The dating epidemic

[Designer Man]

Not sure why it's going wrong all the time but might as well give a few stories on what's been happening. I've been single a few months and I've had quite a few dates. To describe myself, I'd say I was a good looking, in decent shape, energetic, outgoing social type who comes across confident and talkative but not too talkative. I've got a relaxed nature.

Met someone last week from OLD and we hit it off really well, she said she felt relaxed in my company and not felt like that on a first date. We both laughed all evening and you could see we were both really into each other. I dropped her off at home and we had a kiss in the car before she left. I invited her over to mine for the forthcoming weekend which she agreed.

So the night of the second date arrives and she gets to mine. We have a quick drink and head off to a nice steak restaurant about ten minutes drive away. In conversation she gave the impression she was a bit unsure of her own mind and said she can be weird over it but nonetheless she was really coming across with a decent level of interest. As it was only the second date I was quite reserved and didn't really give anything away. I just kept it light, made good conversation and made her laugh.

We got back home after the meal and had a few more drinks whilst watching things on Netflix, she was cuddling into my arm and resting her head on my shoulder whilst also putting her legs across me at various times. I threw the lips on her whilst sitting there and had a good kiss before getting back to what we were watching. About 2:30am we went up to bed and got on top of her kissing her before going down and giving her some good oral.

At this point I had developed feelings for the girl. I told her I liked her (bad move) she was in my bed half naked (had one of my t-shirts on) and I left her hanging. Because I liked her I didn't want to have sex straight away and I was 99% sure we would be seeing each other again. The evening could not have gone any better up until this point. I'm not sure how she felt when I suggested we go to sleep without having sex but that we did and when she woke up in the morning seemed completely off. She left about 20 minutes after waking even though we had a good kiss before she went. At this time I thought things had gone really well and it was like we had clicked extremely well.

I sent her a text a few hours later to ask if she got home alright and she said yes but I don't think there was enough chemistry. I was gobsmacked and explained it was only the second date and that she had huge expectations. She then blocked me.

Upon reflection, I assume she ghosted me because I didn't have sex with her. Due to liking the girl I didn't want to give it all out at once. I also got the impression was she only interested in sex and not taking it further.

First girl I've dated who I really liked and felt I had a connection with. Be a gentleman and it seems to get you nowhere.

I did say to her in bed "I'm dying to **** you but she was like "no". I think she has to say that so she doesn't look like a slt. Anyway, lesson learnt, try and **** asap as being a gentleman will get you nowhere these days.

Possible bullet dodged? She could be a bit of a free spirit if you know what I mean.

I'll update with another dating story in due course on the same thread after feedback on this one.

 

[Designer Man]

Most guys have it backwards. They think "Once the woman gets to know me, then she will really like me". It's the OTHER WAY around. You have to create a fun/sexual relationship before she even cares about who you are.

If you are not creating a fun/sexual relationship with women, you are worthless to them (Hence her telling you there is no chemistry and blocking you).

Basically you came across as a total square and her vagina probably dried up.

It's the first girl I've done this with. Usually I'll be hitting it as soon as I can and it does actually make them more interested. On this occasion, I actually let my heart rule my head. Weird the way she blocked me without actually giving it a chance though.

 

[Crosstimbers Okie]

Counter-intuitive isn't it? Your story is proof that you don't listen to what women say they want. Most are full of **** and don't even know what they want or why they do what they do.

She wanted you to **** her. When you refused to **** her for bull**** reasons the hamster in her head started spinning its wheel and a thousand conflicting doubts began having offspring in her head. Women are insecure. You fed into her insecurity and women hate to feel bad about themselves. She'll always associate you with bad feelings.

 

[Solomon]

Bro this story has so many feels I went through the exact same thing in January

minus the taking the girl to a steak joint

Just chalk the "L" up and always smash when you have the opportunity

to a woman being naked it seemed you rejected her and women aren't use to that. I get your logic but its what it is

 

[Epic Days]

The purpose of a man and a woman being together is sex.

 

[Designer Man]

When she text the day after saying "we are more likely to be friends, you're a lovely guy" I sent back "I should've just fu**** you". She replied "Rude".

If I knew there was little interest on her part I wouldve smashed it but she came across in a way that seemed like she wanted to be with me going forward. Because I didn't smash her she probably felt unattractive and just didn't want to be there.

 

[deaderinred]

Seriously bro? You know you can fuyck a girl and still move things forward? Whats with waiting for sex and being a nice guy? And giving her oral? Then testing like a retard? Id say bullet dodged for her.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Everyone has already said the main points and I can tell you are accepting and understanding of the feedback, but I will just add that a fancy steak dinner on date #2 conveys thirst and lack of options. A girl shouldn't impress you so much that after one date and before sex, you take her out to a fancy dinner. If she does, it means you are too thirsty.

 

[dude99]

It's the first girl I've done this with. Usually I'll be hitting it as soon as I can and it does actually make them more interested. On this occasion, I actually let my heart rule my head. Weird the way she blocked me without actually giving it a chance though.

She is on the carousel. You didn't pony up. The next guy will. Hate to say it, she blocked you because she is getting attention from 5 to 10 other Chad's. All who want to fack her. She blocked you so she can focus on the next one.

 

[Designer Man]

She is on the carousel. You didn't pony up. The next guy will. Hate to say it, she blocked you because she is getting attention from 5 to 10 other Chad's. All who want to fack her. She blocked you so she can focus on the next one.

And this is what we have to deal with on OLD

 

[AttackFormation]

... About 2:30am we went up to bed and got on top of her kissing her before going down and giving her some good oral.

At this point I had developed feelings for the girl. I told her I liked her (bad move) she was in my bed half naked (had one of my t-shirts on) and I left her hanging. Because I liked her I didn't want to have sex straight away and I was 99% sure we would be seeing each other again. The evening could not have gone any better up until this point. I'm not sure how she felt when I suggested we go to sleep without having sex but that we did and when she woke up in the morning seemed completely off. She left about 20 minutes after waking even though we had a good kiss before she went. At this time I thought things had gone really well and it was like we had clicked extremely well.

I sent her a text a few hours later to ask if she got home alright and she said yes but I don't think there was enough chemistry. I ... explained ... that she had huge expectations. She then blocked me.

Upon reflection, I assume she ghosted me because I didn't have sex with her. Due to liking the girl I didn't want to give it all out at once. I also got the impression was she only interested in sex and not taking it further.

First girl I've dated who I really liked and felt I had a connection with. Be a gentleman and it seems to get you nowhere.

I did say to her in bed "I'm dying to **** you but she was like "no". I think she has to say that so she doesn't look like a slt. Anyway, lesson learnt, try and **** asap as being a gentleman will get you nowhere these days.

Check the bolded parts. These are some serious ****ups, either in action or self-pitying blue pill mentality.

feedback on this one.

Yeah I've got some which I guarantee is what she was thinking too or would be if she saw this thread - what the fvck is wrong with you? look in the mirror dude. Your mentality is off the rails. This girl clearly wanted you to fvck her. Instead you start going on about how you're an eunuch "gentleman", then pathetically start pitying your blue pill mentality when she leaves to find someone who's actually a warm-blooded man. I mean read that for yourself dude, that's what you actually did. Come on.

Weird the way she blocked me without actually giving it a chance though.

^ Pathetic...

Seriously bro? You know you can fuyck a girl and still move things forward? Whats with waiting for sex and being a nice guy? And giving her oral? Then texting like a retard? Id say bullet dodged for her.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[dude99]

And this is what we have to deal with on OLD

That is why you make them work for a relationship. They arent special. That is why you spin plates. You are not exclusive. This is why you do not develop feelings. It was 2 dates. This is why you don't text to see if she got home ok. They lose interest the instant they realize you care.

A OLD chick is nothing to you, perhaps a plate , that you may stick into your rotation. nothing more until they prove worthy of your time, attention, and a steak dinner. After 2 dates, that would be impossible for any woman to do.

 

[jaymbrs]

I'll offer a different perspective. You came off like a man*****. She probably thinks you eat girls out all the time from the jump.

 

[Mazer]

Rule #1
A blow job always come first before I give her oral sex. I need to know how much she wants to invest, a blow job tells me she wants to pleasure me, isn’t selfish.

 

[Trump]

Most guys have it backwards. They think "Once the woman gets to know me, then she will really like me". It's the OTHER WAY around. You have to create a fun/sexual relationship before she even cares about who you are.

If you are not creating a fun/sexual relationship with women, you are worthless to them (Hence her telling you there is no chemistry and blocking you).

Basically you came across as a total square and her vagina probably dried up.

That "connection" has to happen over time over the course of mind blowing sex. It doesn't come before the sex. That's your social conditioning/neediness/feminine imperative.

Yet if had sex with her and her response was the same, the advice would have been:

“You pushed too hard for sex and she felt like a total slut. You should have built more rapport for her to feel a deep connection with you.”

I feel the advice of sosuave is often tailored to the outcome of the set.

But to your point, when men get older, 30+, they don’t just want sex. The want companionship, feelings, connection. All the stuff women loathe when they are older. If the OP was 17 and in high school, I don’t think he would have told the girl “let’s wait to have sex.”

 

[Pandora]

Not sure why it's going wrong all the time but might as well give a few stories on what's been happening. I've been single a few months and I've had quite a few dates. To describe myself, I'd say I was a good looking, in decent shape, energetic, outgoing social type who comes across confident and talkative but not too talkative. I've got a relaxed nature.

Met someone last week from OLD and we hit it off really well, she said she felt relaxed in my company and not felt like that on a first date. We both laughed all evening and you could see we were both really into each other. I dropped her off at home and we had a kiss in the car before she left. I invited her over to mine for the forthcoming weekend which she agreed.

So the night of the second date arrives and she gets to mine. We have a quick drink and head off to a nice steak restaurant about ten minutes drive away. In conversation she gave the impression she was a bit unsure of her own mind and said she can be weird over it but nonetheless she was really coming across with a decent level of interest. As it was only the second date I was quite reserved and didn't really give anything away. I just kept it light, made good conversation and made her laugh.

We got back home after the meal and had a few more drinks whilst watching things on Netflix, she was cuddling into my arm and resting her head on my shoulder whilst also putting her legs across me at various times. I threw the lips on her whilst sitting there and had a good kiss before getting back to what we were watching. About 2:30am we went up to bed and got on top of her kissing her before going down and giving her some good oral.

At this point I had developed feelings for the girl. I told her I liked her (bad move) she was in my bed half naked (had one of my t-shirts on) and I left her hanging. Because I liked her I didn't want to have sex straight away and I was 99% sure we would be seeing each other again. The evening could not have gone any better up until this point. I'm not sure how she felt when I suggested we go to sleep without having sex but that we did and when she woke up in the morning seemed completely off. She left about 20 minutes after waking even though we had a good kiss before she went. At this time I thought things had gone really well and it was like we had clicked extremely well.

I sent her a text a few hours later to ask if she got home alright and she said yes but I don't think there was enough chemistry. I was gobsmacked and explained it was only the second date and that she had huge expectations. She then blocked me.

Upon reflection, I assume she ghosted me because I didn't have sex with her. Due to liking the girl I didn't want to give it all out at once. I also got the impression was she only interested in sex and not taking it further.

First girl I've dated who I really liked and felt I had a connection with. Be a gentleman and it seems to get you nowhere.

I did say to her in bed "I'm dying to **** you but she was like "no". I think she has to say that so she doesn't look like a slt. Anyway, lesson learnt, try and **** asap as being a gentleman will get you nowhere these days.

Possible bullet dodged? She could be a bit of a free spirit if you know what I mean.

I'll update with another dating story in due course on the same thread after feedback on this one.

Bro you did not do anything wrong. She is defective. We have to stop automatically blaming the guy. You can always back rationalize a reason that you messed up if you really try. The point is that this type of American girl is so desensitized from being banged out by so many men over the course of her cawk carousel that she doesn't even know a good man when she meets one.

Trust me brother I am 100% right on this. If you were to peek inside of her head you would laugh and feel sad at the reason she is acting like this. She is confused and is a ball of conflicting feelings right now. Many of them based in subconscious damage and trauma. She doesn't even know why she is feeling so indecisive with you.

Do you think that your grandmother would have acted this way to a guy that she got physical with? Do you think an Amish girl would act like this? Do you think a girl from a more healthy society would be so flaky after getting intimate with a man? Hell no! A girl that is emotionally healthy naturally bonds after sex even if its oral. Many girls in the USA have a broken bonding mechanism. This chick is gonna be single for a long time if not forever. She might even have another dude that she isn't telling you about.

This is the hardest pill to swallow and I have not 100% internalized it yet. The hardest pill to swallow is that they often have no good reason why they reject good men. We on this site are putting puzzy on a pedestal when we automatically take their side and say the guy did something wrong. No you didn't. You made her laugh, fed her, got physical, played with her snatch and then like a normal human being said I like you. In ANY other time period you guys would be dating.

Most guys on this site don't have female friends like I do so they are not privy to their innermost confessions. What I have learned is that they often just do self sabotaging things and don't know why. This is especially true for the damaged ones.

 

[RickTheToad]

@Designer Man... She was half naked in your bed. She wanted to fvck! Another thing.... DO NOT FEED THE HER BEFORE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

I was kinda stuck in your position once.... This lady I met was blowing up my phone and she always wanted to hang out more than I was able (other ladies in rotation).. Anyway, she came over and I said we're going into the pool. She said she couldn't, because of her period. Fair enough, I went and we had some drinks. We went inside and things got hot an heavy. She offered to take out her tampon for sex, I declined. I saw her a time or two after that, but she refused to have sex because I wouldn't fvck her on her period.

Point being, always fvck or you kill your vibe. AND STOP FEEDING HER BEFORE ANY SEX!!!!

 

[RickTheToad]

Bro you did not do anything wrong. She is defective. We have to stop automatically blaming the guy. You can always back rationalize a reason that you messed up if you really try. The point is that this type of American girl is so desensitized from being banged out by so many men over the course of her cawk carousel that she doesn't even know a good man when she meets one.

Trust me brother I am 100% right on this. If you were to peak inside of her head you would laugh and feel sad at the reason she is acting like this. She is confused and is a ball of conflicting feelings right now. Many of them based in subconscious damage and trauma. She doesn't even know why she is feeling so indecisive with you.

Do you think that your grandmother would have acted this way to a guy that she got physical with? Do you think an Amish girl would act like this? Do you think a girl from a more healthy society would be so flaky after getting intimate with a man? Hell no! A girl that is emotionally healthy naturally bonds after sex even if its oral. Many girls in the USA have a broken bonding mechanism. This chick is gonna be single for a long time if not forever. She might even have another dude that she isn't telling you about.

This is the hardest pill to swallow and I have not 100% internalized it yet. The hardest pill to swallow is that they often have no good reason why they reject good men. We on this site are putting puzzy on a pedestal when we automatically take their side and say the guy did something wrong. No you didn't. You made her laugh, fed her, got physical, played with her snatch and then like a normal human being said I like you. In ANY other time period you guys would be dating.

Most guys on this site don't have female friends like I do so they are not privy to their innermost confessions. What I have learned is that they often just do self sabotaging things and don't know why. This is especially true for the damaged ones.

@Pandora, dude, I respect what you are saying, and I actually agree with your methods, however, the ladies DO NOT. A man has to change with the times if he expects to have any type of sex with a lady. That means, you have sex with them when the opportunity arrises. When a man misses these opportunities because they are scared, weak, a gentlemen, whatever, she, by default, no longer sees him as a sexual partner.

You may not want to hear this, but this is the truth. These sir lance-a-lot days of courting ladies are over.

Example, I started seeing this other lady a few weeks ago to keep the rotation fresh. We had a nice first date, she paid. I attempted, but she grabbed the bill out of my hand and paid. Okay. Next week I invited her to my place to cook something. We were fooling around on the couch, and she said did you invite me over just for sex? I said, why do you think that? What ever happens is up to you. It's your body. I have no pre-conceived plans. Whatever willing happens, happens. She then said I like your answer and then took my hand and said let's get comfy in the bedroom.

Point being, you have to go with what happens in the moment. Ladies do not plan, they like spontaneity. This be a gentleman sh!t no longer works. See above and my previous post on both examples... I still regret not fvcking the first one... Sir-lance-a-lot doesn't work!

 

[Pandora]

@Pandora, dude, I respect what you are saying, and I actually agree with your methods, however, the ladies DO NOT. A man has to change with the times if he expects to have any type of sex with a lady. That means, you have sex with them when the opportunity arrises. When a man misses these opportunities because they are scared, weak, a gentlemen, whatever, she, by default, no longer sees him as a sexual partner.

You may not want to hear this, but this is the truth. These sir lance-a-lot days of courting ladies are over.

Example, I started seeing this other lady a few weeks ago to keep the rotation fresh. We had a nice first date, she paid. I attempted, but she grabbed the bill out of my hand and paid. Okay. Next week I invited her to my place to cook something. We were fooling around on the couch, and she said did you invite me over just for sex? I said, why do you think that? What ever happens is up to you. It's your body. I have no pre-conceived plans. Whatever willing happens, happens. She then said I like your answer and then took my hand and said let's get comfy in the bedroom.

Point being, you have to go with what happens in the moment. Ladies do not plan, they like spontaneity. This be a gentleman sh!t no longer works. See above and my previous post on both examples... I still regret not fvcking the first one... Sir-lance-a-lot doesn't work!

You are right I agree with you. We live in a sick society and we have to adapt. I understand. But the level of game that is required in the USA is ridiculous. Our fathers would have never gotten laid or gotten a gf. One mistake, which wasnt even a mistake really cost him. It was a guy trying to build something on a sturdy foundation. He was saving this slut from herself. He was just like "hey I want us to do this right so lets just wait for another date or two". This is the type of guy you want dating your daughter or your sister but this type of good guy gets punished in this dating climate.

I would have smashed her but I respect him for just taking it a little slow. In order to make it in this dating market I guess you have to be a little sociopathic. Forget trying to be a light in the darkness...when in Rome huh. I don't care what anyone says she is a broken girl. When dealing with monsters you become a monster. Any girl that punishes you for waiting an extra date is not a long term prospect.

My ex did that to a guy she was dating. He wanted to wait ( this was the 2nd week or so) and she said no lets do it now. He lost respect for her stupid azz after that and started treating her different. And I was loving seeing the relationship go down in flames. It was karma. Guys are repelled by easy women.

 

[Pandora]

@Pandora, dude, I respect what you are saying, and I actually agree with your methods, however, the ladies DO NOT.

The ladies should not set the tone for the culture. If they set the tone for the culture then they will end up destroying themselves and bring us along with them. They are short sighted and impulsive by nature. You are correct though. The sir Lancelot days are over. Lets enjoy the decline.