Contradictions from Dating Coaches

[nicksaiz65]

I wanted to elicit some opinions from on here cause boy am I confused. This site always seems to clear things up.

I follow a lot of Dating Coaches and watch them in my spare time. I was putting together a hybrid type Game, but idk if it’ll work anymore. I know different people have different experiences but still. Specifically, it’s Dr. Nerdlove and RSD vs. AMS.

Dr. Nerdlove and RSD say that you should text people in between dates to build some intrigue and maintain emotional momentum. They also say you can compliment them as a means of flirting if you like, but you need to be moving towards the date at all times cause that’s the whole point of texting.

AMS says that you shouldn’t be texting girls in between dates or validating them because that sends the message of “I like you a lot” and if you don’t text her you think she’s going to forget about her. You’re giving away your nonsexual attention. Not only are you validating her, but if she’s certain of where she stands with you she’s gonna lose interest. Also, if you treat her like a celebrity she’ll treat you like a fan. And who wants to fvck their fans?

So totally opposite approaches. Is one more right than the other? What do you guys think? I used to think a hybrid Game might work, but it looks like these are two opposite styles that don’t mix well. Which one works better, what do you guys think?

I like connecting with people with the Dr. Nerdlove/RSD Method, but I feel like if I tried to use that method of Game on a stuck up sorority slut or something I’d just get used for my non sexual attention. On top of that, he doesn’t talk about stuff like Low Interest Attention *****s, Hypergamy, or the True Female Nature. So tell me what you guys think: which one is better and why?

 

[nicksaiz65]

And I did make a thread similar to this but I thought I’d redo it cause this one goes into more detail

 

[marmel75]

There is nothing contradicting. Every person has a different style and what works well for them won't work well for someone else. At the end of the day you need to find what works well for YOU and the only way you will do this is by going on a lot of dates and having a lot of dates that don't go they way you want them to. There is no short cut. It would be like you wanting to be a great programmer without spending any time coding and just looking at other people's code. Doesn't work that way.

Eventually you will have to figure out what works for you and then refine it more and more over time.

 

[GrowingPains]

Theory will always overwhelm you, no matter what aspect of life, until you apply it.

You will likely find that both methods work. But you have to figure it when they work respectively. But that takes personal research which no one else can give you. Experience is always the best teacher.

Remind yourself that 'the game' is multiplayer. One strategy roll not great so if there other players. So you have to figure out what strategy that player is using and then counter it with the appropriate one.

But regardless of which tactic you choose, realize that it probably has little affect on whether she likes you. High IL will always respond whether it's a week or 1 day later. It doesn't really matter.

 

[nicksaiz65]

There is nothing contradicting. Every person has a different style and what works well for them won't work well for someone else. At the end of the day you need to find what works well for YOU and the only way you will do this is by going on a lot of dates and having a lot of dates that don't go they way you want them to. There is no short cut. It would be like you wanting to be a great programmer without spending any time coding and just looking at other people's code. Doesn't work that way.

Eventually you will have to figure out what works for you and then refine it more and more over time.

Tell me if this is a good analogy for that statement...

I’m trying to solve a problem and I have several different algorithms available to me. Some are faster or slower depending on the conditions of the data that you’ll be working with. So I write lots of test cases to see which one is the best overall for my specific situation.

I’ll be damned if I write my own algorithm though when there are so many on the internet.

 

[marmel75]

Except the algorithms are written based on a solution to a very particular problem with very particular rules in place. These rules all differ from situation to situation so while you might be able to use the general principle of the algorithm, it will still need to be adjusted and fine tuned to get it working properly with YOUR set of rules and problems.

You might even find that an algorithm that you thought would be perfect for your situation ends up not working at all and you have to scrap it and start over.

 

[Ranger]

Send her this text right after you get her number or if she texts you first.

“Hey Sandra. I’ve been thinking about our conversation. I’ve decided that I want to try out your holes. When will you be free?”

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So I write lots of test cases to see which one is the best overall for my specific situation.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Send her this text right after you get her number or if she texts you first.

“Hey Sandra. I’ve been thinking about our conversation. I’ve decided that I want to try out your holes. When will you be free?”

Ah if only it was that simple

 

[nicksaiz65]

Except the algorithms are written based on a solution to a very particular problem with very particular rules in place. These rules all differ from situation to situation so while you might be able to use the general principle of the algorithm, it will still need to be adjusted and fine tuned to get it working properly with YOUR set of rules and problems.

You might even find that an algorithm that you thought would be perfect for your situation ends up not working at all and you have to scrap it and start over.

Right. I should be able to fine tune in the field as I gain more and more experience

 

[nicksaiz65]

Theory will always overwhelm you, no matter what aspect of life, until you apply it.

You will likely find that both methods work. But you have to figure it when they work respectively. But that takes personal research which no one else can give you. Experience is always the best teacher.

Remind yourself that 'the game' is multiplayer. One strategy roll not great so if there other players. So you have to figure out what strategy that player is using and then counter it with the appropriate one.

But regardless of which tactic you choose, realize that it probably has little affect on whether she likes you. High IL will always respond whether it's a week or 1 day later. It doesn't really matter.

More testing, more approaches, more Game I suppose.

Tell me what you think. But personally, I think RSD/Dr. Nerdlove's Method would be better for me. I don't see why you wouldn't text a woman to maintain that emotional momentum, build a bit of attraction/comfort/intrigue and then get her on that date. I think that if you don't text a woman and then just ask her on a date out of the blue it won't really work. You just gotta make sure you don't validate her too much(the DJ Bible says this also) and don't overpursue/get used for your attention. Two Strikes and moving towards the date would work for that. Although I have learned boatloads from AMS I may roll with this hybrid style for a bit

I'm thinking this method would work best with my personality type. But what do you think?

 

[nicksaiz65]

My personal opinion:

DJs never get confused.

There's no right or wrong way. You have to go out and TRY--and that means you have to FAIL (repeatedly), and I personally think your bemoaning confusion and complicating things is your way of avoiding failure.

"A failure will help you more than the whole of the DJ Bible." --Pook

Yeah that's true. I need to go approach more and keep going on dates.

Y'know it's funny when I first got into this stuff I thought it'd give you an immutable roadmap to succeeding with women. But it really just gives you some solid ideas and a foundation. And what has worked for other people. You've gotta go create that roadmap yourself.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You said the point of texting is to get the date, but I think that is only true if you need a date. If you already have plenty, then the point of texting becomes qualifying options and eliminating some of them yourself...you know, what women do.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Do it this weekend. I challenge you. Spend the day approaching women with the full expectation of being rejected every time.

You spend a day doing that and you'll be ahead of the pack. Even if you get rejected 30 times. Most guys will NOT subject themselves to such repeated rejections. You'll get TONS of experience.

Going out for a day just to approach sounds like a ton of fun. I've just been doing it throughout my daily life so far

 

[nicksaiz65]

You said the point of texting is to get the date, but I think that is only true if you need a date. If you already have plenty, then the point of texting becomes qualifying options and eliminating some of them yourself...you know, what women do.

Yup... keeping that emotional momentum going as well so you don't get flaked on

 

[nicksaiz65]

"I'm gonna get going but I want to see you again. Will you meet me for a drink?" Ask this without asking for a phone #.

The ones who are interested will make sure you that you meet them. It is that simple.

Yuppp.... Dr. Nerdlove does say you should pre-seed an activity before even asking for their number as well

 

[GrowingPains]

More testing, more approaches, more Game I suppose.

Tell me what you think. But personally, I think RSD/Dr. Nerdlove's Method would be better for me. I don't see why you wouldn't text a woman to maintain that emotional momentum, build a bit of attraction/comfort/intrigue and then get her on that date. I think that if you don't text a woman and then just ask her on a date out of the blue it won't really work. You just gotta make sure you don't validate her too much(the DJ Bible says this also) and don't overpursue/get used for your attention. Two Strikes and moving towards the date would work for that. Although I have learned boatloads from AMS I may roll with this hybrid style for a bit

I'm thinking this method would work best with my personality type. But what do you think?

Give it a shot.

Rules are meant to be broken, as they say. Just make sure youve mastered the basics before you start breaking rules. With more experience, rules become guidelines.

I text girls straight up and ask for the date. I over think texting too much. And if they're high enough interest, which is what I want anyway, then they'll come out with me no problem. So I see it as an interest indicator to not text and see if they respond/accept.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Give it a shot.

Rules are meant to be broken, as they say. Just make sure youve mastered the basics before you start breaking rules. With more experience, rules become guidelines.

I text girls straight up and ask for the date. I over think texting too much. And if they're high enough interest, which is what I want anyway, then they'll come out with me no problem. So I see it as an interest indicator to not text and see if they respond/accept.

Right, as long as I have some algorithm it’s better than nothing at all and I will make progress.

That’s good! Going for the date is the whole purpose of texting as I’ve been told.

And tbh I like to take a bit of Game from every Dating Guru and concentate it into my own unique thing.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Keep doing it. The experience adds up and eventually you get better because you get experience.

Doesn't happen overnight and it never comes easy. Rejection is usually the norm and success the exception. But for every 9 who say no, it can take only 1 yes to make it worthwhile.

I will! I’ve been rejected a ton of times lol.

The biggest issue I have right now is rejecting myself. I hesitate and then the girl walks out on me for not being an Alpha Male and making a move.

 

[RangerMIke]

@LARaiders85 is right. How you behave has to reflect your personality. If you don't like to text... then you should not text. Chicks can pick up when you are being inauthentic if you start modifying your behavior in an effort to do better with a particular chick, there is a very good chance she will pick up on this and lose attraction because you will be the one pursuing her.

Just go out make dates get some experience and see what works for you. The only advice I would give any man is be the best you can be which will increase the number of chicks that want what you have. One more thing, there is no magic formula that will guarantee success, the only thing you can do is fvck sh!t up by not being worth pursuing... being needy... not behaving like a man.... acting like a chick, and chasing after women that are not interested. What one chick finds attractive and interesting... another will be turned off by.... but guess what? What motivates a particular chick will SHIFT like the wind. They are emotional butterflies that just go with the wind. They fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat... and many have no idea why this happens. So never burn bridges, because in a few months things will change and then suddenly you are interesting.

But if you keep changing who you are to try and fit every chick situation (gaming), then you are just fluttering around like her. Someone has to be the port, or the ship can never dock.