Double standards relationship solutions?

[Newbee2]

relationship with a soon to be massage therapist, what would you think about your spouse working as masseuse in a tourist zone

Where to start.. I'm a male mid 30's. Together with a very jealous woman. been together one yr. She cannot accept I talk to old female freind that is happely married her dear husband is my friend too. I talked to one of her freinds one night we go out, while smoking habbi in a bar, and she 'gf' walked out without saying nothing, angry as very very angry. I cannot go for a health massage alone without her going very mad.

now this sweetheart start working as a massage lady in a turist zone next week and I explained we have to have more trust than normal people, and a strong relationship to do a job like this but she don't care? I told her I dont accept double standards.

what can I do?

sorry my writing I'm not englisk us

It nothing bad about females in gennerally just my unfair partner

 

[xuzaki]

Talk to your female friend, get your massage alone, and do what you want. Let your GF get angry. Don't react to her anger by trying to please her; act like her anger doesn't bother you.

Allowing her anger to change your actions is Beta. As much as it may seem that your compromise would encourage her to compromise, the actual result will be her seeing you as weak and sucking another d1ck asap.

As for her massage job, accept it or leave her. You can't control her or reason with her. If anything, you can try holding a strong Frame and change her feelings about it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Let her go. You can do better!

 

[Newbee2]

I said I don't accept double standards.

I purposed different chocies for her, that gives me the semilar experince of freedom

I said she go with me, and stay in the next room when I give a sexy girl a massage and she can feel what I feel.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I told her I dont accept double standards.

what can I do?

Be a man of your word. Do not tolerate double standards.

 

[Newbee2]

You know if a gf get a beer from a stranger, it's cool.

If a bf get a beer from a girl he don't know, WW3

Fact of life..

Equality and fairness dosen't apply to everything in relationships

 

[Newbee2]

I asked for a fair agreement, but she will not give me anything. I can take it or she leaves.. so I will let her leave. But lets see where this fight goes.. not very happy ending

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You know if a gf get a beer from a stranger, it's cool.

If a bf get a beer from a girl he don't know, WW3

Fact of life..

Equality and fairness dosen't apply to everything in relationships

Complaining rewires your brain to accept more of it. Weakness. Do what you must. Try not to vent or complain. The no double standards policy is self respect. What about YOUR standards?

 

[bacchus]

I banged my registered massage therapist after wheeling her as a client. Raw dogged right in the physio clinic. I had to cover her mouth with my hand so other clients in neighboring rooms couldn’t hear her moans.

Hope your game is good and tight, and you have a good body. Because she’s feeling every inch of every athletic guy that comes in, and that becomes her baseline.

It’s a perfect seduction atmosphere - intimate and relaxing.

 

[Newbee2]

I banged my registered massage therapist after wheeling her as a client. Raw dogged right in the physio clinic. I had to cover her mouth with my hand so other clients in neighboring rooms couldn’t hear her moans.

Hope your game is good and tight, and you have a good body. Because she’s feeling every inch of every athletic guy that comes in, and that becomes her baseline.

It’s a perfect seduction atmosphere - intimate and relaxing.

You really makes things seem better

Yes it has the third highest divorce

 

[LiveYourDream]

she don't care

^^^^ That sums it up.

"When people treat you like they don't care, believe them."

 

[Newbee2]

I'm greatful for all your support.

No it sounded different tonight. Although I wish she didn't go for this work, but atleast she agreed that I could have freedom to do what I want within the same limits as her, as long as I don't do anything wrong. I can massage where I want, and go to gentleman club with dancer's. Etc.

She didn't want to wait outside the room when I massage a 6'y woman. That was too much..

So that is close enough to equality for me.

But a really bad development for the relationship. But if I don't do it she will not learn; NO double standards

Thanks guys

 

[highSpeed]

relationship with a soon to be massage therapist, what would you think about your spouse working as masseuse in a tourist zone

Where to start.. I'm a male mid 30's. Together with a very jealous woman. been together one yr. She cannot accept I talk to old female freind that is happely married her dear husband is my friend too. I talked to one of her freinds one night we go out, while smoking habbi in a bar, and she 'gf' walked out without saying nothing, angry as very very angry. I cannot go for a health massage alone without her going very mad.

now this sweetheart start working as a massage lady in a turist zone next week and I explained we have to have more trust than normal people, and a strong relationship to do a job like this but she don't care? I told her I dont accept double standards.

what can I do?

sorry my writing I'm not englisk us

It nothing bad about females in gennerally just my unfair partner

Your ability to call the shots in your relationship centers around a few things.

First off, are you successful? If so, as long as you start off the relationship that way, you can call the shots.

Are you confident and don't back down? I don't mean in an f*ck you type of way but you state your opinion and if she doesn't go along, you do your own thing. Do it enough and she knows you're willing to 86 her. She knows you're ok with going it on your own.

Are you married and/or have kids? If not, you can be confident in sticking to your guns. Look, until a guy gets really old, he can date a good 10-15 years down from where he is. Until you hit like 60-65, you can easily date 10-15 years down. 50, go ahead and date 40 and below. 40? Go ahead and date 30 and below. If she knows you are confident in doing so, she's more likely to retain your frame.

Look, if you started off the relationship giving in and rolling over to her whims, you're f*cked now. You can't let her do what she wants and have control only to pull it back when she finally crosses your red line. You have to get her early and establish your control. We have this stupid notion these days that relationships are an equality, 50/50 type of thing. That simply cannot be true.

How often do you have sex? If it's closer to what she wants than what you want, she has one of the 3 things in a marriage/relationship in her power. Who has the final decision on big purchases? If she does, that's another one of the 3 things in her power. Who has final say over the kids? If she does, I'm sorry, that's the last of the 3 and probably the most powerful one. In any event, whoever has control over 2 or more of those items has control in the relationship and once they have control, they're not giving it up, no matter how unfair it is.

If you're not in a serious relationship/marriage with her and she's struggling this much with you for power/control, what's it going to be like when you're married and now you're in her frame because remember, marriage is the woman's frame, at least by default. There are things you can do to retain some of that control but by default, marriage is the woman's world.

Take it from someone who's married to a real pain in the a$$, set frame early, make it your world that's she a part of, not this lovey dovey, disney bullsh*t that they spew to western men to cuck them. Someone is in control of the relationship, who's it going to be, you or her? There is no 50/50, someone yields to someone else for whatever reason.

 

[Newbee2]

We are not married, and no kids jet. If kids comes she agreed on a prenup 50/50 custody binding contract. I make more than 2x her even though massage is 1/3 higher than normal salery.

Frame.. rational male

I don't enjoy power struggels, last day when she had a temper tantrum, I carmly whent and lie down on the sofa saying nothing, while she wanted to pack her things and wanted to leave me.

Why this sense of entitlement over power? I don't understand.. I don't like to control her, and thats a bad thing?

*joke* why do some people need a akward smile, like american history x style. Just to be resonably fair. What happent to us here in 2019?

Without a real lady the gentleman dies and so does chivalry.

 

[AJ84]

OP if you’re having this kind of problem now it’s not going to get better. People don’t change who they truly are. Yes she’s saying 50/50 and a prenup, but words mean nothing so don’t think you gained something by her agreeing to a hypothetical future scenario.

Frame doesnt work on someone whose natural inclination is the opposite of what you want it to be. If it did, there would be a lot less posts on this site. Reading a book and applying some strategies isn’t going to magically turn her into your ideal girlfriend.

You don’t have kids with her and you’re not married to her, find someone who’s personality, values and temperament better matches what it is you want out of a girlfriend so you don’t waste your own time trying to mold another human being (with their own values and personality) into what you want.

 

[Newbee2]

I can't distract from the disgusting part that my partner will have intimate physical contact with strangers all days at work.

I get the used leftovers of bacteria's and infections and an exhausted used piece of meat.

I feel massage is the closest thing before selling sex.

Long lasting eye contact with strangers is intimate. And would makes tensions in a normal relationship if a man looks at another woman in a bar

physical contact in a dark room, with nearly naked people is intimacy.. ant 10 times worse

touching strangers is wrong if you are in a relationship.

I know I'm over thinking but ahh!! This feels like a show stopper.. I will try an compensate by getting intimate with other women to forget this. But it feels really bad beeing like this

 

[Newbee2]

OP if you’re having this kind of problem now it’s not going to get better. People don’t change who they truly are. Yes she’s saying 50/50 and a prenup, but words mean nothing so don’t think you gained something by her agreeing to a hypothetical future scenario.

Frame doesnt work on someone whose natural inclination is the opposite of what you want it to be. If it did, there would be a lot less posts on this site. Reading a book and applying some strategies isn’t going to magically turn her into your ideal girlfriend.

You don’t have kids with her and you’re not married to her, find someone who’s personality, values and temperament better matches what it is you want out of a girlfriend so you don’t waste your own time trying to mold another human being (with their own values and personality) into what you want.

She don't want me doing this.. but for her it's some how okay? It's not a healthy development in a relationship.

 

[Newbee2]

OP if you’re having this kind of problem now it’s not going to get better. People don’t change who they truly are. Yes she’s saying 50/50 and a prenup, but words mean nothing so don’t think you gained something by her agreeing to a hypothetical future scenario.

Frame doesnt work on someone whose natural inclination is the opposite of what you want it to be. If it did, there would be a lot less posts on this site. Reading a book and applying some strategies isn’t going to magically turn her into your ideal girlfriend.

You don’t have kids with her and you’re not married to her, find someone who’s personality, values and temperament better matches what it is you want out of a girlfriend so you don’t waste your own time trying to mold another human being (with their own values and personality) into what you want.

Do you make prenup before pregnancy?

 

[AJ84]

She don't want me doing this.. but for her it's some how okay? It's not a healthy development in a relationship.

Exactly. It’s not a healthy relationship if there is a double standard that she thinks is ok.

 

[AJ84]

Do you make prenup before pregnancy?

No. My understanding is that a prenup is what you do before getting married, not before handing kids but maybe it’s different where you live.
If you haven’t yet, look into the marriage and family laws in your country to see how best to protect yourself in case of divorce.