

Although once again, how would you handle the situation where you have the bar but then live music is outside but there are only tables? That's a conundrum for me.

That’s a tough one to game alone. That’s why I don’t do “patio bars.” I’m sure there is a way, but I don’t know. Defer to the other guys.

And I suppose as long as you're out socializing with everyone it looks fine, correct?

Yes. Correct. And you don’t have to work the whole room. Can just talk to people in your vicinity including the bartender.

 

[nicksaiz65]

The One thing you do Not want to do is sit at a table alone in a club environment. Makes you look lonely and desperate to others.Have a wing if you feel like doing table game…
Make a male friend at the bar and drag him outside to the table with you.
‘Let’s go sit outside to hear the band, looks like there’s more chicks out there’…
Picking up a horny wing is easier than a woman… Take the lead role.

Never tried this but it doesn't sound hard. I'll give it a shot and then update this thread

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yes. Correct. And you don’t have to work the whole room. Can just talk to people in your vicinity including the bartender.

Thanks man. Makes me feel a lot better. My friends don't always wanna go out so I'd like to master the skill of going out alone/approaching alone so I can do it whenever wherever without looking crazy. Would you go out alone to a festival function like a wine festival/a margarita festival though? Just curious cause I'll probably drag my friends out lol.

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks man. Makes me feel a lot better. My friends don't always wanna go out so I'd like to master the skill of going out alone/approaching alone so I can do it whenever wherever without looking crazy. Would you go out alone to a festival function like a wine festival/a margarita festival though? Just curious cause I'll probably drag my friends out lol.

No, that’s not something I’d do alone. I’m sure it’s possible, but not my thing.

I would bring friends to that.

 

[Julian]

change your venue bro. that solo guy table top game only works if you are very socially calibrated and honest in your approach. After you build a little rapport with anyone an easy transition opener I would use is "Hey you seem chill, in an effort to meet new people id like to buy you a drink, whata ya have?"

I would get into a good mindstate, get dressed comfortable and cool. turn my swag on and project a positivity. The best thing to do is post up at the bar, order a drink and make convo with the bartender. observe your surroundings, people watch, take it all in to analyze and strategize. take note of anyone who makes eye contact with you, read peoples body language and stay cool. if you see other solo people try and mingle or approach them. and of course if a female smiles or looks at you OPEN HER UP WITHIN 3 SECONDS. Dont wait around. Strike while the iron is hot.

also stay mobile...dont be in 1 spot too long if you arent socializing. also it helps to have a pack of smokes an maybe go out see what they are up to. easy convos and connections with people. lots of people who dont regularly smoke will partake when out drinking and it breaks the ice.

do not be desperate do not hang around unwanted, pick up on social queues and most of all HAVE FUN! talk some outrageous sh1t to people and see their reactions. troll everybody lowkey or be your genuine self I mean who cares everyone is drinking anyway. ALWAYS EXCHANGE SOCIAL MEDIA, INSTAGRAM. this will keep the connections going and give you some data and something to physically see as a fruit of your labor, making connections from real life interactions.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

My advice: Skip bars and approach on the street or grocery store etc.

But to your question about approaching groups, be it bars or elsewhere, don't sit down near them. Just walk right up, directly, with intention and without hesitation and make your intro. Being in proximity for ANY amount of time before opening them is bad.

 

[Spaz]

If ur intent to go out is solely to hit up on women then you're wasting ur time, you'd come off as needy or creepy.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If ur intent to go out is solely to hit up on women then you're wasting ur time, you'd come off as needy or creepy.

I understand why you say this, and I think BE has said similar, but as busy as I am with work and hanging out with friends (the latter of which doesn't always give me a lot of options to cold approach), I find I have to dedicate a certain amount of time each week to go out with my only goal being to approach women. I have not found my vibe to be needy or creepy and the vast majority of women I approach are into it, and even verbally appreciative. I have seen zero difference in attitude or response from women when I am out for the sole purpose of meeting them vs being out for other reasons. In addition, most people go to dance clubs or meet-markets for the sole purpose of meeting people. I'm too old for that crap but the point is that people go to those places for one reason alone and no one thinks of them as needy or desperate.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to set aside several hours a week that you'll dedicate to talking to strangers. What difference does it make if you are walking around with the sole purpose of meeting people, vs shopping or walking the dog or hanging out with friends? For me it's made no difference. I've had great interactions with women in both cases that lead to dating, sex, and relationships.

 

[Spaz]

I understand why you say this, and I think BE has said similar, but as busy as I am with work and hanging out with friends (the latter of which doesn't always give me a lot of options to cold approach), I find I have to dedicate a certain amount of time each week to go out with my only goal being to approach women. I have not found my vibe to be needy or creepy and the vast majority of women I approach are into it, and even verbally appreciative. I have seen zero difference in attitude or response from women when I am out for the sole purpose of meeting them vs being out for other reasons. In addition, most people go to dance clubs or meet-markets for the sole purpose of meeting people. I'm too old for that crap but the point is that people go to those places for one reason alone and no one thinks of them as needy or desperate.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to set aside several hours a week that you'll dedicate to talking to strangers. What difference does it make if you are walking around with the sole purpose of meeting people, vs shopping or walking the dog or hanging out with friends? For me it's made no difference. I've had great interactions with women in both cases that lead to dating, sex, and relationships.

The big difference is that u r molding urself in the feminine imperative.

The longer you mold urself in it the more you lose ur masculinity, its an inevitable process, as inevitable as as the sun rises and sets.

At most this is a band aid.

Increase ur social networking, if u r a great mother fvcking man, women in ur current social setting will introduce you to other women. That too is an inevitable process. Aim to be like the sun, it generates its own fuel and pulls in planets to orbit it.

I'm surprised that one as knowledgeable as you are don't know this.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I'm surprised that one as knowledgeable as you are don't know this.

Social circle can't hold a candle to cold approach. Social circle will always have limits. But if I wanted to, I could approach/meet 100+ girls a day. Could a man who has the best social circle on the planet claim the same? My social life is very busy and full. Any day of the week or weekend, I choose between several options of who to see and what to do. And yes, I do get introduced to girls from my female friends. But there are only so many within the circle and linked circles, and I'm picky, so the odds of my being attracted to a setup are extremely low. Yet if I walk down the street, ANY and EVERY girl I see who I find attractive is available to me to approach and meet and possibly date. There is no feminine imperative here. Men lead. That means men approach. I could approach on my way to work or at the grocery store, or I could also carve out some time to focus on only approaching. It's been worth it. I've had incredible experiences I rarely used to have, with women much hotter, younger, and higher value than before. It's working just fine for me.

 

[sangheilios]

During the fall of the previous year I had a run where I was going solo for a while and eventually became pretty comfortable with it. Like you, a lot of times my friends were just busy or didn't want to go out at all, so instead of hanging around the house I'd go out by myself.

Find a place, or more, that you feel comfortable in, this sounds kind of odd but it's important to find a joint you vibe well in. For myself, there is a local place that I like to go to that has a huge outdoor area, live music, plenty of seating, a little diner as well as an indoor area. I'd hang out in one area for a while, get comfortable, maybe go approach women who looked approachable, etc. If not, I'd go to a different part and just rinse repeat. I also liked this place because it was a slightly older establishment and had a classier vibe, the people overall were just more friendly and it had less of a hardcore nightclub feel to it.

If having a drink, or two, will help you to relax I highly suggest this, just don't get drunk and you'll be good. Maybe hang out by the bar area, the women will naturally come within your vicinity so it'll be an easy way to just say hi to them without having to actually approach.

Most people are pretty chill, I really wouldn't worry about it all that much. Also, it generally is more fun to go out with other people and is far easier to meet women this way, though as you've mentioned this isn't always an option.

 

[Spaz]

Social circle can't hold a candle to cold approach. Social circle will always have limits. But if I wanted to, I could approach/meet 100+ girls a day. Could a man who has the best social circle on the planet claim the same? My social life is very busy and full. Any day of the week or weekend, I choose between several options of who to see and what to do. And yes, I do get introduced to girls from my female friends. But there are only so many within the circle and linked circles, and I'm picky, so the odds of my being attracted to a setup are extremely low. Yet if I walk down the street, ANY and EVERY girl I see who I find attractive is available to me to approach and meet and possibly date. There is no feminine imperative here. Men lead. That means men approach. I could approach on my way to work or at the grocery store, or I could also carve out some time to focus on only approaching. It's been worth it. I've had incredible experiences I rarely used to have, with women much hotter, younger, and higher value than before. It's working just fine for me.

It's like a salesman selling a one off item that who needs to go around to pitch yet again to another potential buyer VS one who has repeat sales via introduction, not because of the product but because of him.

That's the game.

It ain't working for you because you'll be worn out and tired in the long run.

Always molding urself to suit the environment.

That's PUA tactics.

But you'll come to realise it one way or the other.

In the end if you aspire to succeed you'll need to generate a presence that molds people to you, its not limited to just women but all people.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

It's like a salesman selling a one off item that who needs to go around to pitch yet again to another potential buyer VS one who has repeat sales via introduction, not because of the product but because of him.

How many introductions do you get per day or per week? What percentage of them do you find attractive?

It ain't working for you because you'll be worn out and tired in the long run.

I will? What's tiring me out? Walking down the street and talking to people? What if I told you that energized me? I could make the same argument about whatever social events you are going to... tiring you out.

Always molding urself to suit the environment.

Now you're just making things up. Being in public and striking up genuine conversation with strangers is not molding yourself to the environment. I'm the same person I always am, and I need not mold myself to anything. That's got nothing to do with PUA tactics.

In the end if you aspire to succeed you'll need to generate a presence that molds people to you, its not limited to just women but all people.

That's great advice. Developing as a man and a person is a great goal for everyone. But even the best fisherman in the world have to go out in the boat to catch fish. Women must have the opportunity to be in my presence in order to experience it. I simply give them that opportunity.